


Loki x Reader - Give me Love

by animefreak141



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Avengers - Freeform, Bonding, Caring, Concubine, Dark, Dominant Loki, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Forced Prostitution, Gen, Honeymoon, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, Lime, Loki Angst, Loki Feels, Loki Needs a Hug, Loki-centric, Love, Love/Hate, Major Illness, Manipulative Loki, Marriage, Multi, Other, POV Multiple, POV Second Person, Post-Avengers (2012), Pregnancy, Protective Thor, Public Hand Jobs, Public Nudity, Public Sex, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Romance, Rough Sex, Soul Bond, Submissive Reader, Uncertainty, Unplanned Pregnancy, Unsure, Warning: Loki, courtesan - Freeform, dealing, marriage bond, reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-06
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-02-16 08:07:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 40
Words: 168,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2262204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animefreak141/pseuds/animefreak141
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki won... the Earth is thrown into chaos, and you are taken away to become one of his 'girls'. In reality that really means you are a slave... servant... sex toy... </p><p>One night, The God of Mischief invites you to spend the night with him, leading the both of you down a path neither could have ever imagined...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Invitation

**Author's Note:**

> Okay guys, this is going to be really dark compared to all of the other Loki x Readers out there. It will have A LOT of scenes and situations that are... well... not for the light of heart.  
> There will probably be some Non-con, violence, beatings, bdsm... all of the darkest fantasies Fangirls have had, but are too afraid to openly voice. 
> 
> In saying that, I will try to balance the bad with some good, but that wont happen till much later in the story.

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader ~ Chapter 1

Six months… it had been six months since Loki had defeated The Avengers.  Six months since the Earth was taken over by Loki and his army.  And six months since the world was plummeted into a never-ending darkness.  In that time there had been many attempts to over throw Loki, but none had been successful.  The Avengers were forced into hiding in an _attempt_ to regroup after their shameful defeat. There were rumours circling though the cities that they had been killed… you knew that not all the rumours that went around were true, and that they were more than likely _started_ by one of Loki’s lackeys. You had to believe the Avengers were out there somewhere, coming up with a plan to save the world.  You had to believe there was someone out there who still cared…

A cold tremor coursed through your body and your eyes slowly cracked open. Why did you _have_ to believe there was someone out there who cared? Because if you didn’t, then the darkness of being one of Loki’s _‘girls’_ would consume you completely.  That’s right, you were one of Loki’s slaves… servants… escorts, whatever you wanted to call it.  All it meant was that you had no freedom, no life, nothing.  You were to serve and cater to Loki’s every need.

Your (e/c) eyes scanned the large, dungeon-like room that you had been forced to call ‘home’ for the past three weeks.  You had been taken from the safety and security of your own home, and were forced into _training_ with two dozen other girls.  In the three weeks, just under half of the girls were _‘removed due to their own incompetence’_.  It made you sick.  You had heard stories of how they disposed of the unwanted dropouts, and it definitely wasn’t pretty. Some were given to the Chitauri as playthings, other, more lucky girls were used as maids, while the unlucky and exceedingly ‘ _uselessness’_ were just killed.  
“Once you’re in, there’s only one way out…” you muttered to yourself. 

One of the girls you met on your first night had told you that just before she slit her wrists… The three weeks you had spent in training had helped to desensitise you to rough treatment, beatings, verbal abuse… but not death.  The memories of her convulsing, blood covered body still plagued your mind. Her soft sobs and the muttering of the nurses trying to save her echoed in your ears, and the metallic scent of blood overpowered the usually cold, stagnant air. It was horrid… And what happened the next day was even worse…   Loki had his eye on the girl who died.  He took her suicide personally, and took out his anger on the girls he called on the next day.  They had been gone for hours, and when they returned, they had cuts and bruises covering almost all of their bodies, several broken bones and sprains.  Three of the four were put in recovery, and still hadn’t returned.  As for the fourth… well… the medics didn’t reach her in time, and she was forced to bleed out in front of everyone…

You rolled over onto your aching side and sat up.  The nagging voice of ‘The Teacher’ rang out in your mind. _“After lights out, you are not permitted to move from your bed, doing to will result in **punishment**.” _ His authority filled voice made you want to claw at your ears. You hated it.  You threw the thin, hessian like material back from your legs.  Immediately the cold air sent Goosebumps through your entire skin.  Until you were brought here, you had never been bothered that much by the cold, but now? Now you felt the cold far too easily...  Everyone in the room was given a thin mattress to sleep on, they were the only thing stopping the cold of the concrete floor from seeping through to everyone’s bodies; all the other girls were sound asleep, and yet you were apparently the only one who felt the cold, it irritated you to no end, and often ended with you getting little to no sleep. 

You supressed a sigh and looked from one side to the other. To your left were the girls who were about to ‘graduate’.  They would be moved to the main rooms with the others who had finished their training soon.  To you right were the ‘newbies’, these were the girls who could still feel enough to cry themselves to sleep.  You were situated pretty much in the middle; this meant that you were half way through your training, and that you had been taught to tolerate pain, remain silent, as well as basic mannerisms, but you had yet to be introduced to the sex side of your training, of course, that would all change in the morning… Your stomach twisted and you could feel the bile rise in your throat.  You had seen many girls return from their first sessions bruised, sore and unable to walk… But that didn’t scare you as much as when the training was over… The next hurdle after that was the one many people stumbled at.  Loki. 

You could feel your heart start to race. You had never even seen your ‘Master’.  He personally inspected everyone as they were being trained from a viewing room.  If he didn’t like what he saw, they were removed. End of story.  Was he really so heartless that he could dispose of so many people on a whim?

You stood up slowly.  Your legs were shaking from the day’s activities, but you pushed through the unsteadiness to get to the brick wall, which you used as support to move the rest of the way to your destination: the only window in the entire room. 

The moonlight streaming in the window lit the whole room, even though it was barely the length of your arm.  You looked down to the dead, destroyed city beneath you.  Loki, as a sign of his victory, had taken up residence in Stark Tower.  You weren’t sure how many stories high you were, and even though you weren’t entirely fond of heights, you found a refreshing freedom in just standing by the window. It gave you a chance to momentarily forget your situation, and the pain, and the hunger… You sighed and rested your forehead on the cold glass. Why…? Why did you have to be the one taken…? Why did the world have to end up like this? You asked yourself these questions, and many more, over and over, night after night… Suddenly the heavy, and usually bolted, door opened. The fear of being caught sent adrenaline through your body and, briefly forgetting the pain in your sides, you quickly spun around.  Someone… no… there were three… four people entering.  Crap.  You pressed your body as tightly as you could manage to the wall, hoping that the shadows would swallow as much of your (adj.) frame as they could. 

As they entered the room, you were able to recognise the large, stout, shadow covered figure of ‘The Teacher’, as well as a few of the others who had a hand in your training, but there was one, rather slender but unmistakeably masculine, figure that took the lead.  He was scanning all of the girls as they were sleeping. Oh damn it… they had to stop before they noticed your empty bed; otherwise you’d have hell to pay… Please… stop…  You wanted to move forward, but hesitated time and time again.  Luckily the group heard your silent pleas and slowed their walking to a near stop, but the man at the front did not.  
“Sir, if you wish to have one tonight, I would recommend one of the girls at the end, or better yet, the girls who have just been promoted…” The Teacher said in a low whisper.  
“I know which one I desire. I do not need your recommendations…” The man leading the small group spat back, bitterness filling his tone.  Wait… Did he just say _Sir_? You could feel your hands and legs start to tremble. Was that… _Loki_? A few of the other girls had described him to those who didn’t know what he looked like, and, the more you regarded the shadowed figure, the more and more you were _sure_ it was him. Suddenly, he stopped, and looked to your empty bed. You pressed your back harder against the wall.  Please, just leave… show some form of humanity and leave it be… “(Name)…” the man cooed.  The trembling in your limbs became worse, and a choked sob formed on your throat. You saw the flash of pristinely white teeth in the form of a grin grace his lips. He wasn’t going to let it go, he had no humanity… What were you going to do?

He took careful steps forward and crossed over your make-shift bed before making his way over to you.  The other men he entered with fell silent, and the only sound in your mind was the racing beating of your heart.  He was only a few feet from you, however, before he could reach you, The Teacher swooped in and forced you to your knees.  His large hand on the back of your neck sent a searing pain through your spine.  
“Forgive me, Sir.” He stated while tightening his grip on you. “ _This one_ should know better… I will take the proper-,” The Teacher was cut off and waved away by the man in front of you before he tenderly placed his hand beneath your chin, lifting your gaze from the floor to him.  It was only under the direct moonlight that you could see his features clearly.  He had raven black hair, which in the moonlight looked almost blue; it was slicked back neatly and tucked behind his ears.  It was a stark contrast to his pale skin and mesmerizingly bright green eyes.  You let out a shaky breath.  This was definitely Loki…  
“My Dear, how would you like to join me tonight?” he asked with a sly smile.  Under his intense gaze you couldn’t move, let alone speak.  What were you going to do? If you refused him he would, more than likely, lash out and take you anyway… There was _no_ way out of this situation.  You could do nothing to stop what was coming… Your eyes widened when the gravity of your predicament hit you.  There was no escape.  No hope… No saviour… Nothing…

… Oh God… No…


	2. The Long Walk to Loki...

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader ~ Chapter 2

***  
 _“My Dear, how would you like to join me tonight?” he asked with a sly smile.  Under his intense gaze you couldn’t move, let alone speak.  What were you going to do? If you refused him he would, more than likely, lash out and take you anyway… There was no way out of this situation.  You could do nothing to stop what was coming… Your eyes widened when the gravity of your predicament hit you.  There was no escape.  No hope… No saviour… Nothing…_  
… Oh God… No…  
***

Loki had ordered The Teacher to escort you to his chambers while he attended to other _business_. You weren’t that fond of being around The Teacher, he was far larger and taller than you, and had a nasty temperament to match. His small, beady grey eyes always caused a nervous knot to form in your stomach every time you saw them.  To put it simply, you hated the man.  You hated him, not just because of what he did to you, but because of his… _everything_.  You forced down your irritation, choosing not to look directly at him and instead allowed your eyes to wander over your surroundings.

You had never seen the higher levels of Star Tower before, you had only ever been taken down to the ‘dungeon’ for training sessions… You knew the tower once belonged to Tony Stark, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist, but you never imagined just how _lavish_ it was.  The hallways were so wide that you could probably fit seven people across it, and so long that it felt like you walking down a never-ending path.  You had passed several large areas that were probably used as lounge rooms, bars or general meeting areas.  It was needless to say that since then they had been dismantled and replaced with… well… nothing...  A few Chitauri were gathered in the corners, speaking a language you didn’t know while other areas were filled with the girls who were ‘lucky’ enough to ‘graduate’. You suppressed a sigh as your (e/c) eyes scanned the pristinely white walls.  There were a few colourful abstract paintings still hanging along the walls, the others had either been removed, torn or broken.  There were also several closed, probably locked, doors along the hall.  You were pretty sure they were used for one of two things, meetings and strategy, or as make-shift bedrooms for Loki’s followers.  You weren’t sure what part of your brain took over to make you do such a thing, but you stopped at one of the doors and peered into the crack of the door. 

It wasn’t what you had imagined in the slightest.  There were prison cells occupying the length of each wall in the long room.  They stretched so far that you lost sight of the end, and, the fact that over half of the lights in the prison room were dead or continuously flickering on and off didn’t help your vision at all.  Despite the voice in your head telling you to turn around and continue to follow The Teacher, you just couldn’t… _something_ was drawing you to the room.  Your hand reached forward and pushed the door open a little more.  The hinges creaked softly, causing you to jump back, but you weren’t quick enough.  The Teachers large hand wrapped tightly around your neck as he threw you against the wall opposite to the door with such a great force that all of the wind was knocked straight out of you.  A guard from the room of cells sprung up and quickly rushed outside when choked sobs escaped your throat.   
“What do you think you were doing?!” The Teacher growled, tightening his hold on your throat.  Searing, fiery pain surged through your chest as your lungs struggled for breath.   
“Let her go!” a man’s voice called from the room.  You wrestled against the weight and force being put on you to look for the source of the voice.  You forced your eyes to focus as a man with dirty blonde hair and stunningly blue eyes came into view.  Was that… Thor? Or was it Captain America? Suddenly emptiness split your stomach in two. If _either_ of them were here, it meant that the other Avengers probably prisoners as well…   
“Eyes here!” the Teacher bellowed, taking your chin in his free hand and forcing you to look at him.  The hopeless darkness was replaced with disgust and hatred, and, forgetting everything that had been drilled into you over the past three weeks, you began clawing at The Teacher’s large arm and wrist. 

He sharply yanked his arm away when one of your nails sunk deeply into his skin, sending crimson blood splattering across both of you and the floor. You fell to the floor in a heap, as The Teacher attempted to stop the blood spurting uncontrollably from his wound.  Fresh, cold air reached your lungs, and soothed the pain slightly, though you were so dazed that the pain was barely registering anymore.  Why would you do such a thing? Why did you fight back?! That was _literally_ the first thing they taught! The Teacher wouldn’t forgive- a now blood soaked hand grabbed your throat and forced you harshly to lie on the floor.  You were sure you heard you skull crack against the hard, concrete floor.  Either that, or it was another bone in your body being broken, your mind was filled with nothing but adrenaline and survival instincts which made determining your injuries a feat you couldn’t quite manage at the time. 

Having The Teacher in a dominating stance above you wasn’t new experience for you at all, but there was something different.  In a controlled situation he could control his temper, but now? Now you had pissed him off, _badly_.   
“S-Sir?” the guard asked nervously.   
“ _Stay out_ of this.” He barked back while moving to kneel down beside you.  You squirmed beneath The Teacher’s grip, trying to escape, but you were losing energy and focus quickly.  Breathe… Just _breathe_! The fire in your lungs returned with a vengeance, causing loud gasping sobs to form in your throat.  “Listen here-,” his menacing tone stopped, and was replaced with… nothing… You squinted in an attempt to see the reason for his sudden delay in verbal abuse.   
“My, my…” That voice… was that… “Have I not warned you before about touching _my_ toys?” you (e/c) eyes drifted to Loki, who was, rather casually, walking down the hallway towards the both of you. You felt The Teachers hands trembling slightly against your skin.  Was Loki so terrifying that a man as large as The Teacher was scared so easily? Just before Loki was able to reach the two of you, The Teacher removed himself from you, allowing air to fill your lungs. The Teacher began to back away, but your vision turned black just before you could witness what Loki had chosen to do to him, if anything.  The last thing that filled your mind was a small voice… it said you were surely going to be discarded after this incident… Could it be right? Would Loki see you uselessness and disrespect and throw you away…? If he could, then why chose you in the beginning? Even behind closed eyes, you mind didn’t stop, and just served as a means to terrify you all the more… 


	3. A Night You'll Never Forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does have a, rather graphic, Lemon in it. If you don't like reading Lemons, then go here:  
> http://animefreak141.deviantart.com/gallery/51076156/Loki-x-Reader-Give-me-Love  
> to read the slightly more PG-13 rated version~

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader ~ Chapter 3

***  
 _The last thing that filled your mind was a small voice… it said you were surely going to be discarded after this incident… Could it be right? Would Loki see you uselessness and disrespect and throw you away…? If he could, then why chose you in the beginning? Even behind closed eyes, you mind didn’t stop, and just served as a means to terrify you all the more…_  
***

You slipped in and out of consciousness many times before you finally found the energy to wake up.  Your head was groggy and felt as heavy as a brick, but it didn’t stop you from opening your eyes and trying to sit up.  Well… that is until a strong bout of nausea ripped through your stomach and you were forced to lie back down and close your eyes.  Apparently you _had_ hit your head during the altercation with The Teacher, and, as it felt serious, you decided not to move.  You wanted to stay in the comfortable serenity as long as possible before you were forced back to the holding room with the other girls; maybe if you lay still enough, they’d take pity on you and let you ‘sleep’ a little longer… It was only then that you noticed your soft surroundings.  This was not the same cold, hard hallway that you remembered passing out in… Your eyes snapped open, and, even though the painfully bright lights were enough to blind someone, you tried to look around for some clue as to where you were…

It took a moment for your vision to clear completely, but when it did, you were amazed.  The room you were in was a far cry from what you were used to, and even more luxurious than the rooms you had seen before. Though the more you thought about it, you came to realise that all you had really seen was the hallway… If you had enough capacity at that moment, you would have mentally face palmed for being so stupid. What did it matter if the rooms were nice? What did it matter if it was peaceful at the moment? You showed disobedience in front of _Loki_. That was bad…

You sat up, slower this time, and tried to forget the nagging throb in your temple and ache of your chest and throat.  The room was large, and, most importantly, empty. A small, relieved sigh left your lips as you swung your legs from the plush daybed.  Your body was aching all over; apparently your scuffle with The Teacher had brought back the pains of past injuries. Don’t linger on the pain… Just forget it. Push it to the back of your mind.  You grit your teeth as you struggled to stand.  Your legs were shaky, and several times you thought you were about to fall back down to the soft cushioned bed.  But you didn’t, and even managed to stumble forward, catching yourself on a near-by coffee table before you hit the ground. 

You flexed the muscles in your legs, trying the shake the throbbing pins and needles sensation in your legs, but when the tingling sensation didn’t go away, you resigned to your bodies nagging need for relief, and rested against the table. You sighed and allowed your (e/c) eyes to scan the room, actually taking in your surroundings for the first time.  The walls were a very pale shade of bone which made the room seem even larger than it was.  There was a single wall painted charcoal, which had the head of a large, king-size bed against it, and a thin white veil-like canopy danced in the air above the bed, tangling around the ebony wood of the bedposts.   There were other pieces of furniture, couches, televisions, small tables, and, of course, the daybed you were once on which lay directly underneath the large window.  All of the pieces of furniture followed the same colour scheme, charcoal and pale bone, but there were small flecks of green that offered the only real colour throughout the entire room. 

Wait… the window… Your eyes travelled back to the window.  From this area of Stark Tower, the city looked completely _normal_ … There were lights shining brightly against the night sky, people walking the streets, and even cars travelling across the city… But you knew it was wrong…. New York was all but destroyed that day. Sure, Loki had ordered the repair of a few buildings, but not to _this_ extent.  Enough strength had returned to your legs, and you felt comfortable enough to walk forward.  You leaned over the daybed and traced your fingers over the cool glass.  How was he doing this? You had heard of his abilities regarding illusions… but surely he couldn’t do something this big.  You moved to kneel on the bed, and opened one of the smaller windows.  When you looked out, you were utterly shocked.

There was nothing… no lights, no people, no cars… It was the same rubble you were accustomed to looking at from your shared room.  Your heart sank… You knew what you had been looking at wasn’t right, but still, it succeeded in getting your hopes up that the world _could_ return to normal… You sighed and closed the window.  That was when you noticed the thin wires surrounding the pane of glass.  Was… was it a recorded video just playing on the glass? Was it a hologram? Why would Loki have such a thing in his room? Your brows furrowed. Was this even Loki’s room? You had made the assumption from the luxuriousness of it, but he surely wouldn’t have something to remind him of the old days… Would he? You shook your head to try to clear your mind before turning back around to face the still empty room; a nervous knot had formed in your stomach.

You hated not knowing. You hated not knowing what was coming.  That was the only thing you found reputable about The Teacher. If he was going to strike you, if he was angry, if he was pleased, he was easy to read, and you could tell what was coming… but now? Being left alone with your imagination in a place that, for all you know, could be Loki’s room… it was torture.  Your eyes travelled down to the intricately detailed blanket.  You followed one of the patterns until it disappeared behind one of the many pillows and… a note?

You reached forward and picked up the small scrap of paper.  Extremely elegant handwriting was sprawled across it.  It read:  
 **My Dear; please clean yourself up _before_ I return.**  
The words echoed in your head… It was as if he had actually said it.  A gentle shiver ran down your spine at the forcefulness and authority in his imagined tone. Your brows furrowed. Why were you so infatuated with him all of a sudden? You wracked your mind for an answer, but only came up with one, exceedingly ridiculous answer; Stockholm syndrome.  You mentally slapped yourself for even thinking such a thing. It wouldn’t set in that quickly. You were being absurd… and yet, you couldn’t let it go… You didn’t know the reason, but you just had to know _why_ you were acting so foolishly, so you forced your mind to work, even harder than before.  But again the answer irritated you. Were you just physically attracted to him?! Really, that was the best you could do?!  The thin paper in your fingers crumpled as your hands formed tight fists.  
“I was unaware that what I requested was unreasonable.” Quickly you looked up.  Loki was leaning lazily in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest.

Suddenly his weight shifted from the door and he was walking towards you.  You were hypnotised by his glowing green eyes, unable to move or even think straight.  However, you did feel the trembling in your arms and hands grow in strength the closer Loki came to you.  It had become so bad that you lost your meagre grip on the paper, causing it to fall to the ground.  Even with his overwhelming presence over you, you were determined not to show him the extent of your fear.  However, he had crossed the length of the room in seconds, far too short for you to get your thoughts in order or strengthen what remained of your resolve.  So what did you do? You lowered your gaze, and hoped that it would somehow make you invisible. It was a stupid thought, you knew it, and when his slender hand lifted your gaze, you knew your attempt had failed miserably.   
“Do as I requested, _now_.  Do not make me regret my decision to bring you here.” He said darkly before grabbing the collar of your torn clothes and throwing you towards the open door of the adjoining bathroom.  

You hit the ground with force, but managed to land in such a way that stopped from anything from being seriously injured.   
“Yes sir…” you replied before standing and rushing to the bathroom.  
“You can use any products in the bathroom, but do not take too long…” he started, “Oh, and do not bother putting those rags back on either…” he added, removing the deep emerald scarf from his neck. “There is a robe you may use.” Even though Loki wasn’t facing you, you nodded before closing the bathroom door.

***

The bathroom was just as expensive looking as the rest of the room.  There was a large spa bath to your left, a double basin and mirror to your right, and an extra-large shower which covered the entire length at the back of the room.  But you couldn’t linger on it too long, get in, get clean, and get out.  Angering Loki any more than you already had would only end badly.

After finding the taps to the shower broken, you settled for filling the bath.  You went to one of the glass shelves and picked out one of the bottles. When you opened the lid, you were hit with the sweet scent of cucumber, ginger and mint.  You were surprised just how much you liked it.  It smelled clean, crisp and fresh.  A complete opposite to pretty much everything you had been forced to live in for the past few weeks.  You poured a small amount of the bath liquid in the steaming water before lowering yourself into it.

You washed the grime from your skin, and any evidence of your scuffle with The Teacher from your hair and fingers.  You gently ran your now clean fingers over the tattoo on your wrist.  It was forced upon you when you were brought to Stark Tower.  Simple bars with numbers… it was supposed to mimic a barcode.  You had been brought. You had no say in what happened to you.  Only your new owner could decide your fate.  You sighed softly and sunk deeper into the bath. 

You weren’t sure how long you were in the water for, but when you removed yourself from the bath, you felt completely revitalised.  You wrapped a towel around your body before throwing the fluffy robe around you.  You were less than pleased when you realised it barely came halfway down your thighs.  You sighed, even after pulling at it, the material refused to stretch.  It probably wouldn’t matter anyway… You knew _why_ you were there, and, no matter what you were wearing, it would be gone before too long…

***

When you re-emerged from the bathroom, the first thing you saw was Loki, reclining in one of the couches with a thick book in his hands.  He didn’t even bother looking up when he signalled for you to come closer. You took a deep breath in, and held it for a moment before moving towards him. 

Your heartbeat was in your ears, and you could feel a sudden weight on your chest. Calm down... don’t show him your fear.  Be calm… Be impassive… Calm… Calm! When Loki’s gaze finally moved from the book to you, you felt your breath hitch, and you tightly gripped the ends of your robe.  You had to look away… You had to break the trance he had you in.  It took all of your mental strength to lower your gaze, instead choosing to focus on the book in his hands.  You could sense Loki’s mood change from interest and intrigue to irritation.  
“Sit down.” He ordered dully. You sat down next to him, trying to pull the robe down to cover as much as your legs as you could.  It didn’t work… You felt the material ride further and further up on your legs until it was barely covering you at all. Loki placed the book on the arm of the couch and turned to gently play with the damp ends of your (h/c) hair. “Is something bothering you my _dear_?” he whispered into your ear.  A shudder ran down your spine as Loki’s hot breath hit your neck.  Yes. There were certainly a lot of things bothering you.  Why was he doing this? Why did he choose you? Why did he have a hologram of how New York used to be? All of the questions in your mind swirled around uncontrollably and made you feel dizzy.  To stop the nauseating feeling in your stomach, you blurted out the first clear thing you could think of.  
“W-why did you stop The Teacher…?” you cursed yourself for hesitating.  Weakness wasn’t an admired personality trait...  Loki eyed you carefully before smiling widely,  
“You wanted him to continue?” he asked in a playful tone.  You didn’t like what he was implying, and before you could think, you reacted,  
“No!” you said sharply, making eye contact with the raven-haired man.  His eyes were so entrancing… Staring into his eyes, you lost all of your anger and, and your train of thought slipped away.  However, your single worded answer echoed in your mind, and suddenly the tension in the room and fear in your own body grew. Quickly you turned away from him, hoping that if you remained silent, he would forgive your outburst.

Damn it… Why were you being so emotional?! You had been taught to control yourself, you had been taught to be teased, and, if it was acceptable, flirt back… but not _this_. You were _supposed_ to be emotionally detached.  You shifted in your seat next to Loki, and, though you were no longer looking at him, you could feel his hungry eyes scanning your body.  In and out… breath… calm, silent… If he wanted you, he would say so… You were sure you would be ‘corrected’ before the night was out because of your behaviour.  You supressed a sigh and silently pleaded to _whoever_ would listen that your resolve would hold out long enough to see you through the night.  Loki’s fingertips gingerly ran up your side.  The shock of the sudden physical contact made you gasp and jump slightly. Loki chuckled, almost darkly, before placing his hands on your waist and pulling you towards him.  
“From your reactions…” he murmured while tucking some stray strands of (h/c) hair behind your ear, “you have very limited experience with intimacy…” he huskily whispered into your ear before gently trailing his tongue down your neck.

A warm tingling rushed through your body, causing your limbs and torso to jerk uncontrollably in pleasure. Loki chuckled again as one of his hands slipped under the soft robe to roughly knead your breast.  You suppressed a moan and clenched your hands in tight fists.  You knew there was a faint blush on your cheeks, but you could do nothing to hide it.  Loki was right. You had a very limited experience in regards to intimacy… And Loki seemed to enjoy that fact.   He gently pulled the top of the robe from your shoulders as his lips sucked and nipped at the sensitive flesh of your neck and chest before finally bringing his lips to meet your own. 

The kiss was surprisingly exhilarating, it was like small shocks of electricity running from your lips to… _everywhere_. _God_ it was _good_. You couldn’t help yourself, you had to offer some form of physical contact, so you placed one hand on his shoulder, and the other on his neck.  This allowed him easier access to your bare chest, and he took full advantage of it, pinching, kneading and caressing… You felt your breathing start to race, and you were almost thankful when Loki broke the kiss. Well… that was until you heard his orders…  
“Go over to the bed and _kneel_.” He whispered, pulling away from you.  You tried to steady your breathing before moving, but Loki roughly grabbed your arm and forced you to stand and move towards the bed before you were ready.  Then he himself joined you.  For a moment there you had fooled yourself into thinking the night may not be as bad as you had imagined… but now you were having serious doubts…

***

In the short walk over to the bed felt like an eternity, and, in that eternity, Loki had managed to remove his coat and shirt. Before you had the chance to get on your knees, the raven-haired man pulled the belt of the robe, making your small amount of coverage fall to your feet.  You tried to cover yourself, but Loki stopped you, grabbing your wrist tightly until you gave in and fell to your knees without any form of coverage. 

Loki sat on the edge of the bed and unzipped his pants before removing them completely.  
“You’ve yet to be taught, but here is a simplified version of the lessons…” he put his hand over your mouth and dug his fingers into your cheeks before pulling you forward till you were between his legs. “You will suck and swallow what I give you, there will be no objections.” His green eyes only conveyed a dark, craving need, which was only backed with the emergence of his semi-erect member.  You forced back the nervous sobs in your throat and nodded.  Immediately he released your face and offered you his length.

You took a deep, settling breath before gingerly taking Loki’s hardened member in your hand. You ran your thumb up and down its impressive length while you took the tip into your mouth.  There was an indescribable twist in your stomach.  You didn’t like this situation in the slightest… You felt dirty, and you had barely even done anything…  
“Come now dear, you can do better than that.” Loki growled whilst thrusting forward into your mouth.  You very nearly gaged on his length being forced so far into your throat. A low groan left Loki’s lips as he grabbed your hair and thrust forward again. This time you really did choke, and you were forced to pull away from Loki, much to his irritation. Suddenly his hold on your hair tightened, sending shooting pain through your skull. “I know Midgardian’s are delicate, but if you cannot keep up with the pace I desire, you will _dearly_ regret it.” His threats made you feel even more nauseous than you already were,  
“I-I-,”  
“Don’t bother apologising, just put your mouth to _work_ …” he released your hair, this time allowing you to go at your own pace.  However, fearing another angry outburst from Loki, you decided moving fast would probably be for the best.

You took Loki’s entire length into your mouth, ignoring the protests in the back of your mind for air, before moving back and forth.  Loki groaned loudly as his fingers once again tangled in your hair, but instead of forcing himself deeper into you, he helped to guide your movements, making the change between the directions smoother.  You moved one hand to gently cup and caress his balls while the other moved to his thigh.  However the absence of warmth on your own body, and the growing need in your lower regions made you desire someone’s touch… _His_ touch… You hand moved from his thigh to your own breast.  When kneading wasn’t enough, your hand skimmed down your body to your wet womanhood.  You gently prodded and massaged your clit as your movements along Loki’s member became faster.  A soft, needy moan left your lips, sending a pleasurable vibration down the raven-haired man’s length, earning a low, heavy moan from him.  You slid your fingers deeper into the wet folds of your womanhood, but before you could feel the pleasant pressure of something within you, you were stopped. 

Loki had a tight hold of your arm, not allowing you to move in inch, which also meant your mouth was still filled with his member.  
“Did I say you could touch yourself?” he asked. When you didn’t answer, his hold on your arm tightened so much that you thought your bone was going to snap like a twig.  As quickly as you could, you shook your head and removed your hand from your nether regions.  Loki grinned wickedly and pulled your slightly damp fingers to his mouth before taking them into his mouth.  Even such a small gesture sent a ripple of pleasure through you.  Having apparently sensed this, Loki released your hand and gestured for you to finish.

Loki was groaning far more often than before, it could have been because of your faster, deeper movements, or it could have been because he was nearing his end.  You had hoped for your own sake that it was both.  The mixture of his heavy wanton breathing and loud moans made the fiery desire in you burn even harder,  
“Look up at me.” He ordered, roughly entwining his hand in your (h/c) hair. You did as he asked and looked up. Almost immediately you felt his hips begin to buck against your motions.  The unexpected motion from the man above you took a moment to become accustomed to, but you couldn’t focus on it… Just keep moving.  Back and forth, deeper…  You started pressing your tongue along his member as you moved.  Loki began softly moaning something you couldn’t quite understand, but when he threw his head back, you knew what was coming.  No pun intended. Loki’s member twitched within your mouth as his hot seed was sent deep into your throat.  His hold on your hair tightened for the duration of his climax, and his hips pressed deeper into your mouth, but once the pleasurable waves were over, you were released and fell to the ground at his feet. 

That was when what you had been told rang in your mind. _“You will suck and swallow what I give you, there will be no objections.”_ Though you _did not_ like the taste, or idea of swallowing his seed, you forced yourself to, and once it was gone, you were left gasping for air.  Your stomach was flipping on itself and, even though you had just had a bath, you felt dirtier than when you had entered the room.  Loki chuckled,  
“Good girl… most fully trained girls forget that rule. Even if there were… _difficulties_ to begin with, you have more than made up for them with this.” The amused tone in his voice made you feel even worse.  You didn’t want to be seen by anyone at that moment, yet you could feel his eyes scanning you.  You didn’t want to acknowledge what had just happened, yet he was praising you. Wait… he was praising you.  Another, self-automated, response rang in your head,  
“Thank you Sir…” you murmured. Loki let out an irritated huff before hauling you to your feet and pulling you onto his bed.  
“You are more fun when you act on your own instincts my _Dear_ …” he said with a smirk while climbing on top of you. “I would appreciate it if you would act of your own will for a little while…” The superior grin on his face sent a nervous wave through your chest, but something in his eyes told you he was actually being truthful…  
“(N-Name)…” you corrected him.  You had broken several curtesy rules already and he had yet to punish you, so why not this one as well? Loki’s eyebrows rose,  
“Very well then, _(Name)_.” you hated to admit it, but when he said your name your breath hitched.  “I’m going to reward your _interesting_ behaviour (Name) with a night you _will not_ forget.” Again your breath hitched, but for an entirely different reason this time.  _This time_ Loki’s hand had found its way down to your wet nether regions, and he began prodding and teasing your awaiting entrance. “How badly do you want it?” he was grinning as you struggled to control your own body, he then pressed the tips of two of his fingers into you.

Oh god… You supressed a moan and tried to stop your hips from bucking forward.  Why was he so good at making you want him?  
“I _will_ get an answer out of you.” He growled, pressing his fingers deep into you. You wanted to answer, but the overwhelming pleasure rendered you speechless.  Wait… did you really want to give him what he wanted? Was there some part of you that _wanted_ him to do this to you? Again he waited for an answer, and again he didn’t get one.  He smirked and leaned down, taking the hard bud of your nipple in-between his teeth as his fingers moved faster and faster within you, hitting every sensitive place within your womanhood they could reach.  The strain from before lowered your lungs capacity to hold a breath in, and so you were forced to open your mouth for air, which also meant the moans you tried to suppress came flying from your throat. Loki’s grin widened when your walls of security were finally broken down.  Instead of gentle teasing, Loki bit down on your nipple, sending sharp, electrifying pain through your chest.  However between Loki’s fingers pounding into you, and the feel of his free hand running up and down your side, the pain was overwhelmed by pure pleasure.

Loki released your nipple and sucked on the sensitive skin of your breast before pulling away slightly,  
“How badly do you want me?” he asked, more forcefully this time.  Between the muddled thoughts in your head, and the sharp gasps and moans that escaped your lips, you somehow managed to put a semi-intelligible sentence together,  
“Yes! Oh God, I want you, I want you so badly, please!” You lost your battle with your own hips and bucked up against Loki’s hand, who chuckled at your response. All of a sudden, the friction and presence of Loki’s hand in your lower regions was gone, but replaced quickly with the overwhelming pressure and pleasure of Loki’s large member.

You barely had time to adjust to his size before he began pounding deep into you.  You mind was spinning, and you were overpowered with nothing but pleasure.  It was amazing.  You had never been taken so roughly before, and, while it made you sound like a masochist, you _loved_ it.  One of Loki’s hands moved to stabilise your hips, while the other was used to hold his weight just off of you.  Your mouth fell open and loud moans flew freely, echoing in the large room, and probably all the way down the hall. Loki angled his hips, and pressed as deeply as he could before removing his manhood almost all of the way, and then returning to that same deep place within you.  One of your hands clenched tightly at the bed sheets, the other moved to Loki’s back, and, while you knew it may have hurt, you just couldn’t stop your nails from digging into his flesh. The raven-haired man groaned and hardened his grip on your hips before he harshly pressed his lips to yours.

It was nothing like the kiss from earlier in the night.  This one was filled with deep passion, no, that wasn’t it… It was a primal need for release that had overcome the both of you.  The hand that once held the sheets moved to tangle in Loki’s raven locks while his hand moved from your hips to waist.  You felt his tongue gingerly run across your bottom lip before he forcefully entered your mouth with the pink muscle.  His tongue danced with your own before it moved to explore every crevasse of your mouth, but it wasn’t enough… _You_ needed _more_ … more friction, more of _him_. You wrapped your legs around Loki’s waist, eliminating the need for his hand to steady your waist, so he allowed it to roam your body, which it did, rather greedily.  His hand moved up your side and teased your breast, then caressed your collarbone.  It was overwhelmingly wonderful.   Suddenly the kiss broke, and Loki pinned both of your arms tightly to the bed above your head.  Your body went from being warm and pleasurably comforting to starkly cold, but from this angle, Loki’s thrusts and grinds against your hips sent a far more pleasurable sensation through you. 

The more he rocked against you, the more the muscles in your stomach constricted.  You groaned loudly, thinking it impossible for your muscles to tighten any more than they already had, and you were right. Instead of the surprisingly pleasant pressure in your stomach, there was an uncontrollable wave of pleasure that crashed like waves over your entire body. Arching your back against Loki’s body, you threw your head back, unable to even moan.  Then suddenly your hips bucked upwards wildly as your throat finally came back to life, allowing you to scream Loki’s name.  Loki thrust into your tight core a few more times before his climax ravaged his body, and, for the second time tonight, his hot seed was sent deep into you. 

You lay there, covered in sweat with ragged breathing. Loki finally released your wrists and lay down in the bed next to you, collecting his thoughts and regaining his composure.  After a few moments he turned to you,  
“We’re done…” he whispered into your ear before kissing your temple. “Now get out.” He growled before literally throwing you from his bed.

What did you expect really? Did you expect him to hug and admit his love to you after one night together? Get real… There were dozens of girls he had spent several nights with who he treated far better than you… you here nothing more than a means for release to him.  Nothing more than a whore…  You knew it, as did he. You stood on shaky legs, a painful tingling emerged in your lower regions. You gathered the white robe from the floor and turned to Loki,  
“You may keep the robe,” he said coldly, turning away from you and pulling the sheets over his body.  The lights went out at that moment.  
“Thank you… _Loki_ …” you murmured before turning to leave.


	4. The Offer

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader ~ Chapter 4

_***_   
_What did you expect really? Did you expect him to hug and admit his love to you after one night together? Get real… There were dozens of girls he had spent several nights with who he treated far better than you… you here nothing more than a means for release to him.  Nothing more than a whore…  You knew it, as did he. You stood on shaky legs, a painful tingling emerged in your lower regions. You gathered the white robe from the floor and turned to Loki,_   
_“You may keep the robe,” he said coldly, turning away from you and pulling the sheets over his body.  The lights went out at that moment._   
_“Thank you… Loki…” you murmured before turning to leave._   
_***_

Loki’s POV

Five days passed… Four days had passed since he was last able to relieve his pent up stress… Two days had passed since the sleepless nights had begun… Five days had passed since (Name) had first entered his bed.

He hated it. Never before had a _toy_ had such a profound impact on him… No matter how hard he tried, he could no longer become aroused with any of the other slutty women he was left with.  More often than not it resulted in the whores being battered and bruised… It wasn’t so much the beatings that sat ill with him, more his lack of interest in any other woman.  It had even resulted in outbursts towards some of his closest and well-trusted advisors. 

He sighed irritably. How could _that woman_ , (Name), have such an effect on him? He shut his eyes and remembered back to _that_ night.  What had he found to appealing about her? Was it her smart-ass attitude? Her independent mind, which, on more than one occasion caused her to forget her manners? Or was it simply her feminine and genuine moans? That was one of the things he found unappealing about many of the women; the over acted, over exaggerated moans… It was pitiful… The way she spoke his name suddenly rang in his mind. _“Loki… Loki…”_ He breathed in deeply, the memory of her scent lingered in the air around him, even though it should have dissipated long ago; as well as the feeling of her smooth, soft flesh beneath him…  Just at the mere memory of her he found himself becoming excited, which only served to irritate him more.

Five days… (Name) had just had the last few days to ‘recover’.  An irritating necessity in Loki’s eyes; had Midgardian’s not been so fragile, he would have had her the very next night...  Putting his own emotions aside, Loki knew she would be starting the intense part of her training… A sly smirk pulled at the corners of his lips. Perhaps he would pay the lesson a visit… even if she was still in a group of newbies, at the very least he would find interest in (Name)’s reactions and beautiful screaming voice. The mental images of her calling his name over and over again caused his smirk to turn into a full blown grin.  Yes. That sounded delightful.

***

Your POV

After your night with Loki, you were allowed a few days’ rest, which you were more than grateful for. However, in that time you noticed The Teacher’s mood towards you had become increasingly hostile.  You managed to survive one monster only to be thrown to another…

You lazily opened your eyes.  Another morning of what you had become accustomed to… In ten or so minutes, you would be removed from your bed, taken to a communal shower, allowed eat a sub-par meal, and then onto training… You sighed and rolled over.  You could hear a few of the other girls chattering; apparently they were already awake, and gossiping by the sounds of it.  
“Did you hear? 260483A was beaten so badly that she had to be removed _immediately_.” One said.  The other two girls gasped quietly,  
“Another one already?” the second asked no one in particular.  
“Yeah… Ever since that night with (DD/MM/YY)A, he’s been in a really bad mood…” the first one spoke again.  You tried not to laugh at the ‘name’ you were given.  Absentmindedly your finger trailed over the barcode tattoo.  That was where your name had come from… It was nothing more than your birthday, but that didn’t make it feel any closer to home… In fact it made anyone who called you by those numbers appear cold and uncaring.  Your mind snapped back to reality when the three started talking again,  
“Do you think she did something? I mean… she’s missed a few of the group lessons since then… And The Teacher is treating her _weirdly_ …” the third one finally spoke up.  You rolled your eyes. Even being in one of the darkest situations on earth wouldn’t stop girls from bitching about each other… So much for humanity banding together to rise against a common enemy…

Suddenly the door slammed open, causing you to jump and sit up.  It was one of The Teacher’s assistants; at least it was a slightly happier face to wake up to in the morning, but, not by much… He pointed at you and the three girls who had spent the morning bitching then gestured for you to follow him.  There was an indescribable tightness in your chest.  You took a deep breath and stood before walking towards the tall, slim man; the other three girls following closely behind.

***

So much for knowing your routine… Instead of being taken to the showers, you were immediately taken to the lower levels.  It was a room you had never been in before… It was tiny and bare, the floors were covered in large, grey tiles, and the walls were exposed brick.  There were a few cheap folding-chairs around the edges and in the middle, but they were hardly visible in the dimmed and flickering lights.  There was a door on the opposite side of the room which lead to another room.  A room that was better lit by far, so much so that you could barely see what was in it at all.  Before you had a chance to get any closer to the other room, The Teacher’s assistant stopped you, and the door you had entered through was shut, blocking any hope of escaping back to the safety of the shared room. You were then all ordered to strip.

The other girls seemed to have more of an issue with the orders than you did; perhaps being taken by Loki in such a humiliating and rough way had changed you… You sighed at the sight of the trio’s hesitation and quickly removed the slightly torn beige dress before being allowed to walk into the adjoining room.  All four of you had been in ‘lessons’ since then which meant you were completely naked in front of strangers for hours at a time… You supressed your need to roll your eyes; they were being ridiculous.  Surely they wouldn’t do anything too - - Your eyes widened when you finally reached the other room.  Spending one night with Loki had desensitised you _slightly_ … but not nearly enough for _this_.

The room was starkly white, tiles were everywhere; beneath your feet, on the walls…. It made the room feel cold and sterile.  Surrounding you was several large panels of one-way glass. Your stomach twisted. There were several sex machines and men staggered throughout the centre of the room, all of which were lit by fluorescent lights. There were a few girls who had described this room… The Auction room… It was where Loki offered the services of his girls to members of his staff, security… to _anyone_ who placed the highest bid… It was both for the staff’s amusement, and to train the girls to respond to more than just Loki.  This was only because the raven-haired man would often _‘gift’_ girls to his favourite subordinates, and The Auctions were the only way for Loki to know who they liked. You had to force your legs to remain solid and stop trembling.  These were men who enjoyed playing with the weakness of the women they brought. They enjoyed their pain… their cries… If you remained strong for long enough you would become undesirable to all of them, or, that was your hope at least.

The other three girls staggered into the room, covering their naked shame and trying to hold back the sobs as they came to realise where they were. The Teachers Assistant grabbed one of the trio and hauled her forward to the centre of the room. She was then strapped into an upright table and bombarded with the various machines, toys and men. The sounds coming from the poor girl made you want to break down, and you couldn’t even stand to look at her.  Instead you choose to focus on the eyes of your reflection in the glass.  Your dead, soulless eyes... You wanted to look away, but the echoing screams in the back of your mind forced your eyes forward.  Thankfully the harsh and sudden ringing of bids overpowered the sounds of her loud groans and screams.  There was a digital clock and electronic calculator in the middle of the room which reflected on the glass.  It was tallying the bids, and counting down the remaining time of the ‘show’.  One million was the highest bid possible, but the time ran out before the bidding reached its max. 

Five minutes, the bidding was over and the girl released, stifling sobs and shaking like a leaf.  The name of the highest bidder was then displayed, and she was lifted to her feet and dragged to one of the hidden rooms.  The other two girls with you looked _completely and utterly_ shocked.  Being caught-up in their own little clique had backfired, they knew nothing outside of their own trio, and thus weren’t ready for what was coming… You probably shouldn’t be so fast to critique them… You weren’t entirely sure if you could cope with what was about to happen…

One by one they were taken to the tables and shown off to the bidders; the second girl sold for a higher price, but no way near as much as the third sold for.  There was a nervous twinge in your stomach. How many members of his staff were left? Would any of them actually bid on you? You dearly hoped not… You were snapped out of your daze when a strong, firm hand was placed on your shoulder and you were led and strapped to the table.  Immediately there was a chorus of loud buzzing, even though they hadn’t even started ‘playing’ with you yet… Your resolve faltered and a stifled sob caught in your throat. So much for that… So much for showing strength to get out of the auction… You were about to be sold to the highest bidder… 

Out of the corner of your eyes you saw the masked men who had toyed with the other girls slowly make their way over to you.  You had readied yourself for the tortuous pain of the men and machines intruding within you, but nothing came… You glanced up to the bids, and you couldn’t believe your eyes.  1,000,000… Someone had won already... But just as fast as shock had filled your system, fear and disgust replaced it.  The name of the bidder lit up… It was The Teacher…  No… God no… You were unstrapped from the table and lead to a room, similarly to the other girls, but instead of being carried off, you were more than capable of walking… All that was going through your mind was; why…? Why did it have to be _him_? Of all the people you could have been sold too, why did it have to be _him_!? The thought of having to service such a man disgusted you.  He was cruel, sadistic, irate… you could probably go on for hours about his character faults. 

The man you were escorted by guided you into a small, concrete room without any windows.  You were suddenly thrown onto a rickety bed and left alone in the room.  You hated to admit it, but tears started to fall down your cheeks. Fate really was a cruel bitch. You clung tightly to the stained bed sheets, trying to stop the water in your eyes.  That was when you heard it… The lock on the door opened, and a soft creaking sounded.  You weren’t ready… You weren’t ready to serve him… Cautiously your eyes moved towards the door…

***

Loki’s POV

They were not in the normal room… Loki’s brows furrowed.  Damn that man, what had he done with them?  Loki had known The Teacher was displeased with the actions (Name) had taken against him the other day… but the blundering fool wouldn’t dare mess with the training of the girls... Would he? Just when the raven-haired man was about to give up, he overheard one of the guards mention the auctioning of some newbies… Loki’s eyes narrowed. The bastard wouldn’t _dare_.  Immediately Loki teleported to the only operating hidden bidding rooms, and there she was.

Loki suppressed a growl as he strode forward to The Teacher who was sitting on one of the few available seats near the front in the still room.  The large man bowed his head slightly; Loki didn’t fail to miss the smirk on his face.  In a moment of anger, the raven-haired man grabbed The Teachers throat and pinned him to the nearest wall.  
“Have I not already warned you about touching my toys?” he spat, tightening the hold on the larger man’s neck. His hold on the man’s neck was so tight that it didn’t allow him to reply at all, “all of the whores who have been auctioned off will be discarded.” Just as Loki finished speaking, the buzzers started going off again, only, this time it wasn’t one of the simplistic whores, it was _her_. It was the woman he, for whatever reason, _craved_. When his emerald green eyes moved back to the man beneath his grip, he was enraged even further. A smug grin covered his face.  In an instant Loki knocked The Teacher out, took his electronic bidder and entered the maximum amount.

***

Your POV

You were absolutely speechless when Loki walked in.  The serious look on his face made you ridiculously nervous,  
“My own fast tongue has put me in quite the predicament…” he strolled forward lazily, allowing you enough time to sit up. “If I am to stick to my word, then you will be discarded after I leave…” your eyes widened.  What? What did he just say? You were going to be - - “of course, there _is_ one way for you to escape that horrible fate…” He paused, allowing his eyes to trail over your naked form.  You could barely breathe… Why was he teasing you like this? Could he not see you were about to pass out from the strain and stress? He strode forward until he was directly in front of you.  His strong hand moved under your chin, lifting your gaze to his, “I have a proposition for you, my dear.” A ghost of a smile crept over Loki’s lips. “You will become my personal courtesan…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely sure about this chapter... It's just... I... :/ I wanted to put another chapter between this one and the last one, but I really liked how I wrote this, so I didn't want to get rid of it, but I think I should have because then it would have put more details into some stuff that I've planned to happen, but it would have been a 'filler' chapter, and after waiting so long for an update, I would have felt guilty for doing that.... >.


	5. The Mark

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 5

 _***_  
“of course, there is one way for you to escape that horrible fate…” He paused, allowing his eyes to trail over your naked form.  You could barely breathe… Why was he teasing you like this? Could he not see you were about to pass out from the strain and stress? He strode forward until he was directly in front of you.  His strong hand moved under your chin, lifting your gaze to his, “I have a proposition for you, my dear.” A ghost of a smile crept over Loki’s lips. “You will become my personal courtesan…”   
***

His personal… what? Your mouth fell open slightly, unsure how to respond.    
“W…What? I-I don’t understand… Why would I be discarded…?” You were pretty sure that wasn’t what Loki wanted to hear… One of Loki’s brows rose,   
“The correct response would be yes Sir.” He said seriously.  “But I’ll answer your question nevertheless.  I don’t like sharing my playthings, especially when I have yet to taste them to their entirety…” He half laughed after thinking for a little while, “But I suppose my phrasing earlier _was_ a little wrong.  You don’t actually have a choice in the matter love, you _will_ be my Courtesan…” his hold on your chin tightened. “Do you understand?” the pain shooting through your jaw caused tears to spring to the corners of your eyes. What could you do?  He would take you no matter what you said or did… If you complied, then maybe, just maybe, he would be kinder… You forced the pain in your face to the back of your mind, just like you had been taught, and nodded.   
“I understand…” you muttered, your voice slightly muffled by his hand.  The smile on his face was unnerving.   
“Good girl.” His hand slowly made its way to your neck.  He guided you to lay down the bed, but just like many things today you didn’t actually have a choice in the matter; the pressure of his grasp _forced_ you to lie down.  Oh God… Here we go again… Loki’s free hand moved from your thigh, up your side, finally coming to rest just below your breast. “This may hurt a little pet…”   
“Wha-,” you were suddenly unable to move or speak and it was becoming difficult to breathe. 

You gasped for breath and attempted to struggle beneath the invisible weight, but the more you tried to move, the heavier the pressure all over your body became.  It was unbearable… If you moved, you were crushed, but if you didn’t, you left yourself completely defenceless…  Loki’s teeth gently grazed against your neck.   
“Hold still.” The serious tone in his voice forced you to obey his order… but when you realised what was happening, you really wished you hadn’t.

He grabbed your wrist and gently trailed his fingers over the barcode tattoo.  Had you been capable of moving, you were sure you would have been trembling.  Suddenly intense burning pain shot through your arm, you tried to pull away, but whatever it was that held you down stopped that.  You couldn’t bear to look.  The feeling of the skin burning was too much to take, you were sure that if you looked it would only make you pass out, or burst out crying.  Neither of which you wanted.  The scent of burning flesh reached your nose, which only served to intensify the pain in your arm. There was a sudden change in the temperature of your wrist.  Instead of severe heat, there was bitter coldness… You finally gathered enough courage to look at what Loki was doing to you. 

The barcode was completely gone, replaced with bright red and tender flesh.  You weren’t sure what was generating the cold feeling, but his fingers were colder than ice, which helped to soothe the raw throbbing.   
“H-How did you…” Your voice was barely above a whisper due to the lack of air and trembling lips. Loki smirked,   
“Magic my dear…” he removed his hands from your wrist, and you thought he would release you completely... But you couldn’t be more wrong.

Your head was turned to the right by the invisible force, exposing the left side of your neck fully to Loki.  Your breathing began to quicken as his fingers trailed over your neck.    
“Tell me my dear... have you ever seen my sign? The Nordic mythology of Midgard had a rather accurate representation of it...” his fingertip moved in a figure-eight shape, sending goose bumps all over your skin.    
“I-I think so...” you murmured.  Loki grinned,   
“Good...” He said as the burning returned once more as he traced- no, as he _burned_ the intricate design into the skin of your neck. 

This was far more painful than before… The scent, the pain… even the sound of singing flesh was there. You couldn’t take it.  You couldn’t help but try to pull away… You had to get away from the pain,   
“If you want me to burn straight through your trachea then continue moving.  If you want to live then I would advise you remain still…” Loki growled, shooting you a menacing glare.  Though tears began to fall down your cheeks, you complied.  Ignore the pain… It isn’t there.  Your eyes closed as more tears cascaded downwards.  Go somewhere else… Somewhere without pain… but again the temperature change shocked you, forcing your eyes open and leaving you gasping for air.

The pressure on your body that forced you to lay still was removed with a simple wave of Loki’s hand.  He to removed his presence from above you and straightened out his slightly rumpled clothes.  Pain still lingered in both your wrist and neck, but you pushed through it to sit up.  That was a mistake.  Instantly dizziness overtook you and you fell back down to the stiff mattress.  Because of how you landed, and the sudden jerking movement, the pain in your neck and wrist intensified tenfold.  A choked sob left your throat for the first time since the whole ordeal began.  Loki clicked his tongue and rand a hand through his raven locks.   
“Mortals are _far_ too fragile...” he murmured as the creaking hinges on the door sounded again. Loki moved back towards the door and started speaking with someone.  You didn’t know who it was or what they were talking about, but you could _feel_ the unknown person’s eyes all over you.  It made you feel dirty... A knot formed in your stomach.  You attempted to sit up again, this time was slightly more successful because you chose to rest on your elbows. 

Your (e/c) eyes scanned the doorway... you couldn’t believe who it was.  Your hands began to tremble and you were rendered completely speechless, though, it wasn’t like you were going to actually say anything in the first place.  It was The Teacher; he looked dishevelled, his nose was bloodied and had trickled down to colour his teeth an off pink colour.  What was he doing here...?   
“I paid for her, it was under your own orders that no one could take away a paid for item...” The Teacher growled.  Loki glanced over his shoulder to you. Was he really going to give you to him? You could feel your heartbeat in your neck.  It hurt, but there was a far more urgent matter at hand.  Loki’s gaze moved back to The Teacher,   
“There are always people who try to poach my toys, so I also made sure to say that specially marked girls cannot be given to anyone, unless ordered otherwise...” the anger and irritation in Loki’s tone made you want to shrink away into the corner and hide.  The Teacher’s eyes widened for a moment before moving to you.  That’s when he noticed the mark on your neck.  “You will be reimbursed of course...” Loki said, stepping into The Teachers line of sight, blocking his view of you.   
“You’re a sly man _Sir_...” the annoyance in his voice was evident, but Loki let it slide and allowed The Teacher to leave.  A relieved sigh left your lips when Loki shut the door, which earned a low chuckle from the raven haired man as he began to walk back over to you. 

All of a sudden you felt too exposed to him. You tried to shrink back and cover yourself with your arms, but when he reached you, he made sure there was nothing blocking his way.   
“I won’t take you right now Pet...” he said, tracing the area around your new mark. You clenched the sheets of the bed tightly, trying to stop the pained cries from leaving your throat. “I have important business to attend to... Would you care to join me?” His finger moved down your chest to the tip of your breast.   
“Y-Yes Sir...” you replied.  _Anywhere_ would be better than where you were... 


	6. Jealous?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just letting my dear Reader-chan's know, I've been temporarily suspended from deviantart for constantly posting lemons onto their site. Needless to say that when the ban is over, I'll go back to it, but this is the site I'll be posting the "Original" version of everything too. The "censored" version will be posted to Devi once the ban is over (in just under three weeks).
> 
> If you know anyone who usually reads this series on devi, please let them know that the updates will be posted on here until I'm able to return to deviantart.

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 6

 _***_  
You clenched the sheets of the bed tightly, trying to stop the pained cries from leaving your throat. “I have important business to attend to... Would you care to join me?” His finger moved down your chest to the tip of your breast.   
“Y-Yes Sir...” you replied.  Anywhere would be better than where you were...   
***

You were given a short, emerald green and jet black silk robe to wear in place of the nothingness you were left with after the auction.  Of course underwear wasn’t an option in the slightest, which left you feeling completely and utterly exposed...  You had also been ordered to wear your hair up to ensure everyone saw your new mark. 

Supressing a sigh you looked yourself over once last time in the mirror.  Your hair was tightly pulled back into the highest pony tail you could manage, which only helped to deepen the shadows of the bones poking through your (adj.) skin.  Three weeks without a proper meal and daily torture had ravaged your body worse than you had thought...  The dark circles underneath your eyes made you look like a lifeless zombie, and the finishing touch to your look? A painful, bright red burn mark on your neck; it was of two serpents, interlocked and devouring their tails; _Loki’s_ symbol.  You really wished you had been allowed to bandage the mark on your neck as you had the one on your wrist, but he wanted to show _it_ and _you_ off to everyone.  You moved closer to the mirror and cautiously prodded the area around the red mark, instantly pain shot through your neck to your temple.  Okay... maybe that wasn’t the best idea...

You leaned on the basin and closed your eyes. Loki had brought you back to his room and given you time to change while he went off to arrange everything for the rest of the day, but you didn’t want to go back to him. You just wanted to lock yourself in the bathroom and not come out ever again... A sharp knock at the door made you jump, and put any hope to disappear to rest.   
“Come now pet, surely it doesn’t take you _this_ long all the time...” Loki called. A cold shiver ran up your spine and you sighed softly before leaving the security of the bathroom to join your _Master_.  That was rule number one.  You were to always call the raven haired man Master, unless told otherwise...

When you opened the door the first thing you noticed was that Loki had changed his clothes into casual business attire.  The long coat and scarf, which he wore like a tie, seemed to fill out his frame more than anything you had ever seen him in.    
“You will follow behind me silently.  You will not speak unless spoken to, and you will not pay any attention to advances made by anyone other than myself.” He smirked at the last part of the sentence. “Do you understand?” You bit your lower lip and nodded,   
“Yes, Master...” your voice was slightly hoarse and caused a dry burning to flare up at the back of your throat.   
“Good girl,” he said, tucking the few stray strands of (h/c) hair behind your ear before moving towards the door.  You followed behind Loki as he made his way to the meeting room.

***

You walked in a hurried pace down the halls.  Loki’s strides far outmatched your own, which meant if you weren’t careful, you would end up several metres behind the raven haired man and be at the mercy of whoever was walking down the hallway. There were a few people who walked passed that set your nerves off and you unintentionally latched onto Loki’s coat.  Your presence didn’t bother him at all, and he just continued on his way without paying your actions any mind.  You weren’t entirely how you felt about it though... Did he actually care about your safety? Was he enjoying your frazzled state? You stopped yourself from crossing your arms and sighing irritably; he definitely wouldn’t have forgiven or overlooked that.  You had been so engrossed with controlling your own emotions and actions that you didn’t even notice when you entered the meeting room.

The room the meeting was held in was already filled by the time you had arrived.  There were men in suits sitting around a large table - - These were the men... These were the men who saw an opportunity to jump on Loki’s band wagon after New York and left the rest of mankind to rot while they lined their pockets and stroked their own egos.  Most of them were old men who were starved for female attention, so when you walked in the door you could feel their growing need fill the air. It made you want to puke, whether it was because of their actions regarding mankind, or because of their drooling faces, you didn’t know.  You just kept your head down and followed behind the raven haired man to his seat. 

Loki sat down on a chair at the head of the table and you stood behind him, however that lasted only a few moments.  Once he was bombarded with questions you could see his agitation rising, and before long he pulled you onto his lap to calm his tense emotions.  His hand ran through your hair as he spoke to the other people in the room.  From your position on Loki’s lap you were able to see everyone perfectly, even the few stray women who, compared to the business men, seemed out of place, as well as a few younger people who looked like they would fit in on an espionage mission.   
“And yet you have still to find the rest of the blundering fools.” Loki’s voice snapped you out of your daze.  Your (e/c) eyes moved to The God of Mischief.  His eyes were as cold as ice and his expression stony and demanded respect.  As much as you were conflicted about admitting it; Loki truly looked like a king... “Tell me Barnes, do you think me a _fool_?” Initially you weren’t sure who he was talking too, but then the entire room turned towards one menacing looking young man with shoulder length brown hair.  He didn’t respond.  A cold tremor ran down your spine when his chocolate brown eyes moved to Loki.   
“No Sir...” he said, almost robotically.    
“Then you would have me actually believe that HYDRA’s _best_ cannot find the rest of them, even with all of my resources freely available?” The raven haired man growled.  Hydra...? Like the five headed serpent from Greek mythology...? “When I conquered New York and your organisation came to me, our agreement was that you would aid in the capture of The Avengers, after that you would take the countries you wished and you would stay out of my way.  So far you haven’t done a single thing.”   
“T-That’s not true Sir.” One of the chubby, grey haired men stuttered.  “Thor was captured successfully.” Loki scoffed,   
“That was due to his own incompetence; and I would remind you that it was accomplished _without_ the assistance of _any_ members of HYDRA.” The poison in Loki’s tone was evident, and made you want to crawl under the table and hide.  However the firm hold he had on you prevented any further thought of running away.  The chubby, grey haired man who had the balls to disagree with Loki quickly found his place and chose to keep his mouth shut. 

Loki was the one who broke the silence that had befallen the room.   
“What of the rebellions in England and Germany?” he asked hotly, his hand gently trailed over the curve of your hip.    
“The leaders were found and... _dealt_ with accordingly.” One voice said.  A folder filled with numerous papers was slid towards Loki.  The raven haired man gently nipped your earlobe.   
“Would you pass me the folder pet?” he asked.  You quickly reached over and retrieved the folder before handing it over to Loki.  When he opened the cover, you swear you were going to throw up.

Images of bloodies and mangled corpses were attached to several pages.  You wanted so desperately to look away, but you just couldn’t force your eyes to move.  One particularly gory image of a woman with her chest and stomach sawed open made bile rise in the back of your throat.  Loki chuckled softly and threw the folder back on the table.   
“Well at least I know you can do _one_ thing correctly...” the raven haired man said while pulling you to rest against him.  “Now, onto some other business...”

***

You were more than thankful when the meeting finally finished.  The mental images and knowledge you were left with made you fatigued and weak; so much so that you could barely stand as you were led down a hallway.  You gazed out a window as you passed.  The sun was just going down.  Damn... The morning had passed so quickly and after the trauma from earlier on, you had completely lost track of time.  Suddenly a rich, meaty scent found your nose and caused your stomach to rumble uncontrollably.  Food... Food sounded so good at that moment.  You were living on the bare minimum for several weeks, and hadn’t actually eaten at all today.  You came to a slow stop in front of what looked to be a kitchen and just stared into it, your mind in a complete daze, and your body not responding to any order you could manage to muster. 

You heard footsteps getting louder, but you couldn’t pull your focus away from the thought of a real meal.  However, when you felt a hand gingerly run through your pony tail, you forced your mind back into reality.   
“Come now pet-,” Loki abruptly stopped speaking and jerked your hair downwards.  Pain radiated from both your scalp and your neck.  Loki then lowered himself to your level, “I did not say you could stop, did I?” he whispered darkly.  You quickly shook your head.   
“N-No Sir...” you replied, only to have his hold on your hair tighten,   
“Try again.” He stood up straight and eyed you harshly.   
“No, _Master_ , you didn’t...” you grit your teeth and hoped that was the answer he wanted.  Much to your relief, it was.  Loki released you and wrapped his arm around your waist as guided you to an unknown room...

Well, that wasn’t quite correct.  Once you entered the room, you knew _exactly_ where you were; _The Club_.  You had walked through it several times coming from and going to certain ‘lessons’.  In those short moments of seeing what happened in the front and the back rooms, you had come to realise that The Club was probably one of the best places you could end up.  The girls actually had a choice, they could dance, serve or service, and the thought of actually having a say over who could touch your body sounded _heavenly_ , even though it was a basic right before Loki had taken over Earth. 

You mentally sighed and took in the familiar surroundings.  It was dark and the air was filled with smoke or fog, you never quite knew which, but it made your vision hazy.  The room had a deep red hue to everything the lights touched and there were several stages with dancing girls and dozens of tables and chairs surrounding them.  Men in dishevelled work uniforms and business suits sat in the chairs dolling out their cash to the girls who so freely gave their affections.  It wasn’t until Loki urged you forward that you realised you had stopped moving. 

You stumbled through the room, guided by a surprisingly chipper looking Loki, until you came to a cordoned off area directly in front of the large, empty stage.  A table and a single seat were waiting for Loki, and from that point on his mood shifted to a darker, more seductive and overall aroused God of Mischief.  Just bear with it... Being with him is _slightly_ better than just answering to his beckon call... Just bear with it.   It was then that the stage lit up for the first time and several girls stepped out to occupy different areas of it.  The raven haired man sat down, completely transfixed by the dancing girls.  You kept your gaze low and stayed standing behind your Master, just off to his right.  You inadvertently shuddered.  He was your _master_ … no matter how many times you were forced to say it, you would never become accustomed to it; but, even if you didn’t like it you had to accept it…

You noticed one of the girls who were serving drinks to a group of men become excited before she quickly made her way over to you and Loki.    
“Is there anything I can do for you _Sir_?” she asked in an irritatingly high pitched voice as she graciously draped herself over the raven haired man.  He smiled widely and breathed in the scent of the woman,   
“No my dear, not tonight...” he gently nipped at the girl’s neck,   
“Not even your usual service?” she asked while moving to straddle Loki’s hips.  “I’ve learnt a few new tricks, _Sir_...” she rolled her hips forward, causing the short skirt to rise higher on her thighs.   
“No, I have a new toy to play with...” he said with a smirk as his green eyes moved to you.  The girl pouted while gently twirling Loki’s raven hair between her fingers,   
“Okay...” she glanced over to you for a moment before returning her amber eyes to the raven haired man, “but if you break her, promise you’ll call for me?” Loki laughed at her question.  He _actually_ laughed! You couldn’t believe either of them would talk about you becoming seriously injured so easily!   
“Very well then, but I don’t plan on breaking this one...” he said, running a hand up her thigh.  The girl giggled before removing herself from Loki.   
“That’s what you always say.” She said as she walked away.  A nervous knot formed in your stomach.  Not because of her words or tone, no... It was because of the deathly glare she gave you as she said them.  “You could learn a few things from her, (Name)...” Loki said, gesturing for you to move closer.   
“Oh yeah, like what?” you spat back without thinking. Shit.  Loki’s amused smile dropped almost instantly.  Damn it! Why could you control certain outbursts, but not when it really counted?! You looked down and moved closer as he had asked.  He pulled you onto his lap,  
“I will forgive your talking back at the moment, simply because _she_ makes me far too happy to punish you.” He muttered huskily as his fingers gently ran through your hair.  Immediately you could tell his attention wasn’t on you; it was on the girl on the raised platform in front of you.

The girls hips swayed to the rhythm of the music and she, more than once, took long glances at the raven haired man and licked her lips.  In that moment you weren’t sure how you felt… Loki was controlling, violent and had made you his personal sex toy… So why did it bother you so much when his attentions were focused on another girl…? Why was his obvious affection for the unknown woman making you feel nauseas? You bit your lower lip as you watched the girl dance.  Her full curves sat on a perfectly thin frame, her sparklingly seductive eyes entranced anyone who met her gaze, her hair bobbed and swayed in the air with the utmost grace… she was _perfect_ … It made you question the intentions of your _Master_.  Loki could have any of the girls who were under his control, what would stop him from dumping you for her? If he preferred her so much more, than why hadn’t he?! The raven haired man leaned closer to your ear,   
“Jealous are we?” he whispered with a smirk.  You shifted awkwardly in his lap.  Were you jealous…? The tightness in your chest and distaste for the unknown woman certainly made it feel that way.    
“No…” you replied.  Loki stifled a chuckle before pulling you to rest your head on his shoulder.    
“Don’t worry my dear...” he gently grabbed your wrist and forced your fingertips to gingerly trail over the hardening bulge in his pants.  “She may have the physicality, but you are far more intriguing... even if you forget your manners sometimes...” Your eyes widened as he slipped your hand into his pants and made you stoke his twitching manhood.  It had been only a few days since he had taken you, but in that time you had already forgotten his formidable size. 

A soft twinge of pain shot through your neck when Loki leaned forward and kissed the burn mark.    
“Make me cum Pet...” he whispered huskily.  You hated to admit it, but his request made you shudder with anticipation, you _wanted_ him to take you.  As much as you despised him, he had a way with... well... _everything,_ words, actions... _everything_.  Following his request, you took his member into your hand; a low groan escaped his lips as you slowly began to pump his hardening erection.  His hands slowly ran over your silk covered breasts before he began to pinch, twist and tease the hardening buds of your nipples.  One hand moved to your cheek and turned your face to your lips met with Loki’s in a heated kiss. 

It was all too much, even _without_ him touching you... Your hips gently rocked in time with every draw of his member, but the pressure of your legs wasn’t enough.  You wanted, no, _needed_ more friction.  Loki’s hand moved from your breast to gently trail over your slick womanhood.  Just that soft touch was enough to force a moan from your throat.  You felt him smirk in the kiss before pulling away slightly.   
“My, my...” he murmured as removed his fingertips from your wetness before slowly trailing his tongue over your juices. “I never thought I affected you so easily...” his wet fingers trailed back down your side before finding and entering your wet slit.  “Tell me, do you want me to fuck you?” he asked, gently nipping at your earlobe.  Your fingers clenched his shirt and member tightly as a moan caught in your throat.  One finger fully entered you, followed by a second and third… You buried your head in his neck and took quick, steadying breaths in place of loud groans, but Loki wasn’t pleased by that… His free hand lifted your face from his shoulder. “I want to hear you…” one of his fingers trailed over your trembling lips, coaxing them to open more.  A stifled groan caught in your throat as one of the managers quickly made his way over to you and Loki,   
“Sir… would you prefer one of the rooms in the back?” the attendant hurriedly asked. The raven haired man shook his head with an amused smirk as the first real moan left your lips.   
“No, here will do just fine.” Your hips rolled against his skilled hand.  Damn him… was he really going to fuck you in front of everyone?! The manager nodded and left you both alone, though, you were sure he and many other people were watching you...

You hated yourself for wanting Loki so badly, but you couldn’t stop.  Soft mewls left your lips as his hand once again found your clit.   
“Come now pet, don’t make me go wanting...” he growled almost menacingly as he used his free hand to force your hand to resume its pumping movement.  The combined feeling of his fingers within you and the strong hardness of his erection sent you completely mad.   You could feel your wanting wetness seeping through his fingers and trail down your legs.  The heat between you and Loki was growing steadily... At the rate you were going, you wouldn’t last very long against him. You gasped loudly and bucked your hips forward as his fingers twisted and curled to hit the sweet spot within you.

You had guessed that Loki had lost interest in playing with you, because the next thing you knew he had shifted you around to straddle on his lap.  Your slick entrance was barely an inch from his hard manhood, and instantly you wanted to throw yourself down onto his large member, but, as he still had his pants on, it wasn’t an option straight away.  Loki’s hands fumbled with the buttons and zipper of his pants before he gently pulled you down onto his manhood, much to your relief and pleasure.  However, the initial shocks of having him enter you for the first time in days caused a loud moan to escape your lips.    
“Forgive me my dear... I said I wouldn’t take you tonight...” Loki’s hands found your hips and forced you to bounce and rock on his member.  “But I just can’t help myself...” More moans began to catch in your throat, but, not wanting to draw any more attention that you already had, you forced them to stay down.  You threw your head back as the raven haired man’s hips began to buck upwards to meet your own, causing the robe you were wearing to open.  Loki leaned forward and took your hardened nipple into his mouth and wrapped his arms around you to hold you in place as he continued to thrust into you.  Your fingers tangled in his raven locks as you were completely consumed by the pleasure he was giving you. 

Suddenly Loki scooped you up into his arms and laid you down on the table before continuing to pound into you.  The change of position caused jolts of pleasure to travel through your core.  You had long since lost control of your ability to stifle your moans, and you didn’t care.  You didn’t care that your wanton groans overtook the thumping bass of the music, and you didn’t care if the men in the area were getting off to you.  The excitement and thrill of being taken in such a public place was the only thought in your mind.  You really didn’t think you were the kind of person who needed or wanted adrenaline rushes, but after this, you may have to reconsider your thoughts on adrenaline junkies...

Loki pinned your arms to the table with one hand and angled your hips in a different direction, allowing him easier access to your womanhood.  The sound of the table hitting the stage distracted one of the dancers who became entranced with the vision of an aroused Loki.  It irked you a little to begin with, and when Loki turned to the girl, licked his lips and winked, you became completely enraged.  How is it Loki could- - No. Just stop expecting your presence to mean something.  You were there to be his toy; nothing more, nothing less.  You were to be used and fucked till his heart’s content.  Loki’s thrusts quickened and reached a new depth within you.  Lost in your own stupor you hadn’t realised you had turned your head away from the raven haired man.  His hand tightly clutched your jaw and forced your gaze back to him.   
“Did I say you could look away?” he asked darkly, his movement within you slowed to an excruciatingly slow pace.  You just couldn’t help yourself...   
“Well because you found eye candy, I assumed I could do the same.” You spat back bitterly.  Your retort caught the God of Mischief off guard but quickly enough his lips contorted into a sly smirk.   
“You’re a selfish little whore aren’t you?” his hand skimmed up your body, sending a wave of Goosebumps over your skin, “since you want my attention so badly...” his fingers suddenly closed around your neck and hauled you to sit up. The pain from the pressure and the burn on your neck caused you to whimper aloud, “then you’ve got it.” He snarled before resuming his fast and deep pace.

You could barely breathe, and the constant movement from Loki sent sharp jabs of pain through your body, but you hardly felt the torment your body was going through.  The traction and tension within your nether regions was overwhelming everything else.  The heat radiating from Loki’s body entered you slowly and made the muscles of your stomach clench tighter and tighter.  You were so close.  A sharp gasp left your lips as Loki used his body to press you back onto the table, enabling him to ride you deeper and harder.  Your legs hooked around his waist, pulling him tighter against your body as your body screamed for release.   
“Cum for me pet...” he moaned, “say my name,” he ordered breathlessly,   
“Loki,” you moaned,   
“Louder,” Loki’s hands moved to your breast and support thigh.   
“Loki! Loki! Loki!” you called over and over again.  The sounds of your own voice mixed with the groans coming from the man above of you finally sent you over the edge.  For a moment your vision blurred and your muscles constricted around Loki’s twitching member as he rode out your climax.  It took barely a second of pressure from your inner walls to bring his orgasm crashing down upon him.  The raven haired man continued to slowly thrust into you until he was sure every last drop of his seed was inside of you before slowly pulling out and taking a moment to admire his work.

Loki stepped back and fastened his pants and belt before retying your robe.  He then pulled you back onto his lap as he sat back down on the chair and returned to admire the dancing women.  You were completely spent.  Your head rested on the raven haired man’s shoulder as his arm lazily draped over you.    
“Sleep pet...” Loki wasn’t looking at you, instead his eyes were focused on that one dancing girl from before, but the soft kindness in his voice made your heart flutter for just a moment and put you completely at ease.  You felt your eyes begin to close.  The stress of the morning mixed with the energy you had just spent caused you to slip into a dreamless sleep, still wrapped in Loki’s strong arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read the note at the top, then you know I've been temporarily suspended from deviantart, which means I'll be relying on this site for comments and whatnot about the chapters I post. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think! I love reading all of the comments people post!


	7. Music Calms Even the Angriest Loki

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 7

_***_  
“Sleep pet...” Loki wasn’t looking at you, instead his eyes were focused on that one dancing girl from before, but the soft kindness in his voice made your heart flutter for just a moment and put you completely at ease.  You felt your eyes begin to close.  The stress of the morning mixed with the energy you had just spent caused you to slip into a dreamless sleep, still wrapped in Loki’s strong arms.  
***

You weren’t sure if it was a dream or not... You couldn’t be sure if your eyes were open or closed... The exhaustion that ran through your body certainly made it feel like you were awake... But there was a blur and haze to your vision which made you doubt that it was reality.  You slowly reached up to trace the line of your eyelids.  Yes... you were definitely awake... You tried to sit up, but the heaviness of the blankets wrapped around your body mixed with the dizziness that sent the room into a spin stopped you.  An arm suddenly snaked around you and pulled you tightly against the familiar muscular chest.  Loki.   
“I have already told you to sleep pet.” He growled, clearly irritated from being woken up. “If you wake me again, you will sleep on the floor.” You glanced over to his green eyes that seemed to glow in the dim light.  They were sleep-heavy and showed for a moment an innocent weakness in his eyes, you weren’t used to seeing him like that at all... Suddenly his eyes sharpened and darkened, causing you to jump slightly.  You bit back the scared whimper that had built in your throat and nodded.   
“I’m sorry...” you voice was raspy and brought an itch to your throat that just wouldn’t go away.  Loki closed his eyes and loosened his grip slightly.  You rolled over and tried to forget about the pain in your throat and the intense emptiness in your stomach...

You laid there for several minutes, trying to force the itching in your throat to go away, but nothing would work... You gripped your throat to stop the dry coughs that threatened to escape, and just when you thought you couldn’t hold the coughs back anymore, Loki’s arm slinked around you once more and tightened around you as you were slowly enveloped in a green light.   
“Now will you _stop_ squirming?” he growled as the irritation in your throat began to slip away.  You nodded. “Good...”

With the irritation in your throat gone, you were able to spend what remained of your energy to stop the growling in your stomach which, to your surprise, was easier than you first thought.  Just as you began to drift off, you could have sworn you heard the faintest sounds of music... No... It couldn’t be, not in a place like _this_... It must have been your mind playing a trick on you...

***

The next morning you were awoken by the gentle tickle of your hair brushing across your cheek.  Your (e/c) eyes cracked open and you looked up, thinking a window had been left open, but no...  Your head was in Loki’s lap, and his fingers were tangling mindlessly in your hair as he talked casually with someone in the room.  It was an unfamiliar feeling... Lying like you were, it made you almost feel like you were - - no... that’s ridiculous. It was then that he noticed you had woken-up; he gestured for the other person to leave before turning his attentions to you.   
“My dear, now that you’re _finally_ awake, what do you think we should do today? I’ve cleared my schedule for today,” the smirk playing on his lips made you nervous... “This _is_ what you wanted, isn’t it _pet_?” Your mouth fell open slightly, but you didn’t know how to respond... You were absolutely tongue tied.    
“I...” was all you could manage before Loki leaned down and forced his tongue into your mouth.

It was forcefully pleasurable.  You didn’t want him to kiss you to begin with, but the more his lips and skilled tongue danced with your own, the more you wanted from him.  His hands began to roam your still awakening body and gently teased your flesh.  When he pulled away, a soft, wanting moan escaped your lips.  Loki grinned at your reactions.   
“I’ve only one day with you before-,” the raven haired man stopped and looked towards the door. Before... before what?  Your own anxiety made a knot form in your stomach and tightness to build in your chest.  A soft knock at the door made you jump and the man that entered shortly after looked absolutely terrified, clearly aware that Loki hated being interrupted.   
“I’m sorry sir, but the council requires your presence... immediately...” the poor man kept his gaze low, and quickly exited the room once the message was relayed.  Loki sighed irritably and lifted your head from his lap so you were sitting straight.   
“You will remain here, _exactly like this_ , until I return.” He said as he slipped his jacket on before leaving you alone in the room. 

***

The silence of the room gnawed at your mind.  You were too afraid to breathe, let alone move.  However, that didn’t stop your mind from racing.  What had he tried to say before being interrupted?  He only had a day with you before - - what? Before you were to be sent back to the other girls? Before you were given to other members of his staff? Before you were to be discarded? What?! Your ‘tranquil’ silence was broken from the sounds of sex coming from the room below you, which didn’t help to soothe your restless mind, and when screaming moans from the room below you completely took over, you couldn’t take it anymore.  You had to get up and do _something_ , but the warning from Loki rang in your mind.  _Stay exactly where you are_. _Don’t move_... Your brows furrowed, you had to stop being so foolish. You could just return to where Loki had left you before he returned.  You rolled your eyes for acting like such a terrified idiot and removed yourself from the bed.

You moved around the room without even thinking where you were going.  You played with the few knick-knacks that Loki had around the room, picked at a small platter of breakfast foods that had been left, you presumed for you, and, eventually, wound up on the daybed, nibbling on a sweet apple pastry while looking into the hologram of New York.  You weren’t sure how long Loki had been away, and as you looked into a past that could never return, you found yourself caring less and less.  You didn’t care if he came back and found you - - _actually_ , yes you did... You were about to take another bite of the pastry when you realised something... Something sad and pitiful; you realised that fear was going to be a part of your life from now until the day you died... You were sure tears were about to fall down your cheeks, but something stopped them.  Music... the same music you had thought you were imagining last night. 

It had been far too long since you heard the sound of sweet, peaceful music... You closed your eyes and took several deep, steadying breaths.  The entrancing melody of the harp and the soft guitar plucking... it was _magical_.  You slowly began to sway in your seat and hum to the music, and, before you knew it you had been transported back to your life before Loki had taken over.  You were at home, surrounded by friends, and acting like the totally maniacs you were.  The visions of your friends smiling faces within your mind made your heart ache with such ferocity you were sure it was going to burst right out of your chest.  You lay back on the daybed and tried not to let the tears slip from your eyes as you began to softly sing along with the melody, you knew you weren’t a world class singer, but you just couldn’t stop yourself...

It wasn’t a happy song, and yet it wasn’t a sad song either.  It was a song of love, like so many were, and, like everything, was completely open to interpretation, but the more you mulled over the meaning of the lyrics, the louder you began to sing.  You were still aware of the rooms and people around you, but... something just clicked.  The switch in the back of your mind that stopped you acting like yourself was turned off, and you felt like your old self, if only for a short moment. 

Suddenly the door handle clicked and turned, you immediately stopped singing.  Damn it.  Was he returning already?! You sat up as quickly as you could when you heard him enter the room.  His usually cold and stern green eyes were glazed over, almost as if he was in some kind of dream state.  However, when he realised where you were, the dark seeded anger returned to his features.  You had disobeyed him, and how you were going to pay...

**_*Loki’s POV*_ **

Loki cursed his useless staff all to Helheim.  They drag him away from his toy when he had less than a day to play with her before leaving?  How _dare_ them! They had no manners, or working minds for that matter. He had specifically told them to leave him be for _one_ day, but they couldn’t even manage that! He grit his teeth and clenched his fists tightly, perhaps one last bout of pleasure with (Name) would settle his mind. 

The meeting had unsettled him to say the least... The Teacher had ‘accidentally’ killed a few of the girls after their altercation yesterday, and, though Loki wanted to remove him from his post, he couldn’t.   That damned man never taught any one apprentice everything, so no one could take over if he was removed.  Loki raked his hand through his hair.  And the quivering group Thor _claimed_ to be a part of had reared its ugly head again and attempted to ‘free’ one of the colonies that had been set up.  Useless, they were all useless! As the raven haired man made his way down the empty hallway, he made a mental note to see to the destruction of the irritating instruments that the whorish floozies in the staff’s quarters played when they grew bored.  However, all of his anger and irritation began to slip away.  It wasn’t just that repetitive melody anymore... It was a voice; hushed and uncertain, but beautiful none the less.   
“ _The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out  
You left me in the dark  
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight  
In the shadow of your heart  
_ _And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat_  
I tried to find the sound  
But then it stopped and I was in the darkness  
So darkness I became...” The song continued, but the only thing Loki could hear was the angelic hum of the voice, the lyrics not mattering at all to him.

It was only when he reached his bedroom door that he realised where the voice was coming from.  It was _her_.  It was his plaything that had the calmingly hypnotic voice... Quickly he opened the door, a little faster and harder than he intended, causing her to immediately stop singing and sit up from her place on the bed.  He wasn’t quite sure what made his stomach clench.  Was it the fact that the melody continued without (Name)’s voice to guide it? Was it the fact that she had moved from the place he had told her to stay? Or could it have been the terrified look that had crossed her features?  Loki mentally slapped himself. It didn’t matter, he was back and could play with her some more... but... was that what he actually wanted?  Damn his mind.  Just focus.  Slowly he made his way forward, towards (Name), towards his toy.

**_*Your POV*_ **

Loki was standing directly in front of you, and you could do nothing but focus on the floor underneath his feet.  You felt his hand slowly run through your hair.   
“I told you to stay where you were...” he warned in a low growl, his hold on your hair tightening slightly.  “However, you should count yourself lucky.  I haven’t the time to punish you _and_ play with you.” Cautiously you looked up, unsure what he was implying. Your eyes or face must have given away your uncertainty because Loki sighed softly before continuing. “Several days ago I scheduled a trip to one of the many colonies the Midgardian’s set up.  I leave in a few hours and, as much as making you suffer would appease me; I don’t want the last image I have of you for the next week to be one covered in blood and screaming.” Your eyes widened.  His idea of punishment made you tremble slightly.  You had been taught to cope with beatings... but not once had they ever drawn a large amount of blood.  The mental pictures made you regret eating the few morsels of food from the platter... He suddenly gripped your jaw and forced your eyes to refocus.  “Do you understand now?” he asked impatiently.   
“Y-yes...” you stuttered.  Lazily his fingers trailed down your neck,   
“Now, my pet, was that you singing?” he asked with an unsettlingly calm smile.  Your throat closed off and stopped you from speaking, but you could see Loki’s patience slowly slipping away, so you did the only thing you could.  You, rather rapidly, nodded your head. “Good, in that case-,” he sat down next to you and pulled you next to him, “you will sing for me...”   
“I... I don’t understand...” you said nervously.  The raven haired man rolled his eyes,   
“It’s a simple request _pet_ , or would you prefer to entertain me in _other_ ways?” he asked with a smirk.    
“But... there’s no music...” you said, noticing that the guitar and harp had died off.  After you finished your sentence, you wanted to face palm.  Why would you argue against a form of ‘entertainment’ that didn’t involve sex!?  You feared how Loki would react...   
“The tower has been self-sustaining since I arrived; Stark’s artificial intelligence, J.A.R.V.I.S., was altered but is still working just as well as the day he left.  Request a song and _sing_...” he ordered, leaning back on the window and closing his eyes.   
“U-um... J.A.R.V.I.S.?” you asked, completely sceptical that you would actually get a reply.  A soft beep was the only thing you were given as a response. Your brows furrowed, was that the answer you were waiting for?   
“I told you it was altered, didn’t I?” Loki said, not even bothering to open his eyes.  His hand moved to gently trail over the mark on your neck.  It was still a little painful, but more tolerable than when you first received the mark.  You gave the AI your song choices, and started singing.

***

Every minute you were forced to serenade Loki, you could feel his gaze on you.  It made you feel far more self-conscious than it should have, and, at times, caused your voice to crack; but... there was something almost _sensual_ about it... You weren’t having your brains fucked out, and you weren’t acting like a whore... It was almost reminiscent of a _normal_ relationship... You mentally chastised yourself.  That was just ridiculous; there was nothing _normal_ about your ‘relationship’ with Loki...

By the time Loki had tired of your singing, the sun was going down and it was time for him to leave.  You still had many questions regarding what would happen while Loki was away.  Would you be forced back into the shared room with the other girls? Would you stay in his room? You bit your lower lip. No... Surely not... The touch of fingers running over your cheek snapped you over your thoughts.   
“Now pet, while I’m gone, you will stay here.  Meals will be brought to you and anything you require will be taken care of by attendants.” Relief washed over you.  You were going to stay in his room... You weren’t going to be in the open and vulnerable to anyone who wanted you. “This is all on the condition that you will not leave this room.” Loki dropped his hand from your cheek.  Your brows furrowed.  That seemed like an odd condition... “You will use J.A.R.V.I.S. to communicate with anyone outside of the room, which will be locked from the outside.  Only the attendants and I will have a key.” Your mouth fell open slightly and your brows furrowed.  That... that seemed like an excessive amount of protection just for you...  
“Lo-Master,” you started, momentarily forgetting your ‘manners’. “I don’t understand; why are you going to such extremes to ensure I stay in here?” you asked in a hushed voice,   
“Because there are people who have shown their intent to harm _me_ by harming _you_.  Or, they just want to harm you for the sake of it...” A cold tremor ran down your back and you felt the warmth and colour drain from your face.  Loki chuckled and tangled his fingers in your hair before moving to gingerly cup your cheek. “Don’t worry pet.  _I_ will be the only one to touch you.” Had it been any other situation, you would have trembled at his words, but... what he said was oddly calming... You leaned into his touch slightly, catching the God of Mischief completely off guard.  There was a moment where his eyes were soft and caring.... the same vulnerability you had seen earlier in the morning.  However, it only lasted a moment.  Loki straightened and left without another word. 

You took a deep breath and steadied your rampant emotions.  Why did your heart falter like that when he looked at you? Why were you growing attached to him?! One day of pleasantness can’t undo what he forced you to do, what he forced you to become!  Your hand balled into tight fists.  Maybe a warm bath would calm you...

***

You weren’t sure how long you were in the bath for, but when you re-emerged from the bathroom, dinner was laid out on one of the coffee tables, as was a bundle of robes that matched the one Loki made you wear.  You tightened the towel around your bust before moving over to the silver platter.  As you opened the cloche, you were immediately assaulted with the familiar meaty scent you had walked past yesterday.  You reached down and picked up one of the meat chunks from the stew before eating it.  It was absolutely _delightful_.  You had eaten a little earlier, but nothing like _this_.  You were about to go for another mouthful when someone knocked at the door, making you jump slightly.  Quickly you grabbed one of the silk robes and threw it on before the door opened.    
“My, my...” You stopped dead and slowly turned towards that familiar, that _disgustingly_ familiar voice. “I’m glad you’ve been well taken care of while you have been out of my care...” Tears almost spilled over your eyes as a choked sob formed in your throat.  What was _he_ doing there? Why was _he_ of all people standing in your doorway?! Was _he_ supposed to be your attendant?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning for the next chapter.  
> . . . That's all you're going to get~ I'm not gonna spoil anything too much; but, be warned that you may not like some stuff that happens next...
> 
> Also, this is really the start of where the plot takes over (Yay! It only took seven chapters *rolls eyes*) and, from what I have planned, it will probably be a long story, probably around 30 - 40 chapters (maybe 20 if I'm lucky)... So, if you actually like this story, strap on the seat belt and get ready for the ride~
> 
> Last thing! Is Loki too... (for a lack of a better word) Bipolar? Do his emotions jump around too much? Or am I just worrying for no reason? Please let me know ^^;


	8. Traitors in Loki's Den

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I warned you at the end of the last chapter, but I shall do it again!  
> You probably wont like the themes in this chapter, and if you don't want to read the lemon, then go to my ff.net account. It will have the censored version on it! Username: 141animefreak141  
> (also, on another note, my suspension from deviantart will be over tomorrow! I'd like to thank everyone who supported my stories on here, without you all I probably would have lost the interest while my suspension was happening~ -of course this will continue to be the first place I update too :D-)

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 7

_***_  
“My, my...” You stopped dead and slowly turned towards that familiar, that disgustingly familiar voice. “I’m glad you’ve been well taken care of while you have been out of my care...” Tears almost spilled over your eyes as a choked sob formed in your throat.  What was he doing there? Why was he of all people standing in your doorway?! Was he supposed to be your attendant?!  
***

“What are you doing here...?” you asked, completely stunned.  What was The Teacher doing in your room?! His bemused expression dulled.  
“Hmmm... perhaps you were taken too well care of.” He said, shutting the door sharply before slowly stepping forward. “It’s been barely a day, and you’ve already forgotten your manners?” he shook his head and wagged his finger back and forth.  He was such a condescending _prick_.  You stepped backwards, hoping you could sneak back into the bathroom and lock yourself in, however The Teacher seemed to read your mind and he quickly made his way around you to slam the bathroom door shut.  That was your chance.  You ran towards the entrance to the room and tried to open the door, but no matter how you hard you shook the door and turned the handle, it refused to open. Loki’s words sang in the back of your mind. _‘You will use J.A.R.V.I.S. to communicate with anyone outside of the room, which will be locked from the outside.  Only the attendants and I will have a key.’_ Your eyes widened as you looked over your shoulder.  The Teacher was standing, waving a key in the air with a sadistic grin over his face.  You felt physically sick.  He must have been one of the attendants. Loki had left you in the care of the only other man you really knew in the entire tower.  He left you in the care of a mad man.  

Your knees began to shake as he made his way over to you.  
“What’s wrong (Name)?” he sang when he reached you.  “Looking for something?” he trailed the cool metal of the key over the skin of your chest.   
“If you touch me, Loki will _never_ forgive you.” You used the only threat you had.  If you screamed, you were sure no one would come to your aid, and, even if you could run, you had nowhere to run _too_... The Teacher chuckled at your feeble threat as he placed the key in his pocket.  
“He won’t need to forgive, he’ll never know.” you were shaking like a leaf, and you hated it.  You _wanted_ to be strong, you _wanted_ to be able stand up and dominate The Teacher’s looming presence... but you just couldn’t; being forced to submit over the past few weeks had completely depleted what inner-strength you had left. 

You took a step backwards when The Teacher came towards you, and another, and another.  Before you knew it, your back was pressed tightly against the door, and The Teacher was leaning over you, his member obviously erect.   You wanted to gag when he moved that last inch forward, and his plump stomach and hard, yet tiny, manhood pressed into you.  The Teacher chuckled and breathed in your scent.  “You smell of _him_...” he growled darkly.  You tried to shrink back and disappear into the door, but of course it didn’t work. “I’ll fix that...” he finished quickly as he snatched your arms and pulled you along towards the bed.

***

You struggled against his firm hold, but nothing you did seemed to have any effect.  All too soon you were forced down onto the bed and stripped of the little clothing you had.  You tried to cover yourself with something, _anything_ ; your hands, the blankets, _anything_.  However, every single attempt you made was in vain because The Teacher ripped it all away.  He then pinned you against the bed and used all of his weight to hold you there.  You could feel him opening his shirt and pants before he pulled the latter lower on his legs and finally slip his member out of his boxers.  Your muscles tensed, and you prepared yourself for the worst... He forced your legs open and entered you quickly to make sure you couldn’t close them or fight back. The small pressure from The Teachers member made you feel sick, and the feeling only grew as he began to slowly rock on you. 

His weight on your body made it hard to breathe, and the small whimpers coming from your throat didn’t make it any easier.  You squeezed your eyes shut tight, wanting the entire experience just to end.  You tried to imagine yourself somewhere else, but over and over again, you were brought back to disgusting reality.  So, instead you tried to focus on your visible surroundings, but that only forced memories of him into your mind... Loki. 

As much as you hated him for leaving you to the mercy of The Teacher, he was the only thing that made it all bearable.  The physical presence of the soft bed made it easier to lose yourself in the daydream.  Loki... Loki... You remembered back to the first night he took you, his hands roaming your body hungrily, his member stretching your inner walls... but that wasn’t enough.  The Teachers weight and _size_ kept dragging your mind from the surprisingly blissful memory.  It wasn’t that he was bigger than Loki, actually, it was quite the opposite, but the way he angled himself made you lower region ache with searing pain. 

The Teacher chuckled darkly, thinking you were moaning in pleasure.  The sound of his laugh was like nails on a chalkboard,  
“Such a loose little whore,” he growled with a smirk.  You tried to bite your tongue and stay silent, but you just couldn’t stop yourself,  
“I’m not loose.  You’re just _tiny_.” You spat back between breaths.  The rocking stopped and you could feel The Teachers heavy glare settle on you.   
“Say that again.” He reached up and clamped down on your hair. You felt your blood boil, and were unable to control your mouth,  
“I said I’m _not_ loose. You’re just _insignificant_ in comparison to the _man_ I’m used to.” You barked back.  Almost instantly he ripped himself out of you and forced your knees above your head.  The sudden change in position made you squeak and whimper in even more pain.   
“I’m small am I, _Little Whore_?!” he bellowed, rubbing his length along your lower lips. “Then you shouldn’t mind if I use you until I get my fill...” he smirked as he entered you once more, this time with more force.

You tried to make him overbalance, but any move you made only forced The Teacher deeper into you.  You closed your eyes once more, but the sounds coming from him were all around you.  His panting, moaning, groaning... the sounds of his skin meeting yours, and the damp sounds coming from your own womanhood... It was all _horrid_.  Slowly but surely The Teacher’s soft pants and moans became louder and louder.  You knew what was coming, and you also knew that you definitely _didn’t_ want it inside of you. 

As his climax came closer, he leaned back and removed much of his weight from you, which also allowed him faster, harder and deeper access to your nether regions.  You could feel his small member twitch within you, and decided that was enough.  You mustered all of the strength you could, and threw your hips towards the side of the bed.  The Teacher was in his own world, but with the added friction of your hips, he came.  His warm, sticky seed sprayed over your bare chest and stomach.  It made you want to vomit.  The Teacher then collapsed on the bed next to you, huffing loudly. 

You felt hollow.  You had only ever been used in such a way by Loki, but now, having been taken by another man, your small sense of self-worth was _completely_ gone.  You felt like nothing more than an average whore.  You had to supress a bitter laugh.  Somewhere along the line, even after telling yourself you meant nothing to him, you had convinced _yourself_ you were above all of the other girls he had taken, but you weren’t.  Loki had left you to The Teacher, probably _knowing_ what he would do.  All that talk about your safety and the precautions he had taken were just to lull you into a false sense of security before your trust in him was shattered _completely_.  You bit back a scowl.  He was probably still in the building and watching everything The Teacher did to you on closed circuit television. 

Suddenly your stomach flipped, and chest tightened, which did nothing more than confused you. Was your body telling you not to believe your head? Pfft stupid heart.  The Teacher shifted slightly, a soft jingle reached your ears.  Your (e/c) eyes moved over to his pants, which had fallen far below his knees. The ends of keys were sticking out of his pocket.  You could grab them, get to the door, and start running down the hall before he even sat up.  You thought of the likelihood of a situation like this happening again, and it wasn’t good.  You _had_ to take the opportunity when it offered itself to you so freely. And so you did.

***

Quick as a flash you plucked the keys from his pocket, stood up and ran to the other side of the room before he had even caught his breath.  Your fumbling with the keys is what clued him onto what you were doing, but before he had even sat up, you were out the door; out the door and free - - for about two seconds.  That was all the time it took for you to run into someone and fall to the ground. 

The person you ran into was a boy, barely older than fifteen, probably the sons of one of Loki’s council, but still, even with the world the way it was, he was far too young to be holding a machine gun.  

When you finally found your bearings, the young boy was already back on his feet, and in utter shock that a naked woman ran into him.  Your mind snapped back into step when you heard the thumping footsteps of The Teacher, he was getting too close for your liking.  You were about to stand and continue on your way when the boy pointed the gun at you.  Immediately you froze, which gave The Teacher just enough time to catch up and throw you to the floor.

Your skin stung terribly from the cold, hard tiles, and the added weight from The Teacher leaning on your back only made it worse.  Tears welled in the corners of your eyes.  You were almost sure your chest was going to break under the pressure.   
“Damn it boy, I told you to stand watch, not kill someone!” The pudgy man above you growled softly, buttoning the last inch of his shirt.  The young boy was about to reply when the sound of two sets of footsteps sounded from down the hallway.  You wanted to scream out for help, but you could barely breathe, let alone make a valiant effort to get someone else’s attention; however, you soon came to realise that you didn’t even need to call out.  The two people were making their way over to you.  Your chest suddenly tightened. What if they weren’t coming to help you...? What if they were coming to join in on The Teachers ‘fun’?

You no longer wanted to breathe, you wanted to slip away into the dark nothingness of death... but apparently The Teacher just loved to make you suffer.  He lessened the weight on your back, allowing you to breathe properly for the first time in what felt like hours and threw a short robe over your shaking form.  You were then hauled to your feet and placed with your back against the wall as The Teacher turned to greet the two men. 

That was the first opportunity you had to see who had interrupted The Teacher.  Before you stood two men in head-to-toe armour, one was tall, _really_ tall, and visibly muscular, the other... well... not so much.  They both made their way over to you, but neither even glanced at you, instead they were focused solely on The Teacher.   
“Loki has given us orders, _you_ are not to be here...” the taller guard said, removing his metal mask.  What...? He wasn’t... he wasn’t your attendant? Your knees felt weak, had you not been against the wall, you probably would have fallen to the ground.  The Teacher smirked,  
“I was only passing by, when the treacherous little whore tried to escape, isn’t that right?” he turned to the young boy you had run into and glared, he received a nod in response.  
“Y-yes.  She surprised me and hit be from behind, if The Teacher wasn’t here, she would have escaped.” The boy said, refusing to look at you.   
“N-No, wait, I didn’t! I - -,” you were cut off when The Teacher tangled his stumpy fingers in your hair and pulled your head sharply downwards.  
“Don’t bother. The little _bitch_ just doesn’t want the punishment Loki has arranged for her.”  Your eyes widened and muscles tensed.  Loki... what? He arranged punishment?! The Teacher snickered at your reaction. “That’s right (Name), he thought you’d try to run, and set up a punishment for when you were caught.” He was right by your ear.  If he didn’t have such a tight hold of your hair, you would have thrown your head backwards in an attempt to break his nose; but that was impossible with the way he held you.  The plump man stood straight and turned his attentions back to the guards, “I will take her back to the other girls; I’m already late for lessons as it is...” just as he began to move, the guard stopped him.   
“That isn’t what we were told to do...” The taller one said sternly. Oh God... what had they been ordered to do...?

***

The two guards took you away from The Teacher and guided your down the semi-familiar hallways.  You could still hear him behind the three of you.  Of course he _just so happened_ to be going the same way.... You were thankful though that the two guards stood between you and him...  And yet... a nervous twinge of terror still gripped you.  Where were they leading you?  Just as you began to fear that you actually would be returning to the shared room with the other girls, you were yanked abruptly right by one of the guards and thrown into one of the prison cells.  The cold and hard floor was a welcome change from the memory of The Teachers flabby and sweaty skin, but it didn’t make you feel any cleaner.  The sticky stains of his seed were still covering much of your body, and it was almost like you could still feel him within your womanhood.   
“Maybe a week in here will teach you some manners...” The Teacher growled from the doorway as he walked passed.  The guard shut the cell door, but before he left, he spoke to you, too soft and kind to be a guard in a place like this.     
“When Loki returns, and before you are returned to him, he will be told of everything I _suspect_ has happened.” A soft shuffling sound came from outside, the guard looked over his shoulder to his smaller teammate who nodded and went outside.  Why would one leave while the other stayed? Was he keeping watch or something? Your brows furrowed. No, what reason could they have to do that? The guard who was in front of you then knelt down to your level and leaned against the metal bars.

Being so close to him and able to clearly see some of his features... he looked so familiar.  Where had you seen him before? His eyes were really the only thing you could see along with a few strands of brown hair... Deep chocolate brown iris’s...  and the more you thought of it, the more you began to recognise his voice.  Could he be the same man? No... Surely not... The man you thought of was terrifying, his voice was rough and cold and his eyes were lifeless.... This couldn’t be the same man from the meeting the other day.  
“Barnes...” you murmured to yourself, trying to remember what Loki had called the man.  You could have sworn you saw his lips quirk upwards through the material over his chin.  
“You were meant to return to the other girls, but you will be safe here; Thor will make sure of that.” His brown eyes quickly darted over to the cell next to your own.   A shadowed figure moved in the dim light sluggishly, almost as if they had just been woken up. 

You turned back to the guard, but he was gone, and the door to the hallway shut behind them.  You felt thoroughly confused.  Why were you in a cell instead of back at the share room with the other girls? Why were those two guards willing to risk themselves to protect you from The Teacher? Your head began to spin, to stop yourself from falling the small distance to the ground you chose to willingly lie down.  
“Are you feeling unwell?” the accent to the voice reminded you of Loki, but the tone was kinder and voice gruffer... You looked up.  The shadowed figure was completely in view now.  It really was Thor.  His golden hair was a mess, and his skin covered in a fine layer of dirt and grime, but it was definitely him, it was the same God of Thunder you had seen all those months ago on the news trying to stop Loki.  
“Why...?” you asked, trying to sit back up. “Why would they help me? Why do you care if I am unwell?!” your (e/c) eyes met with his icy blue ones and you could tell he was absolutely stunned.  Had your emotions and mind become so warped that you had forgotten about basic human decency? No...That wasn’t it.  There _was_ no human decency in this place.  
“Not everyone in Loki’s den serves him.” He said, leaning on the metal bars between your cells.  It took you a moment to understand what he was implying,  
“Traitors? _Here_?” you asked cynically, not believing a word.  Okay, great, so your willingness to trust people has also diminished... Thor sighed softly,  
“It doesn’t matter right now, all you need to know is that there are people who want to help _everyone_ Loki has captured... They will get you and everyone else out of here.” The strain in his voice made you want to believe him; hell, he was giving you _exactly_ what you had hoped for since Loki took over. Hope.  Tears began to well in the corners of your eyes. He was giving you a light at the end of a dark and dangerous tunnel, so why did the prospect of being saved make your chest ache so much? You felt the cool tears slip down your cheeks.  Were you really willing to let such simple words shake your resolve, after resigning to your fate? “What is your name?” he asked, obviously wanting to change the subject.  
“(N-Name)...” you stuttered through the tears that gradually began to stop. Though your eyes were still waterlogged, you could see softness in Thor’s eyes that drew you deeper and deeper into his gaze.  
“Well, Lady (Name), seeing as you are going to be here for a little while, would you care to tell me a little about yourself?” he asked with a kind smile. You didn’t want to delve into your past, but you didn’t want to linger on the present, nor dream of the future... you swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded,  
“Okay...” you said, shifting around to face him more, “what would you like to know?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm afraid this chapter jumps around a little too much... please let me know what you think! I need feedback!!! Any kind of feed back, any ideas, ANYTHING!!!! :D


	9. The God of Thunder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments thus far~  
> You all have no idea how happy each and every comment makes me~!! ^^

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 9

 _***_  
“Well, Lady (Name), seeing as you are going to be here for a little while, would you care to tell me a little about yourself?” he asked with a kind smile. You didn’t want to delve into your past, but you didn’t want to linger on the present, nor dream of the future... you swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded,  
“Okay...” you said, shifting around to face him more, “what would you like to know?”  
***

Time seemed to fly when you were talking with Thor.  Well... it could have been the company, or it could have been the everlasting darkness that made you lose your sense of time. Whichever it was, you didn’t particularly care.  You just liked talking to someone who you weren’t afraid of, someone who didn’t threaten you with violence or rape, someone who was _genuine_. 

It only took a few hours and Thor basically knew your _entire_ life story.  Your colourful home life before Loki took over, a Mother too zonked out on anti-depression medicines to notice the uselessness of her boyfriend, a father who was _never_ there, and the rest of your family, backstabbing, manipulative and cold.  You didn’t want to weigh him down with your issues, but, you couldn’t stop yourself, you were like a broken faucet, releasing every word that came to your mind. After moving past your family, you told him about your friends, with whom you had lost contact with soon after the incident in New York.  That was when you felt the tears begin to slip down your cheeks.  Were you a bad person for caring more about the safety of your friends than your family...?  You tried to cover the tears with laughter and feigning a speck of dust had flown into your eye, but you were a bad liar, and an even worse actress.  Thor reached between the bars that separated you and gently placed his hand on your shoulder.  
“What are their names?” he asked softly.  
“W-what?” you asked, not understanding why that, of all things, would be important.  
“If they made it to one of the refugee camps The Avengers set up, their names would be on a list. They do it to ensure families aren’t broken up, and so they can be reunited.” Immediately your head snapped up, and the tears stopped dead.  “I cannot possibly remember every name on that list, but I _can_ find out for you...” You looked for a long while into his cerulean blue eyes, not sure whether you truly wanted to know... What if they weren’t okay? What if they were still hiding in (Town)? What if - - You took a deep, calming breath and closed your eyes,  
“(Friends names)...” you listed slowly, allowing Thor enough time between each to remember all of of them.   
“Okay-,”  
“And...” you quickly added. “And, (Family member’s names)...” Thor nodded slowly, offering you a soft smile, which you returned.

You breathed in deeply.  It felt like a weight had been removed from both your chest and shoulders, allowing you to breathe in properly for the first time since you had arrived in Stark Tower. “Okay, enough about me...” you said, wanting to change the topic as quickly as you could, “what about you?” Thor’s smile faltered for a moment, before it returned.  You could tell it was more forced than before.  Maybe asking about his history wasn’t the best idea...

***

After hearing a brief overview of Thor’s family, you felt a little selfish...  and sympathetic, and pained... Thor’s and, at the same time, Loki’s past made your own history seem like a walk in the park.  There were no threats of war lingering on every small decision you made and you didn’t have to be a beacon of light for an entire world... Sure, you had a rotten family at times... but at least they hadn’t tried to kill one another... very often.  There was one thing that stuck out in your mind as he spoke...  
“Why wouldn’t your father send help to stop Loki...?” you asked mindlessly. By this time you had moved to sit directly opposite Thor, and you were able to see his already sombre expression sadden further.   
“I was forced to destroy the Bifrost, which also destroyed the link between the realms.  It took my father many hours and an excessive exposure to Dark Energy just to open the portal for me to get here.  I do not think he, or anyone for that matter, would be physically able to open a gateway long enough for an entire army to come through...” your brows furrowed and you nipped at your lower lip,  
“Well... that sucks...” you muttered, thinking Thor couldn’t hear you.  He did, and started chuckling.  You felt a faint blush colour your cheeks, feeling a cross between embarrassment and idiocy mixed in your stomach. However, those emotions were quickly replaced with laughter and happiness.  Thor’s laughter was horribly infectious and before you knew it, you were rolling around on the ground, holding your sides and giggling uncontrollably.

***

Over the next few days you started opening up to Thor more, and he did the same.  Being around him made you feel normal once again, but his presence didn’t completely extinguish the fear of The Teacher, or Loki.  The first night, you barely slept at all.  Instead, you waited for Thor to fall asleep and then paced along the thin cell, keeping your mind busy remembering every little detail of it. Along the back wall was the old, rickety metal bed frame with a mattress that was so thin it was like cardboard.  A tiny cordoned off area in the back corner was your bathroom.  You shuddered when first realising what it was, and hoped you didn’t have to use it too much over the week... Other than that, there was nothing else really in the cell, so you spent the rest of the night tracing the grout in the walls and cracks within the concrete. The lack of anything was another reason you were glad Thor was there.  To waste time you would play stupid childish games or tell stories, _anything_ to pass the time, and slowly you found yourself able to relax more and more, and, by the third night, you were able to sleep through.

***

On the fourth morning, you were awoken by the soft murmurs of Thor, and... who was that...? You focused on the second voice.  It sounded like that Barnes guy... You rolled over and cracked open one of your eyes, cautious to make sure you still looked asleep.  The two men stopped talking for a moment, ensuring you were still ‘sleeping’, before continuing.  
“Is there anything else? It’s been a while since any of them will have heard from you, they’ll have a lot of questions...” the brunette said,  
“Such as?” Thor asked.  
“Why you’ve decided to come back to the rest of the world after nearly four months of shutting everyone out...” anyone else listening into the conversation probably would have mistaken Barnes’s tone for one of complete disinterest, but the concern in his eyes was unmistakable.  Thor paused for a moment and looked over his shoulder, almost in your direction, before turning back to the brunette man.  
“Brother Bucky...” he started, “just tell them I have found myself, nothing more need be said.”  He finished slowly. The brunette sighed and stood before walking out of the room. 

Thor leaned back on his elbow and closed his eyes.  
“How long are you going to pretend to be asleep?” he asked, turning in your direction with a smirk playing on his lips.  
“Just a little bit longer...” you murmured softly, unable to stop the smile from creeping onto your lips.  

***

For three days you and Thor had had semi-peace. But... there was something that had nagged in the back of your mind since you first saw him from the hallway when The Teacher was taking you to Loki...  Loki wanted to destroy The Avengers, he wanted to freely rule the Earth, probably before moving onto other worlds, so why? Why would he leave Thor alive...?  
“Is something on your mind (Name)?” he asked, taking up his place next to you.  You didn’t want to ask him such a thing.  When The Teacher had said something about it, Thor became angered.  You gnawed on your lower lip and shook your head,  
“No.” you squeaked out, refusing to make eye contact with The God of Thunder.  Thor chuckled and rested his head against the brick wall.  
“I may not have known you for very long, but I know what your ‘thinking face’ looks like.” He said with a toothy grin.  You sighed to supress the laugh that had built in your throat. “So what is it?” Thor urged again.  You glanced over to him and sighed.  How were you going to phrase it...? Would it better if you just made something up on the fly? No, you were very rarely good at making something up on the spot...  
“Why did Loki let you stay here instead of...” you cleared your throat, unable to finish the sentence.  You were both silent for a moment while Thor thought over his answer.   
“I lost someone, and in the process, I lost my way as well... He wants me to live with the poor decisions I’ve made since New York...” He explained slowly. The hurt and pain in Thor’s voice made your chest tighten.  Slowly your hand moved to his broad, muscular shoulder, just as you were about to say something, the door to the dark room slammed open, blinding the both of you temporarily.  You didn’t need to see who it was though, the dark, controlling laugh clued you onto who it was...

You really wished he would just _fuck off_. Every time you thought you were free of him, he came back, angrier than ever.  However, your irritation for The Teacher didn’t mean you weren’t afraid of him, and as he made his way into your cell, you could feel your knees knocking.

Thor wrapped his arm around you and lifted you up before forcing you into the corner where your cells met the brick wall.  The Teachers expression darkened.  
“I know what you and your minions had to do to get her here, unless you want Barnes’s true intentions to come to light, you will release her.” Both of your mouths fell open.  How... how could he know? Had he overheard Bucky and Thor talking...? What? What had happened to clue him onto what Bucky was doing?!  Thor’s hands tightening around you brought your mind back into focus.   
“I will not give her to the likes of _you_.” Thor growled. The Teacher chuckled and stepped further into your cell.  
“Now, I tried to play nice, but you’ve both pushed me too far now.” he pulled what looked like a remote control from his pocket, only... it wasn’t a remote control... One end of the device lit up, and made a crackling and buzzing noise. It was a Taser. The Teacher stepped forward once more, and you tried to move further into Thor, that was when you realised something.  You were both tightly pressed against _metal_ bars. 

You couldn’t move forward, or back... you were stuck.  
“When you turned your back on everyone and everything, is it true you were no longer worthy to hold that precious hammer of yours?” You looked over your shoulder to Thor.  His mouth had firmed a firm and straight line and his eyes shimmered with a darkness you had never seen before.  “Are you still able to absorb and redirect electricity without your hammer?” The Teacher pressed the button on the Teaser once more and quickly pressed it against the metal bars.

You were frozen.  Your mind screamed out for the rest of your body to move, but it didn’t.  You watched as the soft light slowly made its way down the wall of metal bars and round the corner to you.  That was when you felt it.  Not the searching pain of an electrical shock; you felt Thor’s grip on you loosen before he shoved you forward into the thin mattress.  As you fell towards the mattress, all you could hear was the racing sound of your heart, and the muffled laughter of The Teacher. 

When you hit the mattress, everything came back to a normal speed, and you were able to clearly hear Thor’s pained groans.  You tried to sit up and rush back over to the Thunder God, but The Teacher suddenly reached out and grabbed you before hauling you out of the cell, leaving Thor alone to try to recover from the electric shock.

***

You were dragged back to Loki’s room by your hair, you tried on more than one occasion to break away from The Teacher, but his strength and momentum stopped you every time.  When you finally reached the room, you were thrown onto the plush bed as The Teacher entered the room and slammed the door.  Immediately you were taken back to the other day when he -- Your stomach knotted and you were all too sure you were going to throw up.

The pudgy man chuckled,  
“I promised myself that I wouldn’t take you again... but seeing you so helpless on the bed...” he reached down and slowly began to stroke himself as his eyes closed. “I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself...”  
“... Why...?” if you hadn’t said something, you probably would have broken down into sobs.  You didn’t want that.  You didn’t want to show him weakness, and you weren’t going to, not after everything Thor and Bucky had done for you. You felt your eyes burn with anger. “Of all the girls you could have, why do you insist on _ME_?!” Your voice broke under the emotional strain, and you could feel your chest heaving.

The Teacher looked like he was in a state of complete and utter shock. However, it took only a moment for him to recompose himself.   
“You want to know?” he growled, striding forward swiftly. “You really want to know!?” In less than a second he had a tight hold of your hair and hauled you upwards until you were barely in inch away from his face. “I am allowed one girl... _one girl_. I train them along with the others, and once the training is complete, _I_ take them.” He looked you up and down before continuing. “But you ruined it.” He growled, dropping you back onto the bed.  He then turned around and paced, trying to rid himself of the anger. When you shifted on the bed, he stopped and sharply turned around. “You were supposed to be mine, but _he_ took you that night, and claimed you as his own.” His visible irritation started to die down, but the darkness and emotion in his voice made you tremble ever-so-slightly. Just stay silent, he was angry, don’t do anything to push him further... He suddenly laughed bitterly, “It was completely by chance you know. He had no interest in you until that night. I know for a fact he wanted one of the other girls!” You hadn’t noticed, but while he was speaking, he had picked up a small glass object, and in his rage, he threw it against the wall, shattering it into millions of little pieces. 

Immediately you retracted your legs, pulling you knees to your chest before moving further back on the bed.  The Teacher then strode forward and caught you by the neck.  
“He doesn't like people touching his property. Well... neither do I.” he pushed you to lie down on the bed despite all of your struggling. “So I'm going to take you once more before he returns, and you will say nothing to him of any of this.” He growled.  
“Is that so?” a voice called from the doorway.  You craned your neck to see who it was, and you swore a choked sob escaped your throat when you saw who it was. Loki...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I chose to rush over Reader-chans history because it will be explained in more detail a little later. And I also chose to graze over Thor's/Loki's because... well... you probably know all of it anyway...
> 
> >.> I'm getting increasingly unsure of the chapters I write. I hope this chapter answered at least a few questions you all had in regards to certain aspects of the story thus far... If not, and it only managed to confuse you more, let me know. I may need to go back and rewrite it all... :|
> 
> I'm also considering maybe asking someone to Beta for me. Not for spelling and grammar, but for the plot. I had some issues writing this chapter because I wasn't sure if anything major really happened.... >> Anyway, if youre interested, let me know. If you dont think I need a beta and the plot is fine just as it is, also let me know.
> 
> Also, I'm just curious. Do you consider Bucky to be a main/major character withing the MCU? Or is he just a supporting character?


	10. A Night of Regret and Nightmares...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank everyone who comments~! I may not respond until I update (mainly because I don't want to make promises about update dates I cant keep), bu I read and love every single comment that is posted~
> 
> (On another note, this chapter is beating the average word count for all of my other chapters by 3x -mainly because this is two chapters in one-, so I hope it was worth the wait~)

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 10

 _***  
_ _“He doesn't like people touching his property. Well... neither do I.” he pushed you to lie down on the bed despite all of your struggling. “So I'm going to take you once more before he returns, and you will say nothing to him of any of this.” He growled._  
“Is that so?” a voice called from the doorway.  You craned your neck to see who it was, and you swore a choked sob escaped your throat when you saw who it was. Loki...  
***

A wave of emotions washed over you, relief, joy, fear _and_ terror.  Your mind and stomach were being pulled in so many directions at once that you felt like you were going to pass out.  
“Remove your vile hands from her _now_.” Loki warned, slowly striding forward, but The Teacher didn’t listen. No, wait... It wasn’t that he didn’t listen; it was because he was _literally_ frozen in place, out of fear or shock, you didn’t know. “(Name), come here...” He gestured for you to move towards him.  Cautiously you slipped out from underneath The Teacher and made your way over to Loki. 

Your walk to him felt like an eternity.  Your knees were weak and you could feel your heartbeat throbbing within the burn mark on your neck.  However, when Loki reached out and took a hold of your hand, everything returned to normal.  He then pulled you to his side and held you there tightly.  
“Go clean yourself off dove...” he murmured, running his hand up the slightly torn green robe.  You quickly looked between Loki and The Teacher before the former caught your chin and all but forced your gaze to focus on him, “ _I_ will deal with him, go...” he gently pushed you in the direction of the bathroom.

***

As soon as you closed the door, there was a loud bang, almost as if someone had been thrown against, or through, something with an incredible force.  You nervously chewed on your lower lip and shifted your weight from one foot to the other.  Loki had told you to bathe... but... You really wanted to see what he was going to do to The Teacher. God knows he deserved whatever Loki chose to do to him, but even knowing that, you wanted to see with your own eyes what was going to happen to him.  Your brows furrowed, if you were caught, _you_ would be the one to be punished... You nervously ran your hand through your knotted and clumped hair.  Who were you kidding? You had already made up your mind before you had entered the bathroom. 

You let out a soft, steadying breath.  That was that then. That was your decision, no more worrying or changing your mind; if Loki caught you, then so be it.  You wanted to watch what kind of torture The Teacher was going to be put through, and then quickly run into the shower so Loki didn’t know you had disobeyed him... Okay, so maybe you _did_ care if he caught you.  Then an idea struck you.  You turned around and put the water on in the shower, hoping that would mask any sounds you made as well as trick Loki into thinking you were in the shower.  You then moved back to the door before carefully opening it just enough to peek through...

*Loki’s POV*

Loki caught The Teacher by the neck and harshly pinned him against the wall right beside the bed, ignoring the fact that The Teachers stumpy legs knocked over the bedside table.  
“ _Why_ do you want her?” he growled loudly, drawing the gaze of The Teacher from the bathroom door to meet his own.   
“The same reason you did...” the pudgy man choked out.  “Her eyes didn’t glaze over after being here, she still feels something other than fear or pain, and she doesn’t immediately throw herself at those who control her just to diffuse a situation.” Hearing The Teacher speak of her in such a way made Loki’s stomach turn.  “She has _class_ ,” He wasn’t sure what made him do it, but the next second Loki felt his fisted hand flying towards The Teacher’s nose. 

Again and again Loki’s fist flew forward and struck the pudgy man in different areas of his face.  He could feel the bones cracking under the force of his punches, and the small pieces of skin and gushes of blood falling to his feet.  It was only when his fist became almost completely covered in blood that he stopped and stepped back from The Teacher, who fell to his knees and clutched his bleeding face tightly. 

Seeing The Teacher on his knees, but still defiant and remaining conscious reminded Loki _why_ he appointed him to the post he did.  Not only could he dish out pain, but he could take it as well.  That didn’t excuse his actions though.  He had already been given one chance to stop pursuing (Name), he wasn’t having another.  
“Give me one reason I shouldn’t kill you where you _kneel_...”  Loki said in a hauntingly calm tone. Psychological torture, Loki _loved_ it.  Both men knew that no answer would be good enough, no matter what answer he gave.  Well, that was what _Loki_ was thinking at least.  The Teacher lowered his hand and spat out a mouth full of blood before looking up to the raven haired man.  
“Because I can give you the name of a mole,” the pudgy man replied gruffly.  Loki’s anger filled features morphed into shock.  
“What did you say?” he said, taking half a step forward.   
“You heard me.” The Teacher groaned as he stood. “Give me your word that I will walk out of those doors without any further harm, and I will give you the name...”  Loki looked down at him sceptically.  
“If the name holds any merit, then you will walk out of the front doors a free man and I will remove every insignificant memory of you from my mind.  If not, then I _will_ kill you, _slowly_.” The pudgy man chuckled.  
“You’ll have to get in line.  I believe Thor, among others, will have called the right to _that_ particular pleasure before you...” The smirk on The Teacher’s face made Loki want to start pummelling him once more, but he had to control himself.   
“The name...” he urged darkly.  The pudgy man wiped some of the blood from his face with a smirk,  
“ _Bucky Barnes_.”

Very rarely was Loki lost for words... But what The Teacher had just divulged had managed to stop every thought in his mind.  He couldn’t even snap himself out of the rut in which he found himself.  How was that possible? HYDRA had made it clear that Barnes was under their control. Nothing they had found could break the brainwashing techniques... The Teacher must have lied.  After the past few weeks, why would he be worthy of Loki’s trust? And - - The Teacher’s chuckling interrupted the raven haired man’s thoughts.  
“Figuring out how Barnes broke the brainwashing time and time again had me stumped- -,” Everything suddenly clicked.  
“Rogers.” Loki interjected irritably, not wanting to hear The Teacher talk any more than needed.  “I expected their bond to be strong... but not this strong...” Loki muttered to himself.  “At the start of every mission, he was under their control, but meeting up with Rogers every time must have slowly dulled and eventually nullified the effect of it...” Loki mused to himself.  
“The Avengers seem to have a gravitational pull with _every_ being that they come into contact with...” Immediately Loki’s ears pricked at that statement, not liking the tone or implication at all. Suddenly his patience shortened, and Loki found himself wanting to gut the man who stood before him.  
“What do you mean by _that_?” The raven haired man growled with tightly gritted teeth.  
“You should keep your eye on who you allow (Name) to fraternise with...” The Teacher said with a smirk, eyeing the bathroom.  The water was running, Loki heard it start a while ago... That damned man was imagining (Name) in the shower, and that made his anger soar to new heights.

*Your POV*

You were thankful that Loki had his back to you, but you were almost certain The Teacher had seen you.  His dark, wandering eyes continuously lingered on the door, you tried to close it a little more, but between the loud squeaking of the doors hinges, and losing the ability to see the two men clearly, you resigned yourself to being seen by him.  Given his current situation, you thought it would be unlikely he would have any sway over Loki... well... that was what you hoped at least.

Suddenly your attention was focused back on the two men and not the door.  Bucky’s name was mentioned, and that definitely couldn’t be good.  Given the situation The Teacher was in, he would probably use his own mother as a scapegoat to escape Loki, Bucky would have no hope... You started to panic.  How much would he tell Loki? You were probably already in trouble for leaving the room, even if you had no choice... but if Loki knew that Bucky and Thor had saved you from being taken back to The Teacher, and that his ‘punishment’ of being returned was evaded... You shuddered and forced yourself to focus on the two men, hoping it would stop your mind from racing.  
“You should keep your eye on who you allow (Name) to fraternise with...”  You couldn’t see Loki’s facial expression, but you saw his shoulders tense considerably.  The Teacher’s gaze once again moved to you, the dark hunger in his black irises made you shudder.  
“Like a man such as yourself?”  Loki asked.  
“Like me, only _godlier_.” The pudgy man replied.  Loki stepped forward quickly and grabbed The Teacher by the throat and shoved him back into the wall, the sudden movement made you jump slightly, and knock over one of the many products on a shelf.  In a feeble attempt to catch the falling objects, you managed to knock off even more, while also allowing the door to swing open.  You cringed as the final plastic bottle hit the ground before you turned around to face the music, also known as Loki’s wrath...

Your (e/c) eyes darted to your Master, and what you saw made you completely surprised... Loki’s features didn’t show anger or irritation... He was calm. Somehow that made you all the more terrified.  Slowly the raven haired man’s hand slipped from The Teacher’s neck before he reached out for you, wanting you to move closer.   Taking a deep breath, you stepped forward.

As you walked, Loki wiped The Teachers blood from his hands, and when you reached him, he pulled you tightly to his chest.   
“Now Pet, didn’t I tell you to go clean yourself off?” his dark tone made you tense, but you realised that his tone wasn’t aimed at you, his words were, but not the tone, that was directed at The Teacher.  Loki gingerly ran his fingers through your hair as a pale green light engulfed you. 

A strange feeling ran through you.  It was almost like thousands of ice cold hands were touching every inch of your body, you wanted to pull away, but you were frozen in place.  Loki placed his hands softly on your shoulders and quickly skimmed down your sides.  As his hands moved over your body, your tattered and dirt covered robe slowly dissolved into thousands of specks, but was quickly replaced with a new one.  However it wasn’t like the ones you had been forced to wear before.  This one was thicker, far more ornate and reached down passed your ankles.  You lifted your arm up to get a better look at the detailing when you realised that every last bit of grime had vanished from your skin.

When the robe finished forming, the cold sensation dissipated, and you were free to move once more.  Loki walked around you in a small circle, admiring his handiwork.  His fingers trailed through your hair, removing the knots and smoothing out your hair.  He stopped behind you, making your worry for a moment, but then he wrapped one of his arms around your waist and he nuzzled into the unscarred side of your neck.  
“That’s better, wouldn’t you agree Pet?” The raven haired man asked, tightening his hold on you.   
“How cute...” The Teacher spat impatiently.  You could have sworn you heard Loki growl in response.  However he quickly recovered his composure and smirked,  
“Jealous are we...?” The Teachers brow quirked slightly,  
“I’m just curious.  If you could change her appearance so easily, why send her to the bathroom in the first place?” The pudgy man asked with a dead gaze.  Loki’s muscles stiffened, he was getting irritated with The Teachers presence, or, that was what you thought at least.  
“I did not think she would want to watch you anymore, but I was pleasantly surprised to see her interested in what kind of punishment you would receive,” he replied with a dark smirk.  The Teacher clicked his tongue as a scowl settled over his features.  Loki’s free hand slowly reached out, bringing with it the same green light that engulfed you.  It surrounded The Teacher and made him completely disappear from your line of sight, only to reappear a moment later.

Your brows furrowed. He was... He was muttering things to himself, and now that you were able to see him clearly, you noticed that he was struggling against restraints that weren’t there, almost like his arms and legs were tied with invisible rope...   
“Would you like to see what is tormenting him so?” Your (e/c) eyes met for a moment, before Loki’s cool hand found the bare skin of your neck. 

A haze slowly began to fall over your mind, and a transparent wash glazed over your eyes.  Once it passed, everything around you had a green like hue to it, and there was heaviness in your head that you just couldn’t shake.  That was when you heard it.  Pleasure filled and gasping moans. You tried to look up, but your knees began to shake, and you felt yourself slowly falling to the ground.  Loki’s hold on your neck shifted, allowing his arm to support your entire weight while still keeping contact with your skin.   
“Now, now, Dove... You’re strong enough to remain standing...” he whispered softly into your ear.  You were trying to stand straight, but due to your unsteadiness and light-headedness, you stumbled around and fell into Loki’s chest.

You used Loki as leverage to push yourself up, though, you were sure he helped you as well. You stopped as a gentle shiver ran through your spine.  Your cheeks were nearly touching and the warmth and electricity that passed between the two of you was exhilarating.  You let out a shaky breath and slowly pulled away.  You weren’t sure why, but your fingers tightened around his shirt and you... you _wanted_ him to kiss you.  You tensed. No... No, that couldn’t be right.  Loki chuckled softly before his eyes moved to the scene behind you, and then returned to your own.  Sluggishly you turned around, allowing the sounds of your surroundings to enter your ears once more. 

A soft gasp caught in your throat. It was... It was Loki and you, but _not_ you at the same time... an illusion. You tried to step back, but Loki stopped you from moving and forced you to continue to watch.  Your doppelganger was naked, and had her back pressed tightly against an invisible wall directly in front of The Teacher. Loki’s double was also naked, and pounding into her. You softly bit your lower lip and tried to force the growing warmth within your stomach away, but it wasn’t working. That was when you noticed it... The Teacher... he was.... Your brows furrowed slightly. His hands were chained to the ceiling, and his feet were bound to the floor... He couldn’t move at all, and was forced to watch as the second Loki roughly took you in every position possible.   Not that it stopped him from calling out for you, moaning your name or yelling profanities at the second Loki.  You shuddered when you noticed the growing bulge in his pants, and you were thankful that Loki stopped him from being able to touch himself.   
“Does it turn you on Dove...?” your eyes widened as Loki’s hand skimmed from your breasts to your stomach. You had to get away.  If you stayed this close to him for too long, you were going to completely lose it.  Using all of your body weight, you sharply pulled away from Loki’s reach and stumbled towards one of the coffee tables. 

The feeling that washed over you as you re-entered reality was surreal.  Your vision blurred and your legs shook violently.  A pleasant, euphoria-like state crashed like waves over your body and spread a soft tingle across your skin. However it only took a moment to overcome the dizziness and the unbearable warmth within your stomach.  However you were still left gasping for air. You weren’t sure when Loki left the illusion, but when he called out for you, you jumped slightly,  
“Now love, you have a choice...” You turned around to face Loki once more. “You can stay here with Him, and listen to him pine for you... Or you could come with me...” he reached out and gently tucked a few stray (h/c) strands behind your ear. 

Was there really a choice? You couldn’t stand the sight of The Teacher, let alone his murmuring moans... You stepped closer to Loki, who welcomed your decision with a surprisingly warm embrace, but it didn’t last long.  Loki pulled out a small communicator and spoke softly into it before closing it abruptly and turning to you.  
“Come Pet; let’s leave the vile being to his torment.” Loki said, leading you towards the door.  
“Where are we going...?” you asked, barely above a whisper. Loki chuckled softly.  
“We’re going to see a mole...”He replied, not even bothering to look at you.  He was focused on his goal, and you were almost certain that goal involved someone being gravely injured, if not killed...

***

Loki led you through the halls quickly.  Gradually guards took up their places around you, and with every door you passed more and more people would step into the hallway to watch Loki and his growing entourage.  You turned one last corner to a dead-end hallway.  Guards were standing on either side of a door near the end.  As you ventured deeper down the hallway, you could feel the air cool significantly, and suddenly the feeling of being trapped gnawed at your stomach.  A mole... you knew Loki was referring to Bucky, and the entire walk through the Tower made your stomach churn.  The guards standing at the door stepped aside and allowed you and Loki to enter, several of the other guards who had followed you along the way entered also, but stayed with their backs to the wall. 

The room itself was dark; the little light coming in from the open door did little to illuminate the room.  Loki softly tugged you closer, having apparently sensed your unease.  
“J.A.R.V.I.S. if you would...”  The raven haired man said as he stepped further into the room.  A low beeping noise echoed in the room and the door slowly shut behind you.

You jumped nearly five feet in the air when the spotlights turned on.   They were blindingly bright and it took you a moment to adjust, but once you did, you were able to see Bucky, hunched over on the ground, chained by his neck, arms, legs and torso to a large cement block in the middle of the room.  

You became frozen, your legs wouldn’t move and you could barely breathe... This entire situation wasn’t good.  You had expected something like this... but actually seeing it... It made your skin crawl and chest ache.  Loki’s hold on you didn’t loosen, in fact, it tightened, and he forced you further into the room which only made your chest hurt more.   
“My, my...” Loki chuckled. “I thought you would have had the sense to run, or at least _try_ to escape...” the raven haired man’s tone was dark and bitter, and made your spine shiver.   
“Sir, I have no reason to - -,” Bucky started as he looked up, but slowly trailed off when he caught sight of you.   
“You had all the reason to run Barnes.” Loki snarled harshly as he released you and then stepped forward into the direct light of the spot lights.  “But then, those chains are made of _pure_ adamantium, even The _Monster_ wouldn’t be able to break through them, you can thank Stark for the supply...” Bucky took this chance to look your way once more, and you immediately knew what he wanted, the questioning gaze he held was a dead giveaway... He wanted to know who had told Loki, and judging from the dark hint to his gaze, he thought that person was you.  You quickly, but as discretely as possible, shook your head and mouthed the words “The Teacher” over and over again, hoping he would get the message.   Loki’s emerald green eyes moved between the two of you, which stopped you from communicating with him anymore.  

The raven haired man slowly walked to the back of the room.  Through the glare of the lights you were just able to see what he was heading towards.  A lump caught in your throat.  Various weapons and devices were splayed across the back wall, all of which looked capable of doing serious damage.  
“Tell me Barnes, how much do they know?” Loki asked, in an almost kind tone as his hand skimmed over different objects.  Bucky didn’t answer, instead choosing to keep his head down.  Loki looked over his shoulder with a scowl before he picked up a long, thin spear with hook-like grooves along its blade, turned and plunged it through the left side of Bucky’s chest.  You gasped and stumbled back, but Bucky didn’t move or make a sound.  Blood began to slide down the thin metal blade of the spear, but still, Bucky didn’t even flinch. “Answer me Barnes...” Loki growled as he slowly began to twist and re-angle the spear piercing the brunet’s chest.  This earned Loki pained but muffled groans from Bucky.  You wanted to do something, _anything_ , to help... But you were once again frozen... Damn it! You cursed yourself for being so useless! You told your legs to move, and  your voice to call out, but nothing was going through. 

Bucky’s eyes moved to you once more, you could see the strain in the depths of his brown pools, and a growing determination to... what? What could he be so determined to do in a situation like this!? Protect his friends? No one would blame him for saving his own life if it meant he could fight back another day... right? So why? Why fight now when he is in such a vulnerable situation...? A small smile slowly crept over Bucky’s lips. You didn’t like the feeling that started growing in your stomach.   
“He brought her back to your room before you returned, didn’t he?” Bucky asked with a laugh.  Swiftly Loki turned and kicked Bucky in the jaw, sending him hurtling through the small distance to meet the ground.  The raven haired man then grabbed Bucky by his broken and bloodied jaw and hauled him to his knees.   
“Give me an answer. _Now_.” Loki growled.  Bucky’s mouth formed a firmly straight line,  
“You should be thanking me. If it weren’t for me, he would have taken (Name), and you would have never seen her again.  He tried to play on your old rules for punishment.  He would have taken her back with the other girls, and she would not be the same person you see before you.”  Slowly Loki’s eyes moved to you,  
“Where did he take you?” there was an edge to his voice that made you tremble.   
“I-I,” the tightness in your chest stopped you from speaking at a normal volume, and caused you to stutter uncontrollably.  
“Spit it out Love,” Loki interrupted sternly,  
“T-to the prison cells, w-where Thor is,” You said it all too quickly for your brain to filter, and you wished you could have taken back the second half, you wished it badly... but it couldn’t be done, and as soon as Loki heard Thor’s name, he kicked Bucky squarely in the chest, making the brunet fall onto his back.  Loki then reached for another thin spear and pierced the other side of Bucky’s body,  
“Fetch the mewling quim from his post. Tell him _nothing_ of why I require his presence.” Loki barked out orders to the guards along the walls, one quickly bowed and left the room.  Loki looked up to you and smiled softly.  
“Thank you Pet,” he said, placing his foot heavily on Bucky’s heaving chest. “Is it really so hard to tell the truth?” Loki spoke down to Bucky, who turned his head away in response.  You wanted to apologise to Bucky, but with Loki near, on-edge, and so close to weapons, you thought it best not it say anything else... 

Gentle snapping sounds reached your ears.  Immediately your head snapped up.  That was when you realised how much weight Loki was putting on Bucky.  You wrapped an arm around your mid-section, physically trying to hold yourself together.  You should have stayed in the room... The Teacher may have been there, but at least you wouldn’t have to see this... At least you wouldn’t be forced to watch as Loki tortured Bucky... You tightly closed your eyes.  But that was what you wanted, wasn’t it? You wanted to see Loki dish out punishment... NO! You wanted to see The Teachers punishment, not Bucky’s... You felt the beginnings of tears well in your eyes.  It wouldn’t have been any different.  Being beaten yourself was only just bearable... but seeing someone being bloodied and tortured... You fell to your knees... you just couldn’t take it anymore...

Suddenly the door slammed open, making you jump slightly.  You looked over your shoulder, one muscular figure held a far scrawnier shadow by the scruff of the neck.  The two walked a few steps into the room before the larger shadow threw the smaller towards you.  He landed with a groan and a small knock to the head right next to you, but before you had a chance to reach over and help him, the young looking boy with sandy blond hair quickly stood at attention, his eyes never moving from Loki.  
“How nice of you to join us Johnathan...” Loki said, removing his foot from Bucky’s stomach.  You could see the young boy’s hands trembling ever-so-slightly. “Tell me, you are the main guard for the cells are you not?” Loki stepped over Bucky’s legs and moved towards the two of you.  “Pray tell, how was Barnes able to access the cells?” Loki was losing his patience quickly with the young boy.  “Well...?!” Bucky made eye contact with Johnathan and nodded quickly.  
“I was following the orders of a superior...”the blond haired boy murmured.  
“Under normal situations perhaps I would believe that, but you’re currently being trained by Barnes... and that completely ruins your credibility.” Loki growled, stomping on Bucky’s stomach once more to prove his point.  Again the young boy looked over to Bucky, but quickly refocused on Loki.  
“Sir, I assure you that I am loyal to only you--,”  
“Prove it.” Loki interrupted.  Immediately Johnathan stopped.  The raven haired man smirked as he moved back to the wall holding the weapons.  He picked one particularly nasty looking hooked blade and threw it at Johnathan’s feet.  “Prove your loyalty to me, and kill Barnes.”  Loki made his way over to you, lifted you to your feet and softly wrapped his arm around your waist.

Johnathan reached down and hesitantly picked up the weapon before he made his way over to Bucky, who was very carefully moving to his knees.  You were trembling and Loki’s hold on you did little to steady or calm your nerves.  Everything just had to stop, if it didn’t, you were almost certain you were going to pass out... or throw up... or maybe both.  Johnathan stopped directly in front of Bucky, Loki’s grip on you tightened and he leaned forward, watching Johnathan’s movement closely. 

There was a moment, no longer than a second, where Bucky looked towards you, and then Johnathan, before he lowered his head, resigning himself to his fate.  Johnathan’s hold on the hooked blade tightened, and he swung with all of his force upwards, thrusting the blade into Bucky’s throat.  You were definitely going to throw up.  You had had the feeling several times over the past day alone, but this time you could actually _feel_ the bile rising in your throat and your vision start to blur...  However, that didn’t stop you from seeing the blood spirt from Bucky’s throat, or from hearing his last moments of life as he choked on his own blood.  Loki made his way forward, removing the last form of support you had...

*Loki’s POV*

Bucky fell forward and twitched one last time before the life was completely drained from him. Johnathan was trembling slightly, but the determination in his eyes was refreshing for Loki.  Perhaps he would be worth keeping around after all... but then again... he couldn’t be trusted in the slightest... The raven haired man pushed the thought to the back of his mind, choosing to deal with it later, as he stepped forward and nudged The Winter Soldiers metal arm with his foot.   
“I thought HYDRA’s greatest weapon would be harder to kill than this...” he said with a chuckle and a smirk.  Loki’s emerald green eyes then moved to Johnathan, “you will be moved from your duty on the cells to another area. For now, you are dismissed and confined to your quarters with no communication with anyone but myself.” The young boy looked absolutely stunned.  
“S-sir...?” he said, trying to clarify his order.  
“Don’t make me repeat myself... Guards, take him back.” The raven haired man said, two guards stepped up to the concrete slab and escorted the sandy blond boy out of the room. Loki then turned his attention back to (Name).

That was when it became Loki’s turn to be shocked. (Name) had lost all colours in her cheeks, her (e/c) eyes were firmly fixated on Bucky’s bloodied corpse, and she looked ready to collapse at any moment.  Instantly Loki stepped forward, disappeared into a portal, and reappeared directly in front of (Name), just before she started falling. Needless to say he caught her, and pulled her into his arms.  
“Calm down Pet...” he said, slowly stroking her cheek.

*Your POV*

You regained consciousness about halfway back to Loki’s room.  Loki had carried you the entire way, even after he realised you had woken up.  Your lower lip began to tremble as flashes of Bucky’s bloodied corpse flashed through your mind... You hadn’t known him very long, but no one deserves to die like that... Even if he died protecting his friends, it wasn’t right... You tightly closed your eyes and sheepishly hooked your arms around Loki for more support.  He may have been a cold, dictating murderer, but he was the only person you had, he was the only one who could protect you...  No, wait... that wasn’t true.  Thor had protected you from The Teacher.  He mightn’t have been able to stop him from taking you, but he did stop you from being injured... Your stomach knotted.  He wouldn’t know about what happened... and he probably never would.  What would he think? That Bucky abandoned him to the mercy of Loki? That the only person who has been there for him since he arrived in the Tower just up and disappeared? And what about the Avengers? They definitely had no hope of knowing how Bucky died... What a terrible thing for comrades to deal with... Knowing someone was dead was one thing, it would give some form of closure at least... but not knowing, just having someone disappear off the face of the Earth... It was a truly horrible thing... You gently laid your forehead on Loki’s shoulder, hoping he wouldn’t notice the tears building in the corners of your eyes.

 You were only a little way away from Loki’s room, and you felt your eyes grow heavy, and you could barely keep your head up.  Every thought, worry and unshed tear seemed to drain all of the energy from you.  You wanted to groan in exhaustion, but you were too drained to even manage that.  After all you had seen and all you had been through, you just wanted the day to be over.  You wanted to crawl into a ball, fall asleep and never wake up. You sighed softly and allowed the muscles in your body to completely relax.  You _wanted_ a lot of things... but you would get _none_ of them...

You opened your eyes just in time to see Loki enter the room and move to place you on his bed.  Immediately your muscles tensed as fragments of that night with The Teacher ran through your mind.  You couldn’t even bear to look at the bed, let alone sleep in it. Loki stopped just short of the bed and sighed softly.  
“The filthy creature used my bed, didn’t he?” You weren’t sure why, but what he had just said sounded more like a statement than a question, but you nodded nevertheless.  The raven haired man walked around the large bed to the smaller day bed by the window and placed you near the window before joining you.  “I’ll have the bed replaced tomorrow...” he said dully while pulling you to his chest.   Every light in the room then turned off and you were left with nothing but the moonlight to illuminate the room. 

Cautiously you looked up, and your heart very nearly skipped a beat.   Loki looked absolutely regal in the pale glow of the moonlight.  The white light strengthened his facial structure, while somehow also managing to soften his whole face... Laying with him the way you were made you feel like a lover and not the plaything you actually were.  You didn’t realise you were staring until Loki opened his eyes and gave you a bemused grin.  
“It’s not polite to stare...” Your eyes widened slightly and you quickly lowered your gaze.  
“I-I uh... sorry...” you stuttered quickly.  Loki’s arms shifted around you and slowly you felt yourself relaxing...

***

You hadn’t even realised you had fallen asleep until the nightmare started...

You were back in that room, Bucky was lying on the floor, his blood slowly pooling around his head.  You tried to move away, but your feet were stuck in place.  You could feel your chest begin to heave, and yet it didn’t feel like any air was entering your lungs.  The harder you tried to take in the air, the more breathless you became.   You hadn’t realised straight away, but Bucky’s blood had travelled almost in a straight line to you, down the concrete slab and across perfectly level floor.   The dark crimson liquid was barely an inch from you.  Suddenly that nauseating feeling ripped through you once more, and your knees knocked together.  You wanted to look away.  You tried to look away, but it was almost as if someone was holding your eyelids open.  Your eyes were then forced open even more than they already were, and you felt the cool wetness of fingers on your face, along with the bitterly metallic smell of fresh blood.   A choked sob left your throat and you held your breath.  That was when you heard the shallow breathing from behind you, and a slowing heartbeat.   
“You...” Bucky croaked out sluggishly.  You wanted to cry, and you could have sworn you felt tears slipping down your cheeks, yet your vision was completely clear.  “You could have stopped this...”  A mirror swiftly slid up from underneath the floor, allowing you to see Bucky clearly. Blood began to seep out of the brunet’s mouth, nose and eyes, and you could see the gaping hole in his chin, “You could have saved me...”  Your breathing was shallow, but that was the moment you felt the ability to speak return; only you didn’t speak, you physically _couldn’t_. The terror that ripped through your mind wouldn’t allow it.  So you did the only thing your body would allow.  You screamed.

***

You weren’t sure if you had screamed when you woke up, but given the cold sweat across your body, the tears running down your cheeks, deep breathing and the soreness in the back of your throat, you had guessed that everything you had dreamt you had done, you _really_ had.  Loki groaned as he slowly began to wake up.  Quickly you wiped way the tears and sat up, pulling your knees to your chest, hoping he wouldn’t notice your unsteady breathing.  
“Pet...” Loki yawned as he sat up.  You silently cursed yourself. No matter how many times you wiped the tears away, they kept coming back...  Loki sighed softly and wrapped his arms around you before he pulled you to his chest.

Slowly he began to stroke your hair, but it did little to calm you. What Bucky had said ran through your mind on a continuous loop, and the more you heard it, the more you began to believe it.  You should have done something to stop Loki... If you had even tried to intervene, Loki might have been merciful; he might have spared Bucky’s life, just as he did Thor’s...  Loki’s arms tightened around you,  
“I would not have spared him, even if you had asked it of me.” You froze.  How did he - -, “Barnes was too dangerous to keep alive. If he was able to join The Avengers permanently, he would have been a trump card.  He not only knew the altered layout and security codes of this tower but also all of our strategies going forward...” You heard what Loki said, but his words didn’t make you feel any better... “He chose his fate by aligning with my brother...” You closed your eyes and rested more of your weight on Loki.  He wasn’t going to understand why you were upset; it would just be easier if you kept quiet... “Is that the only thing that’s bothering you?” he asked.  “After what you’ve been through, I understand if you have questions...” Now that he said it, you realised that it wasn’t the only thing on your mind.  
“Is it true...? What the teacher said? Did you really take me completely by chance? Did you want another girl?”  Loki didn’t answer; he just continued to stroke your hair. What was the point of him asking what was on your mind if he didn’t plan on answering any of your questions...!?  Fuck it.  You decided to ask everything that had not made sense to you over the past week, and if he didn’t like it, or didn’t answer, then so be it. “Did you really order me to be sent back with the other girls if I tried to escape?” your tone was bitterer than you had intended it to be, but you didn’t have the patience to correct yourself.  Loki sighed,  
“It was a general rule for all of the girls I invite into my room.” You weren’t quite sure how you felt about his phrasing, but didn’t feel a need to interrupt, “I didn’t think I would need to rescind the order. I thought you wouldn’t leave the room...” He laughed darkly, “I knew He wanted you, but I didn’t know what lengths he would go too to get you.” He murmured.  Your brows furrowed.   
“How did he get a key in the first place...?” Loki’s hand ran over your thigh, pulling you tighter to his body.   
“He killed the woman who was supposed to be your attendant.  She was found dead in one of the unused rooms on the lower levels...” You cautiously glanced over to where The Teacher was chained to the ground by Loki’s illusion.  
“What happened to him?” You could feel his green eyes on you, studying you carefully.  
“Don’t play dumb Pet.  You overheard the deal he made...” Loki slowly pulled you to lay down again, “I sent him away. He will not return as long as you are here...”  You knew about the deal, that was true, but you had hoped Loki would change his mind about leaving him alive.  After seeing what Loki had done to Bucky, you knew he was quite capable of torturing and killing someone... You clenched your jaw.  How could that be all he received as punishment!? He raped you, and killed another one of Loki’s staff! How could he be allowed to just walk away scott-free?! Your hand balled into a tight fist as you tried to bite back the tears.  
“At least he’s gone...” you barely managed to say, not because it wasn’t true; you were pleased you would never have to see his face again, but because your emotions were too high to manage regular speech.  Loki sighed softly and stroked your hair once more.    
“I am only as good as my word (Name).  I had to abide by his terms to get Barnes’ name, otherwise my entire organisation would have been completely exposed to _Them_...”  
“You said to me that you would be the only one to ever touch me.” You murmured, “You didn’t keep your word then...” Instantly you felt The God of Mischief tense, but then relax a short time after.  
“Just go to sleep...” he replied, resting his chin on the top of your head.  You had to let it go... Bury your sadness and hatred, and just survive... That was all you could do.  Your faith in Loki was completely shaken, and the only other people within the Tower who showed compassion for you were either dead, or confined in one way or another...

Just as you began to drift off once more you heard Loki murmur something that surprised you...  
 “I will keep my word Dove... No one but _me_ will touch you from now on...”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what happened to The Teacher and Bucky probably wont be taken well by most people... But this is the way the story has to go, sorry >.>
> 
> Also, just so you know, this is the end of the first arc of the story. This arc was called "The Beginnings" (boring, I know...). The next arc will be about the same length but will become a little more fluffy towards the end (after some darkness that you may not like) ~Just a warning~  
> The third arc is where The Avengers will really shine, and the Fourth... well... The Fourth is my little secret ;D
> 
> Please let me know what you think! Like I said before, I love reading your comments, and they definitely help me write faster~!


	11. Reading by the Fire...

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 11

_***  
_ _“Just go to sleep...” he replied, resting his chin on the top of your head.  You had to let it go... Bury your sadness and hatred, and just survive... That was all you could do.  Your faith in Loki was completely shaken, and the only other people within the Tower who showed compassion for you were either dead, or confined in one way or another..._

_Just as you began to drift off once more you heard Loki murmur something that surprised you..._  
 “I will keep my word Dove... No one but me will touch you from now on...”  
 _***_

*Loki’s POV*

He _really_ didn’t want to wake up... He was too comfortable and too relaxed to want to deal with whomever it was that just entered his room.   He rolled over and wrapped his arm around the sleeping woman beside him, trying to ignore the intruder.  However, they had other own plans, and continued to try to rouse Loki from his slumber.  
“Sir...?” A man’s voice called nervously.  Loki let out a quiet, but irritable sigh and sat up, careful not to wake (Name) from her peaceful sleep.  However, before Loki turned around to verbally abuse the man behind him, he allowed his eyes to graze over her, her curves, her (adj.) skin, her soft breathing... The longer Loki stared at (Name), the more he wanted to wrap his arms around her, and fall back into a deep sleep.  “Sir,” the voice called again.  Loki’s jaw clenched tightly and it took all of his strength not to turn around and slap the interloper.  “S-,”  
“I heard you the _first_ time.  You needn’t continue to call for me like some lost _child_.” Loki snapped as he turned to face the man.  The raven haired man took a deep, steadying breath before continuing. “What do you want?” he asked rubbing the bridge of his nose.  
“The council has convened and has asked you to join them as soon as possible...” he said in a whispered hush.  Loki’s brow rose,  
“It will be in regard to Barnes’s death...” he murmured to himself, “Tell them... Tell them Barnes is dead due to their own _incompetence_ , and that any messenger they send to my room over the next few days will meet with the _same_ fate.” Loki growled, turning around to lie back down once more. 

The man left the room quickly and relayed Loki’s message to The Council, needless to say they were less than pleased with his response, but Loki didn’t care.  He was growing increasingly tired of their presence, and after everything that had happened with Bucky Barnes, he had found himself doubting their power and control over their agents...

He supressed a sigh and laid back down next to (Name).  Seeing her like this, peacefully asleep made an emotion rise in Loki’s chest he couldn’t quite name... He ran the back of his fingers over her cheek.  If only she stayed this calm and willing all the time... A smile pulled at his lips.  However, that would ruin some of the fun.  He _loved_ her inability to filter was in her mind; it always made for amusing conversations and reactions... His smile faltered for a moment.  There in lied the problem... she was still fighting against him... He retracted his hand from her cheek and gently tangled his fingers in her hair.  He had decided. He would make her- - Yet another knock at the door sounded, this time interrupting Loki’s thoughts.  What could they possibly want _now_?

*Your POV*

Waking up after the nightmare was the only time your sleep was interrupted, and you were more than thankful for it... You needed at least _one_ night of peaceful sleep if there was to be any hope of your body recovering...  However, after you fell asleep, you fell into a dark, dreamless sleep that unsettled your mind...

When you finally mustered enough energy to open your eyes, the room was dark and the sky outside was barely lit by the setting sun and there was a slight chill to the air.  You rolled over, half expecting Loki to either hold you still or scold you for waking him up, but there was nothing... You sat up and looked around.  The room was just as dark as the sky, a few lit candles were spread across the room as well as a lit fire on the wall opposite - - Your thoughts stopped.  Loki’s bed was missing... Loki had said he would have it replaced, but you were amazed they could remove it without waking you up... But then again, you were so _exhausted_ that an earth-quake probably wouldn’t have woken you.  You shook your head and turned your attention back to the rest of the room, ignoring the big empty space where the bed once was.  The candles did little to stop the encroaching darkness from outside, it was becoming too intense for the candles to fight against and you could see them slowly fading into nothingness. 

Sluggishly you peeled back the sheets and swung your legs over the edge of the bed.  You knew you wanted sleep, but you really didn’t think you’d sleep through the entire day... and the fact that you wanted to go back to sleep as soon as you stood didn’t make you feel any better about the whole situation...

You stretched your stiff limbs and looked towards the window, half expecting the hologram of old New York to be there... but... it wasn’t.  The site before you was the devastation left in the wake of Loki and his army... Your brows furrowed.  What was going on...?  You reached for one of the lamps and tried to turn it on, however nothing happened.  Your lips pursed, had someone cut the power or something? You slumped your shoulders and began to walk through the room.  That was when you noticed that Loki had not only left the bed, but he was nowhere in the room at all... You turned and looked towards the bathroom.  The door was open, but no one was inside. Your brows furrowed.  You weren’t sure why, but the slow forming knot in your stomach told you that something wasn’t quite right, however, you pushed the thought away as you continued towards the middle of the room, moving closer to the cushioned love seat opposite the fire. 

You moved an open book from the seat to the coffee table in front of you and sat down with a sigh.  The warmth of the fire was nice, but it did little to calm your nerves... You tried to get your mind on something, _anything_ , else, but you just continued to imagine ridiculous scenarios.  What if someone broke in...? You rolled your eyes. No. There would be the sound of people fighting if that were the case... Maybe the Tower blew a fuse?  You scoffed; as if... The Tower was built by Tony Stark; there was no way a fuse could blow.  You breathed in deeply. Just stop it... you closed your eyes and rested your head on the back of the seat.

Suddenly a tremor ran through your back, and you swiftly sat straight.  Loki had left you alone in a room filled with bad and unpleasant memories, and it felt as though they were about to catch up with you... You looked over your shoulder to the space where Loki’s bed had once been.  You blinked once and a waterfall like effect rained down over your eyes.  When it disappeared, a sharp gasp caught in your throat.  You were transported back to _that_ night...

The lights were so bright that they burned your eyes.  The gasping sounds of... Who...? Who was it...? You blinked through the haze.  You gasped loudly as _he_ , The Teacher, pinned your clone to the bed.  No... No, not again! You turned away and buried your head in your hands, trying to break this spell.  
“No, no...” you mumbled to yourself as the struggle continued behind you.  “This isn’t real...” You squeaked as your twin fought against The Teacher.  Something... you needed something to drag you out of it... Your eyes hurriedly scanned the room, trying to find somethi - - The fire... You could still feel the warmth of it on your skin even though in this ‘reality’, it was empty.  You tightly closed your eyes and shook your head, trying to shake this living hell from your mind.  It was in front of you... the fire... it _is_. It’s _there_ , right _there_! You opened your eyes. The fireplace was still empty... No... No.  
“Then you shouldn’t mind if I use you until I get my fill...” you heard The Teacher bark. Wait... Something crossed over your line of sight, and the raging fire within the fireplace returned.  You thought you felt the presence of a hand on your shoulder, but in the limbo between dream and reality, it slipped from your mind.  You were only left for a moment in that state, a presence next to you brought the last of your mind to Earth.  
“Forgive me Dove.  There was an issue the _idiots_ couldn’t handle without me...” Loki said as he all but collapsed onto the couch next to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. “Did you sleep well?” he asked, placing the book you had moved to the coffee table on his knees.  The lights returned to normal, and overwhelmed everything but the fire in front of you.   
“Yes...” you murmured softly, not really paying attention to him.  What was that...?  It was such a strange, yet familiar sensation... A dream, but while you were wide awake... Your brows furrowed... Where had you felt it before?

Loki glanced over to you, your eyes were lowered, but you could feel his calculated gaze on you.  The raven haired man leaned forward and placed his chin on your shoulder.  
“I know you’ve been through a lot of late, but that doesn’t excuse rudeness...” he whispered into your ear, making you shudder.  You turned to face him,  
“I’m sorry...” you could tell your voice was dull, you didn’t intend it to be, but you just couldn’t force any energy or emotion into it... Loki ran his hand through your hair and pulled you tighter against his chest.  
 “Try again...” Loki said, not half as menacingly as you had expected.  Hesitantly you hooked your arm around his neck and leaned into him,  
“I’m sorry...” you murmured again, tightening your grip on him slightly.  Loki chuckled softly and rested his head on your own as he flipped through the pages of the book.

Suddenly the lights flickered on and off with a rapid speed.  Loki sighed irritably as someone knocked at the door.  
“Unless you’re here to replace my bed, _leave_.” Loki growled.  
“Sir, please, the arc reactor is still not--,”  
“I’m well aware of that!” Loki snapped, making you jump.  He let out a loud huff and relaxed his shoulders. “Cut the power to all but the gates and Tower.” Loki barked the order, the person on the other side tried to protest, but he was cut off by Loki growling the order once more.  A few minutes later the lights returned to normal, and you felt Loki’s irritation begin to slip away. 

***

You didn’t know how long you sat in silence looking at the slow dying fire, the crackling orange coals and the dancing embers, but as time wore on you found yourself moving your gaze between Loki, the book he was reading and the fine details on his black shirt.  The raven haired man shifted in his seat,  
“I know Midgardian’s tend to have an issue sitting still for long periods of time without anything to hold their attention,” Your eyebrow quirked,  
“Says the man reading a book to keep his mind busy...” you muttered mindlessly.  Loki chuckled,  
“So you are feeling better...” he said with a smirk. Your brows furrowed. What did he mean by that...? “The television broadcasting has been stopped, but I’m sure there would be some sort of entertainment centre in the Tower...” Loki said, removing his arm from around your shoulders.  You sat there and thought. It had been weeks since you had seen a TV show or movie... but... you didn’t want to leave... Yes, the room was filled with bad memories, but outside of the room was even worse... You shook your head and leaned back into Loki’s chest.  
“No, this is fine...” you said. Loki’s free hand tangled itself in your hair.  
“Would you like me to read to you?” he asked coolly. You hesitated but eventually nodded.  Loki flipped the book back to the first page, you were about to tell him not to do so, but he started reading before you had a chance.   
“It was a bright cold day in April, the clocks were striking thirteen.  Winston Smith...” Loki’s voice was slow and even, and before he could even get halfway through the first chapter, you felt yourself drifting back into sleep, soothed by the beating of Loki’s heart and the presence of his arm around you - - Wait... what? In your dozy state you could barely keep a hold of any thought, but this one seemed far easier to keep track of than any of the rest.  He was the exact same man who had tortured and caused Bucky’s death, and the same man who released a murderer and your rapist... You should hate him... So why were you acting like his lap dog...?  He would lie and cheat to get his way--  
“People always presume I’m lying when I tell them things...” Loki jolted you out of your thoughts, “Perhaps it is a by-product of being known as The God of Mischief... but mischief does not always start with lies,” he chuckled, “it often does, but not all the time...” his fingers gently brushed against the skin of your neck and collarbone. “Understand (Name) that _man_ suffered in his own personal hell for hours until his psyche was broken completely...” Your eyes widened.  How did he? “I regret that you are still unsettled with Barnes’ death, but it was an inevitable,” he closed the book and placed it on the table in front of you both before he shifted the two of you around in the seat so you were laying on your side and Loki on his back.  It was a tight squeeze on the couch, and awkward... _Your_ legs were too long for the couch, let alone Loki’s, and the width of the seat was definitely only meant for one person... “Just try to push it from your mind...” he finished.  You wanted to laugh, but stopped yourself.  ‘Push it from your mind’? That was easier said than done...

***

The next morning you awoke on Loki’s new bed, which was far more comfortable than the couch.  You were no longer tired, and felt much better than the night and days before...  You shifted under the heavy blankets, feeling too hot for comfort. However, a strong arm around you stopped you from moving.  You settled back down into the plush pillows and mattress, and, to your surprise, you began to settle and calm down...  
“You’re finally awake...” Loki murmured his voice sluggish and low.  Your eyes trailed over the intricate stitching and detailing of the white bed sheets, too afraid to look back at Loki.  “Tell me Pet, would you protest to spending a few more days couped up in this room...?”He asked, running his lips across your silk covered shoulder. “I have no desire to deal with the idiots outside...” his fingers found your chin and turned your head to face him.  The smile on his lips seemed foreign to you... Wait... had you even seen a genuine smile from him...? This was probably just some ploy to get you to drop your guard. “Pet?” he said, sterner than before.  
“That sounds fine...” your voice sounded almost like a child’s, for a moment there you hadn’t even realised it was you who spoke.  Loki chuckled and gently kissed down your neck.  
“Then wait here while I shower...” he ordered while removing himself from the bed. “Unless you’d prefer to join me...” he said with a grin. Your eyes widened and your mouth fell open slightly. He chuckled again, “Next time, pet, you won’t be given the choice...” he warned, walking towards the bathroom.

You relaxed and laid back down after you were sure Loki was gone.  So many emotions were running through your head and stomach that you could barely keep track...  But there was one thing you knew.  Submit to him... Submit to him and everything would be fine... You bit your lower lip and you buried your head in the pillows.  You knew you had to submit... but every fibre of your being protested against it... You were content to stay in the bed, until Loki had asked you to stay there... Your (e/c) eyes moved towards the bathroom door.  Just bear with it... Maybe he’ll grow bor- No.  You didn’t want him to get bored.  If he was bored with you, he would more than likely give you to his underlings, or worse, the _Chitauri_... You sighed.  You were stuck between a rock and a hard place... But... perhaps it was the lesser of two evils... Loki wasn’t solely filled with hatred, there had been times he had been kind and gentle... and certainly to the Chitauri you would be nothing more than a continuous source of release... They would abuse and use you until your body gave out... At least with Loki you had some sort of care, right?

You didn’t even hear Loki as he walked out of the bathroom, but when you caught a glimpse of him, a bright blush spread across your cheeks.  He was _completely_ naked, and seemed to be quite comfortable with that fact... You hid yourself under the blankets, trying to break the spell his body had you under. Damned pelvic sorcery... You curled yourself into the ball and pretended to have fallen asleep.  You felt a pressure on the bed right near your nose.  You tightly held onto your breath, and tried to stop your body from shivering.  Another, you presumed, hand rested on the bed behind your head, and a warmth entered your body from the space above you. Oh god... he was leaning over you... One of his hands pulled the covers away from your face.  
“Aren’t you a little old for hide-and-seek?” He asked. You -no-so-subtly- looked down.  A hot blush coloured your cheeks; he was still naked.  Damn it... he needed to put some clothes on... He may not be your favourite person in the world, but damn him, he was attractive... The knowledge that your body, in some way, wanted him irritated you to no end...

The sudden presence of his hand on your skin was both soothing and terrifying. An oddly pleasurable shiver ran up your spine and you inhaled sharply.  A seductive smile pulled at the corners of Loki’s moth.  
“Now dove, I’ve given you one day to recover, but after a week without you, I do require your services...” he said, leaning down to gently kiss your neck.  He slowly rolled you onto your back, giving himself access to your chest and whatever else he desired.  “Good girl...” he whispered, lowering himself onto you.

The damp warmth of his flesh made you bite your lower lip.  It felt so good... You softly placed your hand on his shoulder blade as he untied your robe.  The sudden change in temperature made goose bumps rise on your skin, and caused your nipples to harden.   Loki smirked and leaned forward to gently take the pink bud between his teeth as his hands skimmed over your now exposed skin.  Damn, damn, damn...!  Why was your body doing this to you...? Loki’s hand found its way to your womanhood.  A flash of The Teachers face across your eyes made you pull away.

Loki slowly coaxed you back towards him and gingerly kissed and sucked his way up your neck,  
“Hush (Name)...” his fingertips lightly trailed down your body. “Just focus on me...” his voice was filled with a mixture of authority and kindness, which served to confuse you. “I was going to take it slow with you after your ordeal...” he captured your lips and gently nipped and sucked on them, “but I cannot wait...” he said, pressing a finger into your folds. 

You shifted on the bed and your knees rose to rest on either side of Loki as you clenched the sheets tightly. He began to slowly move the digits within you before slipped two more slender fingers into you, trying to find that special place within you.  It only took a moment for him to hit it.  The next thing you knew you were moaning and bucking against his hand with such intensity that you were left breathless almost immediately.  Loki chuckled and began slowly stroking his already hardened manhood as he lined himself up with your entrance. The raven haired man then pressed himself deep into you, forcing more loud moans from your throat.  Oh-so-slowly he began rolling his hips into you.  

It was an agonisingly slow pace that made you squirm in an attempt to gain for friction.  However it did little good, Loki had too much control of the situation.  You gasped, trying to make your voice work.  
“P-please, Sir...” you huffed.  Loki slowed his pace further,  
“Please what...?” he asked with a sly smirk.  He then completely stopped moving; his presence within you was pleasant, but not enough... Could you really say it?  This was the man who forced himself on you, and left you to - - He rolled his hips forward slowly, and, as if your body had a mind of its own, it spoke.  
“P-Please... harder...” you groaned.  Loki chucked and softly sucked on your breast,  
“Very well then...” He sat up and pulled you onto his lap before moving closer to the dark, wooden headboard of the bed and pressed your back into it, sinking himself deeper into your wet folds. 

The unmoving and rigid headboard behind you gave Loki the ability to enter you with incredible speed and depth; with every movement he made, new waves of pleasure coursed through your blood and made you moan and groan in ways you didn’t think possible.  His lips found the burn mark on your neck and when his warm tongue began to circle your flesh, a pained gasp left your throat.  But then, something odd happened... The pain and pleasure mixed, and you no longer feared Loki touching the mark on your neck, in fact, you _craved_ it.

Almost as if he had read your mind, Loki began to greedily suck on the mark.  A stifled moan built in your throat and your hand moved to tangle in Loki’s raven hair while your legs tightened around his waist, urging him further into you.  Deep-seeding warmth began to spread within your stomach and the continuous contact with Loki’s hot skin drove it further.  The mixture of pain and pleasure was almost strong enough to make you pass out, and caused your vision to blur.  Loki’s muffled groans into your neck made you shudder and your womanhood throb.  Then you felt it.  Your body was ravaged with a flood of pleasure, and your entire body tensed, making it nearly impossible to breathe.

Loki slowed his thrusts, deeply riding out the last moments of your climax.  When your body relaxed the raven haired prince removed his mouth from your neck and began to chuckle,  
“My-my (Name),” he said breathlessly, “I did not expect you to be a little masochist...” he leaned forward and gently brushed his lips across your own.  “However, as amusing as it may be for me to watch your face contort in pleasurable pain little dove, you got ahead of yourself and allowed your body to release...”Loki’s hips rolled forward, eliciting a small moan from your lips, “and I have yet to experience the same joy...” The wanton need in his voice sent a shudder up your spine, and you could feel the need for release return to your nether regions. 

Suddenly Loki dropped you onto the bed, which was slightly more of a shock than it should have been.  You cautioned a glace up to him,  
“On all fours...” he ordered while gently stroking his throbbing manhood.  You dropped onto all fours and Loki grabbed your hips to drag you around to a new place in the bed before he re-entered you.  You moaned and arched your hips back, giving him easier access to your womanhood, which he used to his advantage, pushing further and harder into you.   However, it wasn’t enough... The friction wasn’t building fast enough, and you wanted more.  You tried to move your hips in time with Loki’s, but you were quickly scolded by a rough squeeze to your arse.  
“Do not get impatient, Pet...” he said sternly, pressing your chest down into the plush bed.  Loki took a few moments just to revel in the tightness of your inner walls before he continued to pound into you once more. After a moment, he suddenly stopped thrusting into you and reached forward, taking hold of your arms, and pulled them backwards so your body weight and movement was controlled completely by him. 

The sudden change in position made you grit your teeth as it forced Loki’s member into a completely new area within you.  The arch that your back was coerced into pinched your lower back, and was only made worse when Loki guided your legs together with his knees.  However the growing pressure and pinching in your back was all but nullified once he began to move. 

Having your legs together made Loki feel twice the size he actually was.  Loki’s fast, deep and hard thrusts forced more moans from your throat, and you could feel the muscles in your stomach begin to constrict.  You rolled your head back and tried to stop the loud moans from escaping your throat, but Loki’s groans from behind you egged you on further and further until the burning fire in your stomach returned and coursed through the rest of your body, breaking the rope around your stomach.  Your entire body convulsed as your second climax in a short space of time washed through your body, also forcing Loki to release within you. 

As the last of the pleasurable wave left you, your body went limp and the only thing holding you up was Loki, however, his own fatigue quickly caught up with him, and he collapsed on top of you.  The soft, plush bed was a welcomed change from what you had just gone through, however you were more than content when Loki slowly pulled himself from you and moved to lie down next to you with his arms wrapped around you. 

***

You laid there tangled in each other’s limbs and completely exposed for you don’t even know how long... It was all a haze of half-dozing sleep and surprisingly sweet embraces; it was... dare you say it, _nice_.  
“Tell me Pet, is there anything you desire?” he asked, burying his head into your hair.  
“... To walk in the sun...” you mumbled into the covers without thinking.  Loki didn’t respond, he only shifted slightly on the bed so he could get a better look at you,  
“That’s not exactly what I had in mind...” his hand skimmed down your side before he pulled you tighter to him, “If you don’t want to give me a proper answer, you will get _nothing_...” he said, trailing his fingers over the skin of your cheek.  You froze.  Your response had angered him.  You needed to make up for it quickly...  
“Food...and water... please...” You said, stumbling over your words.  Loki silently chuckled to himself for a moment,  
“J.A.R.V.I.S. please let the lowlifes in the kitchen know that my pet requires food and water...”

*Loki’s POV*

The raven haired prince held onto her tightly.  She was _still_ fighting against him... The first night she had done as he had asked out of fear, but after knowing, and then being reminded what it would be like without him, he was sure she would see the light... but no.  There were moments she would open up, but they were so few and far between that if Loki wasn’t paying attention, he would miss them... He gritted his teeth... Why? Had he not shown her kindness? Damned mortals...  
“If you don’t want to give me a proper answer, you will get _nothing_...” Loki tried his best to stay calm, and what was the easiest way to do that? Touch her.  Caress her...  His hand moved to gently stroke her cheek.  
“Food... and water... please...” she said quickly.  One of Loki’s eyebrows rose and he tried to suppress the chuckle.  She would learn... _slowly_... He then thought about her request. Of course... (Name) hadn’t eaten yesterday, and had probably been fed poorly while in the cells - - He stopped himself there. The less he thought of Thor, the better.  
“J.A.R.V.I.S. let the lowlifes in the kitchen know my Pet is hungry...” the raven haired man called to the AI.

*Your POV*

Another night with the God of Mischief and you felt yourself becoming too comfortable... It was an odd sensation that you had thought you had forgotten to feel... Why...? Why was he being like that? Loki didn’t threaten you, his eyes weren’t dark, and, other than when you had sex, his voice was calm... Four days passed like this, _peaceful_.  Just when you started feeling better about his sudden change in emotions, you woke up to something different, something was _off_.  Loki wasn’t next to you. You slowly sat up and looked around.  Almost immediately you caught sight of him, he was - - Your brows furrowed.  He was fully dressed for the first time in days, and looked just about ready to leave. 

Loki’s eyes flickered to you,  
“Come dove,” he reached out to you, gesturing for you to move closer.  Hesitantly you left the bed, pulling the loose sheets around your body as a makeshift dress, and made your way over to him. “I have a gift for you...” he said.  Your eyebrows rose. What could he possibly have to give you...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra bonus points if you know what book Loki was reading! (without Googling it)
> 
> Anyway, if you haven't already figured out, I hate writing chapters where nothing happens - and this is one of those. I needed some more Loki time for the reader... buuuut... I dunno... Please let me know what you think because I don't know..
> 
> What else...? Uuuuum.... Did this chapter jump around too much? I just... I... I don't know :| Please tell me what you think please... I'm an indecisive person in the best of times, so I will pretty much doubt every decision I make with the plot/story...
> 
> (Also, something in this chapter will have a role later on. Can you guess what it is?)
> 
> -Fun to know for the (somewhat distant) future, there shall be a shower sex scene ;D I don't know why, but lemons in the shower seem like more fun than a normal lemon-


	12. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve done a sort of cover for the story (used on deviantart and fanfiction.net) here’s the link if you want to see it (you can download the original psd. If you want to give it your own colours)  
> http://fav.me/d89sl9z
> 
> Sorry for the late update!! I had some issues writing the Lemon version for Clint in the 7 Minutes in Heaven series, and I was commissioned to do a oneshot (that took up 17 pages in word @.@) and then I wanted to write a feels filled oneshot because that was the mood I was in... So this chapter was pushed back a week. (but I’ll make up for that by solely updating this over the next two or so weeks)

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 12

_***_  
Loki’s eyes flickered to you,  
“Come dove,” he reached out to you, gesturing for you to move closer.  Hesitantly you left the bed, pulling the loose sheets around your body as a makeshift dress, and made your way over to him. “I have a gift for you...” he said.  Your eyebrows rose. What could he possibly have to give you...?  
***

You stepped forward cautiously.   
“Now Pet, I cannot allow you to walk around _outside_... However,” You thought back over the past few days, and you were shocked.  He had... He had _actually_ heard and considered your request... “I can give you free rein over certain areas of The Tower...” His fingertips gently trailed over your cheek.  Wait... what...? What had he just said...? You couldn't believe it.... You were allowed to walk freely through the tower?  No... That couldn’t be right...  “From you vacant expression, I suppose I will have to repeat myself...” Your brows furrowed, but before you had a chance to voice your irritation Loki continued.  “You will be able to walk around freely in this floor and the floor above.  If, for some reason, you feel a need to travel passed either of these two floors, you will be on your own.  I have not given orders for the staff or Chitauri to treat you differently, but as long as they do not see you, it should not matter... Do you understand?” he asked.  You nodded.  Loki smiled and gently pushed your (h/c) hair behind your ears.  “Now, to ensure your safety...” he offered you a small golden pendant on the end of a thin black chain.  You tilted your head to the side slightly as you studied the pendant intently.   
“What is it...?” you asked, running your fingers over the intricate yet simple detailing.  Loki placed it over your head and adjusted the length so it reached just passed your collarbone.  
“It has a few names... Shield Knot, Earth Square, Quaternary Knot... all you need to know is that it will protect you from any unwanted presence...” his fingers skimmed down from the pendant to your stomach. “Except for me of course...” he finished with a smirk.  You looked down and played with the cool metal.  
“Thank you...?” you weren’t sure if that was the proper response to give... but, it seemed appropriate... Right...? The more you thought about it, the more you felt a smile pulling at your lips.  It was _real_... he was actually letting you walk around without being escorted or guarded... It was a gift you wouldn’t refuse or take for granted. 

The happiness and joy in your chest was overwhelming and you _literally_ had no control over yourself.  You jumped up and wrapped your arms around Loki like an excited child. His lack of movement or speech made you question what he was thinking, so you quickly removed your arms from the raven haired man. The small but evident smile on his lips made your stomach flutter, and when he leaned down to gently capture your lips in a gentle kiss that feeling was multiplied tenfold. 

Your hand settled on his cheek as his arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer. His tongue entered your mouth without warning or permission, but you neither protested nor fought against it.  Your other hand moved from holding the bed sheet tightly against your body to the material covering Loki’s chest, in doing so the sheet was able to slip free from your body and you were left completely bare in front of Loki.  To your surprise, he didn’t pick you up and throw you to the bed, nor did his hands run over your unmentionables... Instead he broke the kiss and gently licked and sucked the length of your neck.  You closed your eyes and allowed your head to roll back.  You didn’t want to admit it... but you were _enjoying_ it... Loki’s hands skimmed down your sides, and slowly you felt the presence of silk material spreading over your body.  His hands then moved to your hips and he pulled you tightly against his own as his tongue slowly danced over your skin.   
“What made you do this?” you half asked half moaned- - Wait... what? Why would you ask such a thing!? Loki pulled away with his brows raised as he considered his response.  You wanted to skulk away and hide... You lowered your gaze and tried to hide your embarrassment.  He would probably snatch the pendant back and force you to stay in the room now...  
“Why did I do _what_?” he asked with a serious expression you couldn’t quite read.    
“E... Everything over the past few days...” you murmured scarcely above a whisper.  Again Loki paused to consider his answer,  
“Because you were left to the mercy of _that_ man, and you are still haunted by his actions...” Loki’s eyes were dark and you had to tense your muscles just to stop your body trembling. “If I had had enough foresight to see his intentions, I wouldn’t have left you here... I will make sure that will not happen again...”  You weren’t sure what it was in his words that made you do it, but before the rational side of your mind had a change to object, the impulsive side had taken control. 

You took a small step towards him, placed your hands on his chest, and rekindled the kiss from just a moment ago. Loki’s hands came to rest on your lower back as he pulled you into him. This was not the same as any other kiss you had shared or been forced to endure. No. It was calm, _sweet_... It was a kiss you would share with a _lover_ , not a _Master_... Your body didn’t stop, but your mind did.  Did you... did you just consider Loki your Lover...? While you were still trying to break your state of shock, Loki broke the kiss.  
“Do you wish to look around...?” he asked, running his hands over your skin.  You looked up and nodded slowly.   Loki’s hand moved to your back as he guided you out of the door and towards the elevator. 

***

The elevator trip didn’t take long, _thank God_... Being trapped in such a small area with Loki, and having his gaze so obviously focused on you made your stomach churn with nerves... It was only when the doors finally opened and you were let out of the elevator that you felt capable of breathing once more.

Loki led you along a vacant hallway, quickly showing you the empty rooms and open spaces that splintered off from the long, never-ending walkway.  It was a surprisingly nice change.  The Tower was usually dark, dank and dreary, and filled with legions of Chitauri soldiers; but now? Now it was warm, the windows weren’t covered with cardboard or cloths, and it actually felt _homely_... Loki had taken hold of your arm to lead you around, but you stopped and let your arm slip free from his grasp when you caught sight of a vision that left you absolutely _breathless_...

The hallway opened up to a large open space that shone a bright yellow orange in the morning light.  A solitary white daybed sofa sat directly in the line of the sunlight.  The white concrete walls were shining different hues of yellow and the few reflective surfaces within the otherwise bare kitchen bounced the light around the room majestically.  You walked closer to the large window, and when you realised what you were seeing, you could have easily broken down and cried.  Just like the one in Loki’s room, this window housed a hologram of old New York... People walking in the sunlight, going to work, playing in the parks... the way everything used to be... You stepped further away from the raven haired man and towards the floor length window.  You reached out and gently pressed your hand to the cool glass.  A ripple effect spread out across the window from your hand.   
“It is a sensitive piece of technology...” Loki said as he wrapped his arms around your waist.  You shuddered slightly when his tongue gently ran across your earlobe.  
“Why do you have them?” you asked absentmindedly, still too enthralled with the hologram to pay him any real attention.  The raven haired man breathed in your scent and tightened his hold on you.  
“The humans who stay here find it comforting... A strange kind of pathology really...”  
“What about the one in your room?” the raven haired man froze. Shit.  You had done it _again_...  Loki sighed and shifted his hold on you.  
“Return to my room by Three o’clock.” He muttered softly while turning your head to a large, ornate wall clock.  Ten o’clock.  You had five hours to waste.  You noticed a small pile of books beneath the clock.  At least you’d have some form of entertainment... “If you find yourself bored here, you are more than welcome to return to my room earlier than that...” You turned your attention back to Loki and nodded,  
“I understand, thank you.” You replied with a small smile.  Loki’s hand slipped to your thigh and squeezed the tender flesh.   
“Don’t be late.” He whispered gruffly before leaning down to gently suck on the mark on your neck.  A soft moan caught in your throat as his fingers moved to tease your nether regions.  You arched your back slightly as a gasp escaped your throat.  Even after a week filled with his touches you still reacted like it was a completely new sensation.  Loki chuckled and released you, “I will be waiting.” He said before leaving you alone.

***

You lounged on the daybed for little over an hour, flipping through the few books you could endure to read, but it eventually became boring... So you decided to slowly wander around the penthouse suite.  There were a few locked doors along the hallway that couldn’t quite block the smell of burned belongings, and other doors that lead to rooms which were completely empty with large holes in the walls and rubble covering the floor.  Then, at the end of the hallway there was a door that opened up to a large lounge room.  The majority of the furniture had been moved to one side of the room, and it looked as though this was the room the daybed had come from. 

You stepped into the open room.  The perfectly polished tiled floor was cool against your feet sending a tingle through your legs.  You took a deep breath in.  The air was hotter and stuffier than in the first room or hallway and made your throat slightly dry.  Your (e/c) eyes moved around the room.  The marble topped bar was empty, the bottles that were once housed there had either been carelessly removed, or broken in a scuffle.  From the cracks, dents and scratches in the walls, floor and ceiling you guessed it would be the fight that had broken the bar shelves.  A glint in the corner of your eye caught your attention.  The glass to the outside was boarded with cheap looking plasterboard, blocking the doors but allowing light to just filter through.  You walked up to the covered window and ran your hand over the wooden board, but you stopped when another, slightly shinier glint caught your eye.  When you realised what it was, a mixture of shock and excitement ran through your core.  A large, metal hammer sat squarely in the middle of the lounge room, causing the wood to buckle and crack underneath its monstrous weight.  _Thor’s hammer_...  You quickly stepped over the spider web-like cracks in the floor and moved closer to the weapon. 

The closer you moved to the hammer, the more you could feel its energy swirling around you.  It was like an invisible whirlwind that drew you closer and closer while also managing to pull all of the air out of your lungs.  You knelt down next to the weapon and cautiously trailed your fingertips over the engraved metal.  It was mostly blank, but around the edges was detail so intricate and never-ending that you could hardly begin to truly admire its craftsmanship.  
 _“Whosoever holds this hammer, should he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor_...” A cold shudder ran up your spine as the words echoed in your mind.  You shook your head to clear your mind before letting out a soft huff,  
“It’s not gonna work...” you murmured to yourself with a small smile. You pondered the idea of looking like a complete and utter idiot... but considering there was no one around to laugh or make snide remarks, you decided to give it a shot.  You stood up and placed your hand on the cool leather handle.  “One... Two...” you tightened your hold on the handle and pulled with all your might - - _and_ nothing happened.  It didn’t even shift an inch...  You widened your stance a little and tried again, but it resulted in the same thing... _nothing at all_.  You sighed and placed your hands on your hips.  Something in the back of your mind scolded you for thinking you could actually lift his hammer...  But still... it was a fun thought... You took a deep breath in and moved on from the hammer quickly, choosing to delve deeper into the other areas of the room.

You walked through a large squared archway which led to an open and unscathed room.  Like the other half of the room, glass made up a vast majority of the room; but unlike the other side of the room, the glass was clear and gave you a perfect view of the devastated remnants of New York.  Why wasn’t there a hologram on this window...? You forced your eyes away from the destruction-filled scene and glanced around the room. Stairs... _Stairs_ would take you up to the roof... the roof means _outside_.  You had never moved so fast in your entire life.  In less than a second you had cleared the room and had made it more than halfway up the grand, curving staircase.  When you reached the top, your heart fell a little bit.  It wasn’t the roof... well... not exactly anyway.  The stairs led to an extraordinarily large, albeit nearly empty bedroom. 

A bed sat in front of the stairs, clean sheets still covering the mattress.  Empty bookshelves were placed around the room, and a few stray books littered the floor and bed.  On the same white wall as the stairs was a combustion heater with a shaggy rug and chairs in front of it.   You walked over to the king size bed and plopped down before turning your attention to the possibility of going outside. 

The walls to the outside world were made of glass and there were sliding doors on the far side of the room that led to an extra-large balcony.   You stood and quickly skipped over to the doors.  It was a long shot... but maybe, _just maybe_... You placed your hand on the handle and took a deep breath in.   
“Please... please...” you tightly shut your eyes and turned the handle, but when you tried to push or pull the door open, it didn’t move... You sighed and relaxed the muscles in your neck, shoulders and arm, allowing your head to fall forward and rest on the warm glass. _Of course_ it was locked... Was it really too much to ask? To feel the direct warmth of the sun on your skin? To breathe in the fresh air...? To feel the wind in your hair and hear the birds sing? You shifted to your side and pressed a little more of your body against the glass. This was probably the closest you would be able to get to the outside world for a _very_ , _very_ long time... Your (e/c) eyes moved to the bed once more and you let out a soft sigh.  You were going to be in the room for a while, so why not be comfortable?

You grabbed the sheets and blankets off of the bed and neatly laid them down in the sunlight of the late morning sun.  Usually you would be averse to laying in the sun for long periods of time, but after several weeks of being couped up inside and in the darkness, it was a welcomed change.  You threw the pillows down before grabbing one of the few books that remained in the room and moving to lie down in the surprisingly soft blankets. 

Nuzzling into the covers, you flipped the book open.  You took a deep breath in before releasing it, allowing your muscles to completely relax, and also allowing you to notice _something_... A spicy, musky scent that you had become accustomed too over the past few days... _Loki_... This must have been his personal penthouse suit until... Your brows furrowed... until what?  You mentally face palmed; until Thor turned up and smashed his way through the different rooms...  You rolled onto your back and laid the open book on your chest.  Why wouldn’t he repair the damage and then move back up here...?  He clearly wasn’t a people person, and you could tell a close proximity with his underlings only served to irritate him... Your head rolled towards the window and you stared blankly out at the crumbling buildings, contemplating the whole situation.

***

You hadn’t even realised you had fallen asleep until the presence of strong arms around you woke you up.  You were being lifted... A sense of weightlessness washed over you as you shifted around in Loki’s arms.  Your eyes slowly cracked open.  The sky was deathly dark and the room was only lit by the moonlight.   The sheets you had been laying in were crumpled and in a knotted mess. You yawned softly and allowed your eyes to wander around the room once more.

It was only when Loki began to walk down the stairs that he realised you had woken up, and once he reached even ground he placed you down.   
“Was this where you used to stay?” You asked softly.   
“How could you tell?”  
“Besides the books...” you trailed off and you felt your cheeks heat up.  You had only really made the connection when you recognised Loki’s scent on the bed sheets... Before then you hadn’t put a lot of thought into it at all... It wasn’t that embarrassing to admit you could recognise such a thing... was it...? “W-Why didn’t you stay up in this level?” you asked, trying to change the subject a little.  
“The room I have now was only supposed to be temporary, however the repairs for this level have taken far longer that I had intended them to be...” you both began to walk through the lounge room, Loki glanced at the hammer as you passed it. “And I have no interest in seeing a reminder of that _useless hack_ every time I walk into this room...”  
“Why _is_ his hammer here...?” you asked as he guided you out of the room. Loki stopped for a moment.  
“The blundering fool came here when his mind was clouded by anger and hurt.” A wicked grin pulled at his lips. “He lost his worthiness to hold Mjolnir, and I have yet to finds someone able to remove it...” Loki’s forefinger trailed up your neck and stopped at the point of your chin. “But that can wait.  I told you to return by _three o’clock_ , it is nearly _eight_.” His voice was dark, and you could tell what was on his mind... _Punishment_... You had to think of something, _anything_ that would help to sway his mood.  
“So doesn’t that mean you were late as well...?” you asked before Loki had a chance to finish his thought.  Well... if you wanted to _irritate_ him _more_ , that was _definitely_ the question to ask.  One of his eyebrows rose and a smirk pulled at his lips,  
“Yes, it does.” His tone told you that he was amused.  That was a good sign, right?  
“Well then, why don’t we skip any unnecessary pain, especially on my part, and move straight onto the fun...?”  
“What makes you think I want sex tonight?”   _‘Because you always do’_ you weren’t strong enough to say it, but you certainly thought it.   
“I didn’t say you wanted sex, I said you wanted _fun_...”  
“Oh? And what _fun_ would you offer me tonight?”  You froze.  Shit...  
“Um...”you nervously bit your lower lip. You opened your mouth to speak, but the words slipped your mind...  Loki chuckled. You couldn’t quite tell if he was laughing at your incompetence, or just the situation itself... You had a feeling it _wasn’t_ because of the situation...  
“A deal then, my dear...” your nerves only worsened with the idea of his proposal.  “I will not punish your disobedience... if you tell me something...” Your head tilted to one side and your brows furrowed.  What could you possibly know that would merit a dismissal of your accidental disobedience...? “Was Johnathan working with Barnes?” Your eyes widened.  Yep... that would probably justify it...  
“W-what...?” you asked, too surprised and terrified to think of a proper answer.  Loki’s lips formed a straight line,  
“The cowering runt who killed Barnes... Some of his actions of late have made me question his allegiance once more...”  
“What did he-,”  
“(Name).” Loki cut you off.  There was an emotion in his voice that you couldn’t quite recognise... was it... no... It _couldn’t_ be desperation... You slowly allowed your eyes to move up to meet his. “Answer my question... Is Johnathan working with _them_?” You knew he meant The Avengers... so why wouldn’t he say their name?  
“Why would you ask me...? You have advisors and underlings who would know more than me...”  
“Of all the people in this forsaken world, you are the only person who has had the opportunity, but not tried to run from me.  I will admit that when I entered my room and you were not there I had my doubts, but...” he trailed off, with an irritated sigh. “Just _answer me_...”  
“But I-,”  
“ _Now_!” He growled.  What should you do...? Lie and risk your own life; or tell the truth and have another death on your conscience...?  What should you do...? What should you do!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me, my dear reader-chans, which decision do you think you will choose? Will you risk your own life as well as Loki's affection to save Johnathan, or will you tell the truth and let him die? *dark scary voice activation* The choice is yours... (haha... I need to watch less Saw...)
> 
> On another note, there will be more Thor in the next chapter, followed by something you may not like all that much... (sorry/warning in advance)!!!!
> 
> This is unfortunately some more filler... and I absolutely hate taking so long with updates just to end up jerking you all around for a filler chapter... >.> And I know it can be important for the whole 'relationship development' thing... but... Gah... 
> 
> Please let me know what you think, REVIEWS PLEASE~!!!


	13. Warning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was honestly amazed with the amount of people who wanted reader-chan to tell the truth. I really thought you’d have some issues with the possibility of killing someone... *shrug* I always knew what I was going to write, I was just intrigued to see what you would choose ^^
> 
> Also, some people have voiced their concern for reader-chan’s fertility, don’t worry, everything will be explained either a little later on, or a lot later on. (I’m just going to wait and see which it will fit in better with. Meaning if it isn't in chapter 15, it will probably be nearer the end.)

 “Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 13

***  
 _“Just answer me...”_  
“But I-,”  
“Now!” He growled.  What should you do...? Lie and risk your own life; or tell the truth and have another death on your conscience...?  What should you do...? What should you do!?  
***

You could feel your lips tremble under Loki’s gaze.   Johnathan... He killed, no... _No_ , he was _forced_ to _murder_ Bucky... But... it didn’t mean he deserved a death sentence.  Did it...? He was still a person, and he didn’t deserve the same fate as Bucky received...  
“I... I...” You took a deep breath in and slowly released it. “I don’t know... It all happened so quickly, and The Teacher...” your hand lifted to gently massage your temple, a feeble attempt to soothe your nerves. “I can’t remember... He... he _might_ be, I know he was there when Bucky helped me... but he wasn’t in the room when Bucky was talking with Thor...” you hesitantly locked your gaze with Loki’s. “If you’re not sure, don’t rush to any brash decision that you could later regret... but you _should_ trust your own judgement...” Oh no... What did you just say?! Loki had suspected Johnathan was double-crossing him! His instincts were telling him that Johnathan was a traitor! If he followed his judgement at the current time then Johnathan would - - Loki’s cool hand ran through your (h/c) hair.   
“Thank you, Dove...” he said with a small smile.  Your eyes widened.  What? His arm wrapped around your waist as he started leading you towards the exit. “Thus far you are the only one to give me an answer I would actually consider... even if it is uncertain and rather scattered in thought...” Your anxiety began to calm, and you felt your heartbeat slow down considerably.  You hesitantly glanced back towards the stairs leading to the bedroom... You didn’t want to leave the penthouse suite... It made you feel strangely comfortable, unlike most of the places in the world... If Loki was in a good mood then maybe he’d think about indulging a request... You were cautious about asking... The only reason you weren’t doubled over in pain at this very moment was because of an opportunity he was kind enough to offer.  Oh well...    
“Wait...” you stopped and took hold of Loki’s wrist. “Could... Could we stay here, just for tonight?” he raised a brow,   
“Do you find my room unsatisfactory?” He asked with a curious and dark tone,   
“Th-that’s not it... I just like it up here...” you murmured the last part and lowered your head.   
“Very well...” Your head snapped up.  What? Did he just - - “What’s wrong? Am I not allowed to indulge the irrational and erratic whims of my Pet?” he asked with a small smirk before turning on his heels and leading you back upstairs.  Sure... he was allowed... but that didn’t make you feel any more secure... In fact, it only served to make you more suspicious of his motives... Did he even _have_ motives? Or was he just acting nice to mess with your mind?

Whichever it was, it didn’t really matter to you because after that night Loki actually started treating you like a human being - - No... He treated most humans _horribly_... He started treating you like... like... You didn’t even know how to describe how he treated you.  It was _better_... That’s all you knew, and that’s all you needed to now.  He had also promised to refurbish and repair the large penthouse suite; but until it was finished you had to settle for spending the mornings sitting in an area free of workers, and return to Loki’s room in the early afternoon.  You had learnt your lesson about showing up on time for Loki after the scare of the first night, so every day you made sure to leave your secluded getaway with enough time to arrive well before Loki, and every day you would arrive on time... Until one day, exactly a week from the first day you had been allowed more freedom, your mind entered a daze and you pressed the wrong button on the elevator...

You hadn’t even realised you were on the wrong floor until the elevator door opened. Your brows furrowed.  This hallway seemed familiar, but was definitely _not_ the floor you had expected... Your mouth fell open slightly and you quickly darted forward, your eyes never leaving a door about 1/3 of the way down the hallway. This was... _This was_...  You slipped into the room, somehow managing to go unnoticed by anyone, and looked upon the familiar site...

Dark, colourless and musty... that was how all the prison cells were...  A few of the fluorescent lights were flickering off and on, but clung to life amongst the surrounding darkness.    
“Thor...” you murmured softly while slowly moving further into the dark room.    
“(Name)...?” The blond man asked as he shifted from underneath a ratty blanket.  You quickly trotted up to the bars of his cell and Thor did the same, but just as your hands met on the bars and before you had a chance to say anything else, Thor was thrown towards the brick wall by an unseen entity.  You reached forward through the bars, trying to catch him before he hit the wall, but the force pushing away from you was too strong.  He hit the brick wall with a loud thud that made you cringe.   You quickly retracted your hand and covered your mouth.  That was when you noticed the small, warm, green light receding into your golden pendant.  Oh God... Had you caused it...?  
“Thor...” you called, but there was no answer. “Thor!” you called, louder than before.  A low, dizzy groan was your only response... You let out a relieved sigh.  At least he was _alive_...

Thor shifted out of the darkness and stumbled towards you.  That was when you noticed the healing burn marks covering Thor’s face, chest and neck.    
“Oh God... what happened...?” Thor winced slightly as he came to rest in front of you. “That didn’t happen just then did it? Loki gave me this protection pendant thing and...” you said in a hurried rush as you reached forward, but you pulled back just before your hand met with the still healing skin, afraid your touch would hurt him even more.  Thor looked a little disappointed with your sudden change of mind. “I’m sorry...” Gently you trailed your fingertips over Thor’s burnt cheek.   
“No, it... it wasn’t _you_...” he sighed and lowered his gaze.  You paused.  If it wasn’t your fault... then who hurt him...? An image crossed your eyes of The Teacher with a Taser pressed to the metal bars... Your heart fell and a lump form in your throat.  It _was_ your fault he was hurt... You may not have _directly_ caused it... But the burns happened when he was trying to protect you from The Teacher... Thor placed his hand over your own and leaned into your touch, to your surprise he didn’t pull away or cry out in pain...  “Do not be sad (Name)...” he reached forward and gently ran his calloused fingers over your jaw.    
“Are you sure you’re okay...?” you asked with a trembling smile.   
“Aye... It’s just taking a little longer than usual for my injuries to heal.  Less than a week and they will be healed completely.  There won’t even be obvious scars...” Your eyes widened when you noticed a small trail of crimson liquid run down the side of Thor’s neck,   
“T-Thor, your head...”   
“It’s fine...” he insisted.   
“No it’s not. You’re bleeding.” Your other hand passed through the gaps in the bars, allowing you to turn Thor’s head to one side to get a better look at the gash in his head.   
“It is only a scratch...” He gently pulled your hands away before lowering them to slip back between the bars.  You raised a brow.   
“Tis but a scratch, _right_...?” you asked with a small, sad smile, trying to hide the tears of guilt forming in your eyes.  However your guilt was short lived because Thor’s confused look made you feel like a complete _fool_.  You sighed softly. “Never mind, I’ll go find some bandages... Just stay here, okay?”   
“I wasn’t planning to go anywhere...” Thor said with a grin.  How could he be so chipper at a time like this? He was injured.... He wouldn’t be injured if it wasn’t for you... and he was trying to cheer _you_ up?! You pushed your worry to the back of your mind and stealthily left the room in search of medical supplies.

***

You walked around for a good twenty minutes, ducking between rooms, doorways, and shadowed nooks in the wall before you _finally_ found a small supply closet.  But before you could grab anything, you had to wait for the three arguing Chitauri soldiers to leave the small room.  One of them stepped further out of the closet, forcing you to move deeper into the doorway of an unknown room.  You were trying to hide behind the open door of the supply closet, but the Chitauri constantly moved around, making it nearly impossible to - - Suddenly someone placed their hand over your mouth, hooked their arm around your waist, and pulled you deeper into the unfamiliar room.  You tried to scream, but your voice failed you. 

You attempted to pull free of the unknown assailant’s grip, but it wasn’t working...  You tightly closed your eyes, expecting and _waiting_ for the worst to happen.  
“ _Shhh_...” a strangely familiar voice hushed you.  You opened your eyes, allowing the tears of fear to fall.  Your (e/c) eyes moved to the person behind you.  In the partially obstructed light from the hallway, you were just able to make out the outlines of Johnathan’s face along with his sandy blonde hair.  You were surprised.  He may have been tall, but he was also incredibly thin... how could he hold you back so easily? You mentally slapped yourself.  Johnathan’s physicality didn’t matter at the moment. He was _alive_!

Slowly he released your mouth and waist.    
“What are you doing down here?” he said, distress evident in his tone.  It took a moment for your mind to realise what he was asking,   
“Th-Thor is hurt... I was getting some bandages...” you explained.  Johnathan sighed softly,   
“If you get caught down here Loki will _not_ forgive you.” Your eyes widened.  His words had reminded you,   
“Loki asked me about you.” Johnathan’s brows furrowed. “He thinks you’ve aligned with The Avengers... You need to do _something_ to gain his trust...”  The young man took a moment to think it over.   
“Thank you...” his eyes moved back to the door. “Stay in here until they leave.  Get what you need, and get out.  You can’t let anyone see you...”  You nodded.   
“Of course...” Johnathan turned to leave, but before he had the chance to take a second step, you grabbed his hand. “Wait... does Thor know...?”   
“Know _what_?”   
“Know about Bucky?” Johnathan hesitated to answer, the pain and trauma of that night was clearly still fresh in his mind.  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up-,”  
“Yes... He does know... I was able to slip a note amongst his food... I tried to go see him a day or two ago, but I was pulled away before I had the chance... After what you told me, I don’t think seeing Thor is an option anymore...”   
“Will you be alright?” you asked, tightening your hold on his hand.  Johnathan pulled away from you,   
“You should worry about yourself.  If Loki catches you with me, or Heaven forbid Thor, he will take you to a place so dark that your soul will never recover...”  As Johnathan spoke, you noticed the light fading from his eyes, and immediately you knew what he was referring to... “Get what you need, and get out of sight...” With that he left you alone in the room. 

You clasped your hands together tightly and let the nauseating feeling in your stomach pass, along with the mental images of Bucky’s bloodied corpse... Silently you crept up to the door and looked out.  Thankfully the Chitauri had moved on... You quickly entered the closet, grabbed small bottles of various disinfectants and wound cleaners, gauze, and bandages before returning to Thor.  You had a moment of panic when you thought a maid saw you, but even if she _had_ seen you she didn’t say anything or call out, so you were safe... for the _moment_ at least...

Once you were inside the small, cell filled room again, you quickly set to work, trying your best to bandage Thor’s wounds.    
“This is probably going to hurt...” you said just before you pressed a damp cloth to his head.  He winced as a low groan formed in his throat.  “Oh come on... it doesn’t hurt _that_ much...” you said with a small smirk.  You reached down and grabbed his wrist, moving his hand to the cloth. “Hold this please...” He pressed his hand into the fabric, allowing you to have both hands to sort through and open the various bottles.  “Um...” You lifted the small bottles and briefly read their names.  Nervously you bit your lower lip.  You had _no_ idea what any of them were...    
“The one in your left hand...” Thor hinted to you.  You glanced over to the blond man and raised the clear bottle.  He nodded.  You placed the other bottles down and unscrewed the lid before pouring some of the liquid onto the wound.  You pulled Thor’s hand away from the small slash and placed gauze over it before, rather unceremoniously, wrapping a bandage around his head.    
“There... all better... _ish_...” you said while cleaning up.  “I’ll leave the bandages and other stuff with you in case you need to change them over...”  
“Thank you (Name).” he replied with a toothy grin. You laughed,   
“Well it’s better to have something covering it, than leaving it open for infection... Be glad there were a lot of medical shows on television at one stage... Though I don’t actually think I actually learned anything from them...” you explained while passing the few supplies that remained through the bars.   
“No, not that... Well... _yes_ that, but I was thanking you for coming to see me... It gets lonely... and it’s nice to have some company...” He said with a warm smile.   
“If I can get away, I’ll be back to see you tomorrow, okay?”  Thor nodded.  You shifted to stand up, but something stopped you before you could completely straighten.  No, scratch that, _Thor_ stopped you before you could completely straighten.  “Is there something wrong?” You quickly knelt once more, “Does your head still hurt?” Thor chuckled nervously,   
“No...” You had expected him to release your hand... but he didn’t... Instead he softly pressed his lips to your knuckles and locked his eyes with yours before releasing your hand.  A warm blush, that you hoped would go unnoticed, coated your cheeks.  “Thank you, Miss (Name)...” You clasped the hand Thor had just kissed in the other and tried to calm your fast breathing, needless to say it wasn’t working...   
“I-I’ll see you tomorrow...” You stuttered quietly before leaving the room without another word.  You weren’t sure if you were shocked, surprised or flattered... no matter what you were feeling, it didn’t matter.  If you stayed in the room, under Thor’s kind yet intense gaze, you would more than likely pass out... You paused for a moment at the door, waiting for the few people to pass by, before you quickly snuck back down the hallway and headed towards the elevator. 

Silently you cursed yourself for being late.  Usually when you returned to Loki the sun was only just setting, but today the sun had already disappeared behind the horizon.  You slipped into the elevator and pressed the button over and over again until the doors _finally_ closed.  Only one floor separated you from your safety, but the trip felt like an eternity.  You shifted with anxious energy side to side, trying to rid yourself of the nerves, but, like usual, it wasn’t working. Come on... _Come on_!  Suddenly the lights flickered and the elevator came to a jerky stop.   
“What the hell?” You braced your hands on the walls, needing some sort of guidance through the dark, and stumbled forward to the control panel.  No matter how many times you pressed the buttons the elevator refused to move.  “Damn it, damn it, damn it!” with each repeat of the words, you slammed your hand harder and harder into the small wall of buttons... but it didn’t do anything to change your situation...

As the dark, silent moments passed you could slowly feel the strength in your muscles disappear, forcing you to shift more weight onto the wall before you finally slid down to sit on the floor.  You were already late... and this would only make Loki angrier... You had to get out... You had to get out! 

Even though you couldn’t see the walls, it felt like they were slowly moving in to crush you... You had never felt this claustrophobic before, but sitting alone in the small, dark and stuffy elevator was a completely different experience.  During your entire life you had felt alone, and being forcibly brought to The Tower had only helped to intensify that feeling, but _this_... _this_ was _overwhelming_... It made your chest tighten and stomach flip.  You needed more air, but your lungs refused your need... What was worse was that your mind began to run around in circles, taunting you with different ideas of why the elevator was frozen.  Had Loki seen you with Thor...? Did he know you warned Johnathan...?  Was this some sick form of mental torture for being late? Your knees curled to your chest and you tightly wrapped your arms around and buried your face in them.  What if The Avengers fought their way into the building...?  They wouldn’t know you were in the elevator...   _No one_ would know you were in the elevator... You would be left alone to die of starvation if that - - A small ding reached your ears and you heard the doors open. 

You looked up from your knees.  The lights had turned back on, and the doors had indeed opened... You were frozen and in a state of shock.  _Nothing_ had happened... Well, nothing like you had imagined anyway... It was just a small power outage, like before... You took a deep breath in wanting to steady your nerves and stood up.

Quick as a flash you were at Loki’s bedroom door.  You took one more moment to calm yourself, knowing full well that he would be displeased with your tardiness before you oh-so-slowly opened the door, ready as you could be to receive whatever punishment Loki would be likely to dish out...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How could it be that I can quite easily write filler-ish chapters, and be more confident in them than actual plot advancing chapters!? >.> (Even though this isn’t really the most plot-advancing chapter I’ve written...)
> 
> Please let me know what you think! I've once again turned into an unsure little writer-chan who can't decide whether the chapters are any good... :|
> 
> (The next chapter will be up soon. Originally this chapter and the next were one REALLY long chapter, but I thought it would be easier for all the reader-chans to read if I broke them into two)


	14. Memories and Nightmares...

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 14

_***_  
Quick as a flash you were at Loki’s bedroom door.  You took one more moment to calm yourself, knowing full well that he would be displeased with your tardiness... Oh-so-slowly you opened the door, as ready as you could be to receive whatever punishment Loki would be likely to dish out...  
***

Silently you crept into the room, but it did you little good.  Loki was ready and waiting...   
 “You’re _late_...” Loki said before taking a sip from his glass.   
“Sorry...” you said while quickly moving to sit by his side.  Loki glanced over to you as he ran his hand up your arm.  
“Is that all you have to say?” The next thing you knew Loki’s hand snapped around your neck and he roughly pulled you closer. “ _Well_?” From this close you could see the dark rings of stress around Loki’s eyes, and the slight dishevelling of his hair and clothes,  
“I-I pressed the wrong button on the elevator and it took a while to get back to this level...” It wasn’t a _complete_ lie... Just... a little distorted...  The raven haired man loosened his hold on you and placed his glass down on the coffee table,  
“You were caught in the power outage?” he asked almost suspiciously,  
“Y-yes,” Loki’s eyes drifted towards the window, his mind deep in thought.  
“Then you are forgiven...” he put his arm around you before pulling you to his chest.  
“R-Really?” you asked, completely stumped with his sudden change in mood.   
“Is there a reason you shouldn’t be?”  
“N-No... I just didn’t expect it...”  
“Truth be told I am too tired to deal with you... but since you seem so keen to taste my wrath, I shall keep a note of it, and be sure to give it to you when I have recovered.” He rambled, clearly paying no attention to what you had just said.  
“Th-that’s not necessary...”  
“Then keep your mouth _shut_ next time I show you leniency...”  He was clearly irritated.  You should just stop talking...  Loki let out a loud, tired sigh and rested his cheek on the top of your head.  “Dove... Why are the people in this forsaken world such fools...?”  His hand gently skimmed over your stomach and ribcage. “So fragile, yet so strong willed... but overall _stupid_...”  You tried to make your body relax, but you didn’t like where he was going...  “Lay down...” he ordered softly.  Your mind hesitated, but your body did not, so you did as you were told and slid down onto your side before turning onto your back.  It took all your strength not to gasp, or comment, or ask ‘ _why_ ’ when Loki moved; but it was safe to say you were surprised with his actions... He had never done anything like _this_ before... He had followed you down to lie on the couch, but instead of pulling you to his chest, he laid his head on your shoulder and securely wrapped his arms around you.  It wasn’t sexual at all... he wanted comfort, which was something completely out of character for him... You breathed in slow and cautiously but at the same time soothingly tangled your hand in his raven locks.  Just ask what was wrong... he was obviously dealing with _something_... You just had to phrase it right, and he wouldn’t get mad... _hopefully_...  
“You’ve been here for over six months... has this really only began to bother you now...?” that was a safe phrasing, right?  
“It has bothered me since I first stepped onto this world many, many years ago.  It has only recently dawned on me how truly incompetent they all are...  I meant to rule them, but thus far all they have done is hinder me; like the other night for instance.  Their incompetence was the reason I was so late, and even tonight, I would have severely punished you if it was your own fault, but it wasn’t... not _entirely_ anyway...” he gingerly began to trace patters into your skin with his fingertips, sending a pleasant tingle through your middle.  “If they could do their jobs, then there would be constant and reliable power throughout the entire building...” He trailed off, giving you the opportunity to ask a question that had been on you mind since Loki attacked New York all those months ago.  
“Lo-Sir...”  
“Since you seem to forget more than you remember, just call me Loki... It will be easier for you and less _irritating_ for me...” he stated sharply.   
“Loki...” you took a deep breath.  “I understand of you don’t tell me... but... I was wondering...” you constant pauses and hesitation drew Loki’s attention more and more. “Why do you _want_ to do such a thing? Rule us I mean...” You took a split second to recollect your thoughts before you continued. “As a race humans always fight against _something_ , by ruling the way you do, you’ve given everyone a common enemy...” Your disjointed thoughts and words trailed off when your eyes met with Loki’s.  “I-I um... I just wanted to know why you could come here if you hated this world...”  
“What makes you think I hate this world...?” Well... You can add that to the growing list of things that Loki did which surprised you...  
“It’s just...” you shrugged, “Well... if you liked this world, then wouldn’t you want to protect it...? I understand that the two of you are vastly different... but you and Thor are brothers, and if you really cared for this world, then wouldn’t you-,”  
“ _That_... is something you need not bother yourself with.” He said through gritted teeth.  
“But I-,”  
“You _don’t_ need to know.” Loki snapped.  You jumped slightly at the harshness within his words.  Loki must have noticed your reaction because he continued, only in a softer tone than before.  “However, if you are interested... I will show you the Mighty _Thor’s_ fall from grace...” he said with a small smirk.   
“W-what...?”  
“You are interested in why I act and rule the way I do, are you not?”  
“Y-Yes...”  
“Then you may start there...” Loki’s hand slipped to your cheek, and you were transported to the lounge room in the penthouse suite...

**Only, it wasn’t the penthouse... Well... it was, but it _wasn’t_ at the same time. **   
**“Welcome to my mind and memory, (Name)...” Loki said from behind you.  “You can observe...” he appeared out of thin air in front of you.  His body was glowing pale blue-green all over, and when he reached forward to take hold of your wrist, icy coldness shot through your entire body.  “But you cannot interact or intervene...” he forced your hand down to, and then through, a small wooden coffee table.  “Now...” he started, walking around to stand behind you, “ _watch_...” he ordered sternly as a scene frozen in time slowly came into focus before coming to life...**

**It was the late afternoon.  The sun had disappeared enough to make it difficult to see things clearly when the flickering lights went dark.  However, in the distance you could make out the majestically coloured sky filled with blues, purples, reds and pinks.   Thor was standing near a large hole in the glass wall, the bar was smashed and several pieces of furniture were destroyed.  Loki stood opposite him, they were both breathing hard and had cuts, bruises and scrapes all over their bodies.**   
**“Where is she?!” Thor growled menacingly as he stepped forward, the crunch of breaking glass reached your ears having been broken up more under his weight.  Loki let out a small snicker.**   
**“What does it matter?  She does not want you...” the raven haired man called triumphantly.**   
**“I do not believe you!”**   
**“Shall I prove it, _brother_?”  Loki asked with a hint of condescension.  The raven haired man then reached his hand out towards the area of the bedroom. “Jane, _my dear_...”   The woman that appeared from the upstairs bedroom was stunning... Her skin smooth and flawless, her brown hair cascaded past her shoulders and seemed to dance as she walked... but... something seemed off... Her vacant expression and eyes were an unnatural shade of blue.  It was like she was there, but not at the same time.  Like a puppet on the end of a string...**   
**“You have used that damn power on her!”  Thor growled loudly as he tried to move to her side.**   
**“Take another step towards her, and she will die.” Loki warned.**   
**“And if I simply kill _you_ instead?”**   
**“The magic will remain you fool.  And she will kill herself... a failsafe I have in place just in case, by some miracle, you defeat me.”  Loki grinned wickedly.  “Tell me, do you think you can kill me, and get to her before she plunges the blade into her throat?”**   
**“What are you-,” Thor turned towards Jane as a golden sceptre formed in her hand.   She then raised the blade to her neck and slowly added more pressure.**   
**“If you ever loved me, you will leave...” Her voice came out dry, dull, and emotionless.**   
**“Loki, stop this.” Thor’s eyes flickered to the raven haired man before quickly returning to Jane.  The blade had pierced her skin, causing blood to trickle down her neck.  “Stop this now!” The distress in his voice made you cringe and look away.**   
**“Leave, and she will be unharmed...” the raven haired man said with a sly smile.  The blade moved a little deeper into Jane’s neck.**   
**“I will not leave her here with you!” Thor quickly stepped towards Jane, but unable to stand the idea of watching another person die, you closed your eyes just as Thor reached out for the sceptre.**   
**“My dear, you need to watch this...” Loki whispered into your ear. His fingers ran over your cheek.  “Open your eyes,”**   
**“Tell me what happens...” You quietly begged.  Loki chuckled softly,**   
**“Open your eyes, and see for yourself...”**

**Cautiously you opened your eyes.  Time had skipped forward slightly.  Thor laid Jane’s unconscious body, along with the golden sceptre, on the ground carefully near your feet; Loki had taken up place where Thor once was, and was nursing a rather nasty injury to his forearm.**   
**“I will not give you another chance, Thor.  Leave, or you will forever regret the outcome of this night.”**   
**“I have heard enough!” Thor swung his hammer forward, and with it sent intense bolts of lightning towards Loki. No.... No! Something was wrong... If the bolt hit him then - - You tried to run forward to stop the whole scenario, but Loki tightly wrapped his arms around your waist and everything slowed to a snail’s pace.**   
**“ _This_ is how he is, (Name).  He is brash, pig-headed and cares not for anyone else’s state of mind or body.”  You tried once more to pull free of his hold; the need to intervene and stop the bolt of lightning from making contact stopped your brain from thinking rationally. “He does _not_ care for anyone or anything; his only care in the world is for his own egotistical sense of self-preservation...” Loki stretched out his hand, and everything returned to normal speed.**

**The lightning strike hit Loki with a ferocity you had never seen before, sending the raven haired man to the ground in a burned, bloodied heap.  Then it was over.  Thor lowered his weapon with a huff and turned back towards Jane.  Only... it wasn’t Jane.  It was _Loki_... _Loki_ was standing in place of Jane... Your brows furrowed before your eyes widened and you realised what happened. **   
**“I told you, _Brother_ , I warned you, but you _would not_ listen...” A loud thud echoed around the room.  Thor had dropped his hammer and you could see the tears building in his eyes. **   
**“No... No...” he stumbled towards the burned corpse on the floor.  He then fell to his knees beside the corpse, which now had the unmistakable curves of a female.  Loki had faded away, and was replaced by Jane, but this was not the same Jane you had seen before...  Her flesh was contorted and rippling in unnatural directions that were either a bright shade of red, or completely black... Your vision blurred for a moment, and the next thing you knew you were standing over the corpse. Loki still had a tight hold of you, making it impossible to move of look away... The smell that reached your nose was putrid and made you want to throw up.**   
**“He is no more than a normal man, no better than a selfish, stubborn _mortal_.  Can you guess what he did next?” Loki whispered into your ear. **   
**“You... _YOU KILLED HER_!” Thor screamed at the raven haired man. **   
**“Did I?” Loki asked with a snide smirk.  A low growl-like noise emitted from Thor’s throat before he called for his hammer and then lunged at Loki.**

**The younger brother blocked the oncoming attack with the sceptre, but as Thor made repeated attacks, each increasing in strength, the sceptre slowly began to falter and break off into small pieces before it shattered _completely_.  Loki ducked out of the way of Thor’s next attack before pulling a small dagger from his waist.  Another two swings from Thor gave Loki the opportunity to sink the small blade into the blonde’s side.  Thor fell to the ground and dropped his hammer - - in exactly the same place you were accustomed to seeing it,  **   
**“LOKI!”**   
**“Your anger is misplaced, _Thor_.  I gave you my word she would be unharmed -,”**   
**“Your word means NOTHING to me!” Loki chuckled softly and sighed,**   
**“Then I shall not try to ease the truth... _You_ killed her.  I gave you the chance to leave, and I also warned you what would happen should you fight... but in your stubbornness you chose to ignore them all... It is because of _you_ and you _alone_ your _beloved_ is dead.”**   
**“No!” Thor reached down to pick up his hammer, only, it wouldn’t move... Thor tried again and even used a second hand, but still nothing happened...  Loki laughed loudly.**   
**“Oh, oh this is _too_ perfect!” quickly the raven haired man stepped forward and sucker punched Thor in the cheek, knocking him down to the ground.  “Some part of your slow moving mind agrees with me...” he reached down and hauled Thor to his feet by his golden locks.  “I will not kill you... No, instead I will let you wither away _slowly_ ; consumed with your guilt, and knowing your selfishness has doomed not only her-,” Loki pointed at the still smoking corpse of Jane, “but your so called ‘ _comrades’_ as well...” Loki looked up and called for someone, but his voice became distorted and distant.  You blinked slowly, and when you opened your eyes you had returned to Loki’s bedroom...**

You felt tears slipping down your cheeks and your chest was heaving.   
“Why did you show me that...?” you asked barely above a whisper.   
“To show you the kind of selfishness Thor is capable of, and to that his kindness is only a farce... He is a stubborn, selfish man who cares only for...” Loki trailed off having noticed your tears. “Do not cry for him...” As quickly as you wiped the tears away, more had already formed and began to fall.  He let out an irritable sigh through his nose, sat up straight and pulled you onto his lap. “He does not deserve your tears...”  
“I’m not crying for him...”It was a partial lie... You were sad seeing what Thor went through... but there were other reasons for your tears...  
“Then why are you crying...?” he asked,  
“Because she didn’t deserve to die like that, and...” you trailed off slowly.  
“And?” he urged  
“And... And for you to do such a thing, something truly horrible must have happened between the two of you...” Loki seemed almost shocked at your words, and it took a moment for him to recollect his thoughts.  
“You think I am not just a monster who does everything out of nonsensical hatred?” he asked in a colourless tone.   
“... I... I think for someone to cause as much pain, destruction and chaos as you have, there must be something tormenting them...”  
“And how can you be so sure of that?”  You closed your eyes.  The images of a dishevelled room, bloodied towels and a blood covered sink crossed through your mind.  A memory you had not thought of in years.  A cold shudder ran down your spine.  
“Because there’s always a reason... Alcohol, drugs, trauma... they’re all just catalysts...” Several minutes passed and neither of you spoke.  To your surprise, it was Loki who broke the silence.   
“It’s an intriguing notion...” he scooped you up into his arms.  “But your sympathy is misplaced... I have no _need_ or _interest_ in it...” he gently laid you down on the bed before joining you. 

***

You barely slept at all... and every time you actually managed to get to sleep, you were tormented with bad memories until you scared yourself awake.  You _hated_ it.  You hadn’t dreamt of such things in years.  Sure, your mind may have crossed over to those thoughts once in a blue moon, but not on a level this deeply.  You could feel, smell and hear everything you had tried to bury... The metallic scent of blood mixed with the tangy odour of alcohol was on the air, the cool sting of the bathroom tiles you had curled up to cry on, and you could hear the arguing of your grandparents in the distance, mixed with the tormented anguish of your depressed mother who was fending off her drunken boyfriend, and the vain bitching of your selfish aunt... All of your memories churned and mixed until they became one big monster you had no control over whatsoever...  So, instead of closing your eyes and forcing your way through the dreams, you stayed awake, _all_ night.

Loki stirred shortly before sunrise.  Thankfully he was caught in the limbo between sleep and awake, so he didn’t notice you sitting with your back pressed against the headboard and knees pulled to your chest.   
“What time did you wake?” Loki opened his eyes for a moment before closing them again and rolling onto his side.  
“Two...” you were hardly able to keep your eyes open, and your voice was slurred and hoarse, but you refused to fall asleep...  
“What in the name of Niflheim made you rise that early?” he asked with a groan.  
“I just couldn’t sleep...” you murmured softly, wanting him to drop the subject.  
“... A nightmare?” he asked with a slightly amused tone.  You hesitated, but nodded. “It was easy to guess... especially considering you woke me twice last night with your obnoxious whimpering...”  
“I’m sorry,” Loki’s hand ran over your waist and hips.  You weren’t quite sure if it was an invitation to lay down beside him, or a mindless need for physical interaction.  
“What of?”  
“Huh?”  
“ _What did you dream of_?” When you didn’t respond straight away, Loki sighed irritably and yanked you down to his chest.  “I deserve to know why I’m forced out of sleep, (Name).” he said with a menacing tone. “You’ll pay me that courtesy won’t you Pet?” You took a deep breath in and tried your best to find your voice.   
“It isn’t really any one thing... sensations, smells, sounds.  It was just a mishmash of-,” you stopped yourself before you said anything more, a mix of fearing the memories and the fear of showing weakness passed through your chest.   
“Of?” Damn it... why did he want to know?!  
“Bad memories...” you muttered.  
“...Is that all?” you clenched your jaw.  Is that all? Is that all?! He talked as if your own personal scars were insignificant! How could he - - “Close your eyes and _calm down_.” As much as you didn’t want to, you did what he said... “After being woken so many times, I was already considering spending the rest of the day in bed, and now you have just given me a justifiable reason to stay...”  
“How so...?”  You asked with furrowed brows.  Loki smirked,  
“Well... I do not think anyone would take too kindly to laziness, however, I’ve burdened myself with you and if I choose to ignore your well-being, then that would make me look weak and incompetent.”  His fingers soothingly tangled in your hair, and the mixture of his slow beating heart and calm breathing served to relax you.  You didn’t want to sleep... Your eyes slowly closed, but a moment later you opened them. You _wouldn’t_ _allow_ yourself to sleep.  “(Name)...” Loki whispered as he wrapped his other hand around your waist.  “Go to sleep...” he murmured over and over again.  You tried desperately to fight against your body’s need for rest... But Loki was so warm, soft, and... and... Before you had a chance to finish that thought, you closed your eyes and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep...

***

You slowly woke to the warm tingle of something running over your back and shoulders.  Quickly your eyes snapped open and you spun around to knock away what you thought was a bug, but all you found was Loki’s hand... _Oops_... You turned back to the surprised man.  His brows were raised and lips formed a nearly completely straight line.   
“S-sorry...” Loki supressed a sigh and removed himself from the bed.   
“Bathe, dress and meet me in the suite upstairs.” He ordered before throwing a light green sundress at you.  Your brows furrowed. He had never asked you to wear a dress before... So why now ask you to wear one? You looked up, but Loki had left the room before you had a chance to ask.

A sigh left your lips and you quickly did as Loki asked.  When you put on the dress, you actually felt a little more self-conscious than when you wore the robes.  You hiked the neckline of the dress upwards and tried to adjust it so you nipples weren’t completely visible through the fabric, but you were fighting a losing battle.  Thankfully the top of the dress was a little ruffled, so they weren’t _as_ noticeable.  Other than the tightness at the top of the dress, the rest of the fabric was exceptionally loose, and danced around your legs as you moved.   You quickly forced a brush through your (h/c) hair and pulled it into a remarkably neat side ponytail before leaving for the penthouse suite.

***

When the doors to the elevator opened, you were left stunned.  The workers had _finished_...  A smile crept over your lips and you quickly stepped forward.  The kitchen had been refurbished and new lavish dining furniture had been placed in the room.  You swiftly stepped through the hallway, paying no attention to the other rooms you passed, and entered the large lounge room.  _Everything_ was fixed.  The floors had been replaced, as had all of the broken or damaged furniture.  The concrete walls had been re-rendered to cover the cracks, and painted a pale shade of grey that nearly looked white.  The new furniture that filled the room was either black or dark grey with a few flourishes of regal green.  The bar, and some of the alcohol, had been replaced as well.  A large shaggy rug sat in the middle of a mounted flat screen and the soft, inviting dark grey lounge.  How could they do all of this in just over a day?!  Your eyes continued to wander the room; that was when you noticed the open glass doors, leading to the large balcony you hadn’t been able to see before due to the plasterboard that covered it.  You didn’t even realise how fast you were moving until the cold touch of the tiles turned into electrifying pain through your feet, however once you reached the door and stepped outside all of the pain in your feet dissipated. 

The light was blinding, and the first few steps outside forced you to navigate without sight at all, but you couldn’t care less.  It was so warm and the air was so fresh and clean.  It had been so long since you had taken a step outside that you almost forgot the sensation... An arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you from your course and into a small circle.  When your vision finally cleared, you were able to see who it was, and it didn’t surprise you all that much, Loki...  
“Do you like the refurbishment, Dove?” he asked, wrapping his other arm around you.   
“Yes... How did you get all of the materials to fix it so quickly?” you asked.  Loki tightened his hold on you,  
“Just because I chose to have this city to myself, does not mean I do not have the other businesses open to state my needs,” he explained smoothly.   Wait... if he kept the businesses running, then why...  
“Then why does the power continually go out...?” you asked mindlessly.  Loki loosened his hold and began to lead you along the balcony.  You delicately ran your hand over the warm metal of the railing.  
“I had the power stations destroyed to ensure my enemies cannot use their capabilities against me... This building is powered by its own stored energy.” Your brows knotted together.  That didn’t answer your question... “Come, breakfast is ready.” He said, gesturing towards the platters of food being placed on a table by maids.

You sat down in a large, plush seat, Loki taking the seat opposite.  For the first few minutes you split your time between rather greedily picking at the numerous breakfast platters, and looking out to the city.  The area directly surrounding the devastated and colourless New York streets seemed full of life and colour.  It was definitely a nice change of thought _and_ scenery...   
“Now my dear,” Loki started, “will you be able to busy yourself inside until I return?  The business I must take care of will not occupy my time much passed eleven thirty.” He said, picking up a small piece of fruit from the platter.  
“Can I stay out here?”  
“No.  When I am not with you, the doors leading outside will be locked.”  
“Oh...” you lowered your eyes and placed the piece of toast you had picked out down on your plate, suddenly not feeling hungry in the slightest.   
“If you do not want to eat, then I have no reason to stay here, and I will leave.” Loki warned.  Your eyes widened and lifted to meet his.  He had shifted back in his seat, resting his elbow on the arm of the chair, allowing him to lean his cheek on his hand.  You lowered your gaze, unable to meet his deep and calculating stare for more than a few seconds and picked up the piece of toast, choosing to nibble on the edges tentatively.

Loki allowed you to continue your farce for a little while longer, but you could tell he was becoming agitated quickly.  The quickening tapping of his fingers along the glass of the table top, the impatient glint in his eyes, the deepening scowl on his face; it all made your stomach knot, but you wouldn’t give in.  Just a few more moments... Just a few more moments... And when you sensed he was on the brink of exploding, you put the food down and looked up, unsure if the nervous fear in your mind was evident through your eyes.  The raven haired man took a moment to collect his thoughts before he stood, took hold of your forearm and roughly led you inside.  You looked over your shoulder to see the same maids who had left the platters taking them away, while softly talking and sneakily picking at the untouched left overs. 

Your mind hadn’t even acknowledged the fact that you were inside until Loki threw you, rather ungraciously, onto the plush sofa.  You quickly adjusted your position so you were sitting, and completely ready for whatever Loki was going to throw at you.  His hand raised, readying to either strike you or roughly take hold of your once more.  However when your gaze met the muscles in his hand and arm relaxed.   
“I only said you would be expected to stay inside while I was away... When I return you will be able to go back out there, do you understand?” you weren’t sure if what he said was a question or statement, but you nodded nevertheless.   Loki then turned on his heels to leave, but just before he left the lounge room, he turned back. “The next time you decide to waste my time with your petty indulgences, you _will_ regret it.” And with that Loki left you alone. 

It took a moment for your mind to completely process Loki’s words, but once you were finally able too, a cold shiver ran down your spine.  You wrapped your arms around your middle, attempting to hold all of your rampant thoughts and emotions within you.  Your decision to prolong your time outside was a mistake, and it was only by some _miracle_ that Loki didn’t take out his frustration on you.  A silent sigh passed your lips as your eyes wandered to the now closed and locked glass sliding door.  You dragged your gaze away from the doors and flopped onto your side.  That was when you noticed something... Something that was placed under the clear glass coffee table at the foot of the sofa... Thor’s hammer was almost like a trophy in a case.  Gingerly you ran your fingertips over the cool glass. 

Your emotions just seemed to spiral downwards from that point on...You felt bad, no... You felt worse than bad. You had promised Thor that you would come back and visit the next day, but instead you spent that time in bed with Loki.  That’s not to say that spending an entire day sleeping was bad, but it made you feel guilty... Thor was alone in that dark, damp cell, and after finding out why he was powerless and imprisoned, it made you feel even worse.  Sluggishly you stood and made your way through the room, your eyes never leaving the magical hammer that had been placed within the confines of the glass.  You shouldn’t, not after what happened last time. You were lucky not to get caught by Loki’s servants or the Chitauri soldiers... Johnathan had told you to look out for yourself.... Loki had almost caught you... but... Thor was alone, with nothing to keep him company but his own mind, and after what Loki showed you, you wouldn’t be surprised if his mind did nothing but torment him every second of every day.  No. No! Stop it. You wouldn’t go down. You - - You - - You - You were going down...  You supressed a sigh and looked to the ornate wall clock as you passed the kitchen area.  It was just passed ten thirty, which meant you had just under an hour until Loki returned... Just go down, and get back... easy enough, right?

***

“Thor...?” you called with a small smile as you entered the room.  “I can’t stay long, but because I didn’t come and see you yesterday, I thought I’d -,” A gasp caught in your throat.  “Y-You look so much better!” The slightly warped burn marks on Thor’s skin had almost completely disappeared, and considering the bandage had been removed from his head, you guessed the gash had completely healed.  You kneeled down at the front of the cell and locked your eyes with Thor’s. _‘I will not kill you... No, instead I will let you wither away slowly; consumed with your guilt, and knowing your selfishness has doomed not only her, but your so called ‘comrades’ as well...’_ Loki’s words echoed within your head.  You tried to ignore them, but it proved to be even harder than ignoring your dreams...  
“Something is bothering you...” Thor sounded concerned.  Damn it... You had hoped to remove the pity and sadness from your face once you entered the room, but the emergence of Loki’s taunt to Thor caused you to fail...  
“No, I’m fine.” You said with a small smile.  
“(Name)...” Thor urged.  Don’t tell him... Don’t tell him! “Has Loki done something to you? I swear if he has harmed you-,”  
“No, Thor. Loki hasn’t physically done anything to me...”  
“Then he told you something to upset you.” Don’t tell him... You shook your head. “(Name)...” you bit the inside of your lips, hoping it would quell your need to tell him, but it didn’t.   
“Loki told - - _showed_ me... what happened with Jane...” Thor’s face fell.  Damn it! Why’d you tell him?!  
“Then you must think me a monster...” he mused as he moved to sit deeper into the cell and further from you. Your mind dropped the self-loathing act and immediately focused on the troubled mind of the man before you.  
“No... No Thor I _don’t_...”  
“You said he showed you what I did... You saw that I killed her...” The second half of the sentence was barely audible, but you just managed to catch it.   
“Thor...” you sighed softly.   
“If it was not my fault, then why have I lost my powers? I should have foreseen Loki’s trick... But instead I was blinded, and it cost Jan-... It cost her life...” the blond man slumped to his knees in the middle of the small cell.  
“Thor...” you breathed while cautiously reaching forward.  “It wasn’t your fault... No matter what you think... Loki didn’t want you to know.  There’s no possible way you could have known it was her...”  
“I understand you are trying to make me feel better about this, but if I were not to blame, then why am I no longer worthy to hold Mjolnir? I can no longer feel its power in the air.  Even at a great distance I used to feel the magical presence... but now I feel _nothing_.” You thought back to the first time you came into contact with the hammer... The electricity that was in the air, the harsh pressure on your lungs... Was that the presence he meant?  
“I... I think it was calling out... or... _something_.”  
“ _What_?”  
“Well... I know hammers can’t speak, but... I don’t know.  I certainly know I couldn’t lift it...”  You said with a goofy smile.  Thor looked towards the ceiling and raised his hand. Your brows furrowed.  What was he doing...?  He breathed in deeply, closed his eyes and flexed his hand over and over again.  After a few moments Thor’s hand dropped to his side,  
“You should return before Loki notices your absence...” He said dully.  Before you even had the thought to interrupt, Thor cut you off, “Please, (Name)... I just need to be alone...” You were a truly horrible person... You raised Thor’s hopes from the dead, before allowing them to be quashed by your own vain intentions to make yourself feel better...  You had been the one to bring up Jane, so therefore you had to be the one to cheer him up... fat load of good that did.  Just as you reached the door you turned around,  
“I’m sorry, Thor...” and with that you returned to the penthouse suite...

***

You sprinted to the lounge room once the elevator doors opened, and threw yourself onto the couch.  You were moving so quickly that you failed to notice the time on the clock, but once you were comfortably situated, you _did_ notice. ’10:53’ read the small digital clock.  You groaned loudly.  You didn’t need to waste your energy running here! Oh well... You rolled onto your back and stared blankly at the ceiling.  There wasn’t much you could do now except wait for Loki...   

You glanced for a moment at the hammer beneath the glass before returning your attention to the small ticking clock.  Wait... Your eyes quickly flicked back to the coffee table.  The handle of the hammer had moved and was touching and slowly cracking the glass. Your eyes widened. That’s what he was doing!  He was calling out to the hammer, trying to summon it! You had to tell him! You had to let him know his powers weren’t gone, and that he was worthy! Quick as a flash you stood and sprinted down to Thor, ignoring the small voice in the back of your head that was telling you this was a _bad idea_.

Your breathing was laboured, but you didn’t care; you were too focused to care about the burning in your throat.  You had to get to Thor, you had to tell him!  You grabbed onto the frame of the door and swung into the room.  
“Thor!” you yelled in a hushed voice.   You all but collapsed at the foot of his cell, “it moved! It moved! Not a whole lot, but it _moved_!” Thor’s brow furrowed,  
“What are you talking about...?” he asked, moving closer to kneel down next to you.   
“M-,” a string of unintelligible letters followed.  A small but evident grin began to creep onto Thor’s lips.  You sighed softly. “Your hammer _smartass_ ,” Immediately Thor froze.  
“What...?” This time it was your turn to grin.  
“It didn’t move a lot... but it _did_ move...”  
“You’re sure...?” a small, hopeful smile pulled at the corner of Thor’s mouth.   
“Yes.” You shifted to kneel and gently held onto the metal bars.   
“This is not some kind of sick joke, is it?”  
“I wouldn’t do that to you Thor.” The blond haired man’s hand settled on your own.  
“Thank you, (Name)...” Someone clearing their throat from the doorway stopped the two of you in your tracks.  Your muscles tensed and you cautiously looked towards the door.  Tears of fear began to build in your eyes, but you blinked them away, allowing you to see - - your breath hitched. Of all the people in this damn tower, why did it have to be to be him...?  
“Sorry to interrupt you _Love Birds_...” the raven haired man spat viciously.  
“ _Loki_...” your voice was barely above a whisper, and even _you_ could hear the trembling and fear within that single word...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if the chapter really works... I think it may be a little disjointed... but this is the best I could come up with... Please let me know what you think!! D:
> 
> I'm also wondering what you all think of Loki's softness/fluffyness that suddenly can snap to anger and irritation... I'm not entirely sure if how I've intended Loki to be is getting through, so let me know what you think Loki's motives/intentions are. Is he just mean? Does he want to be nice, but isn't sure how? Does he just get easily frustrated? What is it??? 
> 
> A few people have called reader-chan stupid/'another word that would probably fit better but I can't think of it at the moment', for promising to go to visit Thor the very next day. I had her say that as a kind of spur of the moment emotion, that was crossed between feeling guilty for not trying to stop bucky’s death (and therefore cutting off Thor’s only real communication with the outside world) and for him being alone almost all the time. Hopefully i've elaborated a little more about it in this chapter, but I just wanted to add this into the note to clarify a few things... (The Character Archetype I think reader-chan fits into is The Wounded Healer, so I thought she'd probably say something like that. If you think the reader fits into another Archetype, comment and let me know!)
> 
> I’ve also created a poll on deviantart which will help be decide which series I should do after Seven Minutes in Heaven is finished. Lemme know what you think! http://www.animefreak141.deviantart.com
> 
> Also, this chapter was over 6,000 words, and around 13 pages, so if you felt a little ripped off with the shortness of the last chapter, this should more than make up for it!


	15. New Feelings and Punishment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note to Aubren: there is a reply to your comment on the last chapter. Since you’re not a user I just wanted to make sure you knew that I did reply to the questions you raised. Warning, it turned into a semi-rant because I read your comment really early in the morning, and some of the points you brought up made me a little emotional/self-conscious (I really need to expand my vocab, these weren’t the words I was looking for...) because they picked up on some of the things I’ve been unsure about
> 
> Urg-blur-flr... After nearly an hour of arguing with myself, I've decided to post this chapter... I'm a little nervous about it, so if the response isn't what I want, then I'll remove the chapter and change stuff....
> 
> Okay guys, I’m going to warn you before you start reading. This will probably be one of your least favourite chapters. There are honestly so many reasons why I think this, and here are just a few warnings...  
> If you can’t handle a rough Loki, then don’t read this version.  
> If you can’t handle an emotionally unstable Loki, taking the feelings he can’t express out on the reader, then don’t read this version.  
> If you couldn’t handle the scene with The Teacher, then don’t read this version.  
> If you can’t handle and emotionally sadistic Loki who uses mind games and taunting as well as physical pain, don’t read this version.
> 
> Censored version can be found on http://www.animefreak141.deviantart.com

 “Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 15

_***  
__“Sorry to interrupt you Love Birds...” the raven haired man spat viciously._  
“Loki...” your voice was barely above a whisper, and even you could hear the trembling and fear within that single word...  
***

You watched with caution as Loki lingered near the door.  What was this feeling in the pit of your stomach...? You could clearly feel the fear, anxiety and stress without issue; but there was something else... Could it be – _No_... Definitely not... However as the silent moments passed, and your mind began to weigh on the feeling more, you came to realise that the unknown feeling truly was what you so quickly ruled out... It was sadness... No sadness for yourself, but sadness for Loki.  The hurt and betrayal in his emerald eyes was evident to you and made your stomach knot and chest tighten.  The need to reach out and try to comfort him was indescribably strong, but you could not find your strength or your voice... The only thing you could do was watch as Loki pondered his next move...

*Loki’s POV*

He couldn’t believe his eyes... After all he had done, after all the freedom he had given her, _this_ was how she repaid him?! Had it not been for the awestruck boy next to him, he would have stepped forward and punished her immediately.  But her punishment was something Loki wanted only her and Thor to witness, no one else.  No other bystander that she could plea with to help her.  The only name he wanted her to call out was his own.   
“Thank you....” he said, turning to the shadow covered body in the doorway.  “You for alluding me to such a _willing_ and _devious_ act of betrayal...” Loki stepped into the room, and Johnathan looked in with a horrified look on his face. “You may leave.”  
“But sir, I-,”  
“ _DO NOT_... make me repeat myself...” he growled, quickly losing his patience for the boy.  “ _Leave us_...” Johnathan took one last glance at the cowering girl on the ground and the shocked God of Thunder before turning to leave. “Shut the door...” Loki added quickly.  Johnathan did as he asked and closed the door, ensuring Loki’s privacy and (Name)’s inability to escape. 

Loki then turned his attention to the (e/c) eyed girl.  
“I let you into my bed, I let you influence my decisions, I let you roam free, and _this_ , _THIS IS HOW YOU THANK ME_?!” he stepped forward so quickly that (Name) didn’t even have a chance to flinch when he seized her by the collar of her dress.   Loki lifted her so her face was barely an inch from his, and he could see the tears of fear welling in the corners of her eyes – but she refused to let them fall...  Good.  He wanted her to be strong, and scared.  He was about to show her what disobeying and betraying him would cost...

*Your POV*

The hold he had on your collar tightened, but you couldn’t do anything... you couldn’t move, you couldn’t sob, and you couldn’t even plea... As quickly as he had taken hold of your dress, he threw you to the ground and began pacing.  
“I thought he was just a liar. But now I see that I should have kept him around.”  He paced more before he slowly began to move closer, each click coming from his boots matching perfectly with the beat of your heart. “Or maybe I should have just given in and let him have you,” He stopped for a moment to once again take in the scene before him.  You should have been grovelling at his feet, pleading for forgiveness or clemency...  But your mind was still caught up in the details of the whole situation...  Johnathan told Loki... Loki had caught you... You wouldn’t be surprised if he killed you right there... “I know that look...” he said, clenching his jaw tightly. “Do not think I will kill you... That would be too light of a sentence for your _betrayal_.” The anger and bitterness in his tone was unmistakable.  He was pissed-off… _badly_.  Suddenly he disappeared from your line of sight, and reappeared directly in front of you.  
“Loki wait, don’t!” Thor growled, trying to reach through the bars to get to you, but it was too late. Loki had a tight hold of your hair and hauled you up to your feet, pulling you away from Thor before forcing you back onto all fours in the middle of the walkway.  He then leaned down to hover above you,  
“Tell me Brother, do you desire her?” he spat venomously, pulling your back to his chest while twisting the fistful of hair he had a hold on.  You let out a sharp cry, but it was muffled when Loki’s free hand moved to your throat, “do her cries excite you?”  The hand on your throat tightened as he turned his attentions back towards you, inhaling the scent of your hair.  
“Loki-,” Thor was cut off as more choked sobs left your throat,  
“Do you prefer _him_?” he asked. You shook your head and mouthed the word ‘no’ over and over again. He sharply yanked on your hair, “I can’t hear you,” he growled, releasing your throat. For a moment you glanced over to Thor, his cerulean blue eyes were filled with worry and pain. You weren’t sure whether it was Loki’s own impatient mood, or the fact that he saw you looking at Thor, but the next thing you knew, Loki had flipped you over, and had you pinned to the ground. “ANSWER ME!” he screamed, placing one hand back over your neck as the other restrained your hands above your head.   
“N-No…” you just managed to say.  The heavy pressure from Loki’s hands made it hard to speak, and even harder to breathe, but he quickly removed his grip.  The moment of relief was quickly followed by stinging pain as Loki slapped you across the face; _hard_.  
“ _Liar_.” He said.  
“No, Loki, I’m not…”  
“Then prove it.” He said with a sickening smile before leaning down to nibble on your earlobe, “Fuck me, right here, right _now_.” He whispered darkly. You couldn’t suppress the gasp that caught in your throat,  
“W-What?” your response was barely audible.  Loki’s wicked grin was replaced with a scowl,  
“If you do not, then you will be removed and given to the Chitauri as a plaything... Or... maybe I could send you as a final parting gift for The Teacher.” Your eyes widened. Was he really so cruel? Would he really give you away so easily?  Wait... what were you thinking? Of course he would.  You knew that... you had accepted your disposability... So why did your heart ache...?  You pushed the throbbing pain of your chest to the back of your mind, knowing that even though there were tears building in your eyes, you had to look strong.  You silently asked Thor’s forgiveness for the awkward and uncomfortableness he was about to endure,  
“Okay.  I will…” you said strongly. Loki’s grin returned and he reclined back into a seated position before quickly pulling you to straddle his lap. 

He made quick work of your dress, tearing it to shreds and throwing it to the floor at the foot of Thor’s cell.  He then leaned up and took your hardened nipple between his teeth, yet another sharp cry left your lips as he applied more pressure.  He pulled away with the sensitive bud still between his teeth before he released it, allowing your breast to snap back into place.   
“Don’t make me wait.” He growled while unbuttoning his pants and removing his loose fitting black shirt.  
“Loki, stop this!” Thor called.  The raven haired man smirked and with a snap of his fingers two more Loki’s appeared behind Thor.  Quickly the two doppelgangers restrained him and forced his head in your direction.   
“Since you seem so taken with her; you will _watch_.” Loki snarled as he lifted your hips up before impaling you onto his hardened manhood. 

A moan rose in your throat and your eyes squeezed shut as your head fell back, your body revelling in the pleasure his large size could give you.   
“You will look at _me_.”  He ordered while forcing your hips up and down, sending intense waves of pleasure through your stomach and chest.  This was the first time you were on top, and the feeling of control and power was pure ecstasy.  You opened your eyes and looked down at the raven haired man, wrapping your arms loosely around his neck as you tried to force your hips faster.  “Tell me my dear, do you enjoy knowing he desires you?” when you didn’t answer he tightly clutched your jaw and began to knead your breast as he continued, “Are you thinking of me, or _him_?”  
“Y-You...” you just managed to force your voice from your throat.  It wasn’t a lie.  Loki was the only man you had thought of being with since - - Your mind stopped.  Wait... You thought it over some more and realised he really was the only man you had thought of being with since the night he first took you... His hand moved from your jaw and snagged your hair, pulling your mouth down so it was barely an inch away from his own.  
“Do not lie to me.”  He groaned while bucking upwards against your own grinding hips.  
“I-I’m not...” you replied as your nails dug into the skin of his back and your teeth sunk into your lip until it bled.  You wanted to moan, _badly_ , but you wouldn’t allow yourself to... You were too embarrassed knowing a set of cerulean blue eyes were being forced to focus on you while in such a state...  
“Prove it...” Loki’s hand found the sensitive bundle of nerves between your legs and you lost control completely. 

Your moan echoed through the room and your hips went wild.  Loki then stopped his thrusts upwards, leaving only your movements and his fingers moving against your clit.  You picked up your pace, missing the friction his bucks offered while also trying to rock into his hand more.  You moaned his name every time his fingers flicked the sensitive bud, and you were nearing the end.  A thin veil of sweat beads began to cover your skin and your breathing became filled with moans, gasps and needy whines.  Suddenly you felt your inner walls convulse, and a near crippling wave of pleasure ran through your body.  You bit down on your lips, it was painful and tasted strongly of blood, but you were trying to stop the screaming moan in your throat and tears from springing to your eyes.  You continued rocking your hips up and down, but all the while your mind was on the fact that you had orgasmed... Any other time you had climaxed was solely because of Loki, but this time it was your own doing; and it was not in the comfort or sanctity of a bedroom... No... It was on a cold, dirty floor and in front of Loki’s brother... Why did it bother you so much...? Loki had taken you in public, taken you roughly, and had made you come several times... So why did this bother you so much?! That was when you felt Loki release within you, forcing more tears to slip down your cheeks.  You could feel your lips trembling and body shaking. 

The out of breath raven haired man looked up,  
“Why are you crying?” Loki snarled.  You tried to wipe the tears away and answer him, but you once again you couldn’t find your voice.  The man beneath you scowled.  “You don’t want me, is that it?!” He grabbed a clump of your once silky hair and slammed you into the bars of the cell next to Thor’s before standing and taking up position behind you.  “I will take every orifice until you only know how to scream my name, until you only crave my dick.”  
“N-No Loki… That’s not it!” you gasped, “Stop it, please!” you tried to pull away from him, but his hold on you was too tight and you only managed to force yourself harder into the bars.   
“Oh no,” he muttered, lining himself up with you untouched back entrance. “I have claimed your mouth-,” he reached around and tightly held your jaw, “- your womanhood -,” his hand slipped between your legs, his fingers playing in the dampness that still remained, “and now I will take your last, and only remaining, virgin hole.” With his words you thought you were going to throw up.  How could he react so violently just from tears? Your (e/c) eyes quickly glanced over to a mortified Thor.  Oh... That’s right...

The sensation of Loki forcing his way into your backside was nothing short of excruciatingly painful.  His member was lightly lubricated from being in your womanhood, but it wasn’t enough... You could feel the passageway stretching and tearing as more of his length entered you.     
“P-Please! Loki! Take it out! Take it out!” you screamed, trying to tear your hips away from his, but all it did was intensify the pain.  Loki half chuckled and half groaned as you moved along his length.  
“Why would I pull out? My dear you’re so _tight_.” He rocked forward, causing you to scream again.  The more thrusts he made into your entrance, the more pain you felt.  It slowly took over your entire body until you were wracked with uncontrollable convulsions as you mind tried to tear your body away from the thing causing you pain. 

Slowly, as Loki continued his aggressive thrusts, your pain turned into complete numbness.  You felt his presence within you, but not the movements... That didn’t mean that the tears or screams stopped, in fact your mind was on auto-pilot, making the screams louder.  It did little good though.  You could feel the speed in which his hips slapped against your arse quicken for a short time until they slowed and stopped completely.  As he slowed, a burning feeling began radiating from your backside, and in the distance you could hear his loud groan; but you were too out of it to know if he had climaxed or just tired of pounding into your arse.  He pulled out and you felt warm liquid slowly trickle down your legs.  It didn’t feel the same as semen... and from the metallic smell you guessed it was blood, but it could have been a disgusting mixture of the two... 

Relief washed over you as you felt Loki slightly pull away.  Hesitantly you looked over your shoulder.  He was wiping his blood coated member off on the torn remnants of your green sundress.  When he dropped the now stained dress, your heart fell.  He either hadn’t finished, or he was hard once again. Suddenly he snatched your arm and turned you around; pressing harder on you so your back would sink into the metal bars.  
“You thought I was finished with you?” Loki chuckled darkly as his hungry eyes wandered over you.  
“Please... I can’t take it anymore...” Loki’s eyes darkened.  
“In that case, I will only give you more...” his eyes moved to your arm.  “And I will make sure you remember this day _forever_.” His tone made you shudder.  What else could he possibly do to you? What else - - Your body suddenly went rigid and your muscles no longer obeyed your mind and your left arm lifted until it was parallel to the ground.  A sharp pain shot through your arm, and you looked down.  Something small and cylindrical was moving underneath the skin of your triceps. It started coming forward further and further, forcing the skin of your arm to painfully stretch until it gave in and tore.  Your jaw clenched as the damp air hit your new wound and blood began dribbling from the small, yet painful wound. 

Your eyes were then forced to focus on the small tooth-pick sized – _something_ – that had been forcibly removed from your body.   
“W-what is it?” you stammered.  Loki’s lips quirked upwards.  
“My dear, this is what was stopping you from falling pregnant...” Your mouth fell open.  When was that put in you...? The raven haired man laughed and shook his head.  “Did you ever wonder why your menstruations stopped? Or why you had yet to fall pregnant?!” while he was speaking Loki reached forward and took hold of you neck. “You were not worth my time or affections.” He pressed your head harder into the bars, “but as a gift...” he growled mere centimetres from your lips. “I will give you the chance to carry my child...” Your breath hitched, and your lungs refused any more air to enter.  “Now, I’m not entirely sure how a Midgardian will handle carrying a Frost Giant... but there’s only _one_ way to find out.” He said with a smirk as he angled his throbbing arousal at your womanhood.  You tried to put your many thoughts into one coherent sentence while also struggling against Loki’s hold, however the strain and stress your body had already been through was beginning to ware on you, and you couldn’t fight anymore...

Loki lifted your legs around his waist before he entered you harshly, a low groan leaving his throat as he did.  
“Hah-,” he huffed as he rocked his hips forward. “You’re still wet...” He reached through the bars to tangle his hand in your hair before picking up the pace of his thrusts.  A cross between a moan and a sob left your throat.  You hated yourself for it, but after having him force his way into your arse, the feel of his member in your wet folds was not only a welcome relief but filled your body with a morphine-like euphoria that stopped the once dominant pain.

Loki’s other hand found your hip, and he sunk his nails into your skin, trying to hold them in place as he continued his assault on your nether regions.  You gnawed your lower lip harshly, trying to supress the soft moans that formed in your throat.   
“Say my name.” Loki barked into your ear before his lips and tongue found your neck.  
“L-Loki...” you half gasped half sobbed.   
“Louder!” he groaned.  You could tell he was nearing his end, the ragged breathing and quickened pace enough to give that away.   
“Loki!” you actually moaned this time.  His member reached new depths within you and your inner walls shuddered and collapsed tighter around him.  You hated yourself for orgasming again... but at least it offered you relief from the nagging pain all over your body.   However that relief was short live because as Loki released into you, his teeth tightly clamped down on your neck, drawing more blood from your body and forcing new pain into your frail body before he _finally_ pulled out. 

Loki stepped back, allowing you to fall harshly to the ground.      
“Brother, you truly are _sick_.” Loki spat as he turned towards Thor.  Your newly water logged eyes moved to the blond man.  His eyes were lowered, but something _else_ stood at _complete_ attention.   Loki grabbed your hair and pulled you towards Thor’s cell.  The raven haired man hummed for a moment as he pondered something... You knew it _couldn’t_ be good...    
“No... _This_ form would be too appealing for you...” he waved his hand in front of Thor, turning his large, masculine form into a disgustingly familiar short and pudgy one... A sob caught in your throat.  
“No, no please...” you felt your entire body weaken as you took in the all too familiar form of The Teacher, but Loki refused to let you fall flat against the ground.  His hands quickly found your hips, holding your beaten and bloodied entrances to his still hardened manhood.   
“No!” Thor growled and fought against the Loki clones as they tried to move him closer to the bars.  “I refuse to do this to her! Especially in _this_ form!” he struggled against the two, and it actually looked like he might have won, but Loki quickly added two more clones to pin him against the cell bars, leaving his aroused manhood sticking out at your level. 

You guessed this was Thor’s normal size, seeing as The Teacher was considerably smaller, but it didn’t make the idea of taking him any easier.  Loki apparently sensed your hesitation; he waved his hand, making the pants that covered Thor’s manhood disappear as he gripped your hair tightly by the roots.  When you opened your mouth to cry out he forced you forward onto Thor’s member, causing your sob to choke and catch in your now full mouth and throat, before also entering your sore and probably bruised womanhood.  The only reason you moved at all was because of Loki’s thrusts, but as Thor began to begrudgingly moan, the night with The Teacher came back to you.  You tightly closed your eyes and allowed your mind and body to go limp. But that didn’t stop The Teacher’s groans from reaching your ears.  It didn’t stop the feel of his sweaty, fat body from washing over you.  And it certainly didn’t stop your tears from falling...

You weren’t sure how long it took the two of them to release, but soon you found yourself panting and on the floor in a hot, messy heap.  
“Tch… pitiful…” Loki growled.  He then gathered up your exhausted body and threw you on the bed in the cell opposite Thor’s. “You can return to my bed then you have learned your lesson.” He slammed the cell door before walking out of the main door. 

The words echoed in your head, but you couldn’t comprehend them at the moment. You felt the sting of the bite on your neck, and the icy cold air against your exposed and beaten skin, but you didn’t have the energy to move… You felt the tears run down your cheeks, and your body become wracked with silent sobs, but you were too numb to know why.   However, the pleasant numbness only lasted for a short while.  Soon you felt yourself fall into a downward spiral of sadness. 

Loki had been rough and demanding before, but never _this_ extreme... You felt scared when he was cruel, but you would always slowly begin to feel comfortable again, he would always show you some form of warmth... This time it was different.  He had known just what to do to traumatise you. He had known just what memories to play on to make you lose the will to fight... He knew just how to hurt you; how to make you feel the same hurt you had made him feel...  
“(Name)… I am truly sorry…” Thor said, his voice breaking mid-sentence.  A cold chill ran down your spine. Why was he sorry? _You_ were the one who kept coming back to him… _You_ were the one who disobeyed Loki’s very simple rules…   _You_ were the reason Loki reacted the way he did...  
“It’s not your fault…” you murmured, “I fooled myself into thinking he cared about me... even if I didn’t know it at the time…” You curled up more, trying to get some warmth into your body; however the stinging pain all over stopped you from moving much further.

Eventually you fell into a deep sleep, but it wasn’t peaceful, nor was it exceedingly painful... It was simply darkness... Loki had left you with nothing but the darkness of your mind to keep you company as the screams, moans and other sounds of what he had done to you replayed in your mind...

*Lokis POV*

The raven haired man skulked back to his room, not the penthouse suite he refurbished and renovated, but his _room_. He thought that if he relieved his stress and anger on her, then that would be the end of it.  But it wasn’t... His anger and stress were gone, but they were replaced with an emotion he had issues recognising. 

Lazily he closed his eyes and sunk further into the softness of the bed, but he caught a scent; a scent that made his stomach churn and muscles tense.  It was _her_ scent.  He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and tried to force his mind into submission, wanting to stop it from tormenting him with the sounds of her pleas to stop. 

Why were the sounds that brought him pleasure only a short time ago suddenly tormenting him? The raven haired prince grit his teeth and he slammed his fisted hand down on the mattress, sending a small shockwave of telekinetic energy through the room which made several objects and pieces of furniture fly towards the wall. 

Why did he feel like this?!  He had done nothing wrong... had he...?

*Your POV*

Days passed, but to you, each day was as long as a life time... You had to do something... turn the darkness into something, _anything_... It just had to go away.  But you were too exhausted to open your eyes and glance around the room, so you had to settle for transforming the darkness.

You tried to force lights into the darkness of your mind.  But just as quickly as the star-like-light formed in the sky of darkness, they were devoured by the nothingness.  If you had the energy, you would have cried out in irritation or sobbed... But you no longer had the will to even do that...

You were in the dark, Loki had put you there, and you were too physically and mentally exhausted to get out of it... You just wanted to give up... Somewhere in the depths of your heart you thought he had changed, though at the time you didn’t want to admit you were feeling that way... but now... Now you had broken the remnants of his heart, and in turn, he broke you...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so can everyone see the foreshadowing with the lyrics from ‘Cosmic Love’? If you can’t, then perhaps look over them once more~! :D
> 
> And my thanks goes to a devi user who brought up the idea of using Thor. Perhaps this wasn't the way you intended him to be used, but hey *shrug* what can you do? 
> 
> Erm, what else? I’m slightly more than nervous about this chapter... I don’t know if the hurt feels got through, or if the slightly confused feels got through (for both reader-chan and Loki). Did they? TELL ME!!! (I was gonna wait for my plot BETA to reply, but she was taking too long. -YES I’M TALKIN BOUT YOU RIN!!! XD-) 
> 
> Also, if anyone is interested, I’ve started a new series involving Loki’s smutty escapades with his /ever-so-slightly-underage/ niece. Now, I know what you may be thinking... It’s gross, it’s incest, blah, blah, blah... But try it. If you don’t like it, then you can at least say you definitely don't like it~!
> 
> But again, please, I have never been so unsure about a chapter of this story (I say that like every week, don't I? WELL THIS TIME I MEAN IT!!!) Comment and tell me what you think. Even if it's only to complain about how much of a dick Loki was, or how much you hated his punishment... please, just TELL ME!!!! TT-TT


	16. Healing: Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Geez... that last chapter had some mixed reviews...  
> 1: *Crumpled on the floor crying*  
> 2: BITCH PLEASE. I WAS EXPECTING TORTURE PORN! (Me: Ehe I was actually considering it...)  
> Overall, I would call it a success... Maybe... Kind of... Nearly... 
> 
> For those who were disturbed/hurt-in-the-feels by the last chapter: Sorry, but I did warn you...  
> For those who were expecting something worse: I was going to do it, but then I think Loki would have had no chance at redemption... Sorry... Loki needed a way to come back to the good side... If he maimed reader-chan too much, then there was no hope. (but if you really want something disgustingly dirty/torture porn-esque, comment on this chapter and I'll see if I can come up with a oneshot for you...)

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 16

_***_  
You just wanted to give up... Somewhere in the depths of your heart you thought he had changed, though at the time you didn’t want to admit you were feeling that way... but now... Now you had broken the remnants of his heart, and in turn, he broke you...  
***

Your eyes gradually fluttered open.  You weren’t in the cell anymore... The warm softness of the bed and the constricting grip of the robe around you was an immediate give away...  Sluggishly you shifted onto your side, immediately the presence of something hard around your neck became known.  Your hand slipped to your neck.  It felt like a collar... made of metal... Your brows furrowed and you tried to pull it off, but it refused to budge.  That was when you noticed the chain that connected the collar to the thick, ebony post of the canopy bed.  Fighting through the soft nagging pain over your whole body, you sat up and pulled on the cool chain, but again, it didn’t budge... A pained whimper left your lips as you swung your legs over the edge of the bed and took in your surroundings.

You were in the refurbished penthouse bedroom... all of the curtains were drawn closed, so the small fire at the other end of the room and lamp on the bedside table were your only source of light.  Your hands limply took hold of the chain, and you pulled once more on the chain, but gave up once you realised there was no chance of it coming free.   Irritation bubbled in your stomach and you threw the chain down like a child throwing a tantrum.  What possible reason could he have to chain you to his bed...?  After all he had taken and put you through, why was he tormenting you more?! You felt your lower lip tremble as everything weighed on your mind once more.  Everything Loki had done; and the fact that you were now tied to his bed, unable to escape him.  He was going to do it again... That had to be the only reason he tied you to his bed...  
“You’re finally awake...” Loki said as he exited the bathroom.  He almost sounded relieved... but, surly you had misinterpreted something...  He was the reason you were sore, he was the reason you had fallen asleep for _God knows_ how long... He couldn’t _possibly_ be happy that you were awake...

***Loki’s POV***

_2 Days earlier..._

Loki sighed irritably.  Four days... He had heard there was still no change in her state of mind or body after _four days_.  All she would do was lay and sleep, she wouldn’t move, she wouldn’t speak, she wouldn’t even wake up... He was at his wits end with what was going through her mind, and therefore forced to go back into that damned room to fish her out; the guards apparently unable to enter or exit her cell due to Thor’s continuous interference... He casually entered the room filled with cells, ignoring the glare from Thor, and walked right up to where (Name) was. 

He didn’t want to admit it to anyone, let alone himself, but his chest tightened at the sight of her. She laid, curled on her side atop the rickety bed, her (h/c) hair was a knotted mess, and bruises and blood littered most of her (s/c) skin... Loki’s emerald eyes lowered to the dozen or so full food trays that lay strewn across the cold floor of her cell.  
“Have you come to admire your handiwork?” Thor growled.  
“Has she not eaten?” Loki barely managed to say, a mixture of regret and exasperation filling his tone.   
“You ordered them to ensure she had food, but not to make sure she ate it.” Loki noted the anger in Thor’s tone; a bitter pill for Loki to swallow given the current situation.  Emotions never came naturally to him, and yet Thor expressed them so easily...  Damn him...  
“What about water?” he asked, needing to get his mind off of his own short comings.  
“No, Loki... she hasn’t spoken, eaten or done anything since you were last here!”  
“What about-,”  
“Stop this now and just resign yourself to admitting your affection for her!” the older brother said, ignoring the unfinished question.  
“What makes you think I hold any type of affection for a treacherous whore?” Loki spat back viciously, trying to cover the emotions he felt with bitterness and anger.  
“Would you be here if you _didn’t_ love her?!” Thor’s voice sound hoarse, Loki guessed it was because he attempted to give the little water he received to (Name), even if she didn’t drink it...  The raven haired man leaned against the bars of her cell and took in her near-unmoving form.  “Brother, _please_... I thought there may be a chance she would come back from the darkness you left her in, so I kept the guards from her; but she hasn’t...  She _won’t_... not unless you take her out of this place and get her help... “  
“You would just love it if I did that, wouldn’t you?”  Loki growled, “Serving your beckon-call like the worthless swine you think me to be.”  
“ _No_.” Thor snarled.  Loki’s eyes widened and he looked over his shoulder.  
“What was that?”  
“I do not regard myself any higher than you... And I despise the fact that she has, and will continue to, share your bed... that that is where she will return if the is taken from here, and that -,” the blond trailed off,  
“And that – _what_? That I will feel her warmth more times then you _ever_ will?” Loki spat, turning back to watch the sleeping (h/c) haired woman.  
“That she was taken in by your ploy...  that she thought you actually cared, and is now broken because of what you did to her.” A cold shudder ran up Loki’s spine.   
“You lie...” he muttered before entering the cell, scooping up (Name)’s limp body, and heading for the door.   
“I’m not lying to you Loki... I just hope you will see it before you do something you cannot take back...” Thor said as he watched his brother leave the cells with (Name).

***

“Sir, wouldn’t it be faster if you healed her yourself?”  The old man clad in white asked as he placed a large, black leather suitcase on the edge of the bed (Name) slept peacefully in.  
“I would be able to close her wounds, but any infection that has entered her system or found its way onto the wounds will remain... I just want to ensure she will not get ill from any bacteria that stay in or around the wounds...” Loki explained as he moved to stand at the foot of the large bed.  The old man nodded,  
“Then would you like me to clean out the wounds, bandage them, and hook up a twenty-four-hour IV for fluids and antibiotics?” The raven haired man nodded.  The old doctor’s fake smile began to fade as he looked over the girl.  A sheet covered most of her bare body, but he could clearly see bruises all over her arms and neck, a bite mark that mirrored the size and placement of a healed burn mark, a small gash on the back of her head, and a tear in the skin under her left arm...  
“Is something wrong?” Loki asked coolly.  The doctor took a deep breath and ran a hand through his thinning white hair.   
“I’ve seen girl’s discarded who were in better shape than her...” the doctor started, unsure he wanted to finish.   
“And?” Loki’s emerald green eyes settled on the elderly man.  
“Will she end up the same way if I treat her?” The doctor’s blue-grey eyes lifted to meet Loki’s.  “I may work for you, but I refuse to treat a girl who will end up the same way in only a few days...” a grin pulled at Loki’s lips,  
“You’re new around here, aren’t you?” The God of Mischief asked.  The doctor fidgeted under Loki’s intense gaze and swallowed the lump in his throat.  
“Yes...”  Loki’s eyes studied the old man for a moment before he focused on (Name).  
“She will not be harmed this way again...” His eyes then turned back to the doctor, who, after a moment, quickly moved to treat the wounds he could...

***

Three hours...  It took the old man nearly three hours to finish treating (Name), and all the while Loki was trying to busy himself with a book, but really just wound up watching over the old man’s shoulder as he worked.  But, _finally_ , he was finished.

Bandages covered the (h/c) haired woman’s arm, head and neck, and a small netted sleeve covered the area on her arm were the IV’s were placed.   
“She’ll probably sleep for another day or two once the drip cones out... The likelihood for her waking up violently or skittishly will depend on how she was left...”  
“She drifted off of her own accord, she wasn’t forced into sleep or unconsciousness, if _that_ was what you were implying.” Loki replied gruffly.  The doctor quickly bowed his head and retreated from the room, leaving the raven haired man alone with (Name) for the first time in days.

He slowly made his way around the bed until he was beside her and sat down.  The raven haired man carefully ran the back of his fingers over her cheek as a pale green, dust-like magic slowly spread over her entire body, creeping into the various bandages and sinking into the wounds, healing the various cuts and bruises that covered her skin.  For a moment her hazy (e/c) eyes began to open,  
“Hush, (Name)... You must rest...” he said, knowing perfectly well she couldn’t hear him because she had already slipped back into the thralls of unconsciousness. _‘Would you be here if you didn’t love her?!’_ Thor’s words swirled in his head over and over again, refusing to leave him alone.  He silently growled at Thor’s idiocy and - - wait... Was it idiocy...?  The words ran through Loki’s head once more, as did his actions over the past few days... He looked away from the sleeping woman and retracted his hand.  No... No, that couldn’t be right...

***

The doctor returned the next day to remove the drip from (Name)’s arm, he also removed the bandages after Loki informed him that she would be healed – physically at least.  
“There may be some stiffness and soreness still remaining, judging from the movement of some of her joints...” the white haired man said as he laid (Name)’s hand back on the bed.  
“Understood...” Loki replied quickly.  The raven haired man watched as the doctor removed the last of the bandages.  “I have one other request...” Loki stated.  
“Yes Sir?”  
“Is there anything you can give her to prevent pregnancy?”  Loki asked, almost vacantly.  The doctor’s brows furrowed,  
“I was under the impression that-,” his blue-grey eyes moved to the small scar under her arm, “Right... it was torn out...” he sighed softly.  “How long has it been since the unprotected sex?”   
“Five days...” The doctor sighed, louder than before.  
“There is only one thing I can give her, but there is no guarantee it will work...” he said before searching through his bag to retrieve a small needle.  
“You keep birth control on hand?” Loki asked with a raised brow.  
“Insulin, adrenaline, morphine, general anaesthetic and birth control... they are the five drugs all the doctors here keep on hand...”  The doctor injected the clear liquid into (Name)’s veins, and then stood while packing his case, readying to leave. “Sir... may I advise you on something?”  
“What?”  
“I’m not sure exactly what was done to this poor girl, but if the person who did this is anywhere near when she wakes up, it is very likely she will react badly...”  
“Pray tell, how did HYRDA come to hire someone like you?” Loki asked with a smirk.  The doctor took a deep breath and met Loki’s calculating gaze,  
“It was a trade.  My granddaughter was supposed to be brought to you... Instead I offered my services...  At that time, you had apparently killed off several of the doctors under your service... So they accepted the trade...” Loki’s jaw clenched as the older man spoke.  
“You may leave.” He ordered while turning back to watch the sleeping woman occupying his bed.  The doctor nodded and quickly left the penthouse suite.

Would she react badly?  She would certainly have reason to... But he had brought her out of the cell, he had healed her, he watched over her... Would that mean nothing...?  Perhaps she would try to run... he would be able to catch her easily, but would also pose a risk to her...  He sat down on the bed next to her and gently ran his fingertips over her supple neck, a thick metal collar circled her neck, and a chain appeared, tethering her to the bed.  He didn’t like the idea of chaining her up like an animal... but it would ensure she was unable to run, or harm herself any more.  His hand then trailed down her body, making a deep green, full length robe materialise on her (adj.) frame before he pulled the covers over her body before he looked out to the devastated city.  It was late in the afternoon... He glanced back to (Name) before standing and closing the curtains to the glass walls.  Surely she shouldn’t wake before he finished showering...

***Your POV***

“(Name)...” he sounded far more concerned than before as he quickly crossed the room, but just as he reached for you, you stumbled away and pressed your back tightly to the wall.  “Dove...” he said, reaching for your hand, but you shied away again.  After the second time, Loki seemed to get the message, and instead chose to sit silently on the bed.

As the tense moments passed you came to think that your heart would leap from your chest, and your hands would start bleeding because you were clutching the chain so tight, but the thought of more physical wounds wasn’t the most terrifying part of it all...  It was watching as Loki silently pondered his next move.  His green eyes locked firmly on you, and through them you could see the cogs in his mind turning rapidly.  
“Why do you flinch away from me?!” his voice started off calm, but by the end of the sentence, he was screaming and right in front of you.  You fought through the tears welling in your eyes as all the weeks of emotional and physical torture finally pushed you over the edge, and you lost the ability to silence yourself.  
“You’re kidding, _right_?” you said through gritted teeth. “You don’t know why I pull away from you?!” after however many days without speaking, eating or drinking, you scarcely recognised your own voice, but that didn’t stop you. “Are you forgetting how you forced me into your bed, then kicked me out?! How you left me here at the mercy of a rapist, killed a man who showed me kindness, and then ended up raping me yourself?!” The aggravation – or was it surprise – on Loki’s face was evident, and you honestly feared what he would do next, but _still_ that didn’t stop you.  You were angry, and refused to let him see any other emotion, even if it cost you dearly.  
“The kind approach didn't work with you, and apparently a sterner hand didn't do anything to help the situation either!” he yelled, slamming his hand into the wall beside your head, blocking your only escape route.  
“Then why not just let me die?It would have been easier for everyone if you did!”  
“You want to die? Or did you just want to stay with _him_?”  
“You’re an idiot!” you retorted, slapping his cheek with all the strength you could muster.  The fire in Loki’s eyes refused to settle, and at that moment you know this was a battle you couldn’t win.  “I just want to go home... If you don’t want me, _please_ , just let me go...” You said while slumping back into the wall having expended the last remnants of energy you had.  
“I never said I didn’t want you...” his fingers ran over your cheek; it was both sickening and soothing... Why? Why, _after everything he did to you_ , did you still feel at ease when he touched you like that?  
“You didn’t have to... your _actions_ spoke loudly enough...” you grumbled.  
“I never said I didn’t want you!” He insisted harsher than before.  Why didn’t he understand?! Immediately your anger returned,  
“You left me in the dark, bleeding and hurt Loki! You left me down in that prison cell to either bleed out... or just give up...”  
“How many times must I say this.  I never said I didn’t want you!” he placed both hands on your face, his skin was cool and soothed the small pains that still stung your body, but did nothing to extinguish your fury.  
“Don’t act like you ever did or do now! You never wanted me! You wanted some _other_ girl.”  You growled, remembering what The Teacher had told you all those weeks ago.  “You took me on a whim.  I was nothing more than a number! I had resigned to my fate, but then...” You took a breath in and shoved his hands away from your face, “then you threw a rope down into the dark, _putrid_ hole I was in... and just as I reached the top, you _cut_ the rope and let me fall right back down!”  The next second was a blurred rush of adrenaline, however once your mind caught up, a blistering pain spread across of your cheek, making you fall back into the wall.  
“Bite your tongue. Or I-,”  
“WHAT!?”  Damn it, the slap Loki had returned forced tears from your eyes... The wetness was soothing for your burning flesh, but you knew it made you look weak... and that was something you definitely weren’t feeling at the moment... “What could you possibly threaten me with that I haven’t already suffered through!?”  Loki’s momentary silence gave you a chance to wipe away the tears and stand tall once more.  
“I refuse to release you... but I will not discard you either-,”  
“I don’t believe you.” You cut in.  
“What would you have me to do prove it?” You were taken aback by his question.  Was there anything he could do to prove it? You scoured your mind for an adequate response.  
“R-Release all of the other girls...” you stated in a rushed hurry,  
“What?” he asked with raised eyebrows.   You didn’t know why that was the first thing that came to your mind... You certainly hadn’t bonded with any of the girls...  
“If there are any that want to stay then let them... but if they were kidnapped and forced into service like I was and they wish to return home... then release them...” you were half sure your mindless rambling made no sense... but he appeared to be considering your words...  
“My subordinates need--,”  
“They don’t _need_ anything.  They _want_ to force themselves onto malnourished, weak, defenceless and, at times, _underage_ girls... They don’t _need_ anything...” again, he took a moment to take in your words.  
“... Very well...” your mouth fell open.  
“W-What..?”  
“I will give them _one_ opportunity to leave, if they do not take it, then it is their own fault.” You studied his cool composure  
“I don’t believe you... I don’t believe that you’ll let them go...” you murmured softly.  
“Why not?” he growled, trying to temper his anger, but in reality all it did was aggravate both of you more.  
“Because... Because _I_ know what it's like to have someone you love turn on you! Just like you did! And just like you will again! I won’t let myself be taken in by your charms for a second time!”  
“You love me...?”  You froze.  Did you say that? Did you intend to say that? Did you mean it when you said it?  
“That’s what you took from that?!” you stumbled towards the glass window, wanting to put a little distance between you and Loki, but couldn’t move very far because of the limited reach of the chain.  You pulled heedlessly on the chain, knowing it wouldn’t come free, but you needed something to take your anger out on, so, again and again you fought against the strength until your anger was gone, and the only thing your body felt was numbing sadness.  Your (e/c) eyes moved back to Loki, who was still waiting for a response.  “That's why it hurt so much... That's why I didn't want to get up... That's why it still hurts...” You bit back the tears as your legs gave out.  Loki quickly swooped in to catch you.

When his arms hooked around you, your immediate response was to fight against him, the irrational side of your mind fearing a repeat of the other day.  However, his hold on you tightened and he pulled you to his chest, refusing to let you get away.    
“(Name)...” he seized your hand just before it made contact with his face. “Stop...”  You tried to pull away, but you had no chance against his strength.  “Look at me...  _Look at me_...” You stopped fighting and cautiously looked up.  “I will do as you have asked...” the raven haired man looked towards the ceiling “Jarvis. Send this message throughout the tower...  Any girl in training will be given one chance to go free, it is a chance that expires in ten minutes.”  
“What about the girls who have finished their training?” you asked quickly. He looked down to you and continued speaking, his soft eyes intended for you, but his words meant for JARVIS.  
“The offer also extends to those who have finished their training and are in service... If the members of my staff don't follow this order, then _ALL_ of the girls promised to the Chitauri will be released and the rebellious quims will take their place...”  A low beeping rang through the room.  Loki’s hand then slipped to the chain and abruptly squeezed it.  The metal quickly began to dissolve, as if an invisible swarm of locust were devouring the length of chain and collar, until you were free.  “Better?” he asked.  Something in his tone made you think he actually cared... was it real? Could you trust what you were hearing?  You forced your uncertainty away,  
“Yes... thank you.”

Loki once again held you tightly.  You felt awkward and out of place in his arms... but it wasn’t entirely unpleasant... Another low tone sounded through the room.  Loki then pulled away and hand found the small of your back,  
“Come with me...”  You knew you should have moved... but you just couldn’t manage it... “Dove,” Your (e/c) eyes moved to meet his.  “I will not harm you like that again... you have my word.”  
“Can I trust your word...?” you barely managed to choke out.  
“Follow me, and I will prove that you can...” he offered his hand to you.  Hesitantly you reached out and took it.  Once he was sure you weren’t going to pull away again, he led you across the room and out the glass doors to the balcony. 

It was the first time that you noticed that it was night-time...  The sun had set long ago, leaving nothing but the lights from the tower and the full moon to guide you along the long, cold and windy balcony.  In the distance you saw a few lights – probably from fires – signalling that civilisation was not too far away... You came to a sudden halt when a particularly strong gust of wind nearly blew you over.  Having felt your need to stop, Loki did as well.  He waited a moment to see if you would move again, and when you didn’t, he took up position behind you, wrapped his arms around you protectively, and looked down to the glowing lights of the building beneath.  
“Watch the entryway...” he said, gesturing to the bright light that appeared on the ground, signalling an open door. 

Slowly you saw ant-sized people scampering from the doorway and disappearing into the darkness of the surrounding streets.  Loki leaned into you more, forcing you a little closer to the edge.  
“I expected some to stay... but not as many as that...” He thought aloud.  Your brows furrowed as you focused on the few visible girls who were scampering away from the building.  
“What?”  
“There are at least forty women in service and twenty in training... Just over half of them have taken the offer...” he said slowly while his hand found your own.  A shiver ran through your body as Loki leaned down to kiss your neck, and you inadvertently tightened your hold on him.  “You can trust me, (Name)...”  
“I-,”  
“Sir!” called a man from the glass door, cutting off your thoughts. “What is the meaning of thi-,” Loki turned and flicked his wrist, sending the obnoxious guard with fluorescent red hair flying across the bedroom and into the thick walls.  The raven haired man then escorted you to the glass door before stepping inside before you, ready to deal with the unwanted intruder.  
“I do not care why you are here, nor do I care for being interrupted.” the raven haired man snarled as he made a B line straight for the dazed guard.  Loki didn’t even bother waiting for the man to think of a response. “Don’t bother speaking... Just remove yourself from my presence before I change my mind and kill you where you _grovel_.”  The guard flinched back with Loki’s words before quickly clambering to his feet and hurrying away.  

Loki ran a hand through his slicked back hair before turning back to you and guiding you all the way inside.  “The guards who have lost their girls are about to get unruly and bold with their malcontent...” he said to himself.  “I'm going to take you away from here while you finish recovering... How does that sound?” he asked with a small smile.   
“I... uh-.” You cleared your throat, not really sure how to respond.  Did you want to be alone with him? Could you trust him while you were alone together?  What if a repeat of the other day happened?  
“As much as I would like to be soft with you my dear, that wasn’t a request...  I’m going to take you away from the tower so you can have calm and undisturbed rest...” You slowly gnawed on your lips before nodding your head, too tired and emotionally drained to last another bout of arguing with him... Maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t turn out badly... But you certainly doubted it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so... I don’t know... :| Did I spend too much time on Loki...? Was the Loki part even necessary? Did everyone notice that he didn’t once call reader-chan “Pet” (He’s getting there ladies! Slowly... So very slowly...), Was reader-chan realistic? She isn't going to be as submissive any more, but seeing as she's a rape victim, I thought she wouldn't be overly dominant at the same time... Please tell me what you think!!!!!! OAO I DONT KNOWWWWWWW!!!!!! 
> 
> Also, after the comments on the last chapter (51 in total) I would love to get the same amount of comments on this one!!!(Though, I would most certainly take whatever you offer). Seriously guys, I know your commenting potential now, and Imma be nagging you for it every update... XD
> 
> Again... let me know what you think... I'm really tired at the moment and have no clue if this chapter is actually any good... If you guys didn't like it, then let me know and I'll change it. :/


	17. Healing: Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it all took so long. School started again, and some other fics had to be updated first... 
> 
> Okay guys, please remember what I said at the start of the story. (Something along the lines of) “This won’t be the normal romance fic, this won’t be an apple pie romance, but it will eventually get sweeter.” Now, in saying that, there have been a few people who have said that the sweeter side isn't what they want in a fic, and to that I say: Loki is Loki. What you have seen thus far is Loki at his (semi) worst. All that will change in the fic is that he will pare the anger back a little bit... He will still have moments where he loses his cool, but not to the same extent as the past chapters.

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 17

 _***  
_ _You slowly gnawed on your lips before nodding your head, too tired and emotionally drained to last another bout of arguing with him... Maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t turn out badly... But you certainly doubted it..._  
***

After Loki dealt with two more irate guards – of course ‘dealt’ really meant ‘telekinetically threw them against the wall’ – he decided that the trip couldn’t wait until the morning; and the next thing you knew you were on your way to a small airstrip. 

When you were led to the car, something in your mind snapped and your stomach churned uncontrollably.  You didn’t want to go... You _couldn’t_... When he had said he would take you away, you thought he was just trying to... to... You didn’t even know!  But it was all too real now... He was taking you away from the place you unwillingly called ‘home’, and taking you to – _where_? You didn’t even know that!

Taking a deep breath, you looked to the darkness through the tinted window of the car as it swerved around large pieces of fallen buildings.  The city was completely desolate and silent.  Shops had been destroyed and raided before they were abandoned, homes and apartments forgotten, and belongings left behind.  Being in the tower and looking down on it all was one thing... but actually being on the streets, seeing the dark patches of blood that sucked in all light that touched it, and the crumpled remains of bodies... it made you sick...  The car quickly passed through a tall tower, made of what looked like scraps of metal.  You looked over your shoulder.  As soon as the car was clear of the makeshift building, a bright blue wall of energy rose from the ground, and once it reached the top of the building it disappeared into the darkness of the city.  Was that a force field?  You’d seen enough sci-fi shows to know one when you see one... but is that really what you had seen?

You pushed the thought from your mind.  What did it matter anyway...? Force-field or not, you weren’t behind the walls of Stark Tower any more... Hesitantly you looked towards Loki before quickly retracting your gaze.  Being in the close confines of a car with Loki made breathing nigh-on impossible... In through the nose, out through the mouth... In through the nose, out through the mouth... Just stay calm.  Don’t scream.  Don’t cry.  Just sit, and breathe... Don’t forget to breathe...  
“Dove...” Loki called, causing you to jump slightly.  You forced yourself to look over to him.  “We’re here...” he said, eyeing you for a moment before leaving the back seat of the car.  You took a moment to calm your racing heart and followed.  You thought you were ready... You thought you were okay... but you weren’t.  You were sure that if you stayed around him, you would crumble...  
How had you been so strong before? Why could you speak your mind then, but too terrified to even utter a word now?!  You harshly bit down on your tongue to stop yourself from screaming and slid out of the car.

Loki took your arm and guided you up a small set of stairs to a large private jet.  You swore your jaw hit the floor when you entered the plane...  It was far beyond any other aeroplane than you had been on before.  Soft golden light filled the cabin.  Hints of dark brown wood contrasted the pale creams and deep gold.  There were seats for around ten people, four around a shining, wooden dining table, another few were nearer the back with a bar opposite them; and then there was the plush golden couch that Loki took a seat on.  It was more than large enough for one person to lie on comfortably, but he didn’t lie down... He was sitting with one knee over the other, and gesturing for you to join him.  
“Come on...” Loki said dully.  You tensed slightly and took jagged steps towards him.  When you reached the couch, you rigidly took your seat, trying to sit as far away as you could without him noticing... but Loki’s arm soon draped around you and pulled you towards his chest.  You stopped your need to whimper by biting down hard on your lips.  “It’s a long flight my dear...” he pulled you tighter to his chest and forced your head to recline on his shoulder, “You may as well get comfortable.” You looked over the top of the dining table and out the window.  Slowly the jet began to move,  
“Where are we going?” you murmured.  Loki chuckled softly,  
“Malibu, my dear...  To a wonderfully secluded beach house...”  The force from the raised speed of the plane pushed you harder into Loki’s chest.  To your surprise, he didn’t seem to mind; but you did... The clean, fresh scent of his skin was both delightful and nauseating, and the touch of his hand sent electricity through your body while also bringing back memories of your time in the cells... How could one person manage to do so many things to you all at once?!  You hated the conflicting thoughts, you hated the emotions at war within your heart, you hated that you still felt something other than hatred for Loki!

You tensed slightly as the plane finally lifted into the air.  It was one of the irritating parts of flying.  The feeling of your stomach moving into your lower intestines before slowly travelled back towards your lungs.  You shuddered as the twist in your stomach gradually passed, thankful that you could keep the remaining food in your stomach from coming up.  You felt Loki’s fingertips gently trail down your arm, and back up, before going back down... You tightly closed your eyes, and silently hoped Loki wouldn’t grow bored on the travel...

***

There were blurred moments and vague memories of you falling asleep, the plane landing, and being carried down stairs, however, that was where the vague haze ended, because the cool air of the very early morning was like a slap in the face. 

Your eyes opened slowly and shifted in Loki’s arms.  The plane had landed on a nearly deserted road, you looked to the right; the road tapered off to one side, following the line of a cliff.  Your eyes then moved to the sky.  It was scarcely lit with pale yellow-orange light.  It was probably five in the morning... too early for the sun to make a complete appearance, but light enough to ensure sleep was slightly more than difficult. In the distance, up a gradually inclining hill, were the dim remnants of an illuminated house.  You could hear the soft sounds of waves crashing on the rocks, and the gentle sound of birds in calling to one another in the very early morning light.  A car sat waiting for you, ready to make the climb through a tree-lined driveway.  A shadow covered man opened the door, allowing Loki to place you in the car before slipping in next to you. 

The drive up the curving road was fast.  Briefly you caught sight of a helicopter pad and what looked like tennis courts... but both disappeared behind concrete retaining walls that kept the largely uneven ground from falling on top of the levelled and dazzling house... The driveway then split off into two different directions, one led to a lower level, probably an underground garage – or something even more extravagant – and the other circled around an unmoving water feature, giving enough room for probably seven or eight large cars to park and still be only a few steps from the front door.  The driver stopped directly in front of the door; Loki exited the car and waited for you to follow behind.  You did, but you were still too consumed by your surroundings to pay any real attention to what you were doing or where you were going...

Untamed gardens crept up the concrete retaining walls and over their raised beds, you started walking towards one peculiarly beautiful flower, entranced by its colour and seeming luminance in the disappearing moonlight, but before you reached it Loki snagged your arm and lead you into the building.  Anxiety began to once again build in your chest as you saw the car drive away.  You were really alone with him... If he became irritated, or displeased, he could easily kill you, and no one would ever know, nor would anyone actually care... Your mind froze.  Thor... What had happened to him?  Loki hadn’t mentioned him much at all... Was he... Was he dead...?  
“(Name)...” Loki said.  Your eyes snapped up.  He still had hold of your hand but was a fair distance in front of you.  “Is something wrong?” he stepped closer and ran his fingertips over your cheek.  
“I-...” You shook your head.  “You’ll get mad...” You almost sounded like a child; your voice too quiet and timid to belong to a(n) (adult/teen).  He eyed you curiously for a moment.  
“It’s about Thor, isn’t it?” a soft gasp caught in your throat and your eyes widened.   His hand moved to your hair.  You had half expected him to yank your head downwards roughly... but he didn’t... Instead he allowed his fingers to play gingerly in you (h/c) hair.  “I would prefer it if you didn’t mention him while we are here...” his voice was forcibly calm – you could tell he was supressing his other emotions and the dark glint to his eyes only enforced your thoughts.   
“Could you just tell me... is he dead?” he remained silent for a moment.  
“No; he still rots in that cell, and that is where he will stay until The Avengers fall.” You thought that knowing would put your mind at ease... but it didn’t...  In fact it only made you worry more; but before you had a chance to ask anything else, Loki began to lead you through the house.  You were too absorbed in your own mind to truly take in anything... You noticed floor to ceiling glass windows facing the ocean... you noticed a futuristic style, considering every wall was ever-so-slightly curved, but you couldn’t retain any of the layout... That is until he led you to the bedroom...

The room was huge, and the wall nearest the beach curved outwards.  Two large glass doors stood on either side of the king bed, a small coffee table and seats were off of the foot of the bed, drawers, cupboards and what you presumed to be a walk in robe was placed all around the other walls.  Loki walked up to the bed and sat down on the edge of the bed, you slowly walked to a seat near the coffee table, but you didn’t sit down; you were too preoccupied running different scenarios through your mind to take that luxury.  Was he intending to have sex with you? Did he actually expect you to spend the night in the same bed with him? Tears sprung to the corners of your eyes.  In your mind you knew you should have followed him... But a large part of you couldn’t stand the idea of being in the same bed as him... Hesitantly you looked up.  He was looking directly at you, a hint of anger – or was it sadness – in his eyes...   
“Dove, come here...” he said, extending his hand.  You wanted too... Well... not exactly... Your mind was _telling you_ to move before Loki had a chance to do something; but your body refused to listen. “Dove...” he repeated again.  You shook your head,  
“I-I can’t...” you mumbled while slowly stumbling backwards.  His eyes sharpened.   
“Dove...” he stood and stepped forward.  You chewed on your inner lip and shook your head.  “I thought we were passed this!” he snared as he flicked his wrist, breaking the nearby cupboard.  You flinched and clenched your jaw as it cracked and splintered into millions of little pieces before falling to the ground.  
“You think I would just forget what you did to me?” when his dark eyes moved back to you, your knees hit the back of a seat, and you fell a top it.   
“You said you loved me.” You could tell he wanted to yell... but he was restraining himself...  
“I-,” he had you there... You grit your teeth. “I was mad.  I was scared.  And-,”  
“And _what_?!”  
“And I can’t take this... I can’t take living in fear!” you tore your eyes away from him and buried your head in your hands, trying to hide the tears that pricked at your eyes. “I’m so afraid that I will say the wrong thing, that I will do the wrong thing... I’m afraid how you will react... and I’m so sick of it... I’m just so fucking sick of being scared!”  Silent sobs wracked your body, but when you heard Loki shift forward, you froze.  What was he doing? Where was he going? You should look up... You should _really_ look up... but you just couldn’t....  
“I will stay in the room down the hall, until you are ready to have me in your bed again...” Your eyes widened and you found yourself able to look up in stages; first his feet and legs, then his chest... then his face.  The dark light in his eyes told you he was still supressing his other emotions, but you could clearly see his sadness and pain. “Does that suit you?” he asked.    
“Yes,” you hadn’t realised that you had been holding your breath until you spoke, but after that single word you gulped down air greedily.  Loki turned to leave, but stopped in the doorway.  Shit... Had he changed his mind? Was he going to force you into the bed? Was-,  
“Good night, (Name)...” he muttered softly before leaving you alone in the eerily dark room.

You were trembling... why? He was gone... He was... He was... Silent tears slipped down your cheeks.  Why were you crying?! You didn’t even bother trying to wipe away the tears, there were too many for you to ever get under control.  You clutched your aching chest.  It felt like someone was standing on you, stopping any attempt you made to catch your breath.  It was such a familiar feeling... It was guilt... But why would you feel guilty?! He had done nothing but harm you – the pain in your chest suddenly worsened, and an intense bout of nausea ran through you.  Was your body trying to argue with you?  Your brows furrowed.  No.  That was stupid.  You took a deep breath and slowly made your way over to the bed. 

Your steps were numb and sluggish, when you reached the foot of the bed; you fell onto its softness and curled up.  The longer you lay atop the bed, the more it started to feel too big, too empty, too _cold_... But you couldn’t bear the thought of moving at the time...  So you curled up tighter on top of the blanket, cuddled a pillow close, and slowly began to drift away...

***

**It was like no dream you had ever had before... it was so real, but unknown at the same time... Of course, you knew it was a dream the moment you opened your eyes and saw a bright blue sky filled with white fluffy clouds, and felt the warmth of the sun on your skin.  As much as you wanted it to be real... you knew it wasn’t... There was no place left on Earth like this...**   
**“Do you fear me?” a deep voice echoed in your mind. Your brows furrowed.**   
**“Who’s there?” you asked as you sat up.**   
**“Do you hate me?” the voice slowly became clearer and more familiar.**   
**“What?”**   
**“Would you still recoil at my touch?” a cold shudder ran down your spine as the voice finally came into focus.**   
**“L-Loki...?” you squeaked.**

**Suddenly you felt the grassy ground shift underneath you and morph into the secure warmth of another person.  A gasp caught in your throat as strong arms wrapped around you.**  
 **“W-What is this?” You struggled against the near suffocating grip,**  
 **“I should ask you the same thing... No matter how I tried, I could never enter your dreams before... but now, something has changed.  What is it?” Loki whispered into your ear before tenderly running his lips over your neck.**  
 **“I... I...” Just when you capable of real speech, the dream slipped away...**  

***

Your eyes cracked open.  You vaguely noticed the blankets and pillows thrown around and off of the bed, as well as the grey light filtering in through the windows, but sleep quickly found you once more; you were too exhausted and confused to linger on anything for any longer than necessary...

When you woke up the second time, you immediately noticed your limbs were stiff, and your head ached terribly.  You rubbed your forehead and tried to remember what the cause would have been... but the last thing you remembered was Loki leaving you alone... No dream, no nightmare... and no memory of even getting into bed!  You sighed and rolled onto your side, felling hesitant to leave the bedroom, the confusion of the whole situation still lingering in your mind.  However, soon the alluring smell of frying bacon, eggs and toast eventually reached you, and drew you from the room. 

Your room was at the end of a long, dark hallway – though you guessed it was only dark because all the doors along the way were closed.  After a few failed attempts at opening locked doors, you swiftly moved down the hallway and towards the only source of light you could actually see.

The hallway opened up to a light filled lounge room and dining room, which were separated by a dividing wall.  A few stylish lounges sat in the lounge room and you saw the possibility for the large glass walls to open onto a thin verandah.  The concrete dividing wall had a fire place in the middle, acting like a small window between the two rooms.  Vaguely you saw the legs of a glass and metal table, and the browning fronds of a pot plant, but you were moving too quickly through the two rooms to notice anything else.  The search for the cook making breakfast had consumed your mind.   Maybe it would be a maid... or someone else who could save you from the solitude of - - You swore your jaw nearly hit the floor when your eyed found the kitchen...

Loki was... Loki was _cooking_.  Since when does the almighty and pompous Loki do anything for himself?  The maids would bring to food for him in the tower... Your brows furrowed, you two were really alone in the house... No maids, no servants... no one except for the two of you... He must have noticed you staring, because he turned to you with a raised eyebrow.  
“What?” Your eyes widened and you shook your head.  
“N-Nothing...” The raven haired man gestured to the small dining table in front of the kitchen,  
“Take a seat.” He said before bringing two plates to the table. 

Nervously you sat down and picked at the plate of food.  To your surprise, it was actually edible, and certainly didn’t taste like it was poisoned... or drugged... As nervous as you felt, you couldn’t help the small smirk that began creeping onto your face; the thought of Loki cooking and cleaning, all while wearing a frilly pink apron was the only thing that stuck in your mind.  
“Do you find something amusing?” he asked suddenly.  
“I-I... uh...” his eyes locked with your own.  
“Spit it out...” he said dully while sipping on coffee.  
“I just never really thought of you doing house work... It just...” you shrugged with a small chuckle, “It seems kind of oddly cute...” You froze.  Did you just call Loki cute? Your eyes refocused on the raven haired man.  An amused smirk pulled at his lips.  
“I’m glad I could be entertaining for you... However, if you want a real show, then perhaps you should stick around and help with the dishes...” he said with a playful smile.  A reluctant smile pulled at your lips and you laughed quietly.  “Tell me my dear, after you’re finished, would you care to take a walk with me?” he asked with curiosity in his eyes.   
“Where too?” you asked warily.  
“Along the beach.” He answered, gesturing to the large window to your left. 

The sky was a pale grey, there were a few darker clouds, and some lighter clouds, but the overwhelming greyness was inescapable.  The water mimicked the sky, and looked completely unsettled; waves crashed on themselves and onto the rocks that rose out of the water.   
“It looks a little glum...” you mumbled to yourself.  
“Then we can spend the day inside...” Loki said colourlessly.  
“ _No_.” you said sharply while quickly turning back to him. “C-Could we go now?  It looks like it’s going to rain...” you asked slower, trying to make up for your brashness only moments ago.  Loki nodded while standing, and walked towards what looked to be an elevator.  You followed behind, ensuring you stayed at an arm’s length, just to be safe.

***

When you entered the elevator, you came to learn that the house had three levels.  One above the floor you were on and another directly below... but they weren’t where you were going.  Loki pressed the large “BF” button and the elevator began to move.

When the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened, you were immediately assaulted with the strong scent of the water and the gusting wind coming from over the sea.  It blew your (h/c) hair around your face, and very nearly managed to push the hem of your dress over your head.  Fighting against the flailing green fabric, you looked around. 

Concrete columns from the house reached all the way down to the sand, your eyes drifted upwards; the house hung over the cliff slightly, and you noted that if one of the columns gave way, you would definitely be squished.  Putting that ‘ _delightful_ ’ thought away, your eyes moved to the scenery in front of you.  To your right was a high and far reaching cliff, and to your right, a small private beach filled with small trees, lots of sand, and a few fallen boulders from the cliffs above.  Loki gently wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you along the pale yellow sand and towards the edge of the water.

The sand was warmer than you thought it would be, and sent a pleasant tingle through your legs.  You both moved further down towards the water, every once and a while the waves would reach your feet, it too was warmer than you thought.  Cautiously you stepped further away from Loki, and stepped into the lukewarm water.  You could have quite happily fallen into the open arms of the ocean and just let the waves wash over you... You closed your eyes and imagined the weightlessness of floating in the water.  You were so wound up in your own daydream that you stopped watching where you were walking, and something incredibly hard suddenly hit the tips of your toes,  
“Mother fu-,” you groaned and gritted your teeth through the pain while trying to steady your one legged hopping; however it did little good because you fell directly onto your arse.  Loki turned and looked at you before he bent down and picked up what looked like a rock.  You supressed the need to glare at him and instead focused on rubbing your still throbbing foot,  
“I thought the seashells of Midgard were regarded as beautiful...” Loki said as he took a step closer to you.  You looked up.  A faint glimmer of shining silver passed through his fingers.  You smiled and shook your head.  
“It is...” you said.  Loki’s brows furrowed and he looked at you as if you were crazy.  You sighed and pulled the shell from his hand before turning it around and handing it back. “It’s some type of clam shell... or something... You know the ones that make pearls?”  
“Don’t think me to be a fool...” he said as he took a seat next to you.  Loki then took your hand, placed the shell back in your hand before covering it with his other.  “Pearls are a rare and expensive commodity, even on Asgard...” he pulled his hand away and when he did, a three layered beaded necklace of pearls hung from his fingers, the separate rows linking together with a large crystal flower.  “They say that pearls are the queens of the gems... and the gem of queens...” He mused while gently lowering the necklace back into the clam shell. 

You kept your eyes fixed on the pearls too sure that if you looked at him your heart would stop completely.  But Loki had other ideas.  His hand found your chin and forced you to look directly into his eyes.  He gave you a moment to steady your breathing before he spoke again.  
“I intend to kiss you...” your mouth fell open slightly, but before you could voice your uncertainty, Loki leaned forward and pressed his lips to your own.  At first you intended to pull away... but... it wasn’t like most of the kisses you had been forced to endure. It was soft... sweet... and incredibly short.  In fact, Loki pulled away before you had a chance to.  He gently ran his thumb over your lips before he retracted his hand.  “Shall we continue our walk, or would you prefer to sit here a while longer?” he asked while pulling you closer.  You took a few steadying breaths,  
“S-Sit... a little while longer...” Loki smiled,  
“Good choice...” he whispered while making himself a little more comfortable next to you. 

***

Minutes – or was it hours – of silence passed.  You scolded yourself. No, definitely not hours... it was still too light for that much time to have passed.  Either way it didn’t matter; regardless of the time you still spent the entire time either staring at the pearls, or closely examining the creases and folds of Loki’s silky shirt.   
“Who was it?” he said suddenly,  
“Wh-What?” you asked.  
“You said you knew what it was like to have someone betray you...” Loki trailed off, leaving you a chance to answer his question. ‘ _Get out! He doesn’t want you here!_ ’ the screaming words of a by-gone time echoed through your head. You took a deep breath,  
“It wasn’t really a betrayal... it could almost be seen as justified hatred...” you muttered under your breath.   
“What?” Loki asked.  You shook your head and stood up wanting to continue walking,  
“It’s nothing...”  Swiftly Loki stood, placed his hand on your shoulder and stopped you from taking another step.   
“Tell me.” He said with authority in his tone.  A muddle of indescribable emotions churned in your stomach, but the first one you recognised was irritation – so you went with that, ignoring any protest the other emotions made.     
“Do you _actually_ care? Or is this just another way to torment me?!” You shoved his hand away, “I can’t believe I actually let you get to me again!” You yelled before starting back to the house. 

The whole walk back you didn’t even bother looking over your shoulder, both out of fear and aggravation.  That didn’t mean you couldn’t feel Loki’s eyes on your back. About half way back you realised that you must have dropped the shell... A sigh passed through your lips.  You wanted to go back and pick it up... but you couldn’t bear the thought of facing him... Wanting to calm yourself, you ran a hand through your hair before continuing to walk... You pressed the button and half expected Loki to be behind you... but he wasn’t... You sighed to yourself and entered the elevator. 

When you reached the lounge room, you mouth very nearly fell open.  Loki was sitting, quite calmly, on the couch.  
“Now Dove, you shouldn’t run off like that.” He said as he glanced up to you.  “You’re supposed to be resting; walking back in such an irritable state will put unnecessary strain on you.” The sharpness in his voice made the bitterness return to your blood,  
“I’m fi-,” you paused.  “ _Actually_...” you started.  “I’m a little tired...” you trailed off, not sure if you should ask permission to return to your room, or just leave...  
“Well go on then...” Loki almost growled.  You nodded and quickly trotted off to your room. 

You didn’t bother leaving your room for dinner, and Loki didn’t bother calling for you... So you just laid down, sprawled out on the bed, until nearly midnight when sleep unwillingly found you.

***

**You were sprinting down the hallways, a million thoughts a second running through your head; but the most predominant was _‘Please, don’t be dead... please, don’t be dead...!_ ’ You rounded the corner and nearly managed to trip over an empty stretcher.   
“Sorry!” You said to the nurse pushing the bed as you continued on your path.  However, when you reached a fork in the road, you paused.  “3-B... 3-B...” You looked at the numbers on the doors, and decided right was the way to go... **

**About halfway down the hallway you came to a halt.**   
**“What are _you_ doing here?” a familiar voice called.  It was his fiancée, Edith...**   
**“I-I just...” the hate filled glare coming from the elderly woman stopped you mid-sentence.**   
**“You don’t contact him in over three years, and you show up _now_?” she spat, venom lacing her words.  Your mouth fell open, and for a moment strength returned to your body.**   
**“I didn’t call in all that time because the last time we spoke he did nothing but yell and scream at me! Or did you forget that _he_ said he wanted nothing to do with me?!”**   
**“Then why are you here?! Get out! He doesn’t want you here!” she screamed.  It was like a knife to the chest.  You tried to sort out your thoughts into a coherent sentence, but before you had a chance a security guard stepped in.**   
**“Is everything alright Ma’am?” he asked Edith.  She turned to the tall man,**   
**“My husband is trying to rest, would you please escort _her_ out?” she said, gesturing to you.  Wait... when did they get married? The tall man turned to you, and placed his hand on your back, readying to lead you away.**   
**“N-No, wait! I’m his granddaughter!” you said as you fought against the security guards hold.  He paused and turned back towards Edith, searching for an answer.**   
**“Look on his next of kin list... She won’t be there... He _has_ no granddaughter.”**

***

You shot up in bed, gasping for air with cold sweat covering your body.  You were too numb to feel anything, except for maybe the hatred for your own self-pity... You detested this feeling, but you couldn’t do anything to stop it, not once the feelings started snowballing... Slowly you slid out of bed – pulling the duvet with you – walked into the large living room, and huddled yourself on the hanging white egg chair directly in front of the window.  Loki woke up some time after you.  Instead of trying to force you out of the house or into any other situation, he sat down with a book and read silently...

You spent the entire day just staring out at the waves as they broke on the rocky shore below... Every once and a while you sensed Loki’s eyes move to you, but he didn’t say anything... When you felt his eyes on you, a nervous lump formed in your throat, and you found you lungs incapable of taking in air.  But it would always pass... It was almost like he was checking you were still alive...

*Loki’s POV*

Damn _her_... Damn _this_... Damn _everything_!  Loki could only focus on the thick book for a little while before he felt the need to look at her once more.  What had he done wrong yesterday?!  He pulled back his own emotions... He pulled back his need to reprimand her! So why did _she_ still pull away?! Why does she _still_ distance herself?! Loki clenched his jaw as his nails dug into the slick cover of the book.  _‘She needs more time; stop being so impatient’_ A voice – that sounded strangely like Thor's – echoed through his head.  Loki reasoned it was his conscious.  Ironic that his voice was the one he thought of when he didn’t know what to do... He took a deep breath to steady himself.  _‘Ask her for forgiveness..._ ’ He didn’t need to ask for forgiveness.  (Name) already had - - Loki’s mind stopped.  Had she forgiven him?  He had just assumed that she had... His emerald eyes lifted to her once more; and immediately he felt like an utter fool... but he wouldn’t admit it... He could never admit it... Nor would his pride allow him to grovel at the feet of a mortal... Not while she showed no sign of letting him in...

*Your POV*

By the time the afternoon sun broke through the clouds, you had had enough... He was so God damn confusing.  All the mixed signals, and conflicting reactions... Thor had told you of Loki’s anger towards him and his father... He had told you of the hatred he felt for everyone and everything on Earth... but he had not told you why... You had to know why, you had to have him tell you _why_.  
“Why...” you started, but your voice caught in your throat, stopping you from finishing,  
“Why what?”  You took a deep breath.   
“Y-You said you didn’t want me to bring him up... But I have to know... Why do you hate your brother so much?” you asked as your eyes moved to the raven haired man.  You saw him visibly stiffen, and his eyes glaze over slightly.  He slammed his book shut and placed it on the lounge next to him.   
“Why? Why do you ‘ _need’_ to know?” he growled.  
“Because I have to know there was a real reason... A _real_ reason for _everything_ you’ve done.” Loki’s eyes scanned you for a moment before he began speaking.  
“I will tell you, if you tell me _your_ story...” your lips pursed, but you nodded.  Loki took a deep breath, clearly irritated you had agreed to his deal.  “I grew up in a shadow... No matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, I was never good enough.” He chuckled bitterly, “and I only learnt a short time ago that it was never truly my fault; that even though I was better than Thor in every way, my so-called ‘ _father’_ would have never chosen me over that _dull brute_...” Loki trailed off, growing more and more irate with each passing word.  
“Why?” you asked, barely above a whisper. His intense gaze met your own,  
“Because I wasn’t his.  To him I was nothing more than the spoils of war...” he snarled darkly.  Your brows furrowed.  Spoils of war?  During your time with Thor, he had told you Loki was adopted, but he had not mentioned a War... “It was over nine hundred years ago,” Loki started, sensing your confusion, “Odin and his army fought against the Frost Giants of Jotunheim...  At the end of the battle Odin took me, and for my entire life lied about my true parentage... while also dangling the throne of Asgard over my head, something I now know I could never have...” a small smirk pulled at his lips, “Unless of course I took it by force...”  
“So the only reason you’re here is to spite your father?” he didn’t respond. “Millions of people have died Loki!”  
“Did you weep for the hundreds of thousands of people who died _every day_ before I arrived? Or is death different when you can put a face to it?”  
“It’s different when _one person_ causes it all... Do you not feel any guilt?”  
“Should I?” he asked. “Had they done what I asked, no one would have died.  It is their own fault for trying to stand up to a _God_.” Your jaw clenched.  Was he really so heartless?!  
“If you don’t feel anything... then why does this matter so much to you?! I still don’t understand why you have to prove yourself to your father!”  
“He is _not_ my father, and I no longer care what he thinks of me,”  
“You _do_ care Loki! He may not be your biological father, but he was the one who raised you! He was the one who loved you! You cannot tell me it means nothing!” Loki opened his mouth to reply, but you cut him off. “I know it hurts when someone like that throws you away Loki! I know exactly how it hurts!” Loki lowered his gaze.  He was hurting... you knew what he told you had barely scratched the surface of his life, and for him to react so violently, the wounds were still fresh – perhaps too fresh to be prodding... You tucked a few stray strands of hair behind your ear.  You wanted to hate him... You _should_ hate him... but you couldn’t manage to close your heart off...

Slowly you felt the tension in the room dissipate into an all too familiar silence.   
“Dove...” Loki started, “Would you sing for me?”    
“M-My throat hurts...” you lied, thinking it would probably be better than just flatly saying no.  His emerald eyes lingered on you for a moment before returning to the book.  
“Well how about just music? I’ve grown sick of listening to the wall clock ticking...” he gestured to a large touch screen tablet mounted in the wall without looking up.  You stood and made your way over to the tablet.  The device turned-on on its own, so you flicked lazily through the songs, hoping one would eventually peak your interest. 

It seemed like every song ever written was listed... You moved through the list faster until one song caught your eye.  A small smile pulled at your lips. You may not have liked the movie that brought it to everyone’s attention, but you absolutely loved the almost nonsensical lyrics and the slow, peaceful melody... You pressed the play button on the touch screen and turned around to face Loki.  He was still refusing to look at you.  You slowly stepped forward as the lyrics to the song began to play.  
 _‘I was a quick, wet boy,_  
Diving too deep for coins,   
All of your street light eyes,  
Wide on my plastic toys,  
And when the cops closed the fair,  
I cut my long baby hair,  
Stole me a dog-eared map,  
And called for you everywhere...’  
When you reached Loki, you gently reached out and took hold of his hands.  To say you were nervous would have been an understatement – and the fact that you definitely weren’t much of a dancer didn’t help at all – but you felt a need to be close to him, to touch him, and have him hold you. 

The raven haired prince was reluctant to stand to begin with, but as you started to sway and rock back and forth, he decided to stand and join you.  Almost immediately you moved closer to him and wrapped your arms around his chest while continuing to sway. You hummed along with the gentle melody and closed your eyes.  
“I am sorry (Name)...” Loki murmured softly. Your eyes widened.  You couldn’t believe he actually said it... Softly you nuzzled into his chest and nodded,  
“I know...” your throat was so dry that it caused your voice to crackle.  Loki’s hands moved to your shoulders and carefully pulled you away,  
“Please, say that you forgive me...” Suddenly your chest tightened and any thought that you had in your head escaped your grasp.  How could he ask for such a thing? A better question: Could you grant it to him? Loki’s hand ran through your hair.  “You don’t have too...but...” he trailed off as he gently cupped your cheek with a sigh. He took a moment to recollect himself.  “All I ask for is your love (Name),” your eyes widened, “love me (Name), and I will give you the world...” he said with a sad smile.  You could feel the tears slowly slipping down your cheeks, and while your mind may have started working again, your voice still remained silent.  You didn’t want the world... You wanted _him_ , like this.  You wanted him kind, soft... You wanted him to hold you close and not constantly fear retaliation... nothing more, nothing less... Slowly your hands moved to cover his, removing them from your cheeks,  
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive you for what you did...” The shock and pain in his eyes made you look away.  “I don’t think I will ever be able to overlook it either...  but... Maybe...” You took a deep breath, “Maybe I – maybe _we_ – could somehow find a way through it all...” you whispered.   
“I will take whatever you are willing to give me...” Loki wrapped his arms around you and started to sway once more. 

There was still something in the back of your mind that told you to stay alert.  This wasn’t the first time he’d been kind, and if history were to repeat, then his bad side would come back with a vengeance soon...   Because, really, what was he? He was your captor, your ruler, your master, your saviour, your tormentor.... and now? Just what was he to you now? He was still too distant and cold for a lover, but too gentle and kind for a Master... Just what was he to you...?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Did anyone else catch the slight Labyrinth reference??)  
> Now does the title of the fic make sense??? I’ve been planning on something like this for a while.  
> If you haven’t already figured out, music is actually a big part of the story, “Cosmic Love” was from Reader-chan’s perspective, “Flightless Bird, American Mouth” and the title, “Give Me Love”, were both from Loki’s POV. If you’d like more detail as to why I chose them/the meaning I see behind them (in regards to this story) then let me know~  
> Also, there may be one or two more songs in the story, but until I start writing and listen to a song that just fits, I won’t know what it will be ^^ - - In saying that, there is a whole list of songs I think relate to this story, if you'd like to know what they are, comment below and I'll either send it to you (via a reply) or put them in the notes of the next chapter. 
> 
> Fun Fact: *Me when I googled Tony's Beach house* Malibu... Malibu... *Googles flight time from New York to Malibu, having confused it with Miami* FUUUUUUUUU.... Tha-wha-huh?! They're on opposite sides of the country!!! Q-Q There goes the idea of a casual helicopter flight from New York to Florida... Oh well... Private jet time! 
> 
> Comment below and let me know what you think please!!! I'm afraid this chapter may be a little fractured and... stuff... Please just tell me if you like it... (66 comments last chapter. Can you beat it?!!)


	18. Relinquishing (some) Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAH Sorry this took so long! (Though, considering I had originally planned to upload this tomorrow, I'm ahead!)
> 
> Also, sorry if it's not edited properly... :/ I don't know why, but I just couldn't manage the second proof read... If there are any major mistakes, let me know!

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 18

_***_  
There was still something in the back of your mind that told you to stay alert.  This wasn’t the first time he’d been kind, and if history were to repeat, then his bad side would come back with a vengeance soon...   Because, really, what was he? _He was your captor, your ruler, your master, your saviour, your tormentor.... and now? Just what was he to you now? He was still too distant and cold for a lover, but too gentle and kind for a Master... Just what was he to you...?!_  
***

When the song ended, Loki pulled away.  
“Come with me...” he said while gingerly placing his arms around your waist.   
“Where are we going...?” You murmured, but the raven haired man ignored your question.  You had half expected him to lead you to the bedroom, but he didn’t. He led you to the elevator, and took you to the level above the lounge room.  The whole ride up, he never removed his arm from your waist. It was both soothing and unnerving...

When the doors opened, you were surprised... It felt more homely than the other level – and also more expensive at the same time.  There were small tables, filled with knick-knacks and various books, comfortable looking leather chairs and lounges; a curving staircase sat along one wall that disappeared behind a wall of trickling water, as well as a - - you knees almost went weak when you saw it.  A large, polished grand piano sat at the far end of the room, raised on its own level with a slick, black bar behind it.  Loki busied himself trying to get all of the lights to work, and you took that chance to walk towards the piano. 

Your hand skimmed over the silky, polished black body and you breathed in the lightly wooden scent.  During your first year of high school, the music department had splurged to buy a baby grand piano – and once they did, you and your friends would spend your lunch times inside either playing or just chatting... A small nostalgic smile pulled at your lips.  Of course by the end of the year someone had broken into the room and broke the piano... The happy smile slowly slipped away, replaced with an almost bitter scowl.   
“Can you play?” Loki asked, making you jump slightly and turn towards him.  
“I-I-uh...” your stuttering trailed off as you met his green gaze.  “I used to play when I was younger... but I haven’t played in years...” You turned slightly, lifted the keylid and pressed down on a key.  “I honestly don’t know if I’d remember everything...” You said while turning back to Loki.  The raven haired man looked over his shoulder to the ascending staircase, and then back to you.   
“Play for me?” he asked while stepping up to you.  For a second you hesitated, but Loki quickly guided you to sit down on the small, creaking seat in front of the piano. 

Hesitantly you looked to Loki before turning your attention back to the ivory white and ebony black keys.  Your fingers slowly slipped across the cool surface, it had been years since you had played.  School, work and life continued to get in the way... but you were happy to find that your muscles and hands seemed to remember what to do.  You started off with a few familiar, yet nameless tunes that eventually morphed into Clair De Lune – though, you weren’t quite sure _how_ it happened... Suddenly your mind began to drift away; you the pressure of the keys beneath your fingertips, but your mind in another place, another familiar and unwanted memory... The hours upon hours blasting music in your headphones to block out the screaming match between your mother and her boyfriend... You took a deep breath as your eyes slowly drifted shut.  You could feel the softness of your mattress beneath you, the light plastic keyboard on your lap, and the sounds of rustling papers around you.  By the age of ten, simply listening to music did little good – you had to distract your mind as well as your ears, so you saved for months to buy a second hand keyboard and guitar... The guitar lasted two months before it was broken in a drunken rampage, but you had managed to hide the plastic piano under your bed...  
“Why did you stop playing?” Loki asked, snapping you out of your memory. 

You quickly turned to him with wide eyes.  
“Huh?” he glanced down to your unmoving hands and then back to his eyes.  “Oh... Right... Um...” how to explain it... “Just... remembering some... _stuff_...” you said uncertainly.  The back of his hand trailed over your cheek,  
“Are you tired?” he asked.  You quirked a brow and slightly shifted away from his touch,  
“No, not really.” A small smirk quirked at Loki’s lips,  
“Good...” he stood and walked around the small seat, making sure to snag your hand, before heading towards the stairs, “I would have been disappointed if I had to wait another night.” Suddenly your heart began to race.  ‘ _Wait another night’_? Was he... Did he... did he want sex?  You hadn’t forgiven him... but you had said you could work through it all... but... but you weren’t ready for sex! You blinked once and your mind took you back to _that_ night.  Your body pushed into the cool metal bars as Loki forced his way into you multiple times; the burning pain of your nether regions and, well... _everywhere_ , and the image of Thor distorting into the shape of The Teacher.  You bit down hard on your tongue, hoping it would keep you from throwing up...

You were so wrapped up in your own mind, that you didn’t even notice that Loki had led you up the stairs to the master bedroom.  You just managed to notice Loki pull away and close the door, but that didn’t stop you – in fact, you continued to walk until you ran into the corner of the bed, but you were too numb to feel the shooting pain in your shin and foot.   
“Dove...” he purred while slowly pulling on the skirt of your dress.  A choked sob left your throat, but you quickly covered your mouth, trying to take it back, but it was too late.  You saw Loki’s jaw clench tightly and he glared at you for a moment, making your breathing all but stop.  But then he did something you didn’t expect; he pulled back. “Undress...” he ordered softly.  You stopped the whimper in your throat and held back the tears as you pushed the straps from your arms and allowed the green dress to pool around your feet. 

Loki reached forward, but just before his hand made contact with your skin, he stopped and slowly moved his hand over the air around your body.  The raven haired man slowly stepped towards you while twirling his fingers in your hair.  
“Lay down on the bed.” He said.  You bit your lower lip, attempting to stop it from quivering.  Loki wrapped his arm around you and kissed the top of your head. “Sit on the bed if it would make you more comfortable...” he murmured before releasing you. 

You stumbled forward and you sat down on the edge of the bed.  Loki leaned down until your eyes were level,  
“Tell me to stop, and I will.” He said before slowly moving forward to press his lips to your own.  Your hands found his shoulders, wanting to stop him from moving too quickly.  His hands came to rest on either side of your hips, giving him the best and easiest position to slowly lower you down onto the bed.  At first you fought against his advance, but the straining muscles in your stomach began screaming, and you had no choice but to lay back.  It’s okay... the only part of his body that was touching you was his lips... you could manage.  Loki’s knee rested on the space of bed between your knees, and immediately your legs clamped shut.  It’s okay... It’s okay! Slowly his hand moved to your upper thigh, his thumb slowly working its way towards your womanhood.  No... No! You couldn’t continue – his touch brought back the pain, the memories...everything!    
“N-No, wait-,” you pushed Loki away and quickly scampered to the other side of the bed, your limbs and torso trembling. “I-I can’t... I can’t.” you stuttered over and over until you felt tears well in your eyes.   
“Dove...” Loki called softly. “I will not harm you...”  
“But you _did_.” You murmured softly.   
“I will not do it again...” he held out his hand, “come here...” You clenched your jaw tightly and eyed him cautiously.   
“You said if I wanted you to stop, you would...” you mumbled.  Loki supressed a sigh,  
“Trust me.” He reached a little further forward, “Once more, please... Try for me...” he almost seemed like he was pleading – no.  No, that couldn’t be right...  You gazed into his emerald green eyes for a long while before you slowly shuffling into the middle of the bed.  

He moved forward to kneel between your legs,  
“Look at me...” when you couldn’t manage a reply, he sharply tilted your head up.  “Tell me to stop, and I will.  Whether it is halfway through, or near the end, tell me to stop, and I will....”  You nodded,  
“Okay...” you squeaked softly.  Loki kissed from your forehead to the corner of your mouth.  
“Lay down...” he said while gently stroking your (h/c) hair.  A scared whimper left your lips. He cupped your cheek and quickly pecked your lips.  “Lay down...”  
“I-I...”  
“Trust me.” Slowly you reclined, harshly gnawing and picking at the skin of your lips with your teeth.

Loki separated your legs.  To stop your body from pulling away or legs lashing out, you clenched the sheets tightly.  
“Breathe...” he said while running his hands up your thighs.  His cool hands slowly made their way towards your exposed womanhood,  
“S-Stop!” you stuttered loudly.  Loki’s hands froze and he pulled away. Your eyes locked with his, and you took a calming breath before nodding. “Okay...” His fingers slowly trailed their way to your warm womanhood before he leaned forward and kissed down your thigh.  When his tongue flicked your clit your breath hitched and you held back your need to moan.  He did it again, only firmer than before, and your hips rolled forward abruptly. Hesitantly you reached down and tangled your fingers in his slicked back raven hair. That was when two of his fingers entered your slick folds.  A moan caught in your throat and your back arched as your hips rolled forward.  
“L-Loki...” you said breathlessly as your head fell backwards.  He pressed his fingers deeper into you,  
“Look at me...” he said quickly before returning to prodding and sucking on your clit.  Your (e/c) eyes moved back down to him.

When your eyes met, he entered a third finger into you before recommencing his fast and deep movement.  Your legs began to shake and you lost the ability to manage your breathing.    
“Loki!” you gasped aloud when his mouth returned to your sensitive clit. Your back arced as your hips began to roll forward in time with Loki’s fingers.  This was nothing like the last time with him... or the first... or any time in between.  Every other time, Loki had been desperate for his own release, he ignored any orgasm you had and just continued pounding into you; but this time he was solely focused on you. Your hips slowly began to pick up speed, and you breathlessly moaned Loki’s name as his fingers brushed against a particularly sensitive bundle of nerves within your womanhood. “Oh God-!” You gasped sharply and allowed a groan to rumble in your throat. He used his free hand to massage your thigh and rub circled into your skin.  How was he so damn good at this?! Only moments ago you were too terrified to let him touch you; and now you were a moaning, needy mess with his fingers inside of you and his mouth greedily sucking on your clit. 

With one last flick of his tongue and movement of his fingers sent you over the edge. You moaned his name loudly as your body shook and convulsed uncontrollably. As you tried to catch your breath, Loki pulled away and kissed you deeply, bringing with him the taste of your own juices.  You were slightly surprised... it didn’t taste bad... in fact it tasted pleasant – though that could have been because of Loki.  Slowly he broke the kiss and moved to lie down next to you, his hand rubbing his covered, yet completely hard manhood.  Suddenly nerves washed over you.  Did he want actual sex now? He had pleasured you whole-heartedly, and now was he expecting you to lie back and let him take you? His free hand moved to your chin, gently pulling your eyes away from his member.  
“You are still not yet comfortable, are you?” you opened your mouth to respond, but you couldn’t find the words, so you instead shook your head.  “Then I will not yet ask it of you...” His hand moved from your chin to your hand and he led it to his throbbing manhood. “Would you be able to cope with this?” his voice turned gruff as your fingers gingerly ran along his clothed length. You nodded and unzipped his pants before you firmly took hold of his hard member and began pumping.  He groaned as you tightened your hold on him, “I will only come when you tell me when too...” he huffed before pressing his lips to your own.  He wanted _you_ to tell him when to come? His tongue gingerly trailed your lower lip as his hand found the side of your neck and forced you deeper into the kiss.  You bit back your smirk.  Maybe this was going to be fun after all...

You added a second hand, and immediately Loki’s hips bucked forward.  
“Faster,” he mumbled before slipping his tongue into your mouth.  You rolled onto your side, allowing the tip to press into your lower abdomen, all while attempting to move your hands faster along his length.  Loki’s hand skimmed up your side and roughly took hold of your breast.  He teased and pinched your (colour) nipple, causing warmth to pool between your legs.  When he leaned forward to firmly suck on the skin of your neck, a moan escaped your throat.  Loki’s free hand tangled in your (h/c) hair before he pulled away, “Let me come.” He groaned, distress filling his tone. “(Name), Dove, _please_.”  
“Not yet...” you said.  Loki’s panting worsened as he rolled onto his back and clawed at the bed sheets.  
“(Name)... (Name)...” he tightly shut his eyes.  Suddenly you retracted your hand, and you watched as his manhood twitched and throbbed in wanton need.  You sat up and swung your leg over his lap so you were straddling him. 

You rubbed your still damp lower lips along the length of his manhood, but didn’t allow him to enter you.  You enjoyed the sight of his pleasure filled face and the sound of his raspy moans.  
“(Name), by the Gods, let me come.” You anxiously bit your lower lips and leaned down to press your chest to Loki’s.  You weren’t sure how well what you were about to say was going to go over... but you wanted to try.  
“Beg for it.” You said in a hushed tone as your hips added more pressure to his member. You could see the desperate need in his eyes.  
“Please, my Dove, I beg of you... Let me come...” he tangled his fingers in your hair and he pressed his lips to your own. “Ah- please, my love, my darling... let me come and I will give you anything you ask, I will give you _everything_ you ask!” You reached down and once again took his throbbing, heated member into your hand before you started pumping, harder than before,  
“(Name), plea-,”  
“C-Come for me...” Instantly Loki thrust forward, spraying his seed all over your stomach as he moaned your name. 

Loki collapsed into the bed, his breathing ragged.  In the moonlight you could just manage to see his heavy eyes locked on you.  You released his now soft member, ran your fingers over your stomach to collect some of his semen, before you slowly licked your fingers clean.  A low groan rumbled in Loki’s chest; he reached up and pulled you to lie atop him, the stirring warmth circling between the two of you was enough to fend off the cold air.

You both laid there for a minute as Loki tried to catch his breath.  
“What I said was true (Name)...” he ran his thumb across your lips, wiping away a missed smear of his seed, before offering it to you.  Slowly you parted your lips and ran your tongue along his thumb. “I will give you anything and _everything_ you ask of me...”  
“ _Fuck me_...” you said mindlessly.  Wait... What?  You had noticed the warmth pooling between your legs when you were pleasing Loki... but were you really ready to give yourself to him once more?  
“Do not tease me-,”  
“I’m not... Please...” your voice caught in your throat.  Apparently you were ready...  He let out a tired sigh and moved the hair from your eyes.  
“Not tonight...” Your mouth fell open.  Had Loki just refused sex?   
“Are you feeling okay?” you asked, Loki’s brows furrowed.  “You’re not sick or something? I’ve never seen you refuse sex before...” The raven haired man chuckled and leaned up to kiss your forehead,  
“I am spent.  I have never had to hold on so long before, and because of that, I fear I will not be able to pleasure you in the way you deserve... for the rest of the night at least...” he finished with a smirk.  You lowered your head onto his chest.

Laying a top Loki, completely bare and exposed was a new sensation... You knew that, if he wanted to, he could quite easily hurt or even kill you... You probably should have feared that idea more, but you didn’t... The constant yet slow beating of his heart and the warmth his body was offering was so incredibly soothing.  Loki drew you out of your mind when he ran his fingertips along your spine.   
“Tell me (Name)... Who was it...?”  
“Who was what?”  
“Who was the person who betrayed you?”  Not this again...  
“There have been lots of people who-,”  
“Stop dodging the question and just tell me.” He said sternly.  You bit your lower lip,  
“My Grandfather... My father... at times, even my mother...” you took a deep breath and slowly released it. “Take your pick...”  
“All of them... Tell me about all of them...” you glanced up to him for a moment.    
“Why?”  
“Because that was our deal.” You sighed softly and returned your head to his chest.  
“I never knew my dad... My mum raised me pretty much on her own, though that’s not to say she didn’t have help from some family members, or drunken and useless boyfriends... One night one of them even beat her; I came home the next day and found all the bloody towels and clothes...” You paused for a moment to shake your head. “We used to move around a lot... I remember at one stage I would switch daily between my divorced grandparent’s houses and my mums...” you said with an almost nostalgic smile. “When I was seven my mum fell into a depression that-,” you paused and thought it over for a moment, “that I’m pretty sure she still has actually... I know she stopped taking the pills when I was thirteen because all they did was make her numb; but I don’t think she ever really got over (Jessabelle or Isabelle)’s death...”  
“Who?” Loki asked with furrowed brows.  
“My second-cousin – or something along those lines... She was older than me, and used to come and stay with us when she couldn’t go home... Though, that’s not to say our house was much better.” You breathed in deeply and sighed.  “After she died – and my mum became a walking zombie, her boyfriend started taking advantage of it, and wasted all of her money on booze and meaningless shit with his fuck-faced friends.” You spat darkly.  “After she stopped taking her pills, we moved back in with my grandmother; and if time had stopped there, I could quite happily say I would have been content for the rest of my life.”  
“But it didn’t?” Loki asked.  You smiled sadly and shook your head,  
“Does life ever give _anyone_ a break?” you asked rhetorically. “No... After being back with my grandmother for half a year, my aunt told us she was pregnant, and as soon as she gave birth, we lost our place in the house so she and her twin sons could have proper rooms, and were shoved into the converted tin shed in the backyard.”  You paused for a moment, remembering the bitterly cold winter nights curled up in front of an electric heater on a freezing cement floor, and the disgustingly hot and sticky summer days that made it nearly impossible to breathe... “Eventually she distanced herself from everyone, and the next thing we knew, we were out on our asses because she sold the house from under us... We got on just fine without her for a while, but then a few years ago my grandmother died of cancer, and my mum blew up at my aunt and grandfather for not even bothering to call her... I somehow managed to get caught in the middle of it all, and it was made clear that my grandfather wanted no contact with me.  A little while later he got sick, and when I tried to see him, I was sent away by his new wife...” You shifted slightly, “Around that time I finished high school and moved closer to New York for university/college with a friend...” you trailed off.   
“That was what you dreamed of the other night...” Loki said to himself. 

Your eyes widened and your head snapped up,  
“How did you know that?” you sounded almost outraged, and to be honest, you had a right to be.   
“After the first time, I thought it would be easier to simply watch your dreams...” Loki stated.  You sighed irritably.  The feeling that your privacy had been violated was the only thing on your mind.  How could he do such a thing?!  How would he feel if you waltzed in and watched some of his most vulnerable memories?! “I did it to know how you were feeling... and to check you hadn’t done anything to harm yourself...”  
“Why would I harm my-,” you stopped.  You did kind of blow up at the beach... and instead of sitting around with Loki you escaped to your room...  He did have a cause for concern... but that didn’t make what he did any better! Your lips pursed, and you decided to continue your story.  “Then, one night I was walking home with a small group of friends, we had risked going to a convenience store to stock up on supplies; of course there were none left... On the way home, a Chitauri soldier caught us – and when I say ‘ _us’_ , I really mean ‘ _me’_ – and I was taken to Stark Tower...”  
“I see...” he said while wrapping his free arm around you.  “Dove, I will right all the wrongs I have done to you... You have my word.”  
“Can I actually trust your word?” You mumbled.  
“No... I have _tried_ to keep my word since aligning with the humans, I found they require a show of loyalty before they themselves are willing to trust someone... however I find it incredibly difficult sometimes.”  
“You kept your promise to The Teacher just fine.” You growled bitterly.  
“Would his death bring you happiness?  Because if it will, then I will gladly kill him.”  
“You would do that, even though it could mean your subordinates would trust you even less than they do now?” Loki chuckled softly,  
“You do not know the lengths I would go too to guarantee your faith and trust in me.” He said seriously.  How far would he go?  Talking about it was one thing, but when push comes to shove, what would he do; what would he be willing to sacrifice to protect you?  You closed your eyes and nuzzled into Loki’s chest.  
“He’s already gone... there’s no use in chasing someone who could already be dead...” you breathed in Loki’s scent, “I would settle for not seeing, hearing, or thinking about him for the rest of my life...”  
“Then I will make sure of that...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve had people tell me that all anti-depression med’s do is make you numb. Is this true? If it isn’t, then I may need to rethink the last little bit of the story.
> 
> Uuuuuuum.... I promise we will be checking in with Thor next chapter (though that doesn't mean Reader chan and Loki will be returning to Stark tower yet) And also, we're nearly at the end of the second story arc! I've guessed it to be around chapter 21 that the third arc will start :3 - Oh! and there will be a few more smexy scenes before then, including the scene in the shower I promised everyone ;D
> 
> Youtube playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUc9_SfXsMBJAM-Rc0cNeBkLpxrs62Dhe  
> That's right! I made a youtube playlist of all the songs! I'll probably add to it as I find new songs that fit, but for now there are around 25 songs. (Representing past, present and future chapters) I also made a playlist on 8Tracks, but the whole site was confusing, irritating, and the quality of some of the songs was really bad...  
> Anyone who can guess which character "Hurt" by Christina Aguilera represents gets a cookie - - it isn't as easy as you may think (I think... It could be super easy... I don't know... :P)
> 
> Comments please!! Throughout the whole process of this story, I've come to realise I am a comment addict (or comment whore, whichever you please). So, dear Reader-chans, FEED MY ADDICTION AND COMMENT PLEASE!!! :D  
> (I do my best to get through everyone's comments - and now that I know non-users get my replies /as long as an email is provided/, I will make it my mission to reply to everything in my inbox~!)
> 
> Also, I hope to update again by or before Wednesday. I feel really bad that I made everyone wait so long for this chapter... You're not mad... are you? Q-Q


	19. The Wolf and the Dove

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regarding my question at the end of the last chapter (which I want to thank so many people for answering) - - I've decided that the logic behind it shall be this: The dose of the anti-depressants was too high; but they had to be because a lower dosage did nothing to ease the pain. So it was a decision between feeling everything, and feeling nothing; the mother chose the latter. (Which I'm hoping makes sense... Does it...?)
> 
> Sorry if you’re allergic to nuts... but sex involving a spread like Nutella was just too perfect to pass up ;D
> 
> And this chapter is a little different to the rest... I'm not entirely sure about it, but... Um... yeah... here it is...(?)

 “Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 19

_***_  
Talking about it was one thing, but when push comes to shove, what would he do; what would he be willing to sacrifice to protect you?  You closed your eyes and nuzzled into Loki’s chest.  
“He’s already gone... there’s no use in chasing someone who could already be dead...” you breathed in Loki’s scent, “I would settle for not seeing, hearing, or thinking about him for the rest of my life...”  
“Then I will make sure of that...”  
***

*Loki’s POV*

The sun streamed in the window and directly into Loki’s eyes.  He groaned softly, covered his face with his arm and turned away from the intruding sunlight.  He definitely wasn’t a morning person; especially not when the night had been so wonderfully perfect.  His eyes cracked open slightly, knowing there was little chance of him returning to sleep... That was when he noticed it – not the unwanted warmth of the damn sunlight – but the missing pressure of (Name)’s body above him... He sleepily groaned and rolled over.  She wasn’t in the bed at all.  Immediately his eyes snapped open and he sat up. 

There was no sight of her... The shower in the ensuite wasn’t on – in fact the door was open and the room was completely empty – and she wasn’t on the balcony... He gritted his teeth.  Damn it! How could he have been such a fool?!  She had just used him; made him feel comfortable – _vulnerable_ even – and then she left.  He threw the sheets from his body, pulled pair of pants on, and quickly ran down the hallway.  

Completely forgetting his ability to teleport, Loki charged out of the elevator and through the lounge room on the main level, but stopped when he saw something out of the corner of his eye.   
“(N...Name)?” his emerald eyes focused on the (h/c) haired woman, standing in the kitchen, cooking; with his, _his_ , black silk shirt hanging from her (adj.) frame.  She turned, a small, nervous smile on her lips; but it quickly faded.  
“Is something wrong...?”

***Your POV***

“Is something wrong...?” your brows pulled together and you stepped away from the warmth of the stove.  Stress, worry and anger were colouring his features.  You took another step, “L-Loki.” The irate haze vanished from Loki’s eyes  
“What are you doing out here?” he growled.  
“I-I... uh...” you used the spatula in your hand to gesture to the pans, “p-pancakes...”  You stuttered as your chest constricted.  Shit... This was it.  This was his emotional one-eighty.  He was about to return to the cruel, harshness you were so afraid of.  Loki’s head tilted to the side slightly and he moved forward curiously.

You anxiously bit down on your lip as Loki examined the plate of fluffy pancakes, jug of batter, and the half cooked batter in the frypan.  
“I thought you were trying to run from me...”he murmured.   
“I – what?” again you gestured to the pans, not entirely understanding his erratic emotions.  “A-All this is, is Breakfast.  I got hungry and you were still asleep...” You tried to explain, but Loki still didn’t seem convinced with your motives...  
“You were going to eat without me?” He asked suspiciously.  
“I was going to cook them, and then bring them all up to eat them in bed...  The tiles down here make it too cold...” You pointed towards a large tray filled with various spreads and the other few toppings you could find, a small jug of orange juice and cutlery.  Loki’s harsh eyes met your own,  
“You were not trying to run?”  
“What? No-,” Quickly Loki stepped forward and seized your lips. His tongue gently traced your lower lip and he pulled your body tightly to his own.  Your initial reaction was to pull away, surprise taking over your instincts, but you promptly found peace and calm within the kiss; so much so that your hand moved to rest on Loki’s bare chest as the other settled on the crook of his neck.

A deep burning scent reached your nose, forcing you to pull away.  
“Damn,” You quickly stepped around Loki and flipped the now burned pancake over.  You threw the black pancake into the bin and poured some more batter onto the pan with a soft sigh.  You didn’t know why, but you couldn’t let yourself turn back around to Loki.  You could feel his intense gaze on your back, and you were almost certain that nothing would have changed if you turned around... but still you couldn’t manage it.  
“What is this?” Loki asked.  You turned the heat of the pan down before nervously spinning around to face him.   
“I-It’s called Nutella.  Hazelnut and chocolate spread.  I found it in the freezer; I think it should still be okay to eat...” With that, Loki sunk the tip of his finger into a jar of thick, brown spread before licking it clean.  He studied the unlabelled jar intently,  
“This is surprisingly delightful...” The inquisitive look on his face made you smile.  This felt so different... so foreign to what you were accustomed to, and even to how you were feeling only moments ago.  How could one night with Loki change everything so much...? You should have been _afraid_... _cautious_... but you weren’t... You weren’t afraid.  Loki turned to you, a small, mischievous smile on his face.  Suddenly the nerves returned to your stomach; what was he planning?

Loki placed the jar on the counter, but not before scooping some more of the spread onto his fingers; he then stepped forward and smeared it on your lips. Your brows furrowed,  
“What are you-,” You were cut off when Loki’s lips crashed against your own.  His tongue trailed along your lips, before slipping passed them to tease your own pink muscle.  The sweet, nutty taste of the chocolate spread mixed with Loki’s own taste was an amazing thing.  Your fingers tangled in his raven black hair, and opened your mouth more – giving him easier access.   All too quickly Loki pulled away, but quickly returned – though, not in the exact manner you had expected.  He smeared more of the chocolate on your lips, neck and chest.  He let it sit on your body for a moment before he licked and sucked your skin clean.  A needy moan built in your throat and you could feel your legs turning to jelly.

Swiftly Loki lifted you onto the counter, knocking the jars over in the process, and settled himself between your legs.  
“Do you still want me?” he asked while running his hand up your thigh. Your mouth fell open slightly.  
“I-...” You looked into Loki’s eyes for a long minute. “Yes...” you breathed softly.

Without another word, Loki ripped the shirt from your body, allowing his hands unrestricted access to every inch of your body.  Of course he wasn’t interested in every single part of your body; his main focus was on the dampening warmth between your legs, and it didn’t bother you in the slightest.  You felt unnaturally empty, and almost craved his presence within you.   Loki apparently sensed your waning patience, because the next thing you knew, he separated your legs, unzipped his pants, and entered you – no preparation, no warning, he just pushed passed your lower lips and began thrusting away mercilessly. For a moment, your mind took you back to that night in the cells, but when his thrusts slowed to a loving pace, and his lips met your own in a gentle kiss, you were brought back to the present – to _your_ Loki.

After shedding the thoughts of the night in the cells, your body started to go numb – excluding the overwhelming pleasure coming from Loki’s member – and slowly you felt yourself reclining onto the cold countertop.  Loki leaned forward to nuzzle into the crook of your neck, which also allowed him to force himself deeper into your womanhood.  A sharp gasp left your throat and your legs hooked around his frantically moving waist.  
“Oh God... Please... Please...”  
“What?” Loki groaned,  
“Please don’t stop. Please don’t stop!” Loki’s hips slowed for a moment so he could take in your breathless, needy state; it took only a moment and he had picked the speed, tenfold. 

Your head rolled back and your hand fell against the countertop to stop yourself from falling back.  In doing so, you lent in a growing puddle of runny Nutella.  Usually you would have sighed out of irritation, but this was a different situation, and without hesitation you reached up and smeared it on Loki’s chest before licking and sucking on his skin.  You guessed he missed the easy access to your lips because Loki seized your hand and began sucking your fingers clean.  You were certain that you both would end up with red marks scattered across your bodies by the end of the day; usually you would have seen that as humiliating... but in this situation, with this man, you didn’t.   

Loki’s chest wasn’t completely clean when you pulled back, but you were certain that if you tried to take in anymore of the sticky chocolate spread, you would be sick – mainly due to the constant rocking motion.  The raven haired man chuckled and leaned down to kiss you, making sure his chest pressed against your own.  You pulled away slightly, in need of air - - but just as the warm air hit your lungs, you felt your end nearing.  You harshly bit your lower lip, but that didn’t stop your orgasm from forcing the moan from your throat. Your entire body convulsed and constricted, which forced Loki over the ledge as well, and he released deep within you.

You both laid there for several minutes, dazed and in a veil of remaining pleasure.  In the distance you could hear the pancake sizzling and smell it burning... but you didn’t care.  You didn’t want to move, and even if you wanted too, you were certain Loki wouldn’t allow you too. 

A surprised squeal left your lips as Loki scooped you into his arms.  
“W-What are you doing?” you asked while tightly wrapping your arms and legs around him for support.   
“I think a shower is in need, don’t you agree?” Loki smiled wide as he began walking.  
“What about breakfast?”  The raven haired man licked a missed smear of Nutella from your neck,  
“We’ll make it lunch.”

***Thor’s POV***

It was little before lunch time.  Thor’s morning meal had come and gone hours ago, and he was expecting the same girl to walk in with another tray any minute; only when he heard the door open and he looked up, it definitely wasn’t who he was expecting.   
“If you have any sort of mind, you will turn around and leave before you say a single word.” Thor snapped darkly.  
“Just listen to me-,”  
“No!” The blond barked, cutting Johnathan off midsentence.  “You betrayed us, you betrayed _her_!”   
“I did not give Loki her name.” Johnathan insisted as he stepped up to Thor’s cell.   
“I do not believe you.” The Asgardian snarled as he threw a small porcelain cup at the metal bars. It shattered instantly, and a few of the stray shards flew at – and left cuts across – Johnathan’s cheek.

The young man winced and clenched his lightly bleeding cheek,  
“I told him _someone_ was slipping you medical supplies, not (Name).  Thor, you have to believe me, I never once told him it was her!”  
“I don’t ‘have’ to do anything.  Least of all trust you.”  
“Thor, I told her to stay away from here for her own safety, but she did not listen!”  
“Get. Out.” Thor growled.  
“Thor, please listen to me!”  
“You have no idea what he did to her... What he made me do to her...” his voice was eerily calm; it had to be... If he let his emotions get the best of him while speaking of it, he would probably kill Johnathan. “Just get out.” He said, turning away from the sandy blond.

Johnathan sighed softly and turned towards the exit, but just before he passed the threshold, he stopped and turned back to the God of Thunder.   
“The power source for the tower is running dangerously low. Loki in his own vanity has taken (Name) to another place for a short time, and is syphoning even more energy from the Arc Reactor. In two days I will _'accidentally'_ divert the last of the power and use the last of it. During the chaos you will be able to break free.  Thor didn’t speak straight away, instead needing time to take everything in.  
“Where did he take her?”  
“I don’t know; _no one_ knows... He just ordered a plane to be filled with fuel and a pilot – he worked out all the other details once he was aboard...”  Thor clenched his jaw.  
“When will they return?” he asked almost desperately.  
“I don't know.” The God of Thunder sighed irritably.  
“Then you wait for her to come back before you instigate your plan.”  
“It would be better to do it while Loki is away.” Johnathan insisted, but Thor shook his head.  
“I will not leave here without her.” He stated.  Johnathan bit his lower lip and ran a nervous hand through his hair.  
“It will be more dangerous if Loki is here...”  
“I will not abandon her.”  
“Fine...  I will wait for her to return...” Johnathan said before turning to leave.  
“Johnathan.” Thor called, making the young man stop.  
“Yes?” The Asgardian Prince eyed the man before him.  
“I do not trust you.  I will not trust you, not until I know (Name) is safely away from here.  If anything goes wrong during this scheme – if she is harmed in anyway – I will hold you accountable for it.” Johnathan had to tear his gaze away from Thor’s,  
“I will keep that in mind...” he mumbled before leaving.

Thor sat down on his dirt – and probably insect – infested bed.  He didn’t notice when the young maid girl brought his lunch, nor did he notice when she came back to take it away.  He was too busy wondering, thinking, and attempting to plan what would happen when the power went out; which would be easier if he had all the minute details... but for now, he would have to settle for the few detail he did know.  (Name) was somewhere alone with Loki – never a good sign.  When she returned Johnathan would, _supposedly_ , help him to escape.  When that happened, Thor would grab (Name) and take as far away from Loki as he could get her... _Hopefully_...

***Your POV***

Loki’s hands were surprisingly cold in comparison to the steaming hot water, but you didn’t seem to mind it in the slightest – a sharp gasp caught in your throat and your back arched away from his touch – except maybe when he trailed his fingertips down your sides.  It was pleasant, but the tingling that ran through your body made you jerk uncontrollably. Loki chuckled and kissed down your shoulder, ignoring the water cascading down your (colour) skin.  His hands began to roam over your body,  
“You’re supposed to feel clean when you leave a shower, not dirtier...” you gasped loudly.  Loki chuckled,  
“Not when you shower with me.” His husky voice lingered in your mind, long after he finished speaking. “However, if it would ease your mind a little, I will make sure you are clean...”

Loki reached towards the dripping wet soaps.  He opted for the bar of soap instead of the liquid bottle and used one hand to rub the soap over your damp body as the other used a loofah to gingerly scrub your skin.  He pulled you closer to his body; that was when you felt his hard manhood press into your back. A low groan built in his chest when you reached back to gently take hold of it.  
“Keep your hand there and I will not be able to stop myself.” You bit your lip,  
“I-I didn’t say I wanted you to stop... not this time...” Loki quickly returned the soap and loofah to the shelf as you released his semi-erect manhood, bent forward and raised onto the balls of your feet.  You were hoping your entrance would be high enough for Loki - - and apparently it was, because the next thing you knew, he grabbed your hips and pushed deep into you. 

A loud moan left your throat, and you were pressed tightly against the tiles of the shower as Loki began thrusting deep into you.  There were moments when you had issues breathing, either from your wet hair falling in your mouth, or the water itself, but none of it stopped your moans, nor did it quell you sudden need for him.

Suddenly Loki pulled out, and you turned to protest, but before you could, Loki turned you around, lifted you up, and impaled you onto his throbbing manhood once more. Without a second thought your legs wrapped around Loki’s waist, pulling his entire body closer to your own and hooked your arms around his neck.  The raven haired man took a jagged step towards the nearest wall and pressed you tightly against it before resuming his thrusts.

Being pinned between the cold tiles and Loki’s damp and toned body with the shower pouring down on you was refreshingly foreign.  One of Loki’s hands moved from your hips to your breasts.  Your breath hitched as he began roughly kneading and squeezing your bare, and strangely sensitive breasts.  Your nails sunk into Loki’s skin as you tried to supress what you thought to be screaming moans.  However, when Loki’s lips found your own, you lost the ability to control any part of yourself, and you could feel your end approaching with incredible speed.

You weren’t ready to finish yet, but you could neither slow your orgasm, nor could you tell Loki to slow his movements.  As much as you didn’t want the experience to end, you knew it had to.  Just as you resigned yourself to the idea of finishing, you gasped loudly and straightened your back against the tiles as the rope in your stomach snapped, and you were sent over the edge for the second time that day.  Loki’s fingers dug into your hips as he released within your constricting womanhood.  The thick air of the shower made it hard to breath, and it felt like your head was spinning as your body came down from the sexual high...

Several minutes later, you stumbled out of the bathroom and collapsed onto the bed, your legs too weak to carry you any further.  You barely managed to slip on the dress that had been left out for you before you felt the need to lie back down again.  It wasn’t even lunch time and you wanted to go back to bed...

Loki came out of the steam filled room a few moments later, a towel around his neck and only pants on.  Your eyes scanned his still damp figure for a minute, enjoying the site more – and for longer – than you probably should have.  You stared for so long and intently that you didn’t even notice when Loki began staring at you, but when he spoke you _certainly_ took notice.    
“Enjoying the view?” he raised his arms, giving you full view of his body, with a sly smirk.  You chuckled nervously and lowered your gaze; shame filling your mind for actually getting caught.  “There is a room downstairs I think you would enjoy immensely.” You looked back up just as Loki outstretched his hand, “Come with me?” You sluggishly slid off the bed and nodded,  
“Okay.”

***

Loki took you to the lowest level of the house. You were slightly more than surprised with what you saw... The entire floor was filled with science equipment, technology and other unknown scraps of metal and taken apart pieces of... _something_.  You quickly glanced over the half-finished ironman suits, and various weapons sprawled across a large table before Loki led you into a semi-hidden room towards the back of the floor. 

The entrance was hidden behind a large whiteboard on wheels, and was barely big enough for you to fit through; but once you were through, you were pleasantly surprised.  The walls of the room were filled with books – _literally_ – the walls themselves were _bookshelves_.  In the middle of the small stood a few old fashioned leather chairs with lamps and small round tables beside them.  There was a skylight above one of the bookshelves, allowing a little natural light into the otherwise dark and stuffy room.  Your (e/c) eyes lingered on the skylight for a moment.  Outside... You took a deep breath and could almost smell the ocean.  
“We’re not going outside today...?” you asked.  
“Did you want to go outside?” You glanced through the small doorway to the beach below the house.  What was the likelihood it would still actually be there...? ‘ _Do you **actually** care? Or is this just another way to torment me?!_ ’  Your own voice echoed in your mind, and a deep throbbing pang of guilt hit your chest.  “(Name)?”  Quickly you turned back to Loki.  
“Do you know what happened to the pearl necklace...?” you asked slowly.   A calming smile spread across Loki’s lips and he reached into his pocket to pull the necklace free from its confines. 

You reached forward and gently trailed your fingertips over the cool gemstones.  Loki placed the necklace in your hand and you gingerly toyed with the pearls between your fingers before you quickly stepped forward and wrapped your arms around Loki’s chest.   
“I didn’t think you would keep it...” you mumbled.  
“I knew you would probably come to regret that decision...  So I thought it would be smart to safe guard it until you yourself came to that realisation...”  
“How could you know that, when I didn’t?” you asked.   
“I suppose I was _hoping_ it, more than actually _knowing_ it...” he admitted slowly.  Something in his voice made you think he was ashamed of such a thing... but... why would he be ashamed?  It’s only natural to hope for things, regardless if you’re human or not.  You smiled and rested your head on Loki’s chest.    
“Would you hate it if I said that was very human of you?”  
“Yes...” he said almost too quickly. You sighed.  
“Then it was very nice, sweet, and human of you.” You said while looking up.  You could clearly see irritation in Loki’s eyes, but the addition of the smirk on his lips told you that you weren’t in trouble... not too much at least.

Loki released you and turned to the small library of books.  
“Pick one,” he said before moving to take a seat on one of the lounges.  You followed behind him while scanning the room.  There seemed to only be non-fiction books, science based, car based... you were sure you even saw a few playboys stashed between two of the encyclopaedias.  A soft sigh passed your lips before a set of two small – yet thick – books caught your eye.  You walked over to the shelf and picked up, what felt like, the only fiction books in the entire room.

You walked back over to Loki, who pulled you onto his lap before you could take the seat next to him.  
“I’ve not gone through the entire library... What did you pick?”  
“Um... The Flame and the Flower; or... The Wolf and the Dove.” Loki quirked a brow and took the book from your hands.  
“Romance novels? Certainly not what I expected from Stark...” he said to himself.  
“I think all of those-,” you pointed to the numerous science books, car magazines and other books you didn’t quite recognise, “would be his... If I remember right, he had a girlfriend... These are probably hers.” The slightly sceptical look on Loki’s face made you sigh and roll your eyes.  “Would you prefer to read a science text book?” you asked.   
“That would depend.” Loki suppressed a sigh wrapped his arms around your midsection. “Read on...” he said with a small smirk.

***

It took only a few hours to finish the book.  You read around eighty percent of it, but on more than one occasion Loki had to take over, not because you couldn’t read the words, but because the words made you remember the pain of the night with Loki in the cells... You found yourself fidgeting and uneasy during those scenes, but Loki’s tight hold on your hand and the comfort of his arms around you made the feelings subside.   You had a small break after finally finishing for dinner and – though those certain situations made you feel anxious, you didn’t stop you wanting to read the second book by the same author.  Of course that had to wait until you finished eating – and you did actually get to eat that time, instead of being set upon by Loki’s food driven kinks...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why... but this chapter looks so much shorter than it actually is... it's 4,000 words, but to me looks really short... :/
> 
> ‘Wolf and the Dove’ and ‘The Flame and the Flower’ are both by Kathleen Woodiwiss. I’ve not read them myself (having Just stumbled across them while googling some books that would work as a reference), but there are themes in both books that relate to this story (that’s what the online plot notes tell me anyway). 
> 
> Like I said, this was a little different to the rest, a little more fluffy and... well... I'm not entirely sure about it... Loki will have moments in future chapters when he does snap at reader-chan, but, not in the same dark way as before. So... does this sound okay? I know that not everyone likes the sweet fluffy-ness of these chapters, but it's how I've planned the story to go. (Also, Loki and reader-chan are kind of in the 'honey-moon' stage, so he's letting her get away with things he wouldn't usually, just incase you were worried Loki was a little too OOC - I know I was.)
> 
> So, please let me know what you think!!!


	20. Reluctant Returns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've added some (19 or-so) new songs to the playlist on Youtube~ Check them out if you like!  
> (One of the songs that resonate with a scene in this chapter is "Not about angels" by Birdy~ and (kind of) "Chasing Cars" by Coldplay)  
> \- I swear, I will stop adding to it... Unless someone comes up with a song that fits, in which case, just comment and let me know~!

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 20

_***_  
_You had a small break after finally finishing for dinner and – though those certain situations made you feel anxious, you didn’t stop you wanting to read the second book by the same author.  Of course that had to wait until you finished eating – and you did actually get to eat that time, instead of being set upon by Loki’s food driven kinks..._  
***

You spent just under a week at the beach house.  In the morning you would usually wake to Loki either cooking breakfast, or teasing your body until you woke up to the sounds of your own sleepy moans - - and this morning was no different.   You heard Loki stir around dawn, and slip out of bed, but you didn’t get up; you were too tired and sore to gather enough strength to even open your eyes.  A while later Loki returned to your side and wrapped his arms around you before gently kissing down your cheek.  You groaned softly and shifted in his arms,  
“Wake up (Name).”  
“Not yet...” you mumbled and pulled the covers over your head slowly.  
“It’s passed lunchtime.” He said.  
“We were up until four this morning thanks to you...” You mumbled into the pillow.  Loki sighed and removed himself from the bed.  
“Come down stairs when you’re ready.” He said with a nonchalant wave of his hand.

Just after Loki passed through the doorway, you sat up and yawned long and deep, before you rubbed your eyes and swung your legs over the edge of the bed.  You heard Loki’s footsteps disappearing down the hall, but you didn’t feel a need to hurry your movements, was it because you were too tired? Most likely. Or were you slowly coming to relax around him? You ran a hand through your hair to remove it from your eyes and stepped out of the room.  No... _Maybe_...? You shook your head and made your way through the bedroom. 

Without thinking, your hand ran over your sensitive, hickey covered neck.  Loki had been slowly increasing the amount of sexual contact he had with you.  You were sure he thought you hadn’t noticed, but you had.  It wasn’t like you didn’t enjoy it – you enjoyed it thoroughly – but a small nagging voice in the back of your mind had become louder over the past few days, and you couldn’t quite make out what it was saying.  It irked you to no end.  Your hand slipped to the small, healed gash in your arm. ‘ _but as a gift... I will give you the chance to carry my child_...’ You bit your lower lip. Was that what the little voice was warning you about? Over the week there had been instances that reminded you of that night; but it had never been so clear in your mind before.  Is that what he still wanted?  You walking slowed.  No.  No, he had changed... He wasn’t like that anymore.  You took a deep breath and picked up your pace once more, uncertainty still lingered in your mind.  You had to ask him...  You had to ask him what was going to happen, what he wanted to happen... You couldn’t get pregnant... not like this, not _now_...

Your mind was so preoccupied trying to straighten out your emotions that you didn’t notice the sharp corner of the wall, and walked straight into it.  
“Damn it!” you cursed while stumbling backwards and quickly pressing your hands to your bleeding forehead.  You were aware of the low railing separating you from a small but dangerous fall; so you tried to stay as close to the solid wall as you could - - but your warping vision and dizziness made it difficult. Before you knew it, Loki had returned to your side and was working on steadying your swaying body.  
“Easy...” his tone was smooth and soothing.  You grabbed his shoulder as your legs trembled and threatened to give out from under you. “Sit down...” he said while guiding you to sit down on the top step. The pain in your head was only made worse when Loki pulled your hand away, and the constant rushing of the water feature to your right certainly wasn’t helping.   You winced as Loki gently prodded the bleeding wound. “How did you manage to run directly into the wall?” he asked with an amused tone; however the throbbing pain stopped you from finding the funny side in it all.  
“It wasn’t like I was trying to...” you stated dully. “I was just thinking...”  
“About?”   
“About...” Ask him.... Ask him! “About how things have changed...  It’s just a little strange thinking back...  I-I’m finally _comfortable_...” you lost your nerve at the last minute and changed your mind.   However Loki still seemed to react badly to it.  You bit the inside of your lip when you felt his hands freeze and you could feel and partially see his eyes trailing over you, which made you lower your still hazy gaze.   
“Then don’t think back... Don’t dwell on the past.” he stated simply.  “This may hurt...” he said before you could reply.  Your brows furrowed,  
“Wha- ah!” you winced and tried to pull away, but Loki held you still.  The pain in your head increased tenfold.  It felt like a searing hot needle was passing through your skull, but instead of burning the area around it, your skin felt like it was freezing.  You tightly closed your eyes and held your breath; that was when the pain began to subside.

Slowly your eyes began to open, and you were immediately met with a pale glowing emitting from Loki’s hand.   
“What are you doing...?”  
“Healing you.”  
“You can heal people?” You asked while examining his glowing hand.  
“Yes.  I did the same when I retrieved you from the prison cell...”  
“You healed me?” you were in a semi-state of shock.  You had only known you had woken up with bandages; you had never thought that he would have healed you himself.  
“Yes, I did around eighty percent of the work.” Your brows furrowed,  
“Eighty percent?” Loki glanced into your eyes for a moment before refocusing on the small gash in your head,  
“Maybe it was more like fifty-fifty...” he mumbled under his breath.  
“How could you heal someone fifty percent?” you asked with a sceptical tone.  
“Well; I physically closed all the wounds, but the doctor ensured you had no infections and-,” Loki stopped abruptly.  Your heart began to race,  
“And, what?” your voice was a soft whisper, and you could barely hear it, let alone Loki.

***Loki’s POV***

Loki’s mind was filled with nothing but curses.  How long would the birth control he gave her last? What if it had already worn off? What if it hadn’t worked in the first place? Shit! How could he let something such as that lapse in his mind?!  
“Loki...?” she asked cautiously.  
“-and dressed your wounds.” He finished quickly before removing his hands from her forehead.   
“Is something wrong?” she asked.  
“No.” he stated harsher than he intended. The uncertainty that shone in her (e/c) eyes made Loki’s cold heart ache in a way he had not felt for what seemed like years.   
“Nothing else...?” she cautiously asked.  
“No.” The godly-man reached forward and pulled her to her feet before engulfing her in a robotic embrace. “It’s nothing...” his hand slipped down to her side, giving his thumb a chance to run over her abdomen.  He couldn’t sense anything... He closed his eyes and breathed in his scent.  But she was human; her DNA was vastly different to his own and even the Aesir.  Maybe it was too early to tell... Or maybe he was mistaken... Yes; that was it.  He was mistaken.

***Your POV***

It wasn’t that you didn’t enjoy the embrace, but Loki’s tense muscles and tightening grip made you uncomfortable and sore,  
“L-Loki...” your voice was partially muffled by his chest and shirt, but that one word was enough to make him release you.  
“Forgive me.” He used his hand to lift your chin, “Your warmth is addictive.” He said with a smirk before he leaned forward to press his lips to your own.   Loki pulled away slightly and looked towards the window. “It’s warm outside, would you care to walk for a while?” the sudden change in topic made you a little suspicious, but you had learnt not to question what was on his busy mind.  
“Yes.” You stated quickly.  Loki chuckled and began leading you towards the front door.

***

Loki took you along the top of the cliffs outside of the grounds of the beach house.  It was different to any place you had seen since the Chitauri soldier took you all those months ago.  The large ledges were filled with golden yellow and bright purple flowers atop thin, waist high stalks. The wind was warm and fresh, and blew up the edges of your ankle length dress; and the sun was warm and welcome on your skin.   
“We will return to the tower tomorrow...” Loki said as he followed along your trail.   
“Do we have to?” you asked while gently plucking a flower from the swaying grass.  
“Would you prefer to stay here?”  He asked while gently wrapping his arms around your waist.  
“Yes...” you said with a small sigh.  “Can we?” you asked while turning to face him. “Can’t we just stay here?” Loki shook his head with a small smile,  
“My dear, I have a world to rule.  I cannot do that from here.”  
“Then screw the world.” You snapped.  
“(Name), I have fought to maintain my hold on this pitiful planet, I will not let it slip through my fingers.” He stated, determination burning in his emerald eyes.  ‘ _I will give you anything and everything you ask of me..._ ’ Now you knew what he meant to say;  
“I will give you anything and everything you ask of me; as long as it doesn’t interfere with my plans for world domination...” you mumbled.  
“Excuse me?” he asked, not entirely sure what you had said.   
“If I asked you to stay here with me; if I asked you to forget about ruling Earth and hide away with me... would you?” Loki glanced at you for a long, silent moment.  
“Are you asking me to-,”  
“Sir!” Loki was cut off by the call of an approaching guard.  The raven haired man sighed irritably and ran a hand through his hair.  
“I would do what I could to make you happy – as long as you knew how your request would affect me.” The guard finally reached the two of you, but Loki held a hand up to silence him before he had a chance to speak.   
“How would it affect you?”  
“It would render everything I have had to sacrifice thus far useless.  Everything I have suffered through would be for nothing; and (Name), I have given up far more than you know.”  You completely ignored the urgency in the guard’s eyes and pushed further.  
“What have you given up Loki?  From where I’m standing, you’ve only _taken_.” you asked while stepping forward.  Loki gingerly stroked your cheek with his thumb, though you could tell he wanted to hit you; the tense muscles in his hands were a dead giveaway.  
“The being that sent me here controls a vast power thanks to the events in New York, I gave him my utter loyalty, my mind, my conscious, my compassion... my _sanity_... and in return, he helped to win me the Earth.” he answered slowly.  “Tell me (Name), knowing this, will you still ask me to give it all up?” You lowered your gaze,  
“I’ll return to the house so you two can speak in private.” You murmured while glancing at the anxious guard and trying to leave, but before you could take more than a step, Loki snagged your arm.  
“Answer me...” your eyes met with Loki’s desperate ones. “Would you have me give everything away?” you took a steadying breath and shook your head.  
“No... But a better question is: Would you be willing to give up the Earth for me?  Do you love me enough to walk away from all of this?” you shakily asked.  Loki looked absolutely stunned. “There will be a time when you will have to make a choice... When that time comes, will I be the one you give up?” you asked before returning to the house.  You could feel Loki’s eyes on your back as you walked.  You tried to ignore the twisted feeling in your stomach, but with every step you took, it only worsened.  You should have stayed to hear what he would say...

***

When you re-entered the house, you quickly moved to the master bedroom, and buried yourself in the warm, cosy blankets.  Loki’s scent lingered on them, and made you feel more comfortable than you probably should have given the circumstances.  You wanted to be angry, but you were too tired to have any type of emotion... How could it be, that in a conversation that involved him releasing the Earth, _you_ felt like the bad guy? You closed your eyes and dug deeper into the blankets.  There were still so many things you wanted to know...  Would he give up the Earth? Was there something he wasn’t telling you in regards to the doctor?  Why hadn’t he told you before now that he had healed you?  Why weren’t you enough to state his appetite? Why did he have to have the Earth if you were with him?!  You sighed. ‘ _Do you love me enough to walk away from all of this?_ ’ Your own voice echoed in your mind.   
“He’s never actually _said_ he loves me...” his actions may have made it feel that way... but he’s never actually said it... “ _Does_ he love me?” you asked yourself.

You weren’t sure how long Loki took to return, but when he did you knew instantly that he was _pissed_.  Doors slammed and his footsteps were fast and heavy. When the door to the master bedroom opened, you shot up.  Loki looked far more relaxed than you had thought he would.  
“What’s wrong?” you asked cautiously.  Loki pursed his lips,  
“There has been an incident between the Chitauri and some members of HYDRA...” he muttered softly – though it seemed more like he was talking to himself rather than answering your question.  He quickly turned, “Dove, we will be leaving, _immediately_.” You rubbed your heavy eyes,  
“But... bed... Can’t we just go back tomorrow, like you’d planned?” you said, cuddling the blankets closer. 

Loki sat on the bed next to you,  
“Are you not feeling well?” he asked while slowly rubbing your shoulder through the thick blankets.  
“I’m just tired...”  
“You only woke up a short time ago.”  
“I know.” the otherworldly man pried the blankets away from your body and kissed your neck.  
“You can sleep on the plane.  We have to go.” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders.  
“Please... just one more night.”  
“No.”  
“But-,” Loki’s irritable sigh cut you off before he lifted you – and the blankets – onto his shoulder and began walking. “L-Loki! Put me down!” you tried to fight against his tight hold. “Your shoulder is bony! Put me down.” You said with a wince.  However, he didn’t take any notice of your pain. Suddenly a fine mist of green sparkles surrounded your body, and as Loki continued to walk, your surroundings changed, and you could smell petrol and hear the loud whirring of a plane’s engine.

You looked over your shoulder, and you were indeed back at the private jet.  You looked back in the direction you had come from just as the last remnants of the beach house disappeared behind a warping doorway of green mist, which then faded out as well.  The feeling of being caged churned in your stomach.  The beach house already felt so far away...  You knew that once you returned to The Tower, everything would return to how it was before.  Loki would have to distance himself... He would become cold, calloused...

Loki placed you down on the ground, but through your watery eyes, you couldn’t see his face.  
“(Name)-,”  
“I don’t want to go back...” You said while lowering your gaze.  
“Look at me.” His voice was soft.  “(Name),” he placed his hand on your shoulder, “Look. At. Me.” Slowly you looked up, nausea raising with every inch your eyes moved.  When you finally met his gaze, you pulled the blankets closer, needing to feel some sort of comfort and security. “Two months, and we will come back for another few days.” A warm tingle ran through your body.  
“What?”  
“We can’t stay... but we will come back.” A small, hopeful smile pulled at your lips,  
“Really?”  
“Yes.”  After a quick embrace, Loki pushed you along to enter the awaiting plane.  He followed behind you as you climbed the few steps up to the cabin. 

The first thing you did was collapse into the softness of the familiar couch.  The raven haired man chuckled and walked beside you.   
“Move over.” he said.  You hummed for a moment,  
“Make me...” you replied with a small smirk. Quickly he pinned you to the couch and lowered himself over you.  
“I will make you do more than just move...” your muscles tensed as the vision of Loki slowly warped and faded into darkness.

***Flashback***

**Loki lifted your legs around his waist before he entered you harshly, a low groan leaving his throat as he did.  
“Hah-,” he huffed as he rocked his hips forward. “You’re still wet...” He reached through the bars to tangle his hand in your hair before picking up the pace of his thrusts.  A cross between a moan and a sob left your throat.  You hated yourself for it, but after having him force his way into your arse, the feel of his member in your wet folds was not only a welcome relief but filled your body with a morphine-like euphoria that stopped the once dominant pain. **

**Loki’s other hand found your hip, and he sunk his nails into your skin, trying to hold them in place as he continued his assault on your nether regions.  You gnawed your lower lip harshly, trying to supress the soft moans that formed in your throat.**  
**“Say my name.” Loki barked into your ear before his lips and tongue found your neck.**  
**“L-Loki...” you half gasped half sobbed.**  
**“Louder!” he groaned.  You could tell he was nearing his end, the ragged breathing and quickened pace enough to give that away.**  
**“Loki!”**

***End flashback***

“(Name)...?” you heard him ask, but you just couldn’t find your voice, or your mind.   His hand moved to your shoulder, but the unexpected touch made you jump and pull away slightly,  
“P-Please, no...”  
“(Name).” his fingers tangled in your hair and he pulled you to his chest. “I was not going to harm you...” Tears forced their way out of your eyes even though you tried time and time again to stop them.  Your hands covered your eyes, and you felt your lip trembling.   
“The memories won’t go away... Just the thought of going back to the tower brings them back.” Your voice was incredibly shaky, and you could barely breathe.  Loki reached down and pulled the blanket over your body before lying down beside you.   
“You said you were starting to feel more comfortable around Me.”  
“I do...” you whimpered.  
“Then why do you still linger on the past?” he asked through gritted teeth.  
“I don’t know...” your voice was barely above a whisper.  
“Just sleep.  I will make sure your mind remains peaceful.” Loki pulled your head onto his chest and smoothed down your hair.  You fiddled with the buttons of his shirt, trying to ignore the fact your eyes were still filled with tears.

***

You were amazed how quickly you fell asleep; and it was just as Loki said.  Your dreams were peaceful.  However, you weren’t really dreaming of anything in particular.  Colours, emotions, temperature, and smells; it was a little piece of everything, but your mind wouldn’t linger long enough to make a memory.

“-(ame)... _Dove_.” You breathed in sharply as your eyes opened.  The first thing you noticed was that you weren’t on the plane anymore...  You were sitting upright in a car, with Loki beside you.  You sluggishly looked out the window.  Stark Tower was looming above you; the sky was deathly dark – no stars were visible at all – and the muggy, hot scent of the city reached your nose.  Loki swiftly led you from the car, and walked towards the entrance of the tower.  You took a deep breath.  
“Two months... Two months...” you mumbled as you passed through the doorway.  You knew you would probably count down the days as time slowly passed.  You had to; it would be one of the few things you could hold onto while living at the tower.

Two guards opened the doors for you and Loki, allowing you both to enter.  The hallways seemed too empty... too quiet... too peaceful... The hollow feeling in your stomach didn’t sit well with you at all.  Something bad was going to happen... you knew it.  You took a step closer to Loki as he made his way through the hallway.  In one of the many rooms was a small group of guard’s playing cards.  You felt a little better... Maybe you were mistaken - - suddenly the lights went out, and the hallway was filled with darkness.  You cursed the universe for lulling you into that false sense of security.  A soldier of some description came out of one of the doors and knocked into you, sending you into Loki’s side. He caught you with ease and pulled you close to his chest.  The sound of smashing walls and people’s yells came from the floors above,  
“What in the name of Helheim is going on?!” Loki growled while pulling you deeper into the darkness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Sorry if there was any grammatical errors!!! OAO)
> 
> I promise things will start to happen next chapter!!!! Chapter 19, 20 and 21 will be like the Bucky chapter - meaning the end of the second arc of the story - but I broke them up to make it easier on people to read, and easier on me to gauge your responses~! 
> 
> Tell me what you think will happen!!! Will Johnathan and Thor's plan work? Did Johnathan tell the truth, or did he set Thor up? If their plan does work, how will Reader-chan react? Will Loki fight for her? WHAT WILL HAPPEN??? (These are just some theories, some may be right, some may be wrong. Come up with your own and tell me what you think!)
> 
> Oh! And I've decided that at the end of this story (chapter 40-something) You'll all get 3 super-special-awesome bonus things.  
> 1\. The playlist songs with when/how they fit in the songs.  
> 2\. Prologue and possible first chapter of this story (Converted and altered for a novel).  
> 3\. ;D You'll just have to wait for this one.  
> (Now that I look back, I don't think they're quite 'super-special-awesome', but oh well... ^^;)
> 
> Again, please let me know what you think! I'm a little unsure if reader-chans affection towards Loki has changed too much over this chapter; and I also don't know if Loki is right... and there seems to be a lot of talking in this chapter... Is there too much talking...? O.O Please tell me!!!!! Q.Q


	21. The Return to Grace

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 21

_***_  
A soldier of some description came out of one of the doors and knocked into you, sending you into Loki’s side. He caught you with ease and pulled you close to his chest.  The sound of smashing walls and people’s yells came from the floors above,  
“What in the name of Helheim is going on?!” Loki growled while pulling you deeper into the darkness.  
***

You both rounded a corner, readying to head to the stairs, but before you could get there, you were knocked back by Loki when a large Chitauri soldier sung at him.  You fell into a small, half-dead pot plant and knocked it over, sending the remnants of the tree and dirt all over the ground and your body.  The Chitauri swung at Loki once more, but he blocked it and punched the alien in the cheek.  It seemed unfazed by Loki’s attack and turned its attention to you.  Having noticed the Chitauri’s interest in you, the dark haired prince quickly intervened.  
“Enough!” Loki yelled while shoving the Chitauri soldier away. “I know your race is dull, but I did not expect you to be _this_ stupid!”  Upon realising who it had attacked, the Chitauri soldier knelt before Loki.  It gurgled and made other screeching noises that you guessed to be its language before falling silent. Begrudgingly Loki then waved his hand and shooed the alien away. 

With a heavy, tired sigh Loki turned around and offered you his hand,  
“Do forgive-,” Loki trailed off when he met your gaze. “What’s wrong?”  But you couldn’t answer, you were too transfixed on the small red light dancing on his chest - - Your eyes widened and the mental image of Loki being shot through the chest infiltrated your mind.  Without thinking and in one quick movement you snagged his hand, and ripped him downwards.  You heard a shot, and vaguely saw the bullet hit the wall, but that didn’t matter.  Loki was okay; probably a little irritable from being forced onto the ground, but _okay_.  Hushed murmurs echoed loudly in the otherwise quiet room. The thing you knew, Loki was no longer above you and pained groans and wails came from the men behind you.   You turned and saw a bleeding man stumbling towards you.  Hurriedly you scampered away, and the mortally wounded soldier fell to the ground.   You watched as the man’s blood slowly spilled onto the cold floor and his dimming eyes met your own.  A sharp gasp caught in your throat as his blood seeped closer to your foot.  You pulled away, and you were a safe distance away, you looked back to Loki, having not realised he was single-handedly taking on three other men.  For a moment your heart raced, fearing Loki would lose, but it took him little under a minute to subdue the attackers, and by that time the other HYDRA agent was dead at your feet. 

Loki was breathing hard when you finally saw him relax.  He ran his hands through his hair to pull back the stray strands before he stepped over the dead body and pulled you to your feet, brushing the dirt off of your skin and dress once you found your feet.    
“I didn’t realise how out of hand the situation was...  I would not have brought you back had I known...” he glanced up, but didn’t meet your eyes for longer than a moment.  Your hands moved to Loki’s cheeks to force him to look at you.  His sparkling eyes made you stumble on your words for a moment,  
“I-It’s fine...” you said with a warming smile.  He ran his hand through your hair to loosen the last of the dirt before he slowly pulled you to his chest,  
“It’s not safe down here.” He murmured before teleporting the both of you to the penthouse suite.

It took a small moment to regain your senses, but once your head stopped spinning you were able to hear people shouting and the rattling of gunfire.   
“Stay here, lock the doors, and hide yourself.  It shouldn’t take long to rein everyone back into line.”  He quickly released you and turned to walk back through the glowing portal.   
“No, wait!” you swiftly stepped forward and grabbed his wrist.  More gunfire and the sound of breaking walls made you flinch.  All of a sudden you felt too exposed, too weak and feeble in comparison to the warriors that occupied the building. “Please don’t leave me alone...” Loki turned and ran his thumb over your cheek.   
“You will be safe here.  The sooner I leave, the sooner I will be able to return.”  He leaned closer, “No harm will come to you here.” He gingerly pressed his lips to your own.  Your hand slipped free from his wrist and took up residence on his chest.  Loki broke the kiss far too soon for your liking. “I will not leave you for long...” He said and then turned, moving into the bright green light of the portal.  Just before he disappeared, you saw a golden veil of armour drape around his body and a forest green cape fall to his ankles.  The portal quickly shut, and he was gone; and you were alone... 

An explosion shook the building and very nearly deafened you.  You stumbled across the room and locked the entrance to the lounge room.  It would do little good to keep anyone out, but it offered you a small amount of security.  There was a sharp ringing in your ears as another explosion went off.  You shook your head and stumbled towards the couch all while taking deep breaths and trying your best to relax, but with every yell, gun shot and pained scream your nerves only became worse.  You pulled your knees to your chest and rocked back and forth slowly on the lounge.  
“It’s fine...” you jumped sharply when the sound of someone being thrown from a window reached your ears.  Their blood-curdling scream slowly faded off until you could no longer hear it. “I’m fine... Two months... Two months...” A loud banging echoed on the lounge room door.  You jumped up and hid behind the couch just before the door slammed open. 

You tightly closed your eyes and held your breath, hoping to go undetected.   However, when you heard the footsteps coming closer, that hope began to fade.  It’s okay... They didn’t see you... An image of crimson blood slowly crawling towards you flashed in your mind.  Then you heard it.  The wood in the couch slightly creek and the material shift under the person’s weight.  You knew you were done for...  Hesitantly you looked up.  In the dark moonlight and shadow of the lounge you couldn’t see anything but their silhouetted outline.  
“(Name)?” a familiar voice called.  You quickly shot up; tears of fear turned to tears of relief and pricked the corner of your eyes uncontrollably.    
“Thor...?” you croaked out.  In a flash his arms engulfed you in a warm embrace and he pulled you out from behind the couch.  After a minute, he gently lowered you until your feet were firmly on the ground. “(Name) you must come with me, now.” He said while pulling you through the room.  It took a moment for your mind to process what he had said,  
“Th-Thor, wait!” You snatched your arm away from the Asgardian prince.  
“What is wrong?  Are you injured?” he asked while stepping towards you and cautiously reaching forward.  You shook your head,  
“No, but I-,”  
“Well, well, well... I shouldn't be surprised, and yet I am.” Loki spat.  Oh _God damn it_!  Every time!  Every _damn_ time Loki caught you with Thor!  
“Loki...” Thor snarled before he shoved you behind his back.  “Mark me Loki; you will not harm her again.” Instinctively his hand reached out for his hammer, but it barely moved an inch.  Loki snickered.  
“You are a fool, _brother_.” He said before lunging forward and stabbing Thor in the stomach with a small, shining dagger.  Thor fell to his knee, giving Loki the chance to look you right in the eye. “Did you know that they would do this?” He snarled darkly.  Your eyes widened,  
“W-What? N-No!” Loki stepped forward until he was barely an inch from you.  
“Did. You. Know?”  
“No...  I wanted to stay at the beach house... _remember_?” you breathed softly.  Loki’s fingertips trailed across your trembling lower lip before his hand moved to cup your cheek.  
“I believe you...” he smoothed down your hair and kissed the top of your head.  “I believe you.”  Pained groans from Thor made Loki pull away.  You tried to grab onto him and stop him from advancing on his brother, but your protests did little to deter Loki’s advance on Thor.

The dark haired man reached down and snagged Thor by the neck and hoisted him up until his feet were nearly a foot off of the ground.  The older brother clawed at Loki’s hand, attempting to loosen his hold, but in his weakened state Thor’s attempts were in vain.  
“I should have killed you the moment you were caught.  But I can guarantee, my sentiment towards you has disappeared _completely_.”  
“L-Loki...” You couldn’t stand it... You didn’t want to watch another person die... You _couldn’t_.... “Loki.” You stated a little louder than before; but he paid you no mind.  Your eyes widened and a gasp caught in your throat when you saw Loki pull another dagger from his pocket and hold the tip of the blade to Thor’s broad chest.  You stumbled forward when Loki pulled his hand back, ready to strike forward and tried to force your legs to move faster, but you knew you wouldn’t make it in time...  
“LOKI!” someone screamed from the doorway, the sudden and unknown intrusion made you stop dead in your tracks, and everyone in the room glanced towards the figure in the doorway.   
“J-Johnathan...?” you said with furrowed brows.  Anger, disgust and hatred boiled under your skin.  Was he here to watch Thor die? Or was he here to torment you more? You grit your teeth and took a step forward, ready to tear into the teen with every drop of supressed anger you had, but he began speaking before you had a chance. “I was the one who wasted the last of the power...” he stepped forward hesitantly, “and I was the one who released Thor...”  You saw Loki’s nails dig into Thor’s throat for a moment before he threw the blond Asgardian onto the ground, making the floor crack slightly, and charged at Johnathan.

Loki latched onto Johnathan’s collar and slammed him into the nearest wall.  You noticed Thor slowly rolling onto his stomach, but you couldn’t rip your attention away from Johnathan.   Had he really done all that he said?  If that were true, then why had he told Loki about you? Your head was spinning.  
“Loki.”  You said, but he was too distracted to hear you.  As you took another step, you heard him saying something to Johnathan, but you weren’t close enough to hear what it was.  You were so close... You knew that if you could touch him and draw his focus away from Johnathan and Thor that they would be able to get away.  “Please Loki, don't-,” he swiped his hand backwards to stop your movements, but instead it sent you hurling towards the floor along with a few stray beams of vibrant – but deadly looking – magic.

Your arms automatically moved to cover your chest and head, but you knew it probably wouldn’t stop anything...  Out of the corner of your eye you saw something shift quickly, followed by the sound of shattering glass.  A sudden crack of lightening and rumble of thunder echoed in the sky, and you landed in the security of Thor’s arms.  Only, it wasn’t the same Thor you had become accustomed to.  His once bare chest and ragged pants had been replaced with glimmering silver armour and a bright red cape.  The Asgardian lifted his mighty hammer to block the stray magic before it hit either of you.  You should have worried about Johnathan... but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from Thor.  Was the hammer really capable of changing his appearance so drastically?  His once messy, mattered blonde hair was pulled back, his skin was clean, and the slightly hollow look in his eyes was replaced with fiery determination.  
“Release her now, or I will kill the boy.” Loki barked while raising the blade of his dagger to Johnathan’s throat.  Thor looked from you to Johnathan, thinking over his options.  
“I will not-,” Thor started,  
“No, go! He will kill us both anyway. Take her and-,” Before Johnathan could finish his sentence Loki slid the dagger across his throat and unceremoniously threw him to the floor.  Your focus moved to the teenager as he convulsed and jerked on the floor, trying to cover the long and deep wound on his neck.  You were sure everyone – even Johnathan – knew nothing would be able to save him, but that didn’t mean your heart didn’t ache.  Blood gurgled in his throat as Johnathan took his last suffocated breath. 

The sound of Loki’s shoes on the hard floor was like the rhythmic ticking of a clock and matched the beat of your heart.  Through watery eyes you looked away from Johnathan.  Irritation was clearly visible in Loki’s eyes.  
“Give her back to me and you will return to your _'friends'_ unharmed and unhindered.” Your mouth fell open slightly. Was he really bartering your return with Thor’s freedom..? You could barely believe it... You knew you meant _something_ to him... but you thought you weren’t worth much, especially not _that_ much.  The firm line Thor’s lips were making told you he didn’t like Loki’s deal.  
“Thor. Take the offer and leave...” You whispered just loud enough for him to hear; but instead of nodding, he shook his head,  
“No... No I would die before I return her to your side.” Wait... _what_?! Did he not just hear what you said?! You found yourself lost for words.  You couldn’t seem to find the strength to tell Thor he was being an idiot by not taking the deal; nor could you find the strength to tell Loki he was being brash and irrational.   
“That can be easily arranged.” Loki’s hands began to shine a vibrantly vicious green.  
“That magic is too powerful....” Thor murmured under his breath. “You mean to kill us _both_?!” Thor began spinning his hammer around at an incredible speed readying to take flight - - something you recognised from the news all those months ago.  You had to stop them... You fought against Thor’s hold, but he only pulled you tighter to his side.  Your eyes moved to Loki; when his eyes met with your own, you saw hesitation and longing shine brightly.  
“Loki...” you whispered, still trying to pry yourself away from Thor.  The colour in the dark prince’s hands began to fade out, and he took a step forward.  
“(Name), I love-,” Loki started, but before he could finish Thor flew the both of you out of the building.  He had to crash through the glass wall leading to the balcony, but he used his superior size to protect you from any injury. 

Once you entered the open and unobstructed air, you felt yourself slipping in Thor’s grip, and – not wanting to fall to the distant ground – you tightly wrapped your arms around his broad chest.  Your eyes slowly moved back to the still dark Stark Tower.  You could just see Loki standing on the balcony.  In the few moments you had travelled with Thor, a great distance had passed so you couldn’t see Loki’s eyes, but you could certainly feel his gaze on you...  
“Loki...”

***

Thor flew for a good ten minutes before he finally decided to land in a large, open field.  Dead grass and stones pricked into the bottoms of feet and scratched your bare skin.  You tried to find a place to stand that didn’t have the grass or stones, but the lack of light made it difficult.  Eventually you just gave up and resigned yourself to the pain, not that it was anything you were unaccustomed to, or that you didn’t deserve...

It had happened again. The vision of Johnathan’s blood spurting from his open neck wound flashed across your eyes. He played the double agent. He put himself at risk by coming to distract Loki. He had been killed, and for what? You didn't _want_ to be saved. You didn't _need_ to be saved, and yet he and Thor did so anyway!   
"(Name)..." Thor said while stepping closer.   
"No! Stay away! Everyone who has ever tried to help me has wound up dead!"   
“(Name). No harm will come to you or anyone else again, I promise you this.” He said while placing his large hand on your shoulder.

... Again you had been taken away from the life you were accustomed to... Only this time it was done as an act of friendship; but it didn’t make you feel any better.  You needed warmth... You needed security.  You shifted, ignoring the shooting pains in your feet, and hugged Thor tightly.  His embrace offered you some of what you wanted; but it wasn't the same. It wasn't what your body seemed to crave. Thor was too big, his arms too muscular and rigid. You wanted what you were accustomed to. You wanted Loki. His body fit your own almost seamlessly. He gave you security while also offering soft comfort. Your hold on Thor tightened slightly and you closed your eyes.  
"(Name), we must go."  
"Why?"   
“He will find us." Was that really such a bad thing...? It was what you wanted... You wanted _Loki_.  But then... if Loki found the both of you, he would kill Thor. "If he finds us, he will kill us both" no he won't. He wouldn't kill _you_... He _couldn't_ kill you. But he _would_ kill Thor.  It was kind of a sick joke... Loki, a man who claimed to love you, and _you_ professed to love, would kill the only person alive who has shown you unconditional kindness; all because he was jealous... Was that really what love was supposed to be? Your mind had warped so much over the months that his gesture seemed almost romantic... A small nagging voice in the back of your mind told you it really wasn’t. 

With a hefty and semi-impatient sigh Thor retrieved his hammer and began spinning it once more.  
"Do not let go". But you wanted too. You wanted to tell him to leave you behind; you wanted Loki to find you... But you just couldn't find your voice.  _Damn it_... Why were you being like this now?

*Loki’s POV*

Loki wanted to kick and scream at the individuals in front of him.  They had just proven themselves useless beyond words... They had succeeded in destroying at least a third of the building.  They had killed so many of his soldiers.  They were the reason Thor wasn’t captured immediately; so therefore it was also their fault that (Name) had been taken.  Loki gritted his teeth.  How had she managed it? She must have planned it before they left... but then... she must have changed her mind, right? He saw her pulling away from Thor... Loki gnawed on his lower lip.  She betrayed him, or intended to at least.  It was nothing new; he was accustomed to betrayal... So why did this time hurt so much? He closed his eyes, ignoring the droning speech from one of the high-level HYDRA members.  
“What is love mommy?” Loki’s eyes snapped open as the voice echoed in his head.  Before him was not the board room table... It was a memory he had thought was lost in time...

He was standing in one of the many gardens of Asgard.   Plush green grass engulfed his feet, and the sweet scent of roses lingered in the warm air.  A large tree stood tall and proud in the centre of the patch of grass and beneath it sat the young queen of Asgard, and his younger self next to her.    
“That is a silly question, you know what love is.” Frigga said with a warming smile.  The young boy’s brows furrowed,  
“Some of the other children don’t seem to agree...” he said with a small, contemplating pout.   Frigga ran her hand through his raven hair.  
“Loki...” she said dragging his attention away from his twiddling thumbs. “You know what love is.  You love me, don’t you?”  
“Yes...” he mumbled,  
“And your brother and father?”  The little Loki eyed her for a moment, silently pleading with her to let him _not_ say it. “Loki.” She said with an unamused tone.  
“Yes, them too.” He said quickly.  Frigga smiled.  
“Then you know what love is.” Loki thought over her words for a moment.  
“Is true-love different?” The queen raised a brow.  
“What have these children been telling you?” she asked.  The young boy hesitated with his response, but he took a deep breath and spoke; knowing the queen wouldn’t allow the conversation to end there.  
“They said I’m too cold... They said I would never know true love because of all the trouble I create...  they say that no one could ever love me...” Frigga wrapped her arm tightly around her son’s shoulders.  
“The love they talk of is special, and there are few people who can find it, even if they look for their entire lifetime...”  
“... So they were right?”  
“No.” the young boys brows furrowed once more.  
“Then what?  If normal people have trouble finding it, what hope could I have?”  Frigga looked to the sky as the words slowly came to her.  
“Those who find it only do so because they lower their guard... they let other people see who they truly are...” she looked back down to him and placed her hand on his small chest, “inside.” She finished.  The small boy quirked a brow, not understanding what she meant.  “You have to be willing to risk _everything_ if you want to find that love, bare your soul to another person, even knowing that they could hurt you.” She said.  The little Loki thought her words over for a moment.  
“Well that’s just _stupid_.” Both Frigga and the older Loki laughed at the boy’s statement.  
“How do you suppose that?” she asked.  
“If you open yourself up to someone like that, and they hurt you; it would leave all of your weaknesses and insecurities completely exposed for anyone to use against you.” Frigga sighed and kissed his forehead.  The little Loki scrunched up his face and quickly wiped away the kiss.  
“My dear, love is giving someone the power to _completely_ destroy you, but _trusting_ them not to...”  
“But _why_?” the young boy urged, “I don’t understand _why_ love _has_ to be that way.” The queen sighed and stood.  
“One day, when you’re grown, you will understand...” the little Loki quickly stood and chased after his mother.  
“I’m grown enough to understand now!” he insisted as they left the gardens.  Slowly the vision began to disappear, and Loki began to regain his senses within reality.  
“S-Sir?” one of the old men asked.  Loki’s emerald eyes snapped up,  
“If you could control your underlings, none of this would have happened.” He snarled as his mind returned to the scene before him. 

After everything had been handled and the power grids for New York had been turned back on, Loki called an emergency meeting.  All the senior members of HYDRA had been called to one place so Loki could tell them _all_ how incompetent they were.     
“I assure you that the Chitauri started it-,”  
“I don’t give a _damn_ who _you_ think the blame should lay with; I am _telling_ you that it is your doing.  Stupid paranoid humans.” He growled while standing and starting to pace. “I will give your people _one_ chance earn back your dignities and my respect.”  The whole room fell silent and everyone’s attentions were squarely on Loki. “There is a small homing device hidden in the handle of Thor’s _precious_ hammer... Once we make sure _everyone_ in our midst is one hundred percent _loyal_ ,” he scanned the room, “we will attack and kill The Avengers.”  
“How can you be sure that is where he’s going?” one of the HYDRA agents asked.  
“Where else would he go?” he snapped, making the agent feel like an idiot for asking such an obvious question.  Loki stepped back up to the large table and scanned the folders on the table.  Each one of them represented a HYDRA member that had turned against Loki out of fear of being killed in favour of housing more Chitauri soldiers; a ludicrous lie that Johnathan had spread before the blackout.  “Fools,” Loki sighed under his breath. “We will start reconditioning these sorry excuses for agents _tonight_.”  
“T-Tonight?” one of the elderly men asked.  
“Considering you won’t be doing _anything_ , I don’t know why you felt it necessary to speak.” Loki barked.  “Have the first ten brought to the underground levels as soon as possible.” He said before turning and leaving the conference room.  He noticed a few whispers questioning his orders, but he chose to ignore them; knowing that if he turned around to face them, they would end up dead.  And more dead soldiers wouldn’t bode well for him, not when HYDRA’s loyalty was only holding on by a single thread...

His mind shifted from the possibility of being overthrown to the reconditioning.  It would take seven full days to reform ten of the soldiers into what he needed... and there were nearly thirty to get through; three weeks in total... could he really wait that long?  He clenched his jaw.   There were only ten stations...  They couldn’t change more than ten at any one time... He would have to wait; _she_ would have to wait.  Loki took a deep breath and moved down towards the lower levels.  Maybe... Maybe he didn’t need them one-hundred percent changed... What do the humans call them?  He sighed irritably, the name escaping him, but it didn’t matter, he knew what he would do.   Loki stepped out of the elevator and into a starkly white room, robot arms, legs, torsos and heads lined the tiled walls.  If they could survive the procedure, then maybe he wouldn’t have to wait as long as he feared.  A small smirk pulled at Loki’s lips.   
“I can’t wait to see what Stark thinks of his precious suits once he sees what I’ve done with them...”

*Your POV*

Air rushed around the two of you at an incredible speed, making it nearly impossible to hear anything, and even more difficult to breathe.  
“Th-Thor... Where are we going?” you mumbled into his chest.   
“Before Johnathan - -,” Thor stopped abruptly and looked down at you.  Your eyes met for a long, silent minute before he sighed and continued, “He told me of a compound on the outskirts of Oregon...”  
“That’s on the other side of the country! I don’t think I can take six hours of this!”  
“Using human transport it may take that long...  But not with me” he said with a small smirk.  
“We’ll see...” you said sceptically.

***

It took just over an hour to travel the length of the country - - which included two ten minute breaks.  When you landed for the last time, you could see the exhaustion lingering on Thor’s features.  You looked towards the pale glowing city surrounded by a large wall a few hundred metres away.  Why hadn’t he landed _in_ the compound?  The Asgardian began walking, but he quickly stumbled over his own feet.   You attempted to catch him, but his larger stature and superior weight was too much for you to hold.  Thor chuckled breathlessly,  
“I have been in the cells for too long... I fear I may have lost a large portion of my strength...”  
“Do you want to rest?” you asked while moving to kneel beside the muscular man.  He shook his head and breathed deep before standing.  
“No... I can rest once we get inside...” he began staggering towards the walled mini-city.  You knew just from looking at him that he wouldn’t make it all the way on his own, so disregarding the large possibility he could crush you, you slipped under his arm an tried your best to offer him some support.

By the time you reached the great entrance of the city, you were both exhausted and breathing hard. From far away the wall seemed far grander, but being this close, you could see the wall itself was made of scavenged pieces of metal and wood.  Tin from roofs off of old sheds, rickety old fences, barbed wire - - all of it thrown together to form a makeshift wall and gate. Through a small rusted hole in the gate you could see the vast village-like city hidden within its walls.  The houses looked much like the walls did, improvised and rickety; however there were a few buildings that looked properly built, stone, cement and bricks making up their foundations and walls.  
“Put your hands up!” a male voice called from above you.  Both you and Thor looked up.  A middle aged man with light grey hair stared down through the barrel of a sawed-off shotgun.  You fell silent.  Were you about to die? After traveling all this way, were you about to be killed by a man who didn’t even know what you had been through?!  
“I am Thor, of Asgard.  I demand you let us pass, I must speak with The Avengers.” The man lowered his gun and studied you and Thor for a long minute.  He then turned to the left, waved his hand and whistled. 

The gate began to creak open,  
“Go to the big house at the end of the main street!” the middle-aged man called before he disappeared behind a small guard station at the top of the gate.  Cautiously you looked to Thor.  
“Do you think you can make it?” you asked.  He nodded,  
“Yes, I’ll be fine.” He said while removing his weight from your body. 

Walking through the main street of the compound you could feel everyone’s eyes on you.  Literally _everyone_ stopped what they were doing and watched as you and Thor walked passed their homes.  You glanced up to the starry sky. It had to be nearly midnight by now... what were these people still doing awake?  The lights of one house turned on and a tall, thin, blonde haired woman with two children; all three of them wearing dirty, torn and slightly ragged clothes stepped out.  You were surprised they had electricity... even if it was flickering and unstable.  When your gaze turned to focus on the two children, the blonde woman quickly hid them from your sight and rushed them inside their home; all the while fear evident on their faces.  You sighed softly and continued on your way.  Why was she afraid of you? Your hand ran over the side of your neck, and you felt the burn mark in your skin.  You glanced down and looked at your clean, neat clothes.  Did she think you were there to hurt people? Did she think Loki had sent you? Your arms wrapped tightly around your midsection and you hurriedly moved next to Thor.  Why had her accusing gaze hurt you so much? You bit the inside of your cheek and walked up a small stone stairway to the front door of the impressively large concrete house.  Thor continued forward to the door, but you stopped and turned to survey the area slowly. 

The entire compound looked over six kilometres wide and – you turned – twice that far in length.  Your eyes moved to the houses at the feet of The Avengers mansion.  Elderly men and women, young families and single people... These people had only had a small taste of Loki’s wrath and they were left like this... What happened when he came for you? What happened when he killed everyone who aided The Avengers? You couldn’t let that happen... You couldn’t let these innocent people suffer because of your presence... You would stay until you saw a way out... The first moment you saw a chance to leave, you would.  It was too dangerous for you to be with them.  You knew Loki would somehow find a way to get to you; and being at the compound put all of these people at risk... Thor placed his large hand on your back and leaned down slightly,  
“It is safe here.” You glanced up to Thor,  
“Being here, I put everyone else at risk...” He shook his head.  
“Loki will not find us.”  You supressed a sigh; something at the back of your mind told you he would... something told you he was already planning his attack... something told you everyone here would hate your presence by the end of the month...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (The title can refer to either Thor or Johnathan. Thor for gaining his powers back, and Johnathan for -in my opinion- making it up to Reader-chan)  
> \- Songs that will fit over the chapter or two (advance warning in case you want to know them before the chapter comes out):  
> "Who Knew" Pink  
> "Stay" Lewis Watson  
> "Hal" Yasmine Hamdan http://lyricstranslate.com/en/%D8%AD%D9%84-hal-hal.html  
> "When I was your man" Bruno Mars (Lol. I can't believe I actually put this in...)  
> "All of the Stars" Ed Sheeran
> 
> Lol You actually thought I’d cave and let you have a happy ending early?! Pffft. Not by a long shot XD This is the end of the second arc. It was called, can we say it all together now? “Jealousy”! (really obvious title again... I know... :|) Which means that I’m about to start arc 3 of 4. This is where the avengers start coming into it all. – Now, I’m not sure how long this arc will be exactly... probably a little shorter than the other ones... but it may end up longer as well... Really it all depends on how long it takes Loki to get his shit together.  
> Also, for the scene with Loki and Frigga, did anyone pick up the slight Avatar: TLA vibe? I don’t know why, but when I think of Loki, Frigga, Odin and Thor, there's always something pushing me to remember Zuko’s family. (yes, Thor would be Azula XD). So... there’s that... X3 (I also see Loki as being bullied for his differences - - only when Frigga isn't around /Odin would see it as character building/)
> 
> Also, I'm a little unsure if I got everything through in this chapter... Did Reader-chan seem okay? Did Loki seem okay? How about Thor...? (Is anyone willing to forgive Johnathan?) Did the reactions seem okay??? TELL MEEEE Q.Q
> 
> I swear, Johnathan is the last character I plan to kill off... I think... maybe... *shrug* plans do change *evil smirk* And I mean that literally. Johnathan was originally supposed to help Thor and Reader-chan escape and lead them to The Avengers. But then he accidentally gave Loki Reader-chans name, and he seemed like a dick; so the only way he could come back to grace was to do something like this... *logic of my brain*
> 
> ... Am I making sense...? It's late here and I have no clue anymore... I think I'm rambling... I'll stop now... 
> 
> REVIEWS PLEASE~!!!!!


	22. Don't Get Lost

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 22

_***_  
“Loki will not find us.”  You supressed a sigh; something at the back of your mind told you he would... something told you he was already planning his attack... something told you everyone here would hate your presence by the end of the month...  
***

The sound of a heavy door creaking open reached your ears and you turned.  Light streamed through the open doorway and caused a horrible glare, stopping any attempt you made to see who was standing in the doorway.  Apparently the god-like man beside you had no such trouble because Thor stepped forward, his chuckle like a low rumble of thunder,  
“It has been too long Brother Barton!” The God of Thunder announced loudly as he pulled the shadow covered figure into what could only be categorised as a ‘man hug’.  You cautiously shuffled forward and used your hand to block out the still too bright light, “This is (Name).” Thor said while pulling you forwards.  Standing in the shadow of the unknown man blocked enough of the light for you to see his face clearly for the first time.  He was tall and slender - - though you could still obviously see the outlines of muscles underneath his polo-shirt and jacket.  His short, spiked hair was brown-blond, and looked more slept in than purposely styled.  “(Name), this is Clint Barton.” Clint nodded and offered you his hand.  You awkwardly smiled shook his warm, calloused hand.  
“It’s nice to meet you...” you noticed his icy blue eyes move toward the burn on your neck before returning to your eyes.  He chuckled softly,  
“I wish it were under better circumstances...” he said before releasing your hand and turning his attention towards the Asgardian behind you. “I think Bruce will want to see you.  He’s on the third floor, last room on the left.  I’ll take (Name) to meet the others...” You glanced over your shoulder.  Thor nodded,  
“Thank you.” Thor replied before the three of you entered the large, concrete house. 

***

Thor split from you almost instantly, and while Clint seemed nice, you were a little uneasy.  It would have been easier if there weren’t so many people around, but the house was filled with dozens of people who stopped and stared as Clint led you through the main room.   
“Don’t worry... They’ll lose interest soon enough.” Clint said as he fell into step beside you.   
“Really?” you asked with a nervous laugh as your arms wrapped around your middle.  
“Yeah... It’s been a while since a new person has come here, and you have to admit, arriving with Thor probably hasn’t helped to quieten your arrival.” He said with a grin as Thor’s happily loud shouts echoed in the otherwise silent halls.  
“Yeah... He doesn’t come across as a quiet soul...” Your eyes moved to the stair case Thor had used before returning to Clint.  “In situations like these though, I think it can be a good thing...  You know, for moral and... stuff.” you said with a smile. Clint nodded.  
“Evidently you’ve never seen a drinking game between Tony and the Big Fella. It can get terrifying...” he said with a laugh.  
“Really?” you asked while swerving between people.  
“Yeah.  Neither of them wants to lose, and so it goes on for almost the entire night.  Last time it happened, it almost wiped out an entire building.”  
“What?” you asked with a disbelieving grin.  
“Heh... Well... Once the alcohol runs out, it quickly devolves into... well...” He quickly raised an eyebrow, trying to find the right word.  
“Arguments?”  
“Yes... let’s go with that.”

Thankfully you moved quickly towards the back of the house, and there weren’t as many people - - in fact there weren’t _any_ people at all.  You breathed in the cool night air and silently sighed.  Somehow the house managed to be colder inside than it was outside... You took another deep breath and adjusted your sundress.  Damn it for not having any sleeves... or pants... or _warmth_.  Clint stepped ahead of you and opened a large, double door.  
“Are you cold?” he asked as the two of you stepped through the threshold.   
“Yeah, but I’ll be fine.”  
“I think I finally know why Thor snapped out of his funk...” Tony whispered not-so-silently.  Clint placed his jacket over your shoulders before heading deeper into the room.  
“Oh? Why?” Someone asked before the whole room fell silent, and you suddenly felt self-conscious.  Hesitantly you turned, and saw that everyone’s eyes were set on you.    
“H-Hi...” you said while shifting your weight awkwardly from foot to foot.  Everyone gave you a polite wave, but no one seemed to know how to start a conversation... You hoped Thor didn’t take too long...

You slowly wandered nearer the centre of the room.  The cold tiled floor and concrete walls trapped the cold air of the night too much, and the open glass doors covering two of the room’s walls didn’t help at all... You could see a large fire pit outside, but it looked like it hadn’t been lit in ages... You bit your lower lip softly. You moved your attention from the room to subtly graze over all the super heroes you had long admired, and wished would come and save you.  They were wandering around the room, reading, or silently chatting.  All of them looked the same as the day of the invasion.  The red head - - Black Widow - - had longer hair, and all of the men looked a little less muscular; but then who wouldn’t after so many months without an adequate food source.  The biggest change you saw was in Tony Stark; his once perfectly maintained beared was verging on unruly, and it looked like he hadn’t slept in days.  
“So, how did you meet Thor?” the former billionaire asked; he almost seemed desperate to fill the silence.  
“Um... We met in the prison cells actually...”  
“ _You_ wound up in prison?” he asked with a laugh,  
“Well, it was a better than the other option.” Tony cleared his throat to fill the sudden awkwardness.  
“How long did it take Thor to get back to normal?” The red haired woman asked.  
“Well... I never really saw this ‘funk’ everyone seems to talk about... but Bucky did mention it-,”  
“You know Bucky?” Steve asked quickly.  Know... No, you didn’t _know_ Bucky, you _knew_ Bucky.  
“Y-You don't know?” You asked, silently hoping they did know; you couldn’t bear the thought of having to tell them about all that had happened.  
“No.” Tony interrupted, “We do know.” He offered a sad glance to Steve before continuing. “We found someone who tried to help him; he was sent away because of it.” Your brows furrowed.  
“What?”  
“He fought against Loki and tried to stop him when Bucky was being dragged down a hallway...” You eyed Tony for a moment.  
“I'm sorry, but I was there. And I can tell you that _no one_ had the guts to do that.”  
“Are you sure? I mean maybe you missed it.” Steve said.  
“No, I’m certain. Loki had Bucky sent to a room. He was tied up with chains set in concrete, and then Loki went into the room. He didn't escort Bucky there. Whoever told you that is a liar.”  
“Who's calling me a liar?” Every part of your body froze except for your heart, which started racing. No... No... it couldn’t be... You must have been hearing things... It couldn’t be the same man... You felt tears sting the edges of your eyes.  Your knees stared to shake as you turned towards the origin of the voice, and when your eyes landed on the pudgy man, you very nearly cried out.  Why...? Why of all places would he come _here_?  Didn’t they know what he had done under Loki’s rule? Didn’t they know that he was the cause for Bucky’s death!?  That’s when it hit you.  They didn’t know... They may have known of Bucky’s death, but they didn’t know this _snake_ had caused it. 

The Teacher stepped out of the darkness of an adjoining room, and when he realised it was you, his jaw nearly hit the floor; but he quickly recovered.  
“You made it out... You made it out!” he exclaimed while waddling forward.  Just as his hand settled on your shoulder, you batted it away and stepped back,  
“Don’t touch me!”  
“She’s confused... the things Loki made me do...” he cringed and lowered his gaze while rubbing his temple.  
“Don’t give me that shit!” you yelled.  
“(Name), it’s okay, he can’t hurt you now... he can’t make me do those things anymore...”  
“What are you talking about?!” You glanced around the room; everyone was looking at you, confusion with a hint of disgust in their eyes.  Were they really buying his shit?! “He helped Loki kill Bucky!”  
“I have already told you.  I had no hand in Barnes’ death!” he growled back menacingly.  Your head quickly snapped towards the fat man.  
“Maybe not, but it was your own vanity that set in motion the circumstances that _caused_ it...” you spat back.  Tony sighed,  
“Just get her out of here until Thor comes back.” You froze.  
“You don’t believe me?” you asked as tears began to fill your eyes.  
“Look, he has already told us of everything that Loki forced him to- -,”  
“ _FORCED HIM_?!” you screamed. “He took pleasure; no, that’s not enough... He _revelled_ in every order he was given.  He was the keeper of all the girls Loki’s goons kidnapped; do you know what that means?” you asked, but answered the question before he had the chance. “It means this sick, perverted _fuck_ was given unadulterated access to dozens of weak, injured and defenceless girls.”  
“Look...” Tony started, not quite sure where to go from there. “I don’t know what you think he’s done, but he’s given us-,”  
“ _Think_ he’s done...?!” you took a deep breath. “What I _think_ he’s done...?” you let out a choked laugh, though, it sounded more like a sob. “I know _exactly_ the kind of man he is.  I _know_ he raped me, and would have done so again had Loki not intervened.  And I _know_ that if it weren’t for him, Bucky would be alive.”  You turned your gaze back to the pudgy man. “You may as well have tied the noose around his neck when you gave Loki his name!” Everyone in the room froze, having apparently let your words sink in.   
“What did you say?” the blond haired man, Steve asked you.  You took a steadying breath,  
“Loki was going to kill _him_...” you gestured to the teacher, “but before he had the chance to rid everyone of this _vermin_ , a deal was struck.” Suddenly all of your anger and hatred was gone, replaced with nothing but an unending sorrow and numbness. “The name of the mole, for his own safety... He threw Bucky under the bus, and then ran to you all so he could secure a position in your good graces _without_ having to crawl through the dirt like everyone else...” The doors suddenly slammed open,  
“What’s all the yelling abo-...”  Thor’s happy face slowly turned dark and emotionless and he seemed to completely forget he was even speaking.   Out of the corner of your eye you could see The Teacher trembling.  “I swore that if I ever saw your face again, I would tear it from your shoulders!” Thor growled as he strode forward and lifted the pudgy man by the neck.

Quickly Steve stepped in, and tried to pry The Teacher from Thor’s grasp.  Was it a bad thing you wanted to see the Asgardian squeeze the life from the fat man? Probably...  
“Thor...” Steve said.  
“You mean to protect this animal?” the God of Thunder growled while tightening his grip.  Steve was stunned to silence.  You could see on the super soldier’s face that he detested The Teacher, and he probably wanted to injure him in some way for what he did to Bucky... You could also see the confused glint to his eyes, not knowing why he had tried to intervene.  
“If you kill him, then he’ll take whatever he knows to his grave.  We have to know _everything_ he does.” Tony piped in lazily. Thor thought over the billionaire’s words for a moment before throwing The Teacher to the floor.  
“Take him away...” he said while turning his gaze from the panting ball of flesh on the floor.  Steve grabbed the man from the floor and forced him out of the room.  You could vaguely hear him pleading with the super soldier to believe he never did any of it... It made you sick.

You turned your attention back to Thor when his voice reached your ears.  
“How could you do dealings with such a man?!” he snarled at Tony. “Do you have any idea what he’s done?”  
“We didn’t when he first came here...” Clint said.  That almost seemed to calm the Asgardian prince, but you could still see the agitation in his eyes.   
“Didn’t Johnathan tell you what happened?” you asked before Thor had a chance to release any more of his anger on his team mates.  
“Oswald-,”  
“Oswald?” you cut Tony off.  
“That’s his name... What did he tell you to call him?” The billionaire asked.  
“The Teacher” You replied dryly.    
“Well, _he_ dealt with all the communication with Johnathan...  After Bucky died communication was difficult, and it was only with his knowledge of the altered codes in Stark Tower that we could create a secure line...” Tony laughed bitterly. “He claimed it would be better if he did it, so it looked like he was funnelling information to Johnathan just in case Loki found out... but now I see it was just a cover to alter any information Johnathan wanted to give us... We didn’t even know when you two were coming; Johnathan only said that he had to get out...” Tony said.   
“Johnathan felt it necessary to hide it, just in case our escape failed or was leaked by someone...” Thor said.  “Apparently he received pieces of the coordinates over several days just to be safe.”  
“Where is Johnathan?” Steve asked as he trotted back into the room.  You glanced at Thor, who had already lowered his gaze.  
“Dead... Loki killed him...” you murmured.

A long silent moment passed through the group.  You didn’t feel it was your place to say any more, and apparently no one else found it necessary to know any more.   
“I think it’s been a long night for everyone...” Steve started.  “Auden! Can you show (Name) and Thor to their rooms?” he called, causing Tony to snicker softly.  
“What’s so funny?” you asked as a petite woman with shoulder length white hair moved swiftly into the room.  
“The little cutie has a crush on Thor.” Tony replied just before the girl - - Auden - - reached the two of you. The white haired woman glanced at you before her gaze turned to Thor.  A deep red blush coated her pale cheeks and she struggled to find her words.  
“H-Hi, I-uh...” she cleared her throat. “We’ve only got one room free at the moment.”  
“(Name) can have it.  Besides, I have some catching up to do with everyone.” Thor said with a grin in Tony’s direction.  The billionaire began walking towards a small wooden crate and pulled a bottle filled with deep amber liquid,  
“I think this is a good time to crack open our last bottle...” he said while grabbing a few glasses. Auden touched your arm,  
“Come with me.” She said with a warming smile.

***

Auden led you upstairs to a surprisingly large bedroom.  The floor was tiled and the white concrete walls shone in the pale moonlight. The woman ran into the room and turned on a few lamps,  
“Electricity in bedrooms needs to be kept to a minimal... The power is a little shaky at the moment...” You nodded.  
“Okay; I’ll keep that in mind...” You replied.  Auden looked over to the right.  
“You’ve got a small balcony,” her attention turned towards a closed door, “and the bathroom is through there... and there are a few cabinets and books...” she turned back to you and smiled.  “That’s about it...” You nodded.  
“Thanks.” Auden then quickly moved towards the doorway, but stopped just before she passed through it.  
“Natasha and I are on this level too; and the boys will be downstairs, probably all night... if you need anything...  Just try not to get lost, okay?” you half laughed.  
“How big is this place?”  
“Well, it was originally an old shack, but Tony rebuilt it... It’s kind of like the new HQ for... well... everything... SHIELD, the Avengers...”she shrugged. “Everyone...” she met your gaze one last time, “good night.”  
“Night.” You replied before she closed the door.  Slowly you wandered around the room.  You turned the lamps off before sluggishly moving over to the soft looking bed.  You probably should have showered... and eaten... and had something to drink... but you were too tired to even think about moving any more than necessary.  However, the lack of motivation for movement didn’t stop your mind from clearly noticing the missing warmth in the large bed.  You reached your hand out to the empty side of the bed.  “Loki...” A cold shudder ran up your spine.  You tried to bury deeper into the blankets; some part of your mind actually thinking that if you wished and longed hard enough, he would magically appear next to you... So stupid... You closed your eyes and tried to ignore the tears rolling from your cheeks. 

***

Your dreams were never usually like this... It felt like you were still awake... and yet you were completely surrounded by darkness... You stretched your hands out and tried to feel for a wall, or furniture, or _something_... but there was nothing; nothing around you but the dark blackness of your own mind.  You closed your eyes and quietly groaned; that was when the soft sounds of sobbing began to grow in your mind.  Your brows furrowed and you tried to follow the sound.  It felt like you were walking for hours, but it eventually led you to a small child sitting on the floor. 

This was definitely odd... Everything else was completely dark, except for the boy, and you.  It was almost as if a spotlight was shining down on you.  You looked up.  Only there wasn’t anything above you.  
“I broke her...” the boys soft voice drew your attention back to him.  The longer you looked at him, the more he looked like - - your eyes widened.  Was this... Was this Loki?  
“Loki...?” he raven haired boy looked up, his deep emerald eyes meeting your own.  
“I broke her... I was angry... and I broke her...” He held out a small cotton doll with a torn arm. You knelt down beside the young boy.  
“Why did you break her?” you asked while gently pulling the doll free from his small hands.  Most of the small foam beads had fallen out of her body, and her arm was almost completely torn off...  
“Because... If I can’t have her, no one can... not even Thor,” a flash of lightning drew your attention back to the young boy - - only it wasn’t him sitting before you... It was the Loki you had become accustomed to.  He ran the back of his hand across your cheek, “Thor cannot have you... and yet you chose him over me.”  Your mouth fell open as the doll vaporised in your hands.  
“I didn’t choose him.”  
“Then why did you leave with him?” You opened your mouth to respond; but you didn’t know what to say.  “ _Well_?”  
“I don’t know... I didn’t want to leave... I want you to come and find me... but I know that if you do, innocent people will get hurt...”  
“Then come back to me...” he said while cupping your cheek.  “Come back to me...” you leaned into his touch.   
“I want to...” you placed your hands over his and lowered your head.  He pressed his lips to your forehead and breathed in your scent.  
“Dove - -,” suddenly everything went silent.  You looked up, Loki was still speaking, but you couldn’t hear him.  
“Loki...” you reached up to trail his jawline, but before your hand made contact, the whole world before you disappeared...

***

Your eyes cracked open, and you saw Thor kneeling beside you.  You felt his hand on your cheek; but you were too tired to keep your eyes open.  
“(Name)...” he said while gently shaking your shoulder.  This time your eyes opened and you groaned softly.  
“What time is it?”  
“Just before dawn... I’m sorry to wake you so early, but the other Avengers want you to attend a meeting...”  
“Who has a meeting this early?” you asked while sluggishly sitting up.  
“Barton and Stark will be leaving afterwards. They have to have it now...” You nodded.  
“Okay.  I’ll be out soon...” you yawned while sitting up.  
“Natasha has found some clothes, they’re in the cabinet,” he pointed towards a white, wooden cabinet before he left the room. 

You sat in the bed for a moment, thinking over the dream.  Your hand trailed over your cheek.  That’s all it was... It was just a dream... Thor’s touch was what made it feel real... You were surprisingly saddened by that realisation.  You wanted it to be Loki trying to communicate with you... but it wasn’t.  It was your mind toying with you; _tormenting_ you... Maybe that was why you had bound yourself so tightly to Loki... Maybe you loved the torment; maybe you thrived in his chaos - - and now that he was gone, your mind didn’t know what to do.  You were like a lost puppy wandering the lonely streets, imagining and dreaming of a master that you had run from... You threw the sheets from your body and slowly crawled out of the bed.  Suddenly you felt all too exposed... You truly felt like a lost dog, and the mere thought of that made you feel dirty...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I've just finished the first term of Graphic Design, and... well... everyone knows what the last week of school is like, right? Mad dash to the end, right? XD 
> 
> ANYWAAAAAAAY! I'm not entirely sure about this chapter... It took a little longer to write than I thought, and... well... *sigh* Just give me some time to build up everything that's necessary for the future of the story. I promise it will be worth it. ... I think... I hope... Uuuum... what else...? Oh! I've officially started my 2 week holiday from school, which means that I should be able to do a chapter for this and Unadulterated Smut every week. (Don't hold me to that, but I'll definitely try!!!)
> 
> For all those interested, I'm nearly finished Unadulterated Smut chapter 7, so it should be out REALLY soon~ 
> 
> Please review and tell me what you thought of this chapter!! Like I said I don't know if I even really like it, and I need to know what you think!!!


	23. Damn it, I'm Lost...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song later on in the chapter is "Hal" by Yasmine Hamdan. 
> 
> Also, some people commented about my name choice for The Teacher. Let me tell you I chose that name intentionally. Once we got into this story, I started seeing some similarities between him and The Penguin (from Gotham at least). They're both in it for themselves, they both grovel without mercy, and they both try to keep leverage against everyone they meet. ^^ Just thought I would clear that up a little~

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 23

_***_  
Maybe you loved the torment; maybe you thrived in his chaos - - and now that he was gone, your mind didn’t know what to do.  You were like a lost puppy wandering the lonely streets, imagining and dreaming of a master that you had run from... You threw the sheets from your body and slowly crawled out of the bed.  Suddenly you felt all too exposed... You truly felt like a lost dog, and the mere thought of that made you feel dirty...  
***

Hesitantly you stepped into the room.  It was only the fifth door you had come to. ‘Just down the hall’ Thor said, ‘It’s not far’, he said.  _Sure_.  You rolled your eyes, but quickly realised you were _finally_ at the right room.   
“(Name), what has taken you so long?” the Asgardian asked.  
“Sorry, I got lost...” you said, trying to hide your minor irritation with Thor.  
“I warned you about that, didn’t I?” Auden said with a soft laugh.  You almost had to do a double take of the white haired woman.  It was odd seeing Auden in a uniform... last night you hadn’t paid too much attention to anything really; but this time you could see the authority the otherwise sweet girl could demand.  Her white hair was pulled back into a low, but tight pony tail – allowing everyone to see the fine hints of age in her face – and her uniform was neat and looked near-new.   
“Okay, so back to business...” Tony said as you walked towards the large wooden table.  You took a seat between Thor and Clint and Auden sat next to Thor; you could see how hard she was trying not to fixate herself on the Asgardian.  A small smirk pulled at your lips, but you couldn’t dwell on it for too long. “Legolas, Auden and I are going to go to finalise everything in the California compound.  It’ll take about a week or two.”  
“I thought Fury was going to do that.” Natasha said while resting her cheek on her hand.  
“Mad-Eye Moody was called away... _somewhere_.” The billionaire replied with a sigh.  At that moment, the door opened and Steve walked in. Your brows furrowed and you turned back to the rest of the group.  How had you missed the complete and utter lack of Captain America?  
“Sorry it took so long, he wasn’t very cooperative.” Steve said while taking a seat at the table.   
“You expected him to just tell you everything?”  The archer beside you asked with a raised brow.  
“Well... _No_... I just didn’t expect as much grovelling...” Steve murmured the last part under his breath, but you were sure everyone in the room heard it.  
“Anything of use?” Tony asked.  
“Your suits...” The billionaire’s brows furrowed.  
“What about my babies?” he asked seriously, you couldn’t help but smile.  
“I don’t know... He just said that Loki had a plan for all of your suits, but it doesn’t seem like he knows exactly what it is.”  
“How can you be sure?” Thor interjected.  
“Trust me... If he knew, he would have told me.” The look on Thor’s face told you he didn’t completely understand, but you did, and from everyone’s tone of voice, you could tell who they were talking about as well.  The Teacher - - Oswald - - must have been _‘persuaded’_ to tell Steve everything he knew.  You were amazed how cold and calculating Steve sounded while speaking of The Teacher... Of all of them, he seemed, well, the most approachable...  
“Okay, now (Name).” Tony said, causing everyone to turn to face you.

You felt a little more than self-conscious...  
“What...?” Everyone raised a brow before turning to Thor.  
“You didn’t tell her?” Nat’s face and voice deadpanned.  
“Uh... Well... No...” Thor replied with an apologetic look.  The billionaire sighed heavily.  
“We need you to tell us everything you know about Loki and anything he has planned...” Tony explained.  
“I...” your brows furrowed. “I don’t really know...” Tony raised a brow and everyone gave you a sceptical look - - except for Thor of course. He understood... He understood what you were... No one else did... “Look, I wasn’t privy to much of anything except his bed.” Just saying that brought your mind back to the warmth of his bed... to the warmth of his embrace... It was a feeling you were already beginning to miss...  
“Anything you know; anything you’ve heard... It will help...” Steve said.  You took a deep breath and thought back.  
“I’m guessing you already know the power isn’t working that well...” you started, Tony nodded. “I...” your brows furrowed. “I don’t know.  He took me to a meeting once... but the pictures they had made me feel sick, so I didn’t really pay attention.”  
“Pictures?”  
“Of people, but the only one I saw was of a woman... Something to do with rebellions in Germany and England...” the image of the woman’s bloodied corpse flashed in your mind.  
“What did the woman look like?” Tony asked almost mechanically.  
“Um...” you thought back, but all you could see was her open chest and organs on display...  Tony slammed his hands down on the table,  
“What did she look like?!” he yelled, causing you to jump slightly,  
“B-Brown hair I think... I couldn’t see her clothes though... her chest was ripped open...”  
“It isn’t Pepper, Tony.” Clint said.  
“But it could be Maria...” he replied dryly. “Pepper went with Maria to settle people down... If it was her, then Pepper is probably...” he trailed off.  
“We’ve already discussed this-,”  
“We haven’t heard from either of them in _months_.” He growled.  
“I-I think she was the only woman...” your voice came out as a whisper, but everyone had heard you. “I’m pretty sure the rest of the photos were of men...” Tony took a long, silence glance at you before swiftly standing and exiting the room.  
“We’re leaving, _now_.” He said just before the door closed.

Clint and Auden slowly made their way out of the room, leaving you, Thor, Steve and Nat sitting silently in the meeting room.  
“I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to upset him...” you said, shrinking back into the chair.  
“It’s okay, he’s just stressed...” Steve said. You nodded slowly, but in truth, it didn’t make you feel any better... You weren’t accustomed to being spoken to like that - - no wait... You were... But it would always resolve itself with Loki wrapping his arms around you...  You missed the warmth... You missed his warmth... Thor’s large hand found your shoulder,  
“We’ve got a training session to go to... would you like to watch?” the Asgardian smiled warmly. “It probably won’t be all that interesting, but it’ll be better than sitting in the house all day.” You felt a small smile creep onto your lips.  
“Okay.”

***

Thor, Natasha and Steve - - all of the Avengers in fact - - ran classes to teach all those who were interested how to fight and defend themselves.  It was a good idea... Though you didn’t understand why they need to know how to fight if they lived this secluded from everyone... Better to be safe than sorry...

You pulled your knees to your chest and leaned back against a wall.  It was amazing how majestic everyone looked, moving swiftly around each other, disarming, sparring... There were at least sixty people in the large hall, and they had broken up into three groups.  Natasha took the agile fighters, most of which were women or slender men.  Steve took the ‘average’ people; those who were interested in learning about guns and basic hand-to-hand combat; and Thor took the burly, daring people.  He taught them how to fight with their hands as well as the more basic weapons, swords, hammers, axes... There was a nearly fatal incident when one of the men allowed an extremely large, extremely sharp axe to fly free from his hands and nearly decapitate a large portion of the participants and Thor himself.  Needless to say he wasn’t allowed to use the axe for the rest of the lesson... It was at that time that everyone took a break and Thor took a seat next to you.  
“Thor, do you think I... uh-,” Thor’s gaze locked with your own. “C-Could I join in...?” Thor studied you for a short moment.  
“I don’t think you’ll be able to cope with the strain... maybe after a short time to properly rest... but not right now.” You supressed a sigh,  
“Okay...” Thor handed you a small bread roll with butter and a thin slice of ham on it.  You nibbled at the edges, but felt guilty.  This was the food supplied for the students... They had spent hours training, straining their bodies... and now you were eating their food after spending just as much time sitting on your arse... You offered more than half of it back to Thor,  
“I’m not really hungry, do you want it?”  
“Are you certain?” you nodded and Thor took the roll from your hand and woofed it down in less than a minute.  After that Thor was called back over to the group as they restarted.

You honestly had a much better time than you had expected.  It was a bummer that you couldn’t join in, but you did help where you could, and the time seemed to fly by, because the next thing you knew, it was far passed lunchtime – heading towards the early afternoon – and the lesson was coming to a close. Thor and Nat quickly disappeared into the back room, but Steve stayed behind to chat with a few of the students who had a harder time than the rest - - including the man who nearly decapitated everyone.  Once he was finished talking, you cautiously stepped forward, and just before Steve was able to escape, you caught his attention.  
“S-Steve.” You said with a nervous smile. He turned, and when he did, you saw his expression turn one of surprise.  
“Yeah?”  
“Um... I was wondering if you could; no, wait-,” you chuckled awkwardly, “I was wondering if _I_ could join your class...  Natasha seems terrifying when it comes to classes, and Thor wouldn’t let me...” you finished with a smile.  
“Well...” he rubbed his neck and thought it over for a minute. “I don’t think that’d be a good idea... The classes are a little too advanced for you.”  
“Oh...” you looked down. “I understand; I probably wouldn’t have been any good anyway...” you finished with a false smile.  
“N-No, I didn’t mean you’d be no good at it, because you’d be fine; I mean you’ve certainly got the body for it - - No... I mean, after a few-,” Steve sighed heavily. “I’m still no good at talking to women...” he murmured under his breath while running a hand through his hair. A small smile cracked over your face.  His cheeks were reddening, and he was fumbling over his words.  It was adorable; but in an awkward best-friend sort of way.  
“It’s okay Steve...” You said, finally putting him out of his misery. “I get it... The classes have already been going for so long that it’s too late for me to catch up...” you said with a smile you hoped looked genuine.  Steve eyed you for a moment and placed a hand on his hip before he turned around to face Natasha, who had just re-emerged from the back room.  
“Hey Nat, do we have anything scheduled after the classes?”  
“No, why?” she asked while slipping a faded sweater on.  
“I’m going to use the gym for an hour or two after every lesson, okay?”  Nat’s brows furrowed as she moved closer to the two of you.  
“Why?” she asked.  Steve’s pale blue eyes turned back to you.  
“Because I’m going to give (Name) some mentoring...” You smiled wide, but Nat only laughed.  
“Wait.  You-,” she pointed to Steve; “against (Name)?” she pointed to you with a shake of her head. “How is that even remotely fair?” she asked with a raised brow.  
“Um...” Steve started while turning back to face you. “Well... Then how about you help out?”  
“How is that fair?” you asked, unable to keep the words down. “I saw her during the lesson; she’d be able to kick my arse from here to next Sunday...” Nat and Steve laughed,  
“While that’s true...” the red head started. “I think having someone nearer your height and body type would make training easier...” You cautiously eyed the red haired woman before moving your gaze to Steve.  
“Okay... I guess it could work...” you said.  
“What could work?” Thor asked as he stepped out of the changing rooms.  Your mouth fell open slightly.  It was official... he was born to walk around shirtless... Nat wolf whistled and chuckled softly.  
“We’re going to show (Name) around a little.  You should head back and check on Bruce, sometimes I think he needs to be reminded that he needs sleep.” The red haired woman said.   
“Would you like me to join you?” he asked, turning his gaze to you. You could feel Steve and Nat’s eyes on you; she had lied for a reason.  She knew just as well as you that Thor wouldn’t approve of the training.  
“No, you were nearly decapitated today... I think you deserve some time to rest.” Thor nodded before leaving the training hall.

***

Two hours later, and you were regretting your decision... They had only practiced the basic moves with you... but you still wound up flat on your back or thrown against the wall or floor... It was an accident of course, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.  Just under an hour into the session Steve tried to stop it all, but you urged him to continue – and he did, begrudgingly.  There was a small time nearing the end of the second hour when you felt your body become pain free, but it soon faded into the burning hell you were now experiencing... Your body had been used and abused over the months, but you were never forced to use so many muscles before.  
“I didn’t even think I had muscles in some of these places...” you murmured while slowly making your way up the stairs. Nat and Steve laughed as they moved ahead of you. “It’s not funny...” you insisted while trying to stop yourself from laughing.   
“Yes it is sweetie.” Nat said while opening the front door of the house.  You tightly gripped your sides.  
“I think I broke something...”  
“What makes you think that?” Steve said with a badly hidden grin.  
“Because laughing isn’t meant to hurt!” you said with a laugh that sounded more like a pained moan.

Steve softly placed his hand on your back and guided you into a small room with a plush couch and old looking T.V with stacks of VHS tapes, CD’s and a few DVD’s.  
“I don’t think stairs are your friends... Lay down here for a little while and you’ll feel better.” The blond said while guiding you down onto the lounge. You nodded and plopped down on the couch, causing you to wince.  
“(Name)?” Thor asked while busting into the room.  
“Hmm?” you tried to turn around, but the burning pain stopped you almost instantly. “Are you okay?” Thor asked as he placed a heavy hand on your shoulder,  
“Ow!” you quickly pulled away with a wince. “Everything hurts...” you groaned.  
“It’ll hurt worse tomorrow...” Nat added.  You whimpered softly.  
“Well it’s partially your fault, so you’ll just have to take care of me...” you said with a smirk, causing Nat to roll her eyes. Thor’s brows furrowed.  
“What are you talking about?” You, Steve and Natasha froze.  
“Well... um...” you started, but you couldn’t think of a worthy lie... If you told the truth now, it would probably make it easier on everyone... “Steve and Nat are going to train me after the normal lessons; jut until I catch up to the rest of the students...  Then I can join in the normal classes...” you said with an attempt at a sweet smile. Thor sighed,  
“This is why I told you it wasn’t a good idea... You’re not used to this kind of training, and you’ll just end up hurt...” the Asgardian said.  Steve and Nat took the chance to slip out of the door, however neither you nor they missed the look Thor gave them.  
“I’m fine Thor, really.” You said, pulling his attention back to you.  He reached down and gently picked up your arm.  That was when you noticed the deep purple welts and bruises along your skin. “Oh...” Your eyes lifted to Thor.  “By tomorrow, I’ll be fine.” You said with an encouraging smile. Thor took off his thick jacket and wrapped it around your shoulders before placing a large arm around you.  It had barely been a day since you were torn from Loki’s side... and yet here you were in the warm embrace of his brother... Something deep inside you churned at the thought of that. However, your body was too exhausted to fight against its need for sleep or the warmth, so you simply gave in and relaxed...

***

It was happening again... The dream that didn’t feel like a dream... But you weren’t complaining.  If it were anything like the last one, then that would mean... You turned around, and there he was...  
“Loki-,” you took a step forward, but cringed and stopped before your foot even hit the ground.  Before you even knew it, he was by your side.  
“Is everything alright...?” Loki asked while cautiously placing his hands on your arms.   
“Everything still hurts...” you mumbled while resting your forehead on his chest.   
“What did they do?” he said through gritted teeth.  
“Nothing...” you murmured as you closed your eyes. “Just training with Nat and Steve...”  
“The Man out of Time and that Mewling Quim laid their hands on you?” he growled.  
“No! - - Well... yeah, but only because I asked them to.” You said while pulling away. That sounded far better in your head... Loki’s brows pulled together and you sighed. “I want to get stronger... I want to be able to defend myself... The other night at the tower... I was useless.  I would’ve died if you weren’t there.  I’m sick of letting other people get hurt or killed because I’m weak.”  
“You’re not weak.”  
“Yes I am.” He placed his hands on your cheeks.  
“No, you’re not.  If you were weak, you would have broken long ago...” his fingers tangled in your hair as his other hand caressed your body. “If I could make the pain go away, I would...” A green energy surrounded the two of you.  
“I know...” you said, nuzzling into his chest.  
“Do you miss me?”  
“Yes... Do you miss me?”  
“Always.” You tightened your hold on him, but you could slowly feel his presence disappearing. “Don’t leave me...” you just managed to whisper before his form disappeared completely, and you were left alone in the darkness of your own mind.  So this was how it felt... This was how he felt when you left him...

***

When you woke up, it was nearly dark and the room was completely empty.  You shifted under a large blanket that you guessed Thor had left you, and noticed a cold trail of water that laced your cheeks.  You wiped away the remnants of the tears away.  Dreaming of Loki gave you peace... but it gave you so much pain as well... Kind of like him.  But as much as you hated it when you woke up, you wouldn’t stop.  You couldn’t... The dreams gave your mind a moment’s peace, and served as a constant reminder of what you needed to get back to...

Your eyes moved to the window.  The lights of the small city were already on and people were walking the streets happily, unaware of the danger your presence brought to them. Training with Steve and Nat will give you a chance to strengthen your body, while also giving you a chance to see the kind of people you’d have to slip passed to escape the compound.  Maybe a walk around the streets could do some good as well.  Find an empty corner, deserted street or small breach in the wall... You took a breath and nodded to yourself before standing.  To your surprise your muscles were only a little stiff, but much better than before... You rolled your shoulder and stretched your back.  Maybe Nat was wrong... Maybe you’d be fine tomorrow...  As soon as you took a step, a burning pain ran up your thigh, causing you to wince. Or maybe not... Slowly you hobbled out of the house, making sure to keep Thor’s large hoodie on so your face was hidden, before heading down the busy streets.

As you moved through the streets, you remembered Audra’s warning ‘ _Don’t get lost’_.  You thought she only meant it for the house... but now you could see that she probably meant it for the entire compound... Within ten minutes you were disorientated and completely lost.  You tried to find the large structure of the concrete house, but you were too deep in the streets and couldn’t see passed the roofs of their houses... You sighed and slumped against the large wall that surrounded the city.  How were you going to get back? Everyone still seemed scared of you... even during the training session there were people muttering about you... The hushed whispers of a crowd gathering around a small shop caught your attention.  Maybe because you were so far away from the main house, the people wouldn’t recognise you...  You stood straight and walked towards the crowd. 

They were gathered in front of what looked to be a family-run coffee shop.  The scent of homemade pies, cakes and coffee filled the air.  You sat down on a lone table nearest the back and watched a singer take the make-shift stage in the middle of the room.  An electric guitar picked up, but softly - - almost like a droning hum - - and the singer joined in only a moment later.  You couldn’t understand the words she was singing, but that didn’t matter because her voice sent everyone into a trance...    
“Do you know what she’s saying?” Natasha whispered as she slipped into the seat beside you.  
“No...”  
“ _and if a day passes by without seeing you,_  
_I forget you.._  
_How come this time I drew you,_  
 _the longing moves the nostalgia in my heart,_  
 _the night gets longer and the day passes backwards._  
 _Oh my fragile heart,_  
 _the separation is killing me,_  
 _I have no solution._  
 _I have no solution._  
 _My heart doesn't love once._  
 _My heart doesn't long for you once either_.” The music mixed with the singer’s voice and Nat’s quick translation was beautiful.  Though, that didn’t mean the words didn’t make your heart ache... You missed Loki... Every time you dreamed of him, it made it hurt less, and yet it pained you more at the same time.  “You miss him, don’t you?” you head quickly snapped to Nat.  
“What?” the red haired woman chuckled to herself while shaking her head.  
“After you fell asleep, Thor told us everything he did... I really didn’t think you’d be capable of moving passed it... but you miss Loki, don’t you?” your teeth sunk into your lower lip.  Was it really that obvious? Could everyone see it? You tightly gripped your leg, trying to stop your body from shaking.   
“Yes...”you breathed softly.  
“Will he come after you?”  
“After the way I left him?” you paused for a moment before nodding. “Yes...” Nat met your gaze,  
“Do you want to go back to him?” your eyes widened.  
“What?” you squeaked.  
“If Loki wants you, then he won’t stop until he finds you... That means he will seek out every compound we have built and destroy them until he finds you.” She paused and allowed you to take in everything she had said.  “There are sick, injured and weak people in those compounds... So if you want me to, I’ll help you get back to New York...” Your mouth fell open slightly. “We will have to wait until Thor is away... but once he’s gone I can get you back to New York.”  
“Why would you help me?”  
“Thor can’t convince Loki to change his mind... there’s no way in hell he’d listen to us, or any other human... If what you’ve said is true, then you’re the only one he’s tied himself to... And you’re the only one who can make him change his mind...  I wouldn’t usually offer to send you back into his clutches, especially after everything he’s done... but it seems like you’re our last chance to sway the homicidal lunatic.” You suddenly felt a great weight fall onto your shoulders. Could you really do all she thought you could? Could you really convince Loki to give up Earth...?  
“I’ve tried, he wouldn’t give up the rule of the Earth for me-,”  
“If he tried to come after you now.” Nat paused and leaned closer to ensure no one else could hear the two of you. “If he comes after you, knowing the risk an ambush has been raised because he doesn’t know the compounds, then he will have proven that he’s willing to risk everything to get you back.” The red haired woman quickly stood and slipped out of the small bar, “Down the street, third left, second right.” She said before leaving you alone with your thoughts – which is never a good thing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we will be dropping in on Loki for a large portion of the chapter~ 
> 
> What did you think of Steve and Nat? Oh! and what about Nat's offer to help??? o.o Tell me what you think please!!!! 
> 
> Again, I know I've had to slow things down a little... but trust me, it's all intentional!!! 
> 
> Comments please~!!!! :D


	24. Loki

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 24

_***_  
“If he tried to come after you now.” Nat paused and leaned closer to ensure no one else could hear the two of you. “If he comes after you, knowing the risk an ambush has been raised because he doesn’t know the compounds, then he will have proven that he’s willing to risk everything to get you back.” The red haired woman quickly stood and slipped out of the small bar, “Down the street, third left, second right.” She said before leaving you alone with your thoughts – which was never a good thing...  
***

*Loki’s POV*

Loki hated it... He hadn’t slept much at all, and it was all because his dreams would constantly wake him up.  They weren’t even dreams... They were nightmares in the guise of dreams...  Tormenting him... Torturing him... The Asgardian Prince rubbed his temple as another blood-curdling scream echoed in the hallway.  He needed release... He needed rest... He needed (Name)... The buzzing sound of machinery was muffled by the heavy metal door, but he could still hear it, just as he could hear the soldier begging to be released – or killed – between the screams in pain.  Loki knew the doctors wouldn’t grant either to him...

A hefty sigh left his lips as he reclined in the padded seat. It was all just a mess... The first seven had died after only three days; and the other three followed not far behind... A week had passed and he was still no closer to his goal...  He truly hoped the rest would survive; he didn’t know what kind of weapons he would be up against, but if he had a small legion under his control, it wouldn’t matter...   
“My lord.” A childish girl’s voice called. Loki opened his eyes and glanced at the lanky with hair the colour of wheat and unnaturally large breasts; even underneath the dirt-lined robe he could tell they weren’t gifted by the Norns – a bad doctor perhaps, but they were certainly not natural. Why humans found a need to modify their bodies he would never understand.   
“What?” he asked dully.  The woman smiled and allowed the tattered robe to slide from her body, revealing near see through black lingerie with lime green lace detailing.  Loki supressed his need to laugh; this woman was wearing a piece he had wanted (Name) to wear upon their return to the tower... Without thinking he ran the tips of his fingers over the green lace on the bra.  Apparently the woman saw this as an invitation to straddle his lap, because that is exactly what she did.   
“Do you like it...? I heard it was a favourite of yours...”  Since he released a large majority of the girls, the ones that remained were treated like royalty. He grimaced.  This is what they turn into when fear isn’t a factor... They became whorish sluts they can sleep their way to the top.   
“Get off of me.” Loki snarled while removing his hand from her.  The young girl pouted,   
“But I-.”   
“You really think that just because you have danced with other men among the tower, you are ready to take me?” Not once did she drop her gaze, and it irked Loki to no end.    
“I haven’t had any of the other men...” she said innocently. “I just want to be yours.”  She said while rolling her hips forward.  A low groan built in Loki’s throat as her untouched warmth pressed against his manhood.  Damn it! His body was betraying him! “Just let me be yours...” she whispered while gingerly lacing her arms around his shoulders. “My _King_.” She leaned down and pressed her lips to his.

***

Loki eyed the sleeping woman in his bed.  He felt disgusting.  Even after taking her, he didn’t feel any better.  He was still tense.  He was still tired.  He still couldn’t sleep... And worst of all, a nagging voice in the back of his mind wouldn’t _shut up_.  It was constantly reminding him that he had betrayed her... He had betrayed (Name)... He held his head in his hand and breathed deep. What had he done...?    
“Let’s go again...” the brunette said as she shifted to sit up beside him.  Loki didn’t respond.  He knew that if he did, he would shout and scream... “Sir...?” she asked while placing her arms around him and resting her cheek on his shoulder.    
“Get. Out.” He breathed softly.   
“What?”   
“You will never share my bed again...” he turned to face the woman, fire burning in his eyes. “Now get out.” He growled while shoving her from his bed.   Loki heard her body hit the floor, but he didn’t care, he didn’t look, he didn’t even flinch.  He knew she was already bruised and sore from their passion – and his rage – but he didn’t care if he hurt her more.  He wanted her out of his bed, he wanted her gone... So he kept his eyes forward, and his mind focused on (Name). 

The girl – whose name he didn’t even bother to learn – slammed the door as she left.  Regret burned in his throat and his stomach was anything but settled. It was like she was watching him... Like (Name) knew what he had done... His fist swung to the side and hit the backboard of the bed; cracking the sturdy wood.  On Asgard he would take many lovers at one time, and never had he felt such guilt! This is what she did to him... What ( _Name_ ) _’s_ influence had done to him.   Some would consider that she made him a better man; but in this world, in _his_ world, he couldn’t afford to be a ‘good’ man.  He couldn’t show weakness in the eyes of anyone...  So why? Why chase after her?! Why go through all of this in search of someone who makes him weaker?!   
“Because you love her...” a familiar voice called.

Quickly Loki turned, his eyes grazing over the entire room in search of the source.  He moved so fast that it took a moment for him to realise Frigga was standing in front of him.  He couldn’t believe it... After the bridge was destroyed, he thought he was free from any interference from Asgard... Loki pulled the sheets higher on his otherwise naked form, even after nine centuries he was still uncomfortable with people seeing him naked - - growing up around buff, muscular Asgardian’s would do that to a person...   
“I know this isn’t a dream... Why after all this time come to me?” Frigga nervously rubbed her hands together as she stepped closer.   
“I have watched you since the day you took Midgard.”   
“And yet you only decide to show your face now?”   
“You would not have listened to me before now.  You know that.”   
“Was that _delightful_ memory from the other day your doing as well?” Frigga sighed.   
“If I had not shown you that, what would you have done? Would you have stopped and thought about your situation? No.  You would have chased after her without thinking.  You would have blamed her for something that was not her doing, and you would have regretted it after you were done.” Loki chewed on his lower lip.  He was mad to begin with... had he gone after her straight away, he would have been beyond reason, and probably would have brought more pain to her than he already had...   
“Why are you here?” Frigga didn’t answer.  Loki looked her in the eye and squared his shoulders. “ _Why are you here_?”   
“Because I have seen many outcomes for what you plan to do.”   
“And what ‘ _outcomes’_ would they be?”   
“You know I cannot tell you.”   
“Then why are you here?” Frigga closed her eyes and took a deep breath.   
“Because you are at a crossroads Loki... Two paths lay before you, and you have to be prepared.” Loki was tiring of her answers.   
“For what? What must I prepare for?”   
“To lose her.” Loki’s eyes widened.    
“What do you mean?” he moved to get out of his bed, but decided against it because he was still naked.  The Asgardian queen moved back towards Loki and offered him her hands, he reached up, but his hand passed right through hers.   
“You know I can’t tell you...” He was also growing tired of that sentiment.   
“If you are able to project yourself here, it must mean the link between the worlds is almost repaired...” Loki trailed off and stared into the darkness of the night sky, “How long until he sends soldiers to try to knock me from my throne?”  Frigga looked down.  He knew she wouldn’t tell him such a thing, but he still felt it necessary to ask.  “What of Asgard? How have they coped knowing their precious Thunder God was captured by the man they all hated and ridiculed as a child?” Frigga guessed he missed idle conversation; he missed talking with people about something other than the state of the Earth, but this was a topic he only asked about out of habit.  He didn’t want to know, nor did he particularly care.  Loki sighed. “You said you’ve watched me since I came here... It means you’ve seen what I’ve done... The pain (Name) has suffered at my hands...” Loki laughed bitterly. “There are times I fear she only does and says things to please me, or out of fear of my anger...” he paused and looked his mother in the eye. “If you have seen me, then you must have seen her... Tell me... Is what she said true? Does she love me? Or does she simply fear me?”   
“I cannot tell you.” Loki’s brows furrowed and his jaw clenched tightly.   
“Yes you can, you just choose not to.”  Frigga ran her hand across Loki’s cheek, though neither of them could feel a thing.   
“I cannot tell you because it is something she must convince you of, not me; (Name) must be the one to tell you...”   
“and if I fail? If I fall before I hear it; what then?”   
“Stop fretting Loki... You want to hear the answer to a question, but you already know it.” Loki let out an irritated huff and rolled his eyes.   
“You know you’ve not answered a single one of my questions.”  Frigga smiled wide,   
“I do know that...” the Asgardian Queen’s form began to dissolve in the darkness of the room.  Had Loki not locked away his love for his mother, he would have asked her to stay, or told that he loved her; but he just couldn’t bring himself to say it.  “Please... Loki... Think before you act.”   
“I do, your other son is the one that rushes off before thinking.”   
“Think of _others_ before you act.” The last word was barely audible, but Loki just caught it.

A sharp knock came at the door, dragging his attention away from the place the projection of his mother once stood.  Loki sighed and turned around.  Since the night (Name) was taken, he decided to move down to his old room - - unable to spend more than a minute in the penthouse suite without working himself into a rage.  Of course, he blamed that decision on Thor, claiming he was sick of rebuilding it every time... It was partially true...   
“Enter.” He called. The door opened, sending beams of bright light into the room.   The guard was breathless and took a moment to finally speak.   
“S-Sir! They’ve successfully completed a procedure! They expect a second one to be finished within the next day or two.”  Loki raised a brow.   
“I’ll be the one to decide whether it was a success or not.” Loki said before throwing on his clothes and leaving the room.

***

Loki couldn’t believe it... They truly had completed the procedure... Tony Stark left many of his suits and spare parts in the tower after the events of New York.  Immediately Loki put some of the HYDRA scientists on converting the suits into attachable devices for humans.  He thought it would be easy, seeing as they kept Bucky alive for so long and made him a new arm; but it was far more difficult than he had expected and resulted in the death of numerous participants... However, now a perfectly synchronised blend of human and robot stood before him.  Human enough to make rational decisions, but robot enough to follow any order he gave; an AI with a living, fast healing body – thanks to the addition of nanobots in their blood stream.  It would have been easier to warp Stark’s AI and have it full the suits, but if he could manage to turn the soldiers without a glitch, then he could turn even the loudest rebels into his personal servants...   
“Your name?” He asked the cyborg.   
“Wilson.” There was still a hint of his human voice, but only barely, it was almost completely masked with a robotic drone.    
“Your purpose?”    
“To serve you, Sir.” A smirk pulled at Loki’s lips.   
“And how would you go about that?”   
“By killing anyone who stands in your way.” Loki glanced over the man.  The robotics was added to every part of his body except his jaw, neck and forearms.  In an ideal world he would have been completely transformed, but he didn’t have enough time – and even though he wasn’t completely transformed, he was more than obedient.   
“How long to do finish the others?” Loki asked the doctor who stepped in to take note of Wilson’s vitals.   
“Um... well...”   
“Spit it out.” Loki tried not to growl.   
“Everyone is different... But... if we can get through the others at the same pace... a week, maybe six days...” The doctor explained quickly.  (Name) had already been gone for a week... Could he really wait another one? He clenched his jaw.  The doctors would be working day and night to achieve that goal... and without any more people to pitch in, it wouldn’t possibly get done faster.    
“Six days.  Make sure you can keep that promise doctor.” Loki said before leaving the room. 

After so many near sleepless nights, Loki finally found himself able to relax and the nagging need for sleep wash over his body. Maybe now he could sleep without dreams of (Name) in pain, or disappearing from him mid-sentence – just as she had in real life – or doubting her own power and strength... Yes... To dream of her without such worries would be a welcome change...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short!!! The next chapter will be back with reader-chan and will be MUCH longer. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think. I'm a little nervous about giving Loki an entire chapter without going back to reader-chan, but... well... I couldn't make it fit any other way. 
> 
> Also, there will be a little time skip between this chapter and the next one - - just like there was between 23 and 24 [it was - and will be - only a few days, but still]
> 
> Again, I'm a little unsure about this chapter, so please let me know what you think~!


	25. Dazed and Confused

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 25

_***  
After so many near sleepless nights, Loki finally found himself able to relax and the nagging need for sleep wash over his body. Maybe now he could sleep without dreams of (Name) in pain, or disappearing from him mid-sentence – just as she had in real life – or doubting her own power and strength... Yes... To dream of her without such worries would be a welcome change... _

_***_

You breathed in deeply; the air was sweet and carried the scent of the forest.  Your eyes opened.  _Yes_.  You loved this place - - though the scent alone was enough to tell you where you were.  You didn’t actually know the place, but your mind had dreamt up a secluded, flowering field deep in a warm, and sun drenched valley.  Streams and forests lay to either side of the field, but you never ventured too far into them...  It took a while for your dreams to become this way, but just as you yourself adjusted to life within the compound, your dreams changed as well.  It allowed you a more peaceful sleep while also giving your mind time with Loki - - even if he was only a part of the dream as well...  The Loki you dreamt of was warm, comforting and absolutely dazzling...  You felt his arms wrap tightly around your body, separating your back from the plush softness of the grass.  He pulled you up and tightly to his chest, taking the chance to breathe in your scent.   
“Loki.” You giggled as he began kissing down your neck.  This was the Loki you had only seen glimpses of before... You shifted as he pulled you onto his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck.   
“I did not want to disturb you...”   
“I’m glad you did.” You kissed his cheek and nuzzled into his neck.  It took so many nights for you to settle in to the dreams with your imaginary Loki, but now that you had you didn’t want to let him go.   
“You are truly a dream to behold...” He said with a smile. You giggled softly.   
“Is that some kind of bad pun?” His brows furrowed.   
“What do you mean?”   
“Well... you called me a dream... but you are _literally_ the dream.  I’m dreaming of you...” your gaze shifted to Loki.   
“You’re asleep?” Your brows furrowed.   
“Of course... Aren’t I...?”   
“(Name)...” he chuckled while shaking his head.  “I will see you tomorrow night.” Your raised an eyebrow.   
“I know... I’ve dreamed of you every night since I left...” you said with a small smile. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to your temple.   
“And I have dreamed of you as well...” he said before your dream was interrupted by the sharp knock of someone at your door.

Your eyes opened just as Nat stepped in the door.   
“C’mon Sweetie, it’s passed lunchtime, I’ve been waiting for hours.” You groaned softly and sat up.  Last night someone suggested staying up for a movie festival - - though they were all old movies it was still nice, until the power nearly went out that is...   
“I thought you had to go somewhere today...”   
“Steve went instead.” She replied, giving you a knowing gaze.  Ever since she offered you her help, the two of you would sneak off whenever possible to make plans.  However, your plans always seemed to be thwarted by the unknowing Thor... Nearly two weeks had passed since you arrived at the compound, and the Asgardian still hadn’t left! He had been scheduled to leave four times already, but something always stopped him last minute...  It was almost like the universe itself was against you.  You sat up and stretched before standing and walking over towards the small cabinet of clothes you had.  You quickly changed and brushed your hair, but before you could follow after Nat, something in the corner of your eye caught your attention.  Well, not something, _someone_.  It was you... But at the same time it wasn’t... You stared into the cracked mirror in the bathroom.  You initially thought being in the compound would result in diminishing your stature even more, but surprisingly enough, you’d actually managed to put a little weight on – mainly around your arms and legs of course – but the nutritious food they had worked wonders on your body.  It didn’t taste all that good, but apparently Doctor Banner developed a way to alter the food everyone ate; and while some chose to eat the unaltered version of the food, you and all The Avengers chose not to.  Around four days into your stay, a large hoard of food arrived from one of the more developed compounds, and everyone was eating like kings.  You ran your hands up your sides which had changed into slightly more feminine curves. “Yes, yes, you look beautiful, now let’s go.” Nat said from the doorway. You smirked and rolled your eyes,   
“Not everyone can look like Scarlett Johansson you know.” Nat laughed and shook her head.   
“It’s bad enough Clint says it, but now he’s convinced you as well...” she said with a hefty sigh.   
“You do look like her though!”   
“No, _she_ looks like _me_.” Nat corrected with crossed arms.  You raised your hands,   
“Whatever you say, Samantha...” you said with a smirk.   
“I do not sound like her!” you giggled and hurried your pace down the hall, fearing Nat would lash out and unintentionally hit you - - you’d seen it happen on more than one occasion to Thor, Clint, and even Steve.

***

The meeting had lasted just over two hours – granted some of that time was spent eating and talking about mindless subjects; it was a nice change actually.  One of the server girls took a your empty plate away and Nat’s coffee, replacing both with glasses of water.  The small coffee shop on the edge of the city became your ‘base of operations’ with Nat and the few others she trusted to complete the mission – John, a guard at the gate, and Savannah, a truck driver for supplies.    
“Okay, see ya.” Savannah said before flashing her gorgeous smile.    
“Bye.” You said while Nat waved at the woman.  You took a deep breath and sighed silently.  Tonight... Thor was leaving tonight, and this time it was _really_ happening... It was _really_ happening... You closed your eyes tight.  It was really happening...    
“If you’re having second thoughts, we can postpone it...” Nat leaned on the wobbly table before taking a sip of water.  You shook your head.   
“No, I’m fine... I just...”  You trailed off.  You just... what?    
“Thor likes you, you know.” Nat said; a slightly out-of-the-blue statement really.   
“ _What_?”   
“Don’t act dumb,” Your brows furrowed.   
“Are you a ninja who spies on everyone? Or do you just know everything?”   
“A little from column A, a little from column B.” she replied with a grin.  You smile faltered and you looked away, causing an awkwardly silent veil fell over the two of you.  Was she right?  Nat was almost always right... “No one would blame you if you want to stay (Name)...” You glanced around the shop.  Families, friends and complete strangers sat at tables conversing happily... They were content in their lives - - it was far from perfect, but they were safe... they were together... That was how they needed to stay...   
“Nat... I have to...”   
“You don’t _have_ to do anything...  You only need to do what you want.” Nat paused for a moment. “What do you want?”   
“Loki...” No, that wasn’t right... You wanted the Loki you dreamed of... The one who was calm, the one who listened to you... Yes, he was still irritable and jealous at times, but not to the same extent... But you had fallen for the _real_ Loki; the one who held onto you tightly, even though it hurt you sometimes... Nat nodded.   
“Then we will go through with it, do you want to run through it all once more?”  You sighed softly,    
“Thor will leave, I will sneak out and meet John, he’ll take me to Savannah and we will meet you in Idaho.  Savannah will go as far as Chicago, and then you’ll use your ninja skills to get us into New York... Is that all...?”   
“Yes.” You glanced out to the street.  Slowly but surely more people were starting to walk around, work and school had finished; even after two weeks there were still people who didn’t trust you, and being around a large group of people who hated you always made you feel uncomfortable - - even when Nat was with you...  
“I’m going to head back now.”   
“Okay.”  The red head said. “(Name).” she called just before you turned around. “Falling is easy.  Waking up when you hit the ground isn’t, and the moment you feel uncomfortable; I want you to use this.” She held out a small device that looked like a remote control for a garage door. “Press it, and we’ll come and get you, okay?” you nodded and fiddled with it for a moment.   
“Okay...” You smiled at Nat before shoving the small device in your pocket and turning to leave.  Something in the pit of your stomach told you she was nervous and hesitant to give you the device... No, that’s ridiculous... Nat didn’t get nervous.  She was just worried about sending you back to Loki; but she didn’t need to be.  He wouldn’t hurt you... Would he?

The entire walk back to the house you lingered on your growing fears and hesitations.  Loki would still want you... wouldn’t he? Or would he have already moved on? Or would he hate you for leaving?  The Loki in your dreams was sweet, calm and understanding... but you hadn’t had a chance to speak to the real Loki at all... he would more than likely still be mad...  It wasn’t just Loki’s wrath that had you on edge... Your thoughts turned to Thor.  What would he think when Nat told him you had returned to Loki?  Would he be hurt?  Would he come after you again? You clenched your chest and bit the inside of your lips.  Why did your chest ache? You loved Loki, you shouldn’t have such reservations and worries about returning to him... Was it because you loved Thor as well...? You stopped dead in your tracks. No. He was kind to you, he was warm, he helped you... but you were friends... That was all...

You quickly entered the house and unintentionally slammed the door shut.  You just wanted to get to your room... The sun was heading for the horizon, and you were still tired – though that was ridiculous since you had only been awake for a few hours...   
“(Name)...” Thor called.  Of course he did! The universe was against you, so of course when you wanted to be alone it wouldn’t allow you to be...    
“Yeah?” you asked, trying to force a smile on your face.    
“Come with me, I want to show you something...” You quickly trotted up the stair case and followed Thor through the halls.

He led you through the large second story and into the dining hall.  The cooks were preparing dinner for the masses in the compound - - something that happened thrice a week.  The deep meaty scent reached your nose and made your mouth water.  Why were you so hungry?! You just ate! Thor gestured for you to enter the balcony just off of the dining hall.  Usually it was closed off because the balcony was rickety, but... Wow... It faced west towards the long distant water and setting sun and was high enough to see over the forests and grassy fields all around the compound.   
“Will you be alright while I am away?”   
“Of course.” You said with a chuckle. “Nat will keep me company, and I’m sure once Steve comes back he’ll entertain me as well.”   
“And what if _they_ try something again?” You looked down.  Just over a week after you had arrived, there were major protests in front of the main house to have you thrown out of the compound.  People were scared, people were suspicious, they didn’t trust you... But Thor, Nat and Steve all stood up for you and told the protesters that the three of them would leave as well if the mob had their way and evicted you from the city.   
“I’m sure they won’t try anything...”   
“But if they do?”   
“Then I’m sure Nat will make them all go away.”   
“But-,”   
“Thor.”  You cut him off and placed your hands on his cheeks.  “I will be _fine_.” Were you saying that to comfort him, or yourself?   
“(Name)...” Thor said, causing your hands to slip from his cheeks.  The Asgardian chuckled nervously. “Making sure you will be okay while I am away was not my only reason for bringing you here... Ever since Loki killed…” he couldn’t finish his sentence, and it pained you to see him in such a state.  You stepped forward and gently placed your hand on his muscular shoulder.    
“You don’t need to say it...”   
“Yes... Yes I do.” The blonde took a deep breath and tried again. “Ever since Loki killed Jane, I found myself incapable of protecting people; all I wanted was revenge for what happened to her... that is how I wound up being captured…  I was consumed by my hatred...” his stunning blue eyes turned to you, “but when I saw what was happening to the girls Loki kidnapped, I found myself wanting to protect people again… I wanted to protect _you_.” Your eyes widened slightly.  Was what you were thinking correct? Or had you taken his simple statement the wrong way? Thor stood straight and turned towards you.  Suddenly it became all too hard to breathe…   
“Thor, I- -,” You were cut off when Thor’s lips crashed against your own.  One of his hands moved to your neck, stopping your ability to break the kiss, as the other settled on your hip. 

It was… _odd_ … Thor was _extremely_ attractive, and any girl in their right mind would faint from the adrenaline rush.  Your heart was beating rapidly and you could feel your skin tingling, but… it just felt so foreign… Yet, it - - Your mind faltered. You didn’t know how you felt.  It was like you were being torn in two.  Thor had been nothing but kind to you, and since the beginning he showed his genuine concern for you and everyone else.  Loki... well... Loki was the complete opposite, but as time passed and you had the chance to spend more time with him, you had come to care for him...  Thor’s tongue gingerly traced over your lower lip, bringing your mind back to reality.  The God of Thunder pulled you tighter against his chest, allowing you to wrap your arms around his neck.  The longer the kiss lasted, the more your heart became conflicted.  Too many emotions ran through you at once, you honestly thought you were going to explode.

When Thor finally allowed you to part, you were both left breathless. The blonde didn’t allow you to pull away too far; if you moved forward even an inch, your lips would have met with his again.    
“The first time I saw you, I could see your strength.  Other girls had been through the hallway and had stumbled upon the prison cells, but every single one of them had lost themselves in the torture Loki had inflicted to them... You hadn’t... You were, and still are strong... And when that vile man attacked you; I felt like myself again, I felt a need to protect you, because at that time you couldn’t protect yourself.  I asked Barnes and Johnathan to watch over you as best they could...” your eyes widened. He... He what?  Suddenly guilt and sadness flooded Thor’s features. “It was my haste that brought Loki’s wrath onto Barnes...  Had I not pushed them to watch over you, that man would have never caught on, and they would both be alive...”  A pang of sadness hit your chest.   
“That’s not true...” your hands slipped down from his neck to gently grasp his hands. “The Teacher had a suspicion about what Bucky’s true intentions were, when he stopped to talk to me in the cell, he overheard what Bucky had said... It wasn’t your fault, and, well... I think Loki was starting to get irritated with him of his own accord...” There was still no change in the emotions within Thor’s eyes.  You wrapped your arms around his broad chest tightly. “It’s not your fault...” you murmured softly as his arms slowly engulfed you in their warmth. 

You didn’t want to lead him on, you truly didn’t... but you had to know what you wanted before you had the ability to lead someone on; and your mind was just in such a mess that you couldn’t make any sense of your emotions... You tightly shut your eyes and just tried to focus on reality, but there was still the little voice in the back of your mind asking you over and over again: _‘What do you want?’_  
“I love you (Name)...” every muscle in your body tensed and you couldn’t breathe, regardless of how much air you tried to take in.  “Loki has claimed to love you... but what he showed you isn’t love.  It is his selfish need for companionship and affection...” Thor placed a hand on the side of your neck and pulled away.  “I love you (Name)...”   
“Th-Thor... I...”  Your stomach was doing flips, and you could have sworn you were going to be sick.  Without thinking you began stepping back, before you were far enough away to quickly dart away from the balcony.  You heard Thor trying to call for you, but you couldn’t handle it.  You had to get out... You had to get away... You... You... No, you couldn’t do it... You couldn’t think about it.  You couldn’t think about the fact that you had betrayed Loki... You wrapped your arms around your middle and quickened your pace.  You just wanted to be alone...

You hadn’t even realised you were in your room until the cool touch of the bathroom tiles flooded through your feet.  You walked up to the sink and splashed cold water on your heated face before glancing into the polished, cracked mirror.  If anyone looked at you, they wouldn’t be able to see the tears gathering in your eyes, but they would certainly be able to see the redness... You ran a finger across the mirror.  How could he do this to you? After everything that happened between the two of you, how could you still hurt so much when you think of hurting _him_?! Without thinking your hand slammed forward into the mirror.  You cursed aloud and quickly ripped your hand back.  Shards of the mirror fell into the sink, and blood began seeping from your skin.  Quickly you retrieved a small, fluffy handtowel from the cavity behind the mirror and picked the shards from your hand.  You whimpered as you pressed the towel against your now sensitive hand.  The training sessions had strengthened your muscles, but certainly not your skin... and they had taught you to deal with pain, but not _this_ kind of pain.

You pulled the towel away as the bleeding slowed.  When you saw the large red mark against the white towel, your stomach flipped.  How many weeks had it been...? Two, three... four... At least four weeks, if not more, since that night with Loki in the cells... How long had you been asleep for before he healed you...? A week? Maybe more? So maybe it was five weeks... Your chest began heaving. What if you were pregnant...? After all the rushing around your fears of pregnancy had been pushed aside, replaced with pining for Loki... but... Oh God... You felt your hands shaking and legs threatening to fall from under you.  You had to get to Nat... She probably wouldn’t know what to do, but you had to tell someone...  You dropped the towel and quickly jogged out of your room, heading straight for Nat’s bedroom.  Your head started spinning a little, but you pushed through it. Thank God her room was just down the hall... You knocked rapidly on her door,   
“Nat...” you said while opening the door.  Your mouth fell open when your eyes fell upon a rather surprising sight.

Nat was straddling the lap of... _someone_ \- - certainly not Clint - - atop the bed, and they were _both_ shirtless...   
“I... uh... Sorry...” you squeaked before turning to shut the door.   
“No, sweetie, it’s okay.” Nat said while standing.  When she caught sight of your bloodied shirt she grabbed your arm.  “What’s wrong.”   
“It-It’s nothing.  I cut my hand on the mirror...” she examined your hand and gently prodded the small cuts and examined your hand.    
“You should wash and wrap it...”   
“Later... can I speak with you?”   
“Sure.” She said, leading you into her room. 

The bedrooms in the house must have all been similar, because Nat’s room almost looked like a mirror copy of your room...   
“You know Bruce, don’t you?” Nat asked while gesturing to the brown haired man on her bed.  You opened your mouth,   
“Uh... No actually...” you said with a smile.   
“I’ve been busy; I haven’t really seen much of anyone.” Bruce stood up and reached a hand forward. “It’s nice to meet you...” you shook his hand,   
“It’s nice to meet you too Doctor Banner.”  You turned back to Nat. “You two are... _busy_... I’ll come back later.”   
“I already told you, it’s okay (Name), I don’t mind, and neither does Bruce...”   
“I...” you cleared your throat.  Suddenly it felt all too difficult to speak... Your gaze met with Nat’s, silently pleading for privacy.   
“Come with me, I’ll clean your wound while we talk.” She said while leading you towards a small glass table with chairs surrounding it.  You sat down and Nat retrieved a small box of medical supplies from her bathroom.  “So is there a reason you punched your mirror?” Your eyes widened.   
“You _do_ know _everything_... don’t you?”  Natasha chuckled and began wiping the cuts.  You glanced over your shoulder, still very aware of Bruce on the other side of the room.  “I thought you were with Clint...” You whispered softly. Nat laughed,   
“No way.  He’s got his own thing going on.”   
“Really?”   
“Yeah, trust me, there’s only one woman he’d answer to, and that’s definitely _not_ me.”   
“Why isn’t she here?”   
“She’s safe where she is.  There wasn’t a need to move her.”   
“Huh...” you said.  Hearing that Clint had a girlfriend was weird... you almost shipped him with Nat...  Knowing they were nothing more than friends was almost disappointing...   
“Stop dodging the question (Name).  Why’d you hit the mirror?” she said while beginning to dress the wound, bringing your mind back to the matter at hand.   
“I-um...” you took a deep breath. “I think I might be...”  
“(Name)...” you could hear the uncertainty and worry in her voice.   
“I was confused, and hit the mirror because I couldn’t really make sense of anything... but I... After looking at the blood, it reminded me... and I... I think I might be pregnant.” Just saying the words felt foreign to you.  Not once had you ever had to worry about pregnancy... Nat took a moment to think about what you said,   
“Would it be Loki’s?” Your brows furrowed.  That seemed almost insulting.  Did she think you were sleeping around with people?   
“Yes.”    
“How many weeks?”   
“At most four, if not five... at least, maybe two...” You took a deep breath. “I might be wrong; I mean they had us on this birth control... Loki removed mine, but it could take a little while before everything washed out of my body... right?” you stumbled your way through your thoughts until you ran out of breath. “Nat, I... Do you have a test? Or do know where I could get one? I just... I need to know...”   
“I’m sorry... I don’t think it would be the first thing on anyone’s list when leaving their houses...” You nodded.   
“I know...” You buried your head in your hands.  Bruce cleared his throat and pulled both of your attentions towards him.    
“If you’re worried, I’d be able to make one for you... I can’t guarantee the accuracy, but it’d be better than nothing.” You took a deep breath.  While you usually didn’t appreciate eavesdropping, you could more than forgive it in this situation.   
“Thank you, Bruce; that would be amazing...” you said with a smile.   
“We’ll postpone everything till tomorrow night...” Nat said as she led you to the door. Quickly your gaze moved to Bruce.  She had said that far too loud, he would have heard! “Bruce is the one who made you the panic button (Name).”  Your worry quickly subsided and your hand skimmed over the clicker in your pocket.   
“Thank you... both of you...”

***

After the initial offer, Bruce came up with the idea of doing a blood test, but you didn’t want that... You didn’t want The Avengers - - or anyone else - - to ask why you were in the lab with Bruce.  You didn’t want anyone else to know that you could be pregnant... No one except for Nat and Bruce could know... When the scientist finally arrived at your door, four hours later, you hugged him tightly and thanked him over and over again – and made sure to promise him you wouldn’t bother him and Nat again – before turning back into your room and entering your bathroom.

The test looked a little more mechanical than what you had expected, but apparently it worked just like any other pregnancy test... You replaced the cap on the test and watched as the small timer one the screen counted down.  Three minutes... Three minutes...  You placed the test on the sink and watched it intently, nervously waiting for the coloured line to appear.   
“Come on...” you said anxiously.  You couldn’t stand still, constantly shifting your weight from one foot to another.  “Please, please, _please_.” Your head began to spin from the overwhelming nerves swirling in your stomach.  You leaned on the cool basin and watched the small timer count down.  Someone placed a warm hand on your shoulder.   
“(Name)...” you head snapped up and your eyes widened as you turned to face the source of the smooth, sultry voice.   
“Loki...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol. And you thought my other cliff hangers were bad. Even I feel bad for ending it this way... 
> 
> Sorry if nothing makes any sense... I've only gone through and edited once, and it probably needs another read-through... but... eh... I don't think it would be posted this week if I had to do that, so it isn't really as perfect as I want it to be, but to tide all my reader-chans over, it will do. (I will be finishing "Unadulterated Smut with Uncle Loki" by the end of this week *fingers crossed* and I will be continuing a new Loki story - "Unrequited")  
> I've been thinking/fearing this for a little while, but now I'm starting to worry... Is reader-chan becoming a Mary-Sue? I'm always afraid of Mary-sues in my writing, and I'm genuinely afraid of it happening in this story... DX
> 
> Um... other than that. SURPRISE!!!! Loki and Reader-chan's dreams were indeed connected~ You have no idea how hard it was keeping a lid on that. Literally any time someone asked me "Are their dreams connected?!" I wanted to yell "YESSSSS" But I couldn't... And what do you think? Is reader-chan pregnant? How will she react to Loki? How would someone react to Loki arriving at the compound? Will reader-chan get over her nerves??? Tell me what you think will happen and whether you liked it!!!!!! :DDDD


	26. Promise Me...

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 26

***  
_“Please, please, please.” Your head began to spin from the overwhelming nerves swirling in your stomach.  You leaned on the cool basin and watched the small timer count down.  Someone placed a warm hand on your shoulder._  
“(Name)...” you head snapped up and your eyes widened as you turned to face the source of the smooth, sultry voice.   
“Loki...”  
***

“(Name)...?” Loki said again.  You wanted to reply.  You so desperately wanted to reply; but you were absolutely frozen. “(Name)...” he gently trailed his hand over your cheek.   
“Th-This isn’t real...” you gasped as tears filled your eyes and your body began to tremble. “Y-You can’t be here... You’re not here...” Loki leaned down and rested his forehead on yours.   
“I am.”   
“No, no you’re not... This is a dream... Th-This is one of those dreams; I’m dreaming...” You closed your eyes.  It was all too painful... None of the other dreams had been like this, so why was it like this _now_? All the others were so obviously dreams... but this... this felt too real... He wasn’t standing in front of you, it was just your mind playing a sick joke on you...   
“Open your eyes...” he whispered into your ear before kissing your cheek.  You shook your head,   
“No... No it’s a dream... If I open my eyes, I might wake up... and if I wake up, then you’ll disappear, and I can’t handle it, not from here... Not when it seems so real... Not when it _could_ be real...” Loki chuckled and wrapped his arms around you.   
“That’s because it _is_ real you daft girl...” Your body melded to Loki’s.  His warmth... his scent... it was all the same... “I am real... I should have realised sooner, but I didn’t know our dreams were connected until last night...” he nuzzled into your neck and gently kissed up the tender flesh. You stifled the small whimper that rose in your throat, “I am here... just as I promised...” The Godly man pulled away and glanced over you.  Your fingers gingerly trailed from his cheek to his chest.   
“Y-You’re really here...?”   
“Of course.”   
“The dreams... They were real?”   
“In a way... yes.”   
“Was it you?” you asked seriously, not wanting any cryptic reply.    
“Yes.”  You lunged forward and wrapped your arms around him, and when you did, every rational thought left your mind.  You should have worried about the people in the compound.  You should have worried about the people you considered to be friends... but you just couldn’t.  The only thing you could think of was how much of a fool you had been for doubting your heart when it came to your feelings for Loki.  Though, there was still a nagging voice in the back of your mind that told you it was wrong... That he had broken you beyond repair... That it was easy to forgive him when you thought he was just a figure of your imagination... but now?  Now that he was right in front of you...?  
“(Name)...” Loki started, removing your arms free from his body and gently pulling you away from him. Your brows furrowed,   
“What?” Was he about to tell you it was a dream? Was he about to rip out your heart? His fingers trailed over your cheeks and gently ran through your hair. Oh god... he was... He was about to tell you it was nothing but a dream...   
“I have hurt you in a way no one should be hurt. I have wronged you too many times to count.... I have broken you time and time again and I have expected your unconditional love...” your eyes widened slightly.  Was... Was he apologising? “I'm sorry...” apparently he was... “I do not deserve another chance – or any of the chances you have given me... But please. Trust me one last time, and you will _never_ regret it.” Your mouth fell open.  “I will give you my heart, my soul, my _everything_... I will show you everything. Every weakness, every scar... I will give you the means to utterly destroy me, and if that is what you do, then so be it. But if you do not, if by some _miracle_ you choose not to, you will see everything. Every part of me, no lies, no tricks... Just me....”   
“Loki...” you breathed out softly.   
“I have spent too many hours to count thinking of how many travesties I have brought down upon you.” He took a deep breath to calm himself, but you could tell every moment without an answer was killing him. “I do not expect you to believe me, or to trust me, but if what we shared in the dreams was real; if anything you felt was real and not a façade or daydream, then-,” you cut Loki’s rambling off with a kiss.  It was only meant to shut him up and put his worries to ease, but the moment your lips locked, you didn’t want to pull away - - and considering his hands moved to your hips and he pressed his body closer, you guessed he wanted the same thing.  

His hands skimmed to your hips and held you tightly there - - but you were all too quickly running out of air... You broke the kiss for a moment, but kept your lips close to his,   
“Okay...” you said while nodding. “I believe you...” you bit your lower lip for a moment, “I trust you...” he didn’t even allow you a breath before he resumed the kiss and pressed you against the basin.  Your hands found his chest and gripped his shirt tightly.  You hadn’t even realised you were undoing the buttons until his shirt slipped free from his shoulders and your hands began roaming his chest.  It was such a familiar feeling; his skin beneath your hands; and after not thinking you would ever feel it again it felt like you had travelled the length of the universe for such a simple pleasure... Loki made quick work of your shirt and bra, his large, warm hands roaming over your tingling skin.  You hadn’t intended it to escalate so quickly... but you certainly weren’t complaining, nor were you going to stop him.  Hesitantly you ran your hands through his hair and pulled him tighter against your body.  The past few weeks in the compound – for most of the time – you were all but forced to forget about him and focus on training and the Avengers - - other than when Nat was around - - and in that time you had almost forgotten how good everything felt... but now? Now you were letting every primal instinct in your body take over... Your hand gently tangled in his hair as another settled on his shoulder.  He lifted you up and sat you on the edge of the basin before pulling your pants away and settling between your legs.  

A moan built in your throat as he pushed two fingers deep into you.  The muscles in your legs clenched and your toes curled.  You could already tell how wet you were, and with the addition of his fingers, it only became more obvious,   
“L-Loki....” you mewled softly while hesitantly reaching down and palming his clothed erection.  You hadn’t even realised he was hard...  In one swift move he removed his hand, unzipped his pants and pressed his length deep into your awaiting warmth.  Your legs rose high on his body and your entire body tensed.  The sound of a few bottles and other items falling from the cupboard and sink onto the ground reached your ears, but you were too consumed in Loki to worry about it.   
“(Name).” he groaned softly when your legs wrapped around his middle, forcing him deeper into your womanhood.  Each gentle thrust nearly knocked you into the sink, but you didn’t - - Loki’s hands found your hips and held you still as he began his quickening assault on your womanhood.  You could tell he was holding back - - not wanting you to fall into the sink - - and it was quickly irritating him.  You leaned forward and pressed your lips to his, his arms to hook around your middle and lifted you from the basin. He then turned and carried you back into the main room.  You felt yourself slowly slipping down his body, but before you slipped too far, he was able to gently place you atop the soft mattress.  He chose to remain standing straight, watching you as you shifted a little self-consciously on the bed. 

As welcome as the soft security of your bed was, it meant that Loki was forced to remove his manhood, and the sudden emptiness within you was uncomfortable.  Quickly you sat up and kissed down his stomach, causing a low growl to rumble in his chest.  A small smirk pulled at your lips when you saw him reach down and attempt to sate his twitching arousal - - but quickly you slapped his hand away and ran your tongue over the tip.  Loki’s hand knotted in your hair, and a smirk pulled at your lips.  You teased him by opening your mouth, but when he tried to force his member forwards, you pulled away and lay back down on the bed.  Loki grabbed your hips and pulled the lower half of your body upwards.  He kissed between your plump breasts, and licked down towards your still heated womanhood before he once again entered you.  You moaned softly and arched your back away from the bed and gripped at the sheets tightly.   
“Loki!” you gasped as he began thrusting into your core.  You tried to force your legs around his waist, but you couldn’t control them at all - - you were too overwhelmed with pleasure to do anything other than moan and call Loki’s name over and over again.   

Slowly you could feel your body tensing, and womanhood constricting tightly around his member.   
“Oh God...” you groaned, feeling your climax looming.  Loki smirked and kissed up your neck.   
“Come...” he breathed softly.  As soon as his lips began running down your neck and his hands found your breasts, you absolutely lost it.  Waves crashed down on your body, wracking your entire body in indescribable euphoria. As quickly as it hit you, the feeling began to subside; however the throbbing of your walls did not and you soon felt Loki tense for a moment before he spilled himself into you; his breath ragged and hips jerking rapidly.

Loki released your body; causing you to collapse further into the bed, completely spent and breathless,   
“My Dove, I have truly missed you...” he huffed, crawling into bed beside you.  You hummed softly, too out of it to even respond properly.    
“I know.” you slurred softly while shifting on the bed.  Loki wrapped his arms tightly around you and began trailing his fingertips over your skin; causing goose bumps to rise on your flesh. “You know I missed you.” You said, guessing that was what he wanted to hear, however his raised brow and sceptical gaze told you he wanted something else. You ran a hand over his cheek.  “I love you...” he smiled softly and brushed the stray hair from your eyes.   
“I love you... Since that first night, I have only ever been yours.” Loki said as he pulled you closer to his body.    
“No more secrets... No more lies...” you said, needing to hear him confirm it one last time.   
“Agreed.”  Loki opened his mouth to continue, but instead he sighed. “Then I want to tell you something.” Your brows furrowed,   
“What is it?”   
“What I said was true; since the first night I took you from that ghastly room, I have only ever desired you... but while you were here; I invited one of the girls who remained in the tower into my bed...” Loki said.  Your mouth fell open. He... He _what_? You didn’t know how to feel... Your chest ached and found it hard to breathe. “(Name), I do love yo-,” without even thinking your hand began moving through the air and connected harshly with his cheek.  You gasped loudly when you saw the large red mark slowly appear on his cheek.  His wide eyes met your own.  You were both shocked...   
“I-I...” you were going to apologise, but before you could clearly make that decision, your mouth took over. “I kissed Thor...”   
“You what?!” he asked through gritted teeth.   
“I didn’t mean to... H-He caught me by surprise and wouldn’t let me go...” Loki sat up and ran a hand through his hair. Great... all that time you spent together in the dreams was for nothing... He was probably going to kill you for kissing Thor... Your gaze dropped, not wanting to see the blow that was probably coming...   
“Was he a better kisser than me?” Loki asked almost hesitantly.  Wait... he... _what_?   You looked back to Loki, his eyes set squarely on you.  It seemed like if he didn’t make light of the situation, he would turn into an uncontrollable ball of rage, and the former was far more desirable...  So why couldn’t you just validate him?!   
“What would happen if I say yes?” You smiled wide as slight fear flashed across his eyes.    
“I would hide away in the deepest, darkest hole this planet has.” You sighed with a smile and kissed his cheek.   
“There isn’t any competition between the two of you.” Your lips brushed against his,   
“Sir.” An unknown voice cut in. 

Your eyes moved towards the balcony; when you caught a glimpse of a shadowed figure, you sat up and pulled the blanket to cover your bare breasts.   
“I told you to wait Wilson.” Loki said while sitting up. A half robotic, half human man stepped forward, causing a small gasp to catch in your throat.  
“I’m sorry sir, but now would be the optimal time to attack.  “Much of the compound is asleep, and there has been no substantial movement from The Avengers in over half an hour.”  You glanced from Loki to the robotic man and back again.    
“Wh-What is he talking about?” Loki ran a hand through your slightly tangled hair,   
“I came to get you; but I also plan to remove everyone from this compound.”   
“N-No, Loki...” Your eyes met for a long moment.  You could see the uncertainty in his gaze, “Please... You came to get me, and you have me... You don’t have to kill anyone.” Loki smiled and shook his head,   
“No, no, (Name).  I don’t plan on _killing_ anyone.  I intend to turn them into that,” he said, gesturing towards the robotic man. Your mouth fell open slightly.  He was joking... he had to be joking... You stared silently into his eyes for a long moment.  He wasn’t joking...   
“That’s _worse_...”   
“How? They do not die, they will not age, and they will still retain all their memories... They will be happy... they will be _free_.” They will be slaves... They will be his puppets... How did he not understand that _that_ was worse?!   
“Loki...” you sighed. “You... think you understand us... don’t understand humans at _all_... We are primal beings in so many ways, but so infinitely complex as well... We crave freedom because we know for most of our lives we will be forced into structure...”   
“Freedom is a lie, (Name).  It is something no one can ever achieve, and because of this it makes every one of you fall into deep anguish...”   
“Freedom inspires _everything_ within humans... If you force them to become like _that_ , they’ll be nothing more than empty shells; would you really want to live in a world dominated by... by... them?” you gestured towards the robotic man.   
“It’s either _them_ or _me_... There can be no middle ground.”   
“Why do you only ever see things as black and white?  When I was with Thor in the cells, you only saw what you wanted to see, when you look on the faces on the innocent people here, you only see The Avengers! They aren’t the same, and no one deserves to die!”   
“I told you, they will not die.”   
“But their souls will... Their _spirits_ will.” Loki sighed heavily. “Loki...”   
“Do as she says...” he stated quickly before trailing off. “Do not kill anyone, unless it is detrimental to completing the mission...” Loki’s eyes settled on you once more. “You’ve changed...”   
“What do you mean?”   
“Well, you’ve never slapped me before; though I’m sure you’ve wanted to... You’ve never been so strong - - so firm in your stance before...”   
“Is that a bad thing...?” you asked hesitantly.   Loki took a moment to think,   
“Yes... and no...” he said before slipping out of the bed and reaching for his clothes. “Dress, we will leave now.” He said while throwing your clothes on the bed.  You hesitated slightly.  Right... of course he would expect you to leave... For some reason you thought he would happily stay with you in the compound... but of course you would have to leave... A lump formed in your throat.  Was anyone going to get hurt? Was he just saying he’d leave them be so he could get you back to New York without any hassle? “(Name)...” Loki called.   
“Promise me no one will get hurt...” you stated quickly.   
“I already did-,”   
“No, you told him not to harm anyone... I want _you_ to promise _me_ that you won’t harm anyone...” Loki sighed,   
“Must we argue over such small details?  I was able to enter the city without being seen, I can leave without being seen as well.”   
“And we will go straight to New York?”   
“Yes...”  Who knew one simple word could remove the heavy weight from your shoulders...  You took a deep breath. Okay... Calm down... You were going to leave... No one would know... No one would know he was there; no one would know you had left... You nodded to yourself and threw the clothes over your head before moving with Loki towards the balcony.  Wilson flew off as Loki wrapped an arm around your middle.   
“Are you ready?” he asked.  You nodded; but before Loki could teleport the two of you away, the door suddenly slammed open, and Thor, in his rush, nearly slipped over as he entered your room.   
“(Name)!” he boomed while dashing towards you. _Fuck_...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eeeeeh... I'm not sure I like it... I always knew this was going to happen... but I'm not sure if I like it.... I... I... hmm.... Thoughts? Someone....? _Anyone...?_ Please tell me because I am seriously considering rewriting it... (I know I've said that before, but this time I mean it). 
> 
> Um... oh, right. Thor... Thor in this story... Well... He's kind of like that oblivious friend everyone has that ruins almost every moment... So... yeah... you should have expected that to happen... XD
> 
> Was Loki too fluffy? I mean I skipped a lot in the time skips. I skipped them slowly warming up to eachother in the dreams, I skipped Loki's reflection time, I skipped the moments Reader-chan wasn't solely thinking about Loki... and... well... should I have done that? - - Okay, a better question. Does this chapter make up for skipping all that I did? (I know that even if I didn't skip over the time, I wouldn't have included ALL the dreams, but I would have included at least some of them...)
> 
> Also, I know some people were a little unsure of reader's personality (because she leans on other people and has no voice). But I was saving it up for this. Okay, think about it for a moment. She was forced under Loki's thumb for so long, beaten down and broken, then just as she found a groove, she was torn away and forced to start again in a place where people were either afraid of her, or skeptical. Now that Loki's back, she'll have a little more bite back - - if you can't already tell. *coughcoughsheslappedhimcoughcough* I'll go into a little more of the reason behind it next chapter, but until then, feel free to speculate as to why, but I shall tell you later on :3 
> 
> Oh, and I know. I purposely held off the pregnancy test results. You're just gonna have to wait. (I know, I'm sorry. You've all been asking "is she pregnant" since before chapter 15, and I still haven't given you a definite answer....) Can we do a headcount? How many people want a little Loki, and how man people don't want her to be pregnant? (Just out of curiosity) 
> 
> Tell me what you think please!!! (Seriously, please...)


	27. Stop!

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 27

_***_  
“Are you ready?” he asked.  You nodded; but before Loki could teleport the two of you away, the door suddenly slammed open, and Thor, in his rush, nearly slipped over as he entered your room.   
“(Name)!” he boomed while dashing towards you. Fuck...   
***

***3** **rd POV***

The moon was already in the sky, and the cool chill of the night had spread through the air.  Almost the entire compound was quiet or asleep, with the exception of Steve. The super soldier had only just arrived at the city, and although he was absolutely _exhausted_ , he couldn’t go to bed yet.  He had to give his report to the rest of the Avengers before he had any hope of resting… although a five minute break before the meeting wouldn’t hurt anyone. He found the room their meeting was to be held in - - Tony due to all his meticulous scheduling was already there - - and fell back onto a free couch with a heavy sigh; his muscles relaxing for the first time in almost the entire day.   
“Aw... you alright honey?” Tony sang, fake concern lacing his words.  Steve glanced over to the billionaire; not once did his attention move from the book in his hands.   
“Just because Bruce is taken, doesn’t mean you can start that with me Stark...” Steve warned.   
“But sweetie-” he whined.   
“ _No_ ,” he growled. Clint, Natasha and even Thor began to snicker as they entered the room.   
“They’re at it _again_...” Clint sighed as he took a seat next to Nat. “You’re worse than a married couple...”   
“Like you would know Legolas.” Tony hit back.  Natasha and Clint grinned at each other for a moment,   
“Leave Steve alone, he’s had a big day,” Nat said with a pout.   
“Yeah, thanks for volunteering me for that by the way,” Steve said.   
“No problem,” she replied with a wide grin. The four continued to talk amongst themselves, only Thor chose to stay silent as he glanced around the room intently.  Steve was sprawled out on the long couch, Tony sat atop a bench with a book in his hands, and Clint and Natasha were sharing a double seat... Where was (Name)?   
“Has anyone seen (Name)?” he was slightly more than worried...  Why had he kissed her?! Why had he chosen _now,_ of all times, to tell her what he felt? He suppressed his need so sigh.  He had the _worst_ timing... Natasha opened her mouth to reply, but decided that the whole truth probably wasn’t the best option in this circumstance...   
“I think she went to bed... she wasn’t feeling well...” Immediately Thor felt like throwing up.  Was she truly feeling sick, or was she just disgusted with what he had done? She’d been forced into the bed of so many men in the past few months, and he was no better... He had forced himself on her, and probably caused everything to resurface...   
“Uh... Natasha... We have a slight issue...” Bruce said nervously from the doorway.    
“What is it?” she asked while standing.  The scientist hesitated.  He didn’t want everyone to know what they had planned... but he _had_ to tell them...   
“The audio device in (Name)’s communicator was activated...” Nat froze,   
“That means...” he nodded,   
“Loki’s with (Name)...” Bruce finally said; causing everyone in the room to fall silent.   
“ _What_? _What_ did you say?” Thor growled.  Immediately Nat stepped between the Asgardian and Bruce, not wanting a Code Green to erupt in the house or anywhere close to the compound.   
“We were trying to help her get back to him; it was to throw off his interest in the compounds... Just in case something went wrong, we gave her a device to call us in, it also transmits anything that is said when Loki’s voice is heard.” she redhead explained.   
“You intended to send her back to him?! Have you lost your mind?!” Thor yelled as he quickly ran off towards her room.

***

Thor burst into the room; the only thought in his mind was to get Loki away from (Name). When his eyes landed on Loki, a growl formed in his throat.   
“(Name)!” he called while stretching his hand out, calling forth his hammer.   
“Th-Thor,” she breathed out softly.  The raven haired man quickly shielded her with his body, and readied to block any advance Thor made.   
“Have you not taken enough from her?!” The God of Thunder yelled as Mjolnir entered his hand and he swung at Loki.  Realising there was no point in trying to block such a swing, Loki wrapped his arms around (Name), and teleported the two of them outside of the city limits.  Lightning and thunder cracked and rumbled in the night sky.  Clearly Thor was pissed.  

A large quinjet sat, surrounded by twenty of the robots, all of which varied slightly in height and weight. Wilson was standing at the head of their pack.  Another bright flash of lightning and loud crack of thunder echoed in the sky,   
“Get on the plane.” Loki ordered while shoving the human girl forward gently.   
“Bu-,”   
“ _Now_.” Loki gestured for Wilson to step forward; he grabbed her by the arm and led her onto the ramp of the quinjet.  However, before they could make their escape, Thor smashed through one of the wings as he landed on the ground.  Loki muttered something under his breath as he lunged at Thor.  The older brother was quick to parry his attack, and when The God of Mischief lunged again, Thor took advantage of Loki’s blindness to everything but him, and used Mjolnir to fling a piece of stray metal at him.  The raven haired god dodged it with surprising grace, but in that moment, the blond grabbed his younger brother by the scruff of the neck and flew them back towards the main house, and away from (Name).  A loud crash moved through the otherwise still air; it was probably Loki being thrown through the outer wall of the house.  The (h/c) haired woman sharply tore herself away from the robot and walked forwards a few steps, her eyes never leaving the dust cloud the Asgardian’s had caused...    
“How the _hell_ am I supposed to get up there...?” she asked with a heavy sigh as she looked around.  The quinjet was destroyed and useless - - though it wasn’t like she could fly it anyway - - and it would take an hour to get into the city and get through the town…  A spark from the wing of the plane made (Name) turn slightly; that was when she saw the robotic man still standing beside her.  In one swift move, she turned to face Wilson.    
“Can you take me to them?” she asked.   
“My master has ordered you onto the ship,” he replied.   
“He wanted me there to keep me safe.” she pointed to the wing which began to spark viciously and slowly catch on fire. “Does that look safe?”   
“My master has ordered you onto the ship,” he said once more. (Name) bit her lower lip.   
“Look, you have two options. Either take me to him and keep me safe... or I will go alone and you will have to deal with Loki’s wrath...” her threat was empty; if he didn’t want to take here, there was little use in her even attempting to get into the town; the fight would be over long before she arrived.  “Well?!” she urged, hearing the clashes of metal, gunfire and yelling in the distance.    
“Very well... I will take you to him.” Wilson wrapped a metal arm around her and flew off in the same direction as the Asgardian’s.

***

He took (Name) to a large sitting room - - only it wasn’t really a sitting room anymore... Thor and Loki had demolished almost all of the furniture, and smashed through many of the walls.  Rubble, shards of glass, wood splinters and the like filled the floor, and the ceiling looked like it could collapse with a simple breeze; but that didn’t stop her.  The young woman pushed forward, swiftly jumping from place to place to avoid stepping on anything.  Wilson followed behind her, the glass crunching under his heavy footsteps.  Where were the others? The rest of the robots were nowhere to be seen - - though the sound of the Avenger’s fighting and explosions were certainly there...

Suddenly Thor came crashing through one of the few remaining walls, Loki following not too far behind with a large, curved dagger in hand.  He loomed over the red-caped god, and slowly pierced his thick armour with the blade before sharply removing it.  Blood poured from Thor’s chest, which Loki then stepped on before kicking him onto his side.   
“Loki!” (Name) gasped as Thor hit the ground with a sickening thud.   
“Stay out of this (Name),” he snarled before turning back to Thor, ready to send the dagger back into his chest.   
“Loki!” she shrieked once more.  This time he turned around, knowing Thor wouldn’t be able to move far, if he could move at all. “Loki... stop it... please...” Why was she asking him to stop...? _‘You are at a crossroads Loki... You must be prepared to lose her...’_ Would he lose her? Would he lose her if he was merely protecting his own life? ‘ _You came to get me, and you have me... You don’t have to kill anyone’_.  He glanced for a moment at Thor, who was still dazed and trying to regain his footing.  Loki reluctantly dropped his hands,   
“Know that the only reason any of you will survive tonight is because of her... Should you come at me again, I will not be so forgiving,” he growled at Thorbefore he began to walk over to her.

***Your POV***

Your once racing heart began to slow.  Maybe, just maybe you could get Loki to leave without killing anyone...   
“This is the last indulgence I will grant you for a _very_ long time,” he growled as he made his way over toyou, his emerald eyes burning. Your mouth fell open slightly. “His death would allow peace to reign over the Earth; I could begin rebuilding everything that had to be torn down to make this world mine... But if he lives, things will have to continue on this course until the day when I can finally silence him.”You gnawed on your lower lip and wrapped your arms tightly around your middle.   
“I-I...” everything felt like it did all those weeks ago...  He hadn’t changed... he was still cold... he hadn’t changed...   
“(Name),” Loki said, snapping you out of the rut you were in, “We have to go...”  But did you want to? Clearly whatever dream you had had about your relationship with Loki was just that; _a_ _dream_.  Whatever he had promised or said, he obviously didn’t mean... “(Name)...” he rested a hand on your shoulder.   
“Did you mean any of it...?” Now probably wasn’t the time to bring this up... but you had to know before you took another step with him; before you took a step down a dark path you could never return from.    
“Any of wha-,”Suddenly someone ran straight towards Loki, and tackled him into – and then through – the nearest wall.  Your eyes just managed to catch the end of a deep crimson cape, and the silver shine of familiar armour.    
“Oh God _damn it_ Thor!” you groaned.  “Every time! Every fucking _God damn_ time!” you screamed, leaving you almost breathless.  

You took a deep breath, trying to recompose yourself and gather your nerves before following behind the trail of destruction left by the Asgardian’s.  The large hole in the wall opened to the outside world, and if the cold wasn’t enough to force the air from your lungs, the sight before you certainly was...Everything was worse than you thought it was... Buildings were destroyed and on fire, the townspeople were running scared, and the Avengers were trying their best to hold back the robots as Thor occupied Loki.   It was all a complete mess... Once the situation you were in was only a single fallen snowflake, but it had slowly accumulated into this... an unstoppable snowball raging down the side of a mountain, gathering speed and size as it went... Before you now was that unstoppable ball... the result of all your choices and decisions.  A pained groan from _someone_ pulled you back to reality. The cyborgs began to overwhelm the Avengers, Tony was just able to keep up with them using his suit, but everyone else was slowly being backed into a corner. Wilson... Wilson listened to you... It was a long shot, but maybe it could happen again.    
“Are you all connected...?” you asked the robotic man behind you.   
“Our minds are synced into one.” He replied.   
“So, if Loki gave you and order, it also went to everyone else?”    
“Yes.” You nodded.  Okay... Okay maybe it really would work...   
“S-Stop... Stop!” you yelled to the open space; however none of the cyborgs listened. You gritted your teeth and tried once more. “Loki ordered you to do as I say, remember?!” almost all of the robotic men stopped.  “I’m ordering you to _stop_ , power-down, or whatever it is you do...” you trailed off, feeling the eyes of everyone - - except for Thor and Loki on you.  The robots slowly moved to a straight standing position before the lights on their masks went off, and limbs became stiff.  Everything for a moment was silent... The wind blew through the air, carrying with it the sweet scent of nature; and the distant sound of birds carried with it as well... but then the harsh sound of clashing metal, and the coppery scent of blood overwhelmed you, and you were brought back to the compound once more...  The battle between the God of Mischief and the God of Thunder had almost come to an end.  Loki was visibly tired and kneeling below Thor, attempting to block the powerful onslaught of Mjolnir with barriers made of magic.  Your eyes widened.  Never once had it occurred to you that Loki could actually _lose_...

Without thinking - - or maybe you were thinking too much - - you began to move forward, wanting to stop the two of them; but suddenly something strong and warm wrapped around your middle.   
“No, (Name).  You have to stay back.” You immediately recognised Steve’s voice, but you couldn’t follow his request...   
“No!” you said while pulling and jerking against his hold. “Steve! Put me down!”   Your pleas fell on deaf ears, but you couldn’t focus on Steve; the sound of Thor breaking through Loki’s defences reached your ears, and the next thing you knew, Loki was being thrown around and beaten like a ragdoll. “Loki...” you breathed softly.  Steve’s hold on you tightened considerably, and you tried with all your might to free yourself from the super soldiers grip, but nothing you were doing was working. Your heart started to race uncontrollably as Thor moved closer to Loki. No... No...! The look in Thor’s eyes told you straight away that there was no chance Loki would make it out alive.  You had to intervene – You had to stop Thor before he _killed_ Loki. Sharply you yanked against Steve’s hold, “Thor – Thor! Stop!” you shrieked, but he wasn’t one of those robots, he wouldn’t listen to you - - hell, he didn’t listen to you when you were right in front of him, let alone meters away!  “Fucking hell Steve! I said let me go!”  
“Language!” he snapped. _Everyone_ stopped for a moment and stared at him.  The super soldier sighed, he was clearly embarrassed. “Old habits...” he said with a shake of his head.  In a moment of adrenaline filled power - - though it was probably due to the fact Steve was distracted - - you just managed to slip free of his grasp and ran over to Loki.  The Avengers called after you, but you were too focused on the scene before you.  You had to get to Loki otherwise Thor would kill him.  The Thunder God swung his hammer back, readying to deliver the final blow.  You tried to pick up your speed, but no matter how fast your legs were going, you felt you were getting nowhere.  Loki... Loki was going to die... No... No!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Thanks to my editor-chan Marwissa who helped with this chapter.)
> 
> Okay, so Loki was fluffy last chapter, but when stress is introduced, he reverts back to his old-self a little... does that really surprise anyone? :P 
> 
> Tell me what you think! (I actually think chapter 26,27,28 all have to be read in one big shot - - kind of like the Hobbit movies - - but, because I'm cruel, I've given you all a whole heap of cliffhangers. :3 You're welcome.) I'm a little worried about staying in 3rd POV for so long, but if it wasn't all one big chunk, there would have been several POV switches that would have been irritating... Also, was Reader-chan irritating? I mean... she can't physically make people stop fighting... but was what she did irritating? (running around, telling people to stop and... you know... stuff...)
> 
> So... did it work...? Was the flow okay? (I know I tend to make everything go faster than it probably should....) Tell me!!!! ^o^
> 
> Oh, and I found it really interesting that you were all pretty much split in the middle with the whole "pregnancy" thing. All I'm gonna say is that some of you were right, some of you were wrong, and some of you were REALLY wrong. ^^ But I'm not gonna tell you yet~
> 
> Review please~!


	28. Making Deals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO POST THIS! I was buried by assignments, and then I got sick, and I was sick for nearly two weeks... UGH. Anyway, here's chapter 28; like I said before, the past three chapters could probably be combined into one, but Eh. Enjoy~

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 28

***  
The Thunder God swung his hammer back, readying to deliver the final blow.  You tried to pick up your speed, but no matter how fast your legs were going, you felt you were getting nowhere.  Loki... Loki was going to die... No... No!  
***

Everything seemed to be in slow motion, and your mind and body only returned to normal speed when you fell to your knees and wrapped your arms around Loki.  
“(N-Name)…” he breathed softly.  You knew he was injured and you didn’t want to hurt him further, but you couldn’t let go or even loosen your grip a little on him.  
“(Name) – what are you-,” Thor trailed off as he took in the scene before him.  
“I can’t let you kill him...” You glanced over your shoulder.  Thor clenched his jaw, and you could see your words slowly settle within his mind, though the anger and fire still burnt in his eyes.  In a flash Thor grabbed Loki from your grip and pinned him to the nearest wall.  It took a moment to compute what had happened, but once you did, you quickly stepped between the two and braced your hand against Thor’s chest.  “Thor, stop it...!” you yelled.  Suddenly the older brother’s grip on the younger loosened, but only slightly.  
“You protect him, after everything he has done to you?” the blonde man growled.  When you didn’t respond, he continued, “I have seen firsthand the brutality of my brother,” his voice cracked slightly, “I have tried, I have given him chances to reform… But not again (Name)… Not after what I have seen him do to those girls… to _you_ …” His eyes turned from hard to soft, and his free hand moved to gently stroke your cheek.  
“Please… Thor…” you were confused, your emotions were already out of control, and now, with Thor speaking the way he was… it made your head spin… Focus… Focus! You were there to save Loki.  You forced your mouth to open and throat to work.  “I know better than anyone what he did to all of the girls…” you pulled Thor’s hand away from your cheek and glanced over to Loki before returning to Thor. “But I can’t let you do this…” you moved closer to Loki.  “I can’t let you kill him…”  
“Why? Why do you protect him?” he said while tightening his hold once more. Your hand moved to Thor’s arm, and you tried in vain to softly pry him away from Loki.  
“Because... because I love him...” Thor shook his head and threw Loki’s back against the wall before walking towards the other Avengers.  You watched him walk away before turning back to Loki, who began to slip down the wall; quickly you caught him before he hit the ground. “Are you okay?” you asked while gently lowering him to sit on the ground. Loki chuckled softly,  
“Other than the searing pain through my entire body?” he ran the back of his fingers over your cheek. “Yes...”  You knelt down in front of him, attempting to assess the wounds covering his body.  Blood was seeping through his clothes, his face had cuts and bruises, and you could see the exhaustion in his eyes.  
“I don’t know what will happen now...” you said, sensing someone approaching.  
“They will take me and put me in the deepest, darkest hole they have...” You felt your lower lip quivering slightly; but what had you expected really? After everything he had done there was no way he would be allowed to walk around free...    
“(Name)...” Steve called before he placed a hand on your shoulder.  “We’ll deal with him... you should rest.” You didn’t want to move... You didn’t want him to take you away from Loki... You didn’t want to leave Loki alone with them...  but you knew you didn’t actually have a choice...  Loki took hold of your hand and gave it a tight squeeze.  You bit your lower lip as Steve gently pulled you away from Loki as two people lifted Loki to his feet and took him away.  You tried to follow, but Steve held you still. “He’s going to be taken care of...  Just calm down and come with me...” he said while leading you through the rubble.

***

You were taken back to your room to rest, though it did little good, your sheets still smelt of Loki and any time you caught his scent you were forced to the verge of tears.  He had been badly injured... He wasn’t human... but still.  If his wounds were grave enough, they would kill him... right...? Your breath caught in your throat and the tears began to fill your eyes once more.  Damn it! You picked up and threw one of your pillows, not at anything in particular, it just to release your pent up energy.  You felt like a caged animal, agitated and unruly... You wanted to do more than they would let you.  But you knew you couldn’t.  They probably wouldn’t let you out of your room for God knows how long...

Unsurprisingly, you managed to go the rest of the night without a single wink of sleep, and when Nat came into your room to get you the next morning, she could tell that she could instantly tell you hadn’t slept...   
“You look terrible.” She said. You sighed and flopped back down on the bed.  
“ _Thanks_...” Nat leaned against the doorframe with crossed arms.  
“Everyone wants to speak to you.” She said, opening the door wider so you could exit.  
“What happened to Loki?”  
“Now, (Name).”  
“What happened to Loki?” you repeated.   
“He’s fine.  A little beat up and sore, but he isn’t in danger.” You nodded and let out a sigh of relief before stepping off of the bed and following behind her.  Though as soon as you joined the rest of the Avengers, you wished you’d stayed in bed...

Tony began the barrage of questions.  What was Loki planning? What had he told you? What had he seen while he was here? Why would you betray them? How could you control the cyborgs? A play on words? Bullshit. How could you really control the cyborgs? You sighed and ran a hand through your hair before slumping back in the chair.  
“Why-,”  
“Tony, enough...” Steve cut in.  You heard the billionaire grumble something before walking to one of the walls and leaning on it.  
“None of you trust me now...” you mumbled.  The super soldier sat down next to you,  
“We just need you to tell us what you know,” he said softly, which was a welcome change from Tony’s yelling.  
“I already told you everything I know...” You said.  It had been hours since they first brought you into the room, you were almost certain the sun had already begun to set... Steve sighed.  
“Did you contact Loki?”  
“No-... Not intentionally...”  
“You contacted him?!” Tony growled.  
“Not intentionally!” you repeated.  “Our dreams were connected... I didn’t even know that until he turned up in my room...”  
“Why’d you have sex with him? You knew what he was going to do, so why-,” you saw Steve raise a hand to silence Tony.  
“What was he going to do once he was here?” the Super Soldier asked kindly.  
“He intended to kill everyone...” you said softly. “But then he said he would return to New York without hurting anyone because he had me...”  
“And you actually believed him?” the billionaire asked,  
“Yes.”  
“Then you’re a bigger idiot than I thought.” He spat. You clenched your jaw, and looked down.  
“Can I go see him...?”  
“No, you can’t.” Tony stated while crossing his arms.  
“Why not?”  
“Because he is a criminal.  A _criminal_.” He said the last word slow and defined, almost like he was teaching a child to speak.  You raised a brow and crossed your arms, mimicking Tony.  
“I know that, I’m _not_ an idiot.”  
“Well you could have fooled me.  I don’t know anyone stupid enough to step in front of Thor when he’s swinging that hammer around.”  How could you respond to that? ‘Yes, but love is stupid’? No. ‘Fuck you’? Definitely not.   
“Look, I’m going to go see him whether you let me or not...”  
“Bullshit.” Tony said quickly with a chuckle and a shake of his head.  
“Please-,”  
“No.”  
“Tony-,”  
“ _No_.”  
“I’ll take her...” Nat spoke up.  Everyone turned to the red haired woman,  
“No, you won’t.”  Okay, now you started to feel like punching Tony in the face...  
“You’re afraid she’ll try to plan something with him, or break him out.”  
“Wait, what-,”  
“Yes, and don’t think you’re above suspicion either.  You were conniving with her.” Why were they talking about you like you weren’t there...?  
“Yes, to keep Loki away from here.” Bruce piped in. Tony turned to the scientist,  
“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you.” He said, clearly upset his science buddy had kept a secret from him. Nat sighed,  
“Then _you_ go with her.”  
“I-,”  
“ _Enough_!” you yelled, having taken all you could.  “Stop talking about me like I’m not here.  I can hear you all you know!” you said with a little more force than intended.  Everyone turned to you, and you could feel the irritation burning in their stares. “I want to see Loki... if you don’t want me to, then fine... but don’t say no just because you don’t like _him_...” Tony crossed his arms, clearly unswayed by your attempt to reason with him.  Nat rolled her eyes and stepped forwards to whisper something in his ear.  Whatever it was changed his mind instantly, and he allowed Nat to guide you downstairs to the cells.  
“What did you tell him...?” you asked.   
“It doesn’t matter...” she said, no emotion in her tone.  You sighed and focused on the cobblestone stairs. Nat was freezing you out.  Steve was kind, but only because Tony was being so cold.  The others, Clint, Bruce and Auden hadn’t said a word... The air began to cool as the two of you moved deeper into the earth and when you reached the bottom of the stairs, you could almost see the small puff of white mist when you breathed out.

The cells were exactly what you had expected; dark, damp, and smelled heavily of mildew.  The floor was nothing more than dirt, and the outer walls and ceiling were thick, cold stone bricks.  Nat opened a squeaky gate and led you through.  Three steel walls separated the cells, the middle one open and filled with light.  She gestured for you to move forward, and you did, immediately you saw Loki asleep, lying on a rickety bed, chained by his ankle to the wall.  His wrists were bound in chains, and hands surrounded with thick metal, you guessed to stop any magic he could use.  You stepped forwards and knelt beside him.  
“Thor said he’ll be healed in a few days...” Nat said, remaining at the door of the cell.  
“What will happen then...?” you didn’t want to ask... but you had to know...  
“He’ll be interrogated, and then taken to serve out his sentence...” you played with the hem of your clothes.  
“I won’t be able to see him again... will I?”  
“No.” you leaned forwards to rest your forehead on his shoulder.   
“She will.” Loki suddenly said. “I will only tell you what you want to know, if that condition is met.” He growled, glaring at Nat.  
“I really don’t think you’re in any position to negotiate.”  
“I will be, if you want me to talk before the Asgardian’s arrive and take me away.” He said. Wait... what?  
“The bridge is broken.”   
“It has been fixed.”  
“You lie.”  
“I do, but not at this moment in time.  I have seen Frigga.” He said.  
“Do not move from here.” She said, quickly turning and trotting back up the stairs, leaving you alone with Loki.

You guessed he moved to stroke your cheek, or run a hand through your hair, but when he realised there was metal surrounding his hands from all angles; he placed his hand back down.  You took hold of his arm and gently stroked it,  
“They’re going to take you back to Asgard...?” you asked.  
“That is what’s most likely to happen...” he said with a nod.  
“Do you know how long until they arrive?” you said weakly,  
“Not long... a week... maybe less.” He replied.  You sighed and tightened your hold on him slightly.  
“I want to stay down here...” you mumbled.   
“Why would you do that...?” he asked with furrowed brows.  
“I can’t go back up there... Tony is so cruel, and the rest of them aren’t much better...” you said with a shake of the head.   
“This isn’t the best place for you to be... Just be patient, I will talk them into letting me out of this place.” He said with a smile.  
“You don’t have any leverage...”  
“I do.” You stared into his eyes for a moment.  Something in your stomach told you whatever it was, it wasn’t good; and The Avengers would bend to his will if he threatened anything... “Go back upstairs.” He said almost desperately this time.  
“What...? Why?”   
“Hello, little _whore_.” A familiar voice called. Your muscles tensed, and slowly you looked towards the open door.    
“Get out.” Loki snarled at the pudgy man as he stepped forwards.  
“What’s wrong? Afraid you won’t be able to protect your little hussy?” The Teacher asked with a sickening grin.  He stepped further into the room, allowing you to see the thick metal collar around his neck, and his face, still healing from an obvious beating. “This time you won’t have your Super Soldier here to do your dirty work.” He growled.   Loki sat up with a wince and pulled at the chains around his wrists and ankle.  
“Get out of here _swine_ , before I finish what Rogers started.”  The Teacher came to the end of his leash abruptly, but didn’t back out of the room.  
“My chains are longer than yours.  I doubt she can slip passed me when leaving.”  
“And if I blow your brains out right now?” Nat asked as she cocked her gun, pointing it right at his head.  The Teacher scowled deeply,  
“You’re the one who left her down here to connive with _him_.” He said loudly enough for Tony and Steve, who were on the stairs, to hear.  He then retreated to his own cell again.  Nat placed her gun back in the holster.  
“Up.” She ordered Loki while walking to undo the chains around his ankles.    
“Wha-,”  
“You’ll be taken to the medical bay, (Name) will be allowed to come and go as she pleases, and you will tell us _whatever_ we want to know.” Loki smiled wide,  
“Very well.” He said.

***

It took four days for Loki’s wounds to heal enough for him to sit up for long periods of time, all the while you stayed by his side - - mainly because if you went anywhere else, you were shunned.  His side was the only place you felt safe... warm... accepted...  You’d even taken to sleeping beside him to avoid walking back to your room; though you could tell it disgusted the nurses and Avengers...  They saw him as the enemy, as a killer, as your rapist, as your captor... You should have seen him like that too, right? Only you didn’t... For some strange reason, you _couldn’t_.

As the days came to pass, nerves settled in your stomach, uncertain of what would happen in the future.  You tried to ask several times what would happen when Asgard finally did come for him, but every time he managed to change the subject; and by the third day, you resigned to the fate you thought most likely to happen - - him going back to Asgard, leaving you on Earth with no one, no friends, no family, nothing...  So you just enjoyed the fleeting moments with Loki, talking about trivial matters, no great weight on his shoulders, and no expectation for you to stop him from doing anything... It was like the time in your dreams.  Peaceful, secluded... perfect... The only thing that nagged at you was what Loki so obviously wasn’t telling you... There was no way he would willingly give everything away... There was always a plan... there was always an escape route.... he should have been able to plan for this... So why did he just lay back and let SHIELD destroy everything he wanted?  That’s not to say you didn’t like idea of the world returning to normal... but it just didn’t seem like something Loki would do...

You felt Loki’s hand run up your side,  
“Wake up...” he hummed softly.  You groaned and turned over in the small bed to face him.  
“Why...?” you asked, not bothering to open your eyes.  
“Because the damn meeting is today...” you hummed softly and nuzzled into his chest.  
“I know... but why does that involve waking me up...?”  
“I want you with me.” He said. “You’ll keep me calm.”  
“They won’t want me in there...”  
“ _I_ want you in there... It shouldn’t matter what _they_ want...” he said sternly. You sighed softly, “(Name), if I am to spend the rest of my life in a cage, then I want to spend what freedom I have with you by my side.”  He wrapped his arms tightly around you.  
“Okay.” He captured your lips just in time for Thor to walk through the door.  
“Let’s go.” The blond Asgardian said; his voice devoid of any emotion.   Loki smiled wide,  
“We will be ready in a moment.” He said.  
“ _We_...?”  
“(Name) will be joining us.” Thor didn’t respond to that, he only looked at you, sadness and pain in his eyes.   Loki cleared his throat, drawing his brother’s attention back to him before gesturing to the chains keeping him tied to the bed. You could see Thor didn’t want to release him, but eventually he stepped forwards and released Loki’s restraints.  
“Let’s get ready Dove...” he said while sitting up and passing you clothes that you had brought down from your room a few days ago.  You nodded and moved into the bathroom to change.  You could vaguely hear Thor and Loki talking, but the door muffled any of the real details. You could have sworn you heard your name, but you were more than likely just being a little paranoid...  You stepped out of the bathroom to see Loki and Thor finishing their argument.  The raven haired god walked over to you and wrapped a protective arm around your waist. “Let’s go.” he said to Thor.

The golden haired god lead the two of you to the same meeting room Tony had interrogated you in a few days ago.   You took a breath when you saw everyone standing there waiting for you... Loki tightened his hold on you,  
“Are you ready...?” he asked,  
“I should be asking you that...” you replied, leaning a little closer to him as you both entered the meeting room...  This was going to be a long day...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope this was worth the wait guys... if it isn't I'll feel terrible because I've made you wait almost an entire MONTH for this... 
> 
> That’s right, Loki got Elsa’d. (You know the chainy-handy-cuff-things she wore after being captured? Well that’s what I imagined the things on his hands to be.)
> 
> Let me know what you think~ I've been hesitant about this chapter because of reasons I cant exactly pinpoint... So just tell me what you think please~


	29. Meetings and Misgivings

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 29

***  
You took a breath when you saw everyone standing there waiting for you... Loki tightened his hold on you,   
“Are you ready...?” he asked,   
“I should be asking you that...” you replied, leaning a little closer to him as you both entered the meeting room...  This was going to be a long day...  
***

Thor led Loki to a seat, and intended to take you to another one on the other side of the table, but before he could, Loki pulled you down onto his lap.  Both of you received looks from The Avengers, and though they were mainly aimed at Loki, they still hurt...    
“Okay. So where do we start?” Loki asked with a smirk, running his lips across your neck.   
“Where is the Tesseract?”  Tony asked. Loki chuckled with a sigh,   
“Back on this old subject are we?  Do you ever tire of whining for the same thing?” Thor slammed his hand on the table,   
“This is not a time to be playing games.” He growled. Loki eyed him for a moment,   
“He came and claimed it several months ago.” The raven haired man laughed softly, “He wasn’t too happy when I told him you had broken the sceptre, Thor.”   
“Who?” Tony asked.   
“Thanos.” Everyone in the room looked thoroughly confused – except for Thor, who looked very nearly terrified.   
“Tell me this is a joke... Tell me you did not give The Tesseract to _Him_.” Thor almost pleaded.   
“Okay, pause, rewind - - who is Thanos?” Tony asked. Thor sighed,   
“He is of a race known as the Titan Eternals.  He is on a quest to find Infinity Gems... Up until now he has been unsuccessful...”   
“Wait... you’ve known this the entire time, and you didn’t tell anyone?” Steve asked.   
“He has been attempting to find them for many years… I was not certain that he was the one pulling the strings - - it was merely speculation... and because we did not see him come to claim The Tesseract, I thought I was wrong.”   
“Gems... You said _Gems_. That would mean there’s more than just the cube.” Bruce said more to himself than Thor, but it didn’t stop Thor from answering.  
“There are six gems in total… Created several millennia ago at the creation of the universe… They each hold immense power and cannot be held or used by mortal beings…”   
“Great… and how many does Thongos have?” Tony asked.   
“Thanos.” Thor corrected, causing the billionaire to roll his eyes. “I don’t know…” Tony sighed irritably,   
“How many?” he asked Loki,   
“I do not know.” He said.  More arguing ensued, but you were too out of it to pay any real attention. Your mind was thoroughly blown and spinning at the same time.  Six all-powerful ‘gems’ were just floating around space?! What kind of idiot would willingly house one of them on their planet?!   
“What does he plan to do once he has them all?”   
“I don’t know...” Thor replied.    
“What does he plan to do once he has them all?” Tony repeated, only this time he was looking at Loki.   
“How would I know?” he growled.  Again, more arguments broke out… You sighed softly.  It was a vicious circle that just didn’t seem to want to end…

Between all the questions to both Thor and Loki, and giving them enough time to explain, several hours had passed, and you could tell Loki was growing more and more irritated...   
“Maybe because you were working for him?” the billionaire replied. Loki rolled his eyes,   
“I have answered your questions, now I will return to the medical bay with (Name).”   
“You’re nowhere near finished answering our questions.” Nat said. Loki’s jaw clenched; and you could tell he was ready to completely snap.   
“Loki...” you said softly while gently running your hand over his chest. His eyes turned to you, burning with fire at first, but the longer he looked into your eyes, the calmer he became. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer.   
“What else?” he growled at The Avengers.  Nat nodded at Auden, who pressed play on a remote control. A snippet from the cameras in the prison cells began to play, and to say it was familiar would be a complete understatement.   It was you, and Loki.  You were sitting beside him on the floor, Loki laying in the familiar, old, rickety bed.   
****_“Just be patient, I will talk them into letting me out of this place.” The Loki on the screen said.  
“You don’t have any leverage...”   
“I do.”_

The television was shut off a moment later.   
“So, Loki.  What is this leverage?” Nat asked.   
“Nothing, I assure you,” he said with a shrug.  Suddenly the doors slammed open, and a tall, bald, dark skinned man with an eye patch walked through the doors.  Everyone looked confused or uncertain, but that all changed when he walked up to Loki and tore you from Loki’s hold. He held a gun to your head.   
“Fury, what are you doing?” Steve asked, stepping forwards to stop him, however unknown men blocked his way and created a wall of bodies to block their path to you.   
“Tell me where they are.” The man, _Fury_ , asked Loki.    
“Where are what?” he snarled, fire and hatred burning in his eyes.   
“The missiles, the nuclear weapons, the chemical warfare research and samples!” He replied, pressing the gun hard to your temple.   
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Loki replied smoothly.  Fury roughly passed you to one of the other unknown men and removed all but one bullet from a revolver. He spun the barrel and clicked it in, before pointing it right at your head.   
“Let’s play a game.” He pulled the trigger, making you jump and sob all at once - - though no bullet came out. “Tell me what I want to know, otherwise she will die.” He said,   
“You wouldn’t dare.” Loki snarled.  Again Fury shot the gun, and again it didn’t go off... Though that didn’t make the fear in your stomach and tears running down your cheeks stop,   
“Please, stop, I-,” The man holding you still covered your mouth.   
“Where are they?”   
“I don’t know!” Loki growled as he tried to stand; however the guards stopped him.  The other Avengers tried to fight their way towards you, but the guards were keeping them in place. Fury pulled the trigger again, and you flinched.  More tears spilled from your eyes.  You were going to die... You were really going to die... Loki would never tell him what he had planned... and you were going to die because of it... You didn’t even notice the other two trigger pulls, until Fury spoke.   
“Last one.  This time I know I won’t miss. Tell me.  Where are they?” He said in an eerily calm voice.  Loki didn’t respond.  Fury started to squeeze the trigger, and you tightly closed your eyes.   
“Stop, stop, stop!” Loki yelled. “They’re all around the world... with different enemies of SHIELD… They’ve taken them to keep them safe.” He said.   
“Names.” Fury growled. “I need names.”   
“Ivankov, Belova, Gorman, Forson...”   
“Is that all?”   
“Yes...” Fury gave the man holding you a signal, and the next thing you knew, you were on your knees, sobbing softly.  You’d seen death... You’d touched its icy hand before and come back just fine... but this time... this time it was different... A warm hand settled on your shoulder.   
“She has been traumatised enough for one day, don’t you think?” Loki growled before lifting you into his arms.   
“Loki, we are not done here.”   
“ _I_ am. I have told him the only piece of information I had withheld.  There is nothing else I can tell you.” He barked before turning around and heading out the doors.

You weren’t sure who it was, but someone was following closely behind Loki.  You head nuzzled into his chest and closed your eyes; by the heavy sound of the footsteps it was probably Thor...   
“ _We_ didn’t do that to her, _you_ did.” Yes, it was definitely Thor.   
“You could have stopped him.  You allowed him to point the gun at her and shoot without interfering.” Loki growled.   
“If you had just told him what he wanted to know, she wouldn’t have been in danger.”   
“You could have stopped him!”   
“You could have too Loki.  Do not put the blame for this on anyone else but yourself.” Thor warned before the sound of a door locking moved through the still air.

Loki walked through the medical bay, and placed you on the bed you shared.  Everything except for the bed, a few books and old children’s games had been removed from the large room, and it had been reinforced to keep Loki inside. You looked up to him, water still in your eyes,   
“Why...?” you asked in a tiny voice.   
“Why what?” he asked.   
“Why did it take so long for you to answer him...?” you asked. “You hesitated for so long... if it had been one bullet earlier, I would have died... If it had been the first or second bullet, I would have died.” Loki glanced away and fell silent.   
“I was weighing up my options.” He said.    
“Weighing your options?” you sounded outraged, and you definitely were. “Is that all I am to you?”   
“No,”  
“Then there shouldn’t have been _options._ ” You said.    
“(Name)-,”   
“Do you actually love me...?” Loki’s brows pulled together,   
“What? Of cou-,”   
“Then _why_ did you hesitate...? Why was my life worth less than the names of-,” He placed his hands on either side of your face and pressed his lips roughly to yours, effectively silencing you.  An arm wrapped around your middle and held you tightly to his chest before he broke the kiss.   
“I love you... do not ever doubt that...”   
“But-,” before you could finish your sentence - - or your train of thought - - Loki leaned forwards to kiss you once more. You wanted to pull away and slap him in his stupid face, but his hold on you was too tight, and the kiss too pleasant.   
“I love you.” He said again.   
“I…” he kissed your forehead and gently laid your head on his chest. You closed your eyes and wrapped your arms around him.  His presence, his warmth… it was all so settling… and yet you hated it.  You felt love, betrayal and pain all at once, but the longer he held you, the more the pain and betrayal began to fade, though that only made your irritation and anger rise. How could he do this to you so easily?!   
“Shhh…” he hushed softly, rubbing your back. You hadn’t even realised your breathing had began to race, or that you were scowling.   
“I can’t keep doing this…” You mumbled softly.   
“Doing what?”   
“Expecting you to actually care… expecting you to love me.”   
“I do love you.”   
“Then why would you let me die?!”   
“You’re not dead!”   
“I would be if the bullet was in one of the other chambers!”   
“But you’re not dead!”   
“Only because I got lucky!”   
“What? What do you want me to do? Say I’m sorry? I’m sorry! Tell you how terrified I was at the thought of actually losing you?! Well I was!”   
“You were so terrified that you wanted to keep your plans to yourself?!” You yelled back. He turned away while pinching the bridge of his nose, he was lost in thought, and you just wanted to get out.  You stood and moved towards the door.    
“You’re leaving?” he asked,   
“Yes.”   
“You don’t want me?” He growled.   
“I just want some time to think Loki!” you said, trying to open the door, but it was still locked… _obviously_.   
“Then leave!” he snarled.   
“I’m fucking trying!” you sobbed while turning the handle rapidly, but eventually you gave in and slid down the door to sir on the floor. You covered your eyes and tried to hide the tears running down your cheeks. You hated this feeling. The feeling of absolute helplessness and loneliness… You weren’t alone; Loki was with you… but for how long? How long until he tired of you and threw you away? How long until he was locked away forever and you were unable to communicate with him…? It was all too much…

He shifted in the room.  You couldn’t see him, but you could feel his presence in front of you, and his hand settle on your arms.   
“(Name), stop crying…” he said softly.  He gave you a moment to stop your tears before he pulled your arms away. Water still logged your eyes, and the moment your eyes came to rest on him, they began to fall again. He reached forwards and wiped the tears away, “Please…” he said while slowly pulling you to his chest.  You leaned into his warmth and closed your eyes,   
“Sometimes I think this could work… but then there are times when we seem to poison each other… We hold to tight, and end up harming the other…” you mumbled softly.  He rested his cheek on the top of your head,   
“I know…” he lifted you into his arms and carried you back to the bed and laid you on it before joining you, his fingers twirling your hair softly.   
“Be glad, if you hadn’t kissed me, I would have slapped you in your stupid face.” You said with a weak smile.   
“My stupid face?” he asked with a chuckle.   
“Yes.” You replied with a sightly wider smile.  He leaned forwards and kissed your forehead,   
“I do love you…”   
“I know…”   
“And you know I do not want you to die…” he said. You nodded,   
“I know…”   
“Then why do you look so sad…?” he said while gingerly trailing his fingertips over your trembling lower lip.   
“I don’t know…”   
“Tell me." he said sternly.   
“Because I don’t know any person who loves the way you do…” You mumbled. “You’re so damn confusing, and make me feel _everything_ at once… I just… I can’t keep up…” he pecked your lips softly.   
“Do you love me?” he asked.  Your mouth fell open slightly,   
“What?”   
“Do _you_ love _me_?”   
“Yes…” he ran a hand over your cheek.   
“Well you know what they say about love, don’t you?”   
“That it doesn’t make sense…?” you asked, causing him to smile wide.   
“Exactly…” he pulled you softly to lie on his chest and he kissed your head, “Very little has made sense in my life (Name)… you included…”   
“I don’t make sense?” you asked, glancing up to him.   
“No… you are the single most confusing thing in my life… I want you, but I shouldn’t… I have you at the expense of everything I have worked for… but… I do not blame you…”   
“But you _are_ angry…?” you asked softly.   
“Not at you…” he said quickly. You took a breath and closed your eyes.   
“Do you have something else up your sleeve…? Or were the weapons the last trick you had…?” you asked softly.   
“It was the only thing I could do from here…” He said. “They have blocked my magic, and I cannot communicate with anyone…”   
“They blocked your magic?” you asked.   
“Thor has never been skilled with magic, but he has obviously practised a few spells time and time again.”  You raised a brow, not entirely understanding him. “A simple spell done perfectly will do more than a complicated and fancy spell done well.” He said.   
“So what do you plan to do?”   
“I do not know yet…” he mumbled with a sigh.

***

Steve came knocking the next morning, though it didn’t surprise you much that it was Steve… Loki probably wouldn’t have moved if Thor came to get the two of you.  He took both of you to the same room as the day before, but this time Fury was already waiting for the two of you.  Immediately Loki wrapped an arm around you and pulled you to his side tightly.   
“Is there a reason _he_ is here?” the raven-haired god snarled.   
“You seem to forget the I am the head of SHIELD…” Fury said. Loki clenched his jaw,   
“That doesn’t answer my question.”   
“He’s here because he’s the director of SHIELD, Loki. That is all.” Thor cut in. Loki sighed and tightened his hold on you slightly,   
“Why are _we_ here?” he asked,   
“Because we need to know if and when Asgard is coming.”  
“And you think they would have told me when they were planning to come and capture me?” he snorted, “Surely you can’t be that thick.”   
“Surely you must realise that we won’t keep you where you are in the hopes of Asgard turning up and taking you away.” Fury snapped.   
“You intend to put me back in jail?” Loki asked.   
“We have seen no signs of Asgard, they haven’t even tried to contact Thor, so yes.  We are going to put you in jail until they turn up.  _If_ they turn up.” Tony said.  Loki took a moment to think,   
“What will happen to (Name)?” he asked.   
“That is her decision.” Nat said, meeting your gaze.   
“You all hate me…” they opened their mouths, probably an attempt to dispute your statement, but before they could speak, you continued, “I have no idea where my friends are, and I do not know if any of my family members survived-,”   
“Wait, yes we do…” Bruce said suddenly.  You raised a brow,   
“What?”   
“Thor gave Bucky names to trace… they were your family and friends, weren’t they?” the scientist said.  Your mouth fell open slightly,   
“Y-You found them?” you asked.  Bruce waved you closer.  At first Loki didn’t want to release you, but after a comforting squeeze to his hand, and a quick peck to the lips, he allowed you to step forwards.

Bruce lifted up a bulky looking laptop and flipped it open. The computer screen flashed for a moment before turning on, and the names of your friends and family appeared on the screen.  Almost all the names were crossed out, but there were a few that had a question mark beside them.   
“See…” you said softly. “They’re either dead or missing…” Bruce sighed,   
“I’m sorry… if I had remembered I wouldn’t have brought it up at this time…” you shook your head,   
“No, it’s good that I know…” your voice was wavering. You may not have been too close to your family, but you were certainly not a heartless monster. Pain and sadness welled in your chest, and you made your way back over to Loki, who immediately wrapped his arms around you.   
“She’s lost more than enough people already…” he said. “Are you going to take more away from her now?”   
“ _You_ are the only one who has taken things from her-,”   
“Until now.” Loki cut Steve off.  Nat sighed,   
“One more day…” she said, all of The Avengers, and Fury, turned to her - - except for Tony.   
“One more day.” The billionaire repeated, much to the dismay of everyone.   
“No, you can’t allow you to allow him to continue to poison her mind.” Thor growled, thunder cracking in the distance.   
“Thor, calm down.” Tony said. “One more night wont do any more damage to her.”   
“She isn’t damaged.” Loki said, his voice low and warning.   
“After everything you’ve done to her, how can you say such a thing?” the Asgardian Prince said,   
“You’re just upset because you liked what I forced you to do to her.” Loki growled. You clutched his shirt tightly,   
“Stop it…” you said softly. He ran a hand through your hair before kissing your temple.   
“Calm down big boy…” you heard Tony whisper to Thor as the thunder continued to rumble, and the lightning continued to strike. You heard the heels of Nat’s boots come forward.   
“(Name), can I speak with you…?” she asked, “ _alone_.” She added. Once again Loki’s arms tightened around you, but you just managed to pry them away from your body.  
“I’ll be fine.” You said. Loki reluctantly released you, and you walked over to Nat.

She pulled two seats to face each other on the other side of the table, she took one and you took the other.   
“Look, sweetie… We saw what happened after the meeting yesterday.” Nat said.   
“What? How?!” you said loudly, drawing Loki’s gaze to the two of you.   
“There’s a camera in the room (Name)… we see how he acts around you, we see how he bends to your will, while also manipulating you to fit his own needs.”   
“I…”   
“You wont be able to see it… You’re too close to the situation and can’t detach yourself to look at it objectively.”  
“And you can?  You _hate_ Loki… so how can you be objective?” you asked, “and another thing. How has he manipulated me?  I know you may not believe me, but I am _not_ stupid. I know what I’m doing, and I know when he’s being and absolute _prick_ …” you trailed off.   
“(Name), we’re just trying to look out for you…” She said, causing you to sigh.   
“I know…”   
“Then you know why you have to be careful around him… why we can’t trust him…”   
“I do…” she hesitated before speaking again,   
“We have a proposal for you (Name)…”   
“What kind of proposal?”   
“We will allow you to continue seeing Loki, if you make periodical reports to us about _anything_ he tells you…”   
“I-,”   
“Please, (Name).  It will allow you to continue seeing him, and for us to gain any information he left out.”  
“You want me to spy on Loki?”  
“(Name), I would appreciate it if you would sit down and consider what we have to say-,”   
“-and I would appreciate it if all of you didn’t sit back watching us!” you growled.   
“He is a monster, (Name).” Thor said, stepping into the conversation, earning a glare from Nat.   
“No… He isn’t… Not to me…” Thor shook his head and walked away. You sighed and turned back to Loki. He held out a hand to you. You stood and you took it. The more you lingered on it, the more you thought that maybe they were right… Maybe he was their monster - - a wolf - - and they saw you as his sheep… But to you he wasn’t a monster… because a monster isn’t a monster when you love them, and you truly did love Loki…

Thunder cracked high in the sky and the clouds began to turn dark, dragging you out of your thoughts.   
“What the hell Thor?” Tony said. “I thought you were fine now.”   
“This is not me...” Thor replied, his eyes firmly on the sky.   
“What is i-,” before you could finish your sentence, a large, bright cylinder of light stuck the Earth right outside of the meeting room. Loki wrapped a protective arm around you, and shielded your eyes from the harmful rays. A few moments later, Loki’s hand dropped, and the light disappeared.  Five figures stepped out, three male warriors and two women, one looked regal and graceful, the other was slightly younger and dressed in armour similar to the men, only more feminine.  The French doors opened, and the five people stepped through,   
“Loki Laufeyson.” The warrior woman said. “You are under arrest, under the name of Odin, the Allfather.” Her voice was stern and unwavering. Great… just great… What else could go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And were almost at the end of the third arc. Next chapter will the the last chapter in this arc, and I will start the fourth almost straight away ^^ Which means, I'm nearly done! Probably 10-12 more chapters, and I will be finished this story! I can see the finish line reader-chans!! :D 
> 
> Tell me what you think please~ This chapter turned out longer than I thought it would be, so it took an extra day to come out, sorry~


	30. Decisions...

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 30

***  
The French doors opened, and the five people stepped through,   
“Loki Laufeyson.” The warrior woman said. “You are under arrest, under the name of Odin, the Allfather.” Her voice was stern and unwavering.  Great… just great… What else could go wrong?  
***

A wide smile cracked over Loki’s face.   
“I did not expect such an entourage-,” his smile almost instantly dropped when the noble-looking woman stepped into the room.  You guessed he hadn’t seen her when they arrived, but still, for him to have such a reaction... Who was she?  Thor quickly stepped forwards to greet… his friends…? They looked like they knew him from the smiles on their faces and the happy laughter and words… The Asgardian prince then stepped over to the noble woman.   
“Mother…” Thor said as the woman trailed her hand over his cheek.  Ah... that makes sense... That was why Loki was acting in such a way... Thor pulled her into a tight embrace, and she wrapped her arms around his broad chest. Loki pulled you tighter to his side.  You glanced up at him; anger irritation, but most of all jealousy burned in his eyes.  Your hand moved to gently stroke his chest, trying to soothe him a little.   
“Loki…” a calm, soft and feminine voice called.  Loki glanced away from you and towards his mother.   
“Frigga.” He said coldly. The woman sighed softly,   
“You know why we’re here…”   
“Of course… If you warning wasn’t enough to allude me to your intentions, Sif’s statement before was.” He said dryly. Your grip on him tightened slightly when you was Frigga’s eyes sadden,   
“Play nice…” you said softly.   
“You must be (Name).” your eyes widened slightly and you turned to the noble woman,   
“Y-Yes...” you said.  How did she-,   
“She’s been watching us.” Loki said.  Your mouth fell open slightly.  Everyone seemed to be doing that of late...  Did no one know not to invade someone else’s privacy anymore?! Sif sighed,   
“Queen Frigga, we cannot dawdle...” she said.  The queen’s eyes lingered on you and Loki for a moment.   
“What do you intend to do?” she asked you.   
“A-About what...?”   
“Will you come with us, or remain here?” Immediately the room broke out into arguments,   
“You cannot seriously be giving her that option.” Tony said.   
“Why not?” Frigga asked.   
“B-Because...” the billionaire stuttered; for once he was actually lost for words,   
“Because?” the queen urged, “because she is human? Because of her history with Loki? Or is it for another reason?”   
“D, all of the above.” Tony said, earning a warning glance from Thor.   
“Regardless of what you think, you cannot stop her from coming if that is what she wishes.”   
“You may want to rethink your stance on this.” Fury said. “Earth may be in shambles at the moment, but regardless, I do not think the leaders would take too kindly to you kidnapping one of their people...”   
“Are you threatening Asgard?” she asked coolly, her brow rose slightly.   
“Not at all.” He said. “I just want you to make sure you know what you are doing...”   
“It’s not kidnapping if I willingly go with them.” You piped up, earning a glare from Fury.   
“(Name), you should consider staying...” Loki whispered softly.   
“What?” you asked, quickly turning back to him.   
“Loki,” Frigga said, drawing both of your gazes to her. “Let me speak with her for a moment.” He squeezed you tightly for a moment before releasing you.  Instantly the warriors stepped forwards and cuffed Loki.  Frigga loosely wrapped an arm around your waist and led you from the room.  You glanced over your shoulder to Loki until the cool, stone walls blocked your view.

Frigga led you to the old, worn outdoor sitting area.   
“I know you must feel violated after being watched so closely by so many people...” she said softly.  You chuckled nervously,   
“A little...” you mumbled.  She glanced out to the bright afternoon sky,   
“Midgard is beautiful... it has been many years since I have had a need to come here...”   
“Why _did_ you come here...?” she glanced back over to you,   
“Because Loki would not fight me.  If it was just Sif and The Warriors Three, Loki would have fought against their attempt to return him to Asgard...” you nodded.  That made sense... though you doubted Loki would have won that fight.  “I really did mean what I said to you (Name).  If you wish it, I will bring you to Asgard...” she said. You bit your lower lip,   
“Loki wants me to stay here...”   
“He just wants you to make sure you think about all your options...” You hummed softly,   
“What would it be like on Asgard...?” you asked softly.  Frigga took a seat on a long daybed, patting the space beside her.  You took a seat next to her, fearing your spinning mind and weakening knees may cause you to collapse.  It was all happening too fast...    
“I won’t lie to you (Name), it will not be easy...” she said. “Loki is a fugitive, and though he is our son, my husband will not take his offences lightly...  He _will_ go to prison.”   
“He would end up in prison if he stayed here...” you said softly. She nodded,   
“I know...” she said before continuing, “You will not be accepted by everyone, and you will have only a few people who will even acknowledge your love for Loki and your presence in the palace... The only reason I am asking you to consider this is because of Loki... he has changed, and I know you can see it... even if it isn’t all the time...” she sighed. “If you are taken away from him, I know he will pull away and he will not let anyone in... not even me...” her hand moved to cover yours. “The only reason my words reach him now is because he has you... he has someone to keep him sane, to keep him content, and to give and receive his love...” she said. “You keep his heart open and his feet on the ground...” you glanced down.   
“Do you know what he’s done...”   
“Yes.”   
“ _Everything_ he has done?”   
“Not in great detail... but yes...”   
“And you would still want me to go with him?”   
“He is in so many ways a monster... but you have seen his kindness.  You have seen his warmth and softness, his scars and his insecurities...” You wrapped your arms around your middle.  “You love him, do you not?”   
“I do...” you whispered. “But I don’t at the same time...” she gently draped an arm around your shoulders, and you fell against her chest.  She soothingly stroked your hair,   
“Make your decision on what _you_ want.  Not what I, Loki, or the Avengers think is best for you; it is _your_ decision.”  You nodded,   
“When will you be leaving...?” you asked softly.   
“Once Sif finishes explaining the situation on Asgard to all of them...” she said, glancing over to the room.   Loki was being led by two of the men; a large man with unruly red hair and beard, and the other, slimmer with perfectly styled blond hair and clothes.    
“Will I be able to come back if I change my mind?” you asked.   
“If I say no?” your eyes moved back to her,   
“Then it would mean the decision I have to make will affect the rest of my life...”   
“That is true... but if you come, and then have a change of heart, I will make sure you are able to return...” she said. “Humans do not live as long as we do, and I cannot ask you to risk your entire life to make Loki happy if you become miserable.” A weak smile pulled at your lips.   
“Thank you...” she caressed your cheek softly.   
“Mother.” Thor called, as the Asgardians gathered at the same place they had emerged from.  She offered you a smile before standing and walking over to them.  You took a deep breath to steady your heart and body before following behind. 

What should you do? Stay behind and let Loki wallow away in prison, knowing that he will block everyone else out? Or follow the man you loved; the man who psychologically and physically tortured you for what felt like an eternity?  Should you stay behind and try to start again? There were people who had far less than you who would have to do that exact thing... But really what did you have? You had no friends or family nearby, and your new ‘friends’ all turned their backs on you because of Loki... But if Loki was gone, would they accept you? Would you _want_ to be accepted by them? If the only way to gain their friendship was to turn your back on the man you loved, were they really your friends?   
“(Name)...” someone - - maybe Nat - - said, and you glanced up. Everyone was staring at you intently,   
“What do you choose?” Frigga asked.  Ideally you would like a day, or two - - if not a week - - to think it all over.  Sure, you could come back if things didn’t work out, but that didn’t mean everyone would accept you if you came back... “(Name)...” she said. Your body began to walk forwards on its own, your mind still debating the choices.  Your arms wrapped around something warm and familiar.   
“(Name)...?” Loki asked softly. You glanced up at him; his arms unable to embrace you due to the chains.   
“I want to go with you...” you said softly.   
“(Name)-,”   
“No, shut up” You cut Loki off.  Wait... where did that come from?  A small smile pulled at your lips when his mouth fell open. “I’m going to go with you, and there’s nothing you can say or do about it,” You said sternly.   
“You have a life here, you could have a normal life here; your friends and -,”  
“My chance for a normal life disappeared the moment I entered your bed... and besides... most of my friends and family are dead, or missing...”   
“Are you sure?”  Thor asked.  You turned to the older brother,   
“Yes...”

The others began to chatter amongst themselves and argue against your decision, but you paid them no mind.   
“Are you sure...?” Loki asked softly as the Asgardians began to gather closer.    
“No... But at the moment, _you_ are what I want... I don’t feel like I belong here anymore...” He nodded as the two of you stepped a little closer to the others.  The group formed a tight circle, just managing to fit within the border of an intricate design burned into the ground. You glanced back to the Avengers for a moment, and smiled weakly at them.  To your surprise they smiled back, albeit some of their smiles looked like they were forced...    
 “Hold onto me.” Loki whispered. Your brows furrowed,   
“Wh-,”   
“Heimdall!” Thor yelled to the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this chapter too fast...? When I was reading it, it felt really fast... QAQ Tell me please?!?!!!!!!!! 
> 
> This is the end of the third arc!!! It’s called “Taken” (I am absolutely useless at coming up with intriguing names!!! OAO) And it means, guess what? I’ll be starting the last arc of the story! Now, unlike the other times, I’m going to tell you the name of the Arc. It’s called “Bound”.  
> So, all up, we have: “The Beginnings”, “Jealousy”, “Taken”, and “Bound”. :D


	31. Asgard

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 31  
***  
You glanced back to the Avengers for a moment, and smiled weakly at them.  To your surprise they smiled back, albeit some of their smiles looked like they were forced...    
 “Hold onto me.” Loki whispered. Your brows furrowed,   
“Wh-,”   
“Heimdall!” Thor yelled to the sky.  
***

It felt like you were floating... Wait, no... It felt like a giant fan was blowing in your face, threatening to rip your skin from the rest of body... Or maybe it was a weird mix of both. However, when your feet finally touched solid ground again, all those feelings were gone, replaced with dizzy weakness and nausea. You felt your knees buckle and fall from under you - - but you didn't feel the hard ground hit your body; instead a strong arm snaked around your waist and held you up.   
"Breath, just breathe... it will pass..." Loki said. You nodded, taking a few deep breaths, though it did little to quell the nausea.  You just had to push it back; you just had to ignore it.  He gently rubbed your shoulder as the group walked through the large dome shaped room.   
"Your Highness." An extremely tall man, dressed all in gold said to Thor, "Your Majesty." He said to Frigga, before his golden eyes flickered to you and Loki. He said nothing, making him seem all the more terrifying. Loki stroked your hair, and kept you moving forwards.

You stepped out of the dome-shaped building, and onto an almost see through bridge, that looked more like a rainbow than an actual bridge. You glanced down as you walked.  The water beneath the bridge was just visible, though you didn’t need to see it to know it was there, you could smell and hear the waves crashing.   You kept your eyes firmly locked downwards, needing to make sure no sudden cracks emerged on the glass surface, or that the bridge didn't suddenly decide to disappear.  
"It's not going to break... It takes a great force to break the bridge." Loki whispered.   
"Uh-huh." You said, still looking at the bridge. His hand lifted to tilt your head upwards, and your gaze moved to the land before you.  Asgard was... breathtaking... It was just past dusk, the last remnants of the sun were still poking out from behind the far off horizon, casting a bright orange glow on everything it touched - - the crystal clear water, the homes in the town, and the large golden palace at the centre of it all. Between the setting sun and the rising moon there was an array of colours in the sky; red, yellow, pink, purple, blue... and slowly growing blinks of white from the distant stars... Loki ran a hand through your hair.   
"We have to keep moving," he said. You turned back to him and nodded with a smile.

You walked through the main street of the town a few people cowered at the sight of Loki while others rejoiced at the return of Thor. The houses almost looked like something out of the Hunger Games ... Worn and weathered wooden houses filled the streets that, in some cases, looked like they were about to fall over. The people were in old fashioned looking clothes, none of which were bright in colour, mainly beige, brown, black and white, which only served to heighten the glumness... The closer you drew to the palace, the better the homes and happier the people seemed. More colours, stone, stable homes, and happier, less fearful crowds --though that didn't mean they welcomed Loki, or you for that matter... Loki wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you close, his other hand having to settle on your hip because of the chains around his wrists. You passed through an open gate and the gardens at the foot of the palace. Hedges bordered fountains and small green fields of grass, speckled with brightly coloured flowers. There were several gardeners out maintaining the landscape, as a few lords and ladies were walking the paths, and, of course, guards met up beside the group to escort you all into the palace.  Then you came to a great staircase that led to the golden palace. It was so high that you honestly thought you had to be an athlete just to make it to the top... and you certainly weren't. However everyone continued to walk, you sighed and did the same. 

When you finally reached the top, your calves were burning, and chest slightly tight. It took a moment to calm your breathing, but when you finally did, and were able to take in the palace, you were left breathless - - which kind of counterproductive really.  You'd seen images of palaces before, but nothing quite readied you for the real thing... The ceilings had to be at least nine meters high, with ornate detailing in gold on it. There were large marble columns holding the various levels of the palace up, and seemed almost impossibly big. The floors were tiled and clicked under the heels of everyone's footsteps as they passed the various potted plants, detailed tapestries, and stone seats. There were a few inner walls and halls that led to the inner rooms of the palace, but there were no outer walls, allowing everyone to see out over the town and the setting sun over the water.  You hadn’t even realised you had stopped until Loki gently pulled at your arm to keep you moving.  The four warriors split off from the group, leaving you with Loki, Thor and Frigga to head up a long staircase.   
“Now, he is in a bad mood... but you would have already guessed that…" Frigga said as she glanced back at Loki.   
“Yes, I did... " he mumbled. You glanced between them,   
“Who-,” as soon as you asked, the answer hit you, "Your father?"   
“He is not my father." Loki said.  
“ _Loki_.” Frigga warned.   
“He _isn't_ ,” he mumbled. You gently squeezed his arm, and he glanced over to you,   
“Stop it..." You said softly.   
“ _He isn't_." he insisted, causing both you and Frigga to sigh. You reached the top of the stairs - - why were there so many stairs in this damn place you didn’t know - - and the large double doors opened, revealing the grand throne room.   

Again, the room had high ceilings, and almost seemed to be completely made of gold - - or something of the sort...  and a bright golden throne sat atop yet _more_ stairs.  There were a few guards standing around the edge of the room, and, one man – you guessed Odin – was sitting atop the throne, two black ravens sitting on an inverted arch behind the throne.  The four of you stepped into the room. You felt and saw Loki pause for half a second to take a breath.   
“It'll be okay,” you said softly. He hummed an acknowledgment and walked into the room, his arm once again found its way around your waist.  Thor trotted straight up the stairs to greet the grey haired king, Frigga following behind.  He smiled wide, embracing Thor for a moment, before turning to his wife and stroking her cheek gently.  When Odin turned his gaze to Loki, his smile disappeared and you could see the ‘king’ in him come out. You shrunk back a little, but Loki did not, he stood tall and strong, even though you could sense his slight unease under the gaze of Odin.   
“And so the Prodigal Son returns...” the king spat bitterly.   
“Better to be prodigal than an old king who sits atop a throne with a stick up his arse.” Odin's gaze turned vile. You sighed softly. Why did he do this all the time?    
“Watch your tongue boy.” He growled. "Be glad I did not decide to just lock you up and throw away the key the moment you stepped foot on Asgard." Loki raised a brow,   
“So you plan to do something else with me then?" he asked.   
“No, you will be locked away." He said. “Though as king, I am supposed to hear your plea for mercy." He said. Loki rolled his eyes,   
“I would not beg for _anything_ from _you_." He growled.   
“Even if it meant your little harlot was sent to prison with you?" Frigga immediately turned to Odin,   
“Dear, we did not discuss this...” she said. He didn't respond, staying silent as he stared at Loki, waiting for a response.  The green eyes prince turned to you slightly, and your gaze met his. A few silent moments passed between the two of you before he sighed and turned back to Odin. He opened his mouth to speak, but you gently squeezed his arm,   
“I don't care where I am, as long as I'm with you...” You said softly. He clenched his jaw and nodded.   
“I will not beg for _anything_ from _you_." He said once more. Odin's eyes narrowed,   
“Then, Loki Laufeyson, for your crimes against Midgard, and Asgard, you will spend the rest of your days in the dungeon." He said.   
“Dear-,"   
“No." he cut Frigga off before continuing. “The only reason you and your little harlot are alive is because of Frigga, and you will never see her again." He said.  You could see that Loki looked visibly hurt by that...  
“That's not fair...” Your voice came out small and slightly shaky. Odin, for the first time, actually looked at you, and it was absolutely terrifying.  His dark, intense gaze sent a cold shiver down your spine.   
"Do you have something to say?" he asked. You took a nervous breath,   
"What you're doing, denying Loki the ability to ever see his mother again... It isn't fair." You said a little stronger than before.    
“Let me tell you what _isn’t fair_ ,” the condescension in his tone was unmistakable. “What isn’t _fair_ is being forced to relocate over a third of the universe because of what _he_ did.” He spat, glaring at Loki.   
“Because of what I did?” Loki asked,   
“Thanos attempted to get his hands on another one of the gems, and he tried to come here to take the Infinity Gauntlet.” He said. “Thousands of our own people had to be moved to Vanaheim for their own protection.”    
“Wait... when did this all happen? You said the bridge had only just been fixed…” he said to Frigga.   
“She was attempting to spare your supposed feelings.”  Loki raised a brow at his father,   
“What do you mean?”   
“Did the idea of Asgard coming to battle you not make you happy? Did you not think it was a time to truly ‘prove’ yourself?” he asked.  “I chose to leave you be, because I knew that regardless of what you did to the humans, we would be able to step in and stop you at any time; a convenience we didn’t have with Thanos.”    
"Wait... You could have come to Earth at any time? Hundreds of thousands, if not _millions_ , of people died! You could have prevented it!" you said... why did you say that? Odin glared at you once more.   
"It's rather hypocritical of you to say, don't you think?" The Allfather said, smugness colouring his tone.  “You willingly give yourself to my son; you give yourself to the _cause_ of all the death on Earth.” You literally bit your tongue before you looked away. "My decision was not made lightly. The fate of one world weighed against the destruction of the entire universe? What would you have chosen?" you remained silent.  "I will never know how young girls allow themselves to be corrupted by him." Odin sighed under his breath.   
"Well the sex certainly helps." You snapped - - which after you finished, you really regretted... Thor face palmed and Frigga sighed, out of the comer of your eye you saw Loki smirk, and of course Odin scowled.   
“I was merely speculating your whorish nature, however now I see my thoughts were right.” He growled.  You grit your teeth,   
“I know you’re lying because Frigga said she knew what had happened... if she knows then I suppose you must, unless you’re too much of a narcissistic asshole to listen to anyone else, because, _clearly_ you like the sound of your own voice.” You said in one big lump, leaving you a little breathless and slightly shocked you had managed to say it all without needing a break to find a word.  You could see that the king was less than pleased.    
“Stockholm syndrome then?” He suggested. Was it Stockholm syndrome? He had been abusive... He had hurt you so badly... but... You lowered your gaze and tried to wipe the tears away as they formed in your eyes.    
“Enough.” Loki said. “You have given me my sentence, there is no need to torment (Name).” he growled at Odin.  But that was why... You hesitantly glanced over to Loki; he was glaring at Odin, anger roaring in his eyes. That was why you stayed with him... that was why you loved him... Because he could change, no, he _had_ changed.  He actually did care...  You may have done things out of fear at first, but now you actually did care for him... He gently caressed your cheek.    
“Very well then,” Odin said.  He continued to speak, but it was almost like you were wearing earmuffs.  Loki had removed his hand from your cheek, and had turned back to Odin, so you were able to lightly shake your head and rub your temple without drawing too much attention; however it didn’t do any good...  The nausea reared its ugly head again.  You felt dizzy, and all the voices in the room sounded far away. You could see them; unless they moved, then they became blurred ... but you had to listen... you had to... to... You felt the strength drain out of your body and you fell against Loki.   
"(Name)...” he said, concern filling his voice. You tried to look up, but your eyes closed, no matter how hard you tried to keep them open.   
"I... I don't feel well ...” you managed to stutter before being completely consumed by darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah, guys, I am so sorry it took so long to update this. School started again, and I was swamped, and... yeah... I tried several times through the past month to finish this, but I’ve only just gotten around to it. Sorry again!!!! 
> 
> Also, sorry if it isn't that well edited. I should go through it at least once or twice more... But I just can't be bothered... QAQ Tell me if there is anything drastically wrong with the chapter, and I will go back through and fix it. I promise~ 
> 
> Please review and tell me what you think~!!! ^^ 
> 
> (also, a side note, this 'arc' will have roughly 6-8 chapters, including this one. It could be a little more, it could be a little less, Just so you all know~)


	32. The Deal

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 32  
***  
"(Name)...” he said, concern filling his voice. You tried to look up, but your eyes closed, no matter how hard you tried to keep them open.   
"I... I don't feel well ...” you managed to stutter before being completely consumed by darkness.  
***

*Thor’s POV*

Loki just managed to catch the (h/c) haired woman before she hit the ground.  Odin waved his hand, and three guards hauled the human girl to her feet and carried her out of the room.  Loki moved to follow, but was stopped by another two guards.   
“Where are you taking her?” the disgraced prince growled to the king.    
“To the healers.” He said simply whilst standing. “And you will be going to your cell.” He said as the guards pulled Loki away.  Everyone in the room could see how much Loki wanted to fight, but he knew it wouldn’t do any good; Odin could be unmeasurably pigheaded when he wanted to be... Once Loki was gone, the king began descending the stairs.   
“Father...” Thor started, “What do you intend to do with (Name)?” he asked.  The king stopped and glanced to his eldest son.   
“Heal her, then send her home.” He said. “I would send her back now, but the last thing we need is an Asgardian illness consuming all of Midgard.” He then turned and exited through a door leading to his study.  The crowned prince turned to his mother; disappointment and sadness on her face. They could both sense the storm that was approaching; they always could...  Odin and Loki had clashed in the past, but it never ended like this... Frigga was usually always able to calm the king down before something like this happened... but not this time... She could only be thankful that her younger son still had his head...

And so, everyone was forced to stand by and watch as Loki dove deeper and deeper into anger and depression. He tore everything in his cell to shreds, used his powers against the others in the dungeon, causing numerous injuries and near-deaths, and had unintentionally caused harm to himself in the process.  Odin refused to acknowledge him at all, and very nearly managed to escape any mention of (Name), except of course when the healers told him there was nothing new to report on her condition.    The more time that passed, the more worried Thor became for both of their lives and safety.  (Name)’s condition hadn’t changed, she remained unconscious almost the entire time, and when she was awake, she was barely lucid enough to string together more than a sentence or two; and Loki... well Loki was still consumed by his sadness...

***

Thor sighed as he entered the throne room.  The prince and his mother had plotted together to catch Odin off guard, and to try, possibly uselessly, to convince him to give Loki a chance.   Thor bowed when he reached the bottom of the stairs leading to the throne.  Odin raised a surprised brow,   
“My son.” He said. “Is there a reason you have come?” he asked. Thor opened his mouth to speak, but in that moment Frigga stepped into the room via the door to the left of the throne.  The blond haired prince breathed a sigh of relief, not exactly sure how to start everything off... or how to finish... or how to convince him... or how to control him... really Thor was there for moral support while Frigga did the talking...   
“Darling.” The queen said.   
“Yes?” Odin answered, glancing over to her wife.  She took a steadying breath.  Thor was slightly relieved to know that even she was nervous.   
“We’ve come to talk to you about Loki and (Name).” she said. Odin raised a brow and glanced back to Thor.   
“ _We_?” he asked. The prince smiled nervously,   
“Yes... _we_.” He said.   
“I thought you would be happy having Loki in prison.” The king said.   
“Not at the cost of his health... or (Name)’s...” Thor replied. Odin sighed and rubbed his temple.   
“So you expect me to forgive everything he has done? The betrayals and wars he has caused?”   
“No,” Frigga said. “Just allow him to walk about the palace... allow him to be a part of his family once more.”   
“He has stated time and time again that he does not wish to be a part of our family.” Odin retorted.   
“He is stubborn... a trait that all of the men in this family get from you.” She teased, causing Odin to grumble something under his breath.   
“I cannot put all those in the palace - - and Asgard for that matter - - into harm’s way just because Loki is sulking...” he said. “If he is allowed to walk freely, then what is to stop him from causing more trouble?” he asked.   
“Tether him to something.” Frigga answered. Odin raised a brow,   
“While I do like the idea of tying him to a boulder with an unbreakable chain, I don’t think he would take too kindly to it.” He said with a smirk.   
“With _magic_ dear,” the queen sighed.  The great king took a moment to think it over.   
“What would be his anchor?” he asked after what felt like an eternity of silence.  Frigga glanced to Thor, who nodded.   
“(Name).” the queen replied. Odin rolled his eyes, earning a less than pleased glare from his queen.   
“She is not only a weak human, but also sickly. He could kill her and break free of his anchor in less than an hour.” Frigga sighed,   
“You really think our son is completely incapable of loving someone other than himself, don’t you?” she asked.   
“His record is against him.” Frigga pursed her lips, unhappy with his answer.   
“Father-,”   
“Where do you stand on this then?” Odin cut Thor off.   
“I do not think Loki would do anything to jeopardise (Name)’s wellbeing... He loves her...”  
“He has professed to ‘love’ many women over the years-,”  
“Father, that is true... but there is something different with (Name)... When I took her away to be kept safe with The Avengers, Loki came for her, knowing that we not only had the home-field advantage, but also the leverage of her over him.”  
“What are you saying?”   
“That I think Loki knew perfectly well what would happen if he tried to retrieve (Name), even with all of his weapons and cyborgs, he knew what could happen...” he took a deep breath and released all of the irritation and strain from his voice. “I’m saying that he gave up the rule of Midgard to get her back...”  Odin took a moment to take in Thor’s words,   
“Very well then...” he said, albeit reluctantly.

***

Thor moved down the cold, damp stairs that led to the dungeons. There were a few torches every few metres, however they didn’t offer nearly enough light to scare away every shadow in the curving, stone stairway.  In the distance he heard shouting, probably more of Loki’s mischief, as well as the guards trying to calm everyone down.  He took one last breath before stepping into the dungeon.  He was blinded for a moment from the surprisingly large amount of light the underground room offered.  However, his vision cleared quickly.  Prison cells were spread out through the flat level, yellow tinged magic created the glass-like walls of the cells, which stopped the prisoners from physically interacting with anyone outside their cell - - though they could still yell and taunt each other.

He walked passed the cells, earning a few irritable growls and hateful comments from the prisoners.  Originally Loki was in the first cell at the bottom of the stairs, but he had been moved as far away from the other prisoners as he could be after nearly managing to talk one of them into suicide.  Though, even with the change in location, he still wound up causing trouble.  Thor sighed just at the thought. 

The last cell at the end of the room was Loki’s.  Four guards stood on each corner, magical charms hanging from their necks just in case he tried any mind games.  Thor glanced over his dishevelled brother; his hair was a mess, his clothes were torn, and his bright green eyes were focused off in the distance, not on Thor at all even though he was standing right in his line of sight.  Why had his mother left him to deal with Loki...? Why didn’t she come and settle him...? She was always good at that... He sighed. It was probably some attempt at ‘brotherly bonding’, but he already knew it wouldn’t work...   
“Are you happy?” Loki spat. “Now you can once again try to ‘save’ her.” Thor sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Perhaps the quick method would be best – like pulling off a band aid.   
“Calm down and you can come and see her.” He said sternly.  Loki glared at his older brother for a moment before silently rising.    
“Do not taunt me.” He warned.   
“It isn’t a taunt.” He said while gesturing to a guard, who pressed a stone on the wall, causing the joins in the magic to gleam brightly and the front pane of the barrier to disappear.  

Loki stood up and stepped outside of the cell.  It was the first time in days that he had walked more than two steps.  His legs were visibly stiff, and Thor could see the slight pain in his face from the sudden strain in muscles.   
“Is she awake?” Loki asked.   
“She has had moments of consciousness... but nothing of consequence...” Loki sighed and moved to take a step forward, but was abruptly stopped by his brother. The raven haired prince suppressed a growl,   
“What _now_?” he snapped.  Thor quickly grabbed Loki’s thin wrist and placed a solid gold band bracelet on him. The younger prince raised a brow, “What is this?”   
“The condition that allows you to walk freely within the palace.”   
“ _Freely_?” he repeated, slightly surprised.   
“It is anchored to (Name). You can go freely through the grounds of anywhere she is, the moment you try to leave the grounds of the palace; both of your lives will start to drain and you will have ten minutes to return, otherwise you will both die.  If you try to remove the bracelet, she will die.” Loki’s eyes widened slightly, though not enough for Thor to notice.   
“I’m surprised you would agree to such a drastic thing...” he said.   
“It was the only way father would allow you out of prison.” He replied dully, dropping his brother’s wrist and starting to walk. “As long as you are out of the dungeons, he will use her to influence and control you...” he said.   
“ _Great_.” Loki spat bitterly as they began to walk.

***

*Loki’s POV*

Needless to say, Loki’s presence within the general population caused many to whisper and gossip.  News had already spread that he had brought a human to Asgard, though the exact nature of the relationship wasn’t clear; some thought she was nothing but a pet, others thought a concubine - - and while they may have been right at one point in time, that wasn’t how Loki saw her now, though he had yet to openly admit that in front of other people.   There people who obviously avoided his path, and others - - like Sif - - who glared at him as he passed.  Usually he would have come up with some smart remark to make, but his mind was too preoccupied...

Thor entered the healing bay first, followed by Loki – who had tidied himself up a little, new clothes and brushed hair.  Frigga was in the room, sitting beside (Name)’s bed, and oddly enough Heimdall was there too.   
“Mother...?” Thor asked, his brow raised, Loki ignored the other people and made his way over to the woman’s bed,   
“What is wrong with her?” he asked.  Frigga glanced over to Heimdall, who nodded.   
“The healers couldn’t find out what was wrong... They did several tests, scanned her brain and heart, but found no abnormalities...  We went to Heimdall to see if he had seen anything such as this, and he had.” Frigga said before allowing the gatekeeper to continue.   
“Some cannot handle the stress of travelling such a great distance.  The shock of the travel mixed with the change in atmosphere has taken its toll on her.  I have seen this in warriors travelling for the first time.  When they come passed me, I tell them to rest for a week, and they will recover.” Heimdall said seriously.   
“So she will recover?” Thor butt in before Loki had a chance.  The way the older brother looked at (Name) made Loki’s jealousy monster rear its ugly head again.   
“Asgardian’s are different to the mortals from Midgard in many ways.  Our bodies are far sturdier and do not succumb to illness as easily as theirs do.” The way the gatekeeper dodged around the question didn’t sit well with Loki.  A nervous lump formed in the back of Loki’s throat.   
“You did not answer the question.” The raven haired man said with gritted teeth.  Heimdall eyed Loki for a moment,   
“She is weak, underweight and scarred both physically and mentally.  I would not expect her to make any form of recovery.  I believe she will only get worse.” Frigga nodded to Heimdall, who then left the room.  Loki was in a state of shock... He thought she would be safe on Asgard... He thought, though he would be in prison, she would be able to live happily... but no... She wasn’t going to get better... and it made him sick thinking that everything he had done had helped the illness along...   
“I need to speak to Odin...” he said, no emotion, no pain, nothing in his voice.

***

That day Loki went to Odin, and almost pleaded with him to give (Name) the gift of longevity; to make her an Asgardian so she would have a chance of surviving. Of course Odin denied his request.  Loki went back, the second, the third, and every day for a week; however the answer never changed, and today it looked as though it was going to be no different.   
“You have come here every day for a week, asking for the same thing.  What makes you think I will change my answer?”  Loki was silent, unsure how to answer.   
“I-,”  
“You may leave.” He said, waving him off.  That made Loki’s anger boil over,   
“You would let her die then!?” Loki screamed, taking a few furious steps forward.  However, the magic seal on him prevented him from coming any closer to the king.    
“I would have a mortal life end in the way it should, and not have her linger throughout the millennia.” Odin’s cold and distant gaze sent a shiver down Loki’s spine. “She is of Midgard, you bring her here with the hope that she will quell your boredom while imprisoned, but what happens when she grows old and dies?  It would be easier for everyone involved in this ridiculous situation if she passed now...” Everyone in the room was shocked by Odin’s words.  Loki’s chest was heaving as he tried to process everything his adopted father had thrown at him; then, with very concise words and the calmest tone he could manage, the raven haired man spoke.   
“I did not bring her here to ‘quell my boredom’... I knew the persecution she would face coming here, and that was the reason I did not want her to come here at all.  In fact I believe everyone, including her, would have been happier if she hadn’t managed to stop Thor from killing me... but I could not sway her mind.  She _wanted_ to come here, perhaps I should have told her how she would be scrutinised and hated for no reason other than existing... but I didn’t... and I doubt even _that_ would have swayed her mind...”   
“I will not change her.” He said coolly.  Loki opened his mouth to yell and scream and rant at his father, but a hesitant and small girl in a nurse’s garb entered the room. “What?” Odin said dully to the girl.    
“S-Sire... there.... there’s something you have to see...” the girl said.   
“What? What is it now?” Odin groaned.   
“It’s about the Midgardian...”   
“What about her?” Loki asked his attention firmly on the girl.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG guys, I am so sorry. I had only planned to take like a week or two off, but it somehow snowballed into like... 6... SHIT... DX I hadn't even realised how long it had been. Between school and everything else, the last like month is just a blur... But I am on holidays now for two weeks, so I should be able to get a little more done now - - though I am reaching the end of the school year, so everything will start piling up (especially since we only have 8 weeks or something in the next term...) 
> 
> ANYWAY. If you can forgive the lateness of my update, I hope you enjoyed it. It isn't quite as polished as I would have liked, but it's done. 
> 
> Now, I cant remember how many chapters I promised were left, but as it's travelling now, I can probably see another 5 or so out of the story line that I have prepared. So, guys, we're almost there!!! I did want to finish this in a year (as in a year from the time I started), but I kind of blasted passed that deadline (back in August). But I would like to finish this by the end of October, or maybe mid-November, depending on the chapters. So, my dear reader-chan's, I would like you to do something for me. If I haven't updated within a week and a half of my last update, COME AND POKE ME. Comment, tell me to hurry the fuck up. Do SOMETHING. Otherwise I'm afraid I may loose the grasp of what concentration I can muster. Don't feel like you're annoying me, I need someone on my ass telling me to hurry up, otherwise what just happened may happen again. 
> 
> Okay, now that that is over, tell me what you think! What do you think is wrong with Reader-chan??? Tell me your theories!!! :D


	33. Tears of an Angel

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 33  
_***_  
“S-Sire... there.... there’s something you have to see...” the girl said.   
“What? What is it now?” Odin groaned.   
“It’s about the Midgardian...”   
“What about her?” Loki asked his attention firmly on the girl.    
***

*Your POV*

Everything felt stiff... You knew you were conscious, but you couldn’t muster the strength to move your arms, or even try to sit up. You could hear the hushed whispers of someone... Who was it...? You focused on the voice, using it as an anchor to keep you alert to the waking world...   
“You will be the one to tell her.” Thor’s voice warned.   
“I know...” Loki replied.  Loki... Loki! Now you tried to fight against your body’s need for rest.  You felt your hand shift against the silky bedsheet, and suddenly, even with your eyes closed, you could feel their gazes on you.   
“(Name)...?” Loki asked.   
“Even when I’m asleep you two argue...” you mumbled, your voice cracking and hoarse.  Just how long had you been asleep...? You heard Thor mumble something to Loki, however you couldn’t focus on it, the simple movement of sitting up occupying almost all of your concentration.  There was an unusually strong stabbing pain in your lower abdomen, though the rest of your body felt the same, making you wince.  In the time it took you to sit up, Thor had left the room, leaving you and Loki alone. “What’s going on...What happened?” You asked, glancing up to Loki. He opened his mouth, but hesitated. “Loki?” His hand ran over your hair and for several minutes you were both silent.   
“(Name)... I’m sorry... it didn’t work.” Your brows furrowed.   
“What didn’t work?”   
“I thought if it was removed, you’d get better... It allowed you to wake up... but you are weaker...”   
“Loki.” You cut in, “What are you talking about?”   
“I...” he let out a deep breath and lowered his gaze.   
“Tell me what happened.” You pleaded.  Loki’s green eyes met your own (e/c) ones.   
“Very well...” he mumbled.  Something in his eyes told you he wasn’t happy...  Sadness and hesitation lingered in his emerald orbs... It made you nervous... “(Name)... they found.... _something_...” he mumbled.   
“ _Something_?” you asked.  He nodded.   
“I told them to remove it... I thought it would make you better... but it really made no difference...” Your brows furrowed slightly.  You were still sick... but a little better... So why did he look so sad...? You opened your mouth to speak, but Loki beat you to it. “(Name), what they removed from you didn’t have anything to do with your illness... It helped to deplete your energy... but it was not the cause of it...” Your brows furrowed.   
“What was it then...?” He sighed softly and lowered his gaze.   
“A child... our child...”

You froze; your mouth a gape slightly and a cold sweat spreading over your skin.   
“(Name)...?” Loki asked.    
“No... No I don’t believe you.”  You mumbled. “I took a test... I took a test and-... and...”  
“And...?”   
“And then you showed up... and I didn’t see the results...” you said in a small voice. You were still shocked and your mind was filled with a thousand and one thoughts... How come you didn’t realise...? You’re supposed to be a mother... so how could you not notice?! After several minutes of silence, you finally said something.  You said the only thing that stuck in your mind at the minute, even if you didn’t want to know the answer... “How big was he?” you asked.  Loki sighed,   
“It was only about seven weeks along (Name)...” he mumbled. “It was just bigger than about a blue berry...” A cold shudder ran through your back, and you tried not to let out the choked sob that was slowly forming in your throat.  Seven weeks... It could have been from the night in the cells – nausea settled in your stomach just thinking of it – or it could have happened while you were at the beach house... No, it didn’t matter _when_ it happened, it happened, that was all that mattered. You were pregnant... _Were_... Past tense... The bab- _It_ had to be removed. No, wait it didn’t... removing it didn’t help you much at all... Your chest began to tighten, and you could hear the unfamiliar machines you were hooked up to start to beep more and more often.  “(Name)...?” Loki asked as he took a seat on the edge of the bed.  He reached for your hand, but you ripped it away before he had a chance to touch you.   
“Get out...” you whispered softly.   
“(Na)-.”  
“Get out!” you yelled, throwing a pillow at his face, almost knocking him off of the bed.  So many emotions ran through you. Pain, anger, loss, sadness... It overwhelmed you, and unfortunately for Loki; he was the only one there to take the blame...

*Loki’s POV*

He chose to stay away after the small blow up... Two days he spent just walking aimlessly in the palace; occasionally stopping at the doorway to check on (Name); though he never went inside.  He eventually took to holding up in the library; attempting to get away from everything, and everyone - - that is until Frigga called on him...

Slowly he knocked on the queen’s door.  He almost felt like he was a child once more, being called upon by his parents for punishment...   
“What would you like?” he asked as he entered the room.   
“To speak with you.” She replied with a warm smile.  Loki suppressed his need to roll his eyes.   
“About what?”   
“(Name).” she answered simply; causing Loki to immediately turn tail and attempt to escape the queens chambers - - however she was faster than Loki, and locked the door with magic.    
“Loki-,”  
“Mother, do not.” He warned.    
“Go to her, Loki.”  
“No.” he said stubbornly.   
“Loki.” she tried again; her voice a little softer this time.  “... Losing a child is a hard thing to cope with-,”   
“She didn’t even know she was pregnant.” He stated, almost like a child who was attempting to lessen the consequence of his actions.   
“That doesn’t matter Loki.” She warned. “You took the choice away from her.” Loki glanced away.  He just wanted to save her... to _fix_ her... but all his effort meant nothing... Frigga gently turned Loki’s gaze back to meet hers. “She will forgive you... I am sure she will... She just needs time to process everything...”   
“I can’t face her yet...” he said.  Frigga sighed softly,   
“Then take a moment... another day or two to straighten everything up...” He nodded, taking a moment to glance out the large balcony doors. He would love to be able to walk around the town; away from the palace, away from his troubles... but because of the damn magical tether he couldn’t.  He sighed irritably and turned to continue talking to Frigga, but an old book caught his eye before he had a chance. He stood and made his way over to her desk.   
“Why do you have _this_?” he asked, running a hand over the book.   
“I was looking for a solution...” she said.  He raised a brow.   
“This is old magic.  How could it possibly be of use?” Frigga moved to stand beside him, and flipped a few pages over, before she pointed to a small passage.   
“Vindi: a bond that lasts the ages. It can save one, but cannot prevent injury or sickness for both when it is inflicted to the base.” Loki raised a brow,   
“What?” he asked.   
“I’m not entirely sure either... I have looked for anything else referencing a ‘Vindi’, however I have yet to find anything that actually describes it... The best we have to go on is that it can save...” she said, irritation stirring under her calm demeanour.  It had been irritating the queen for a while, and she couldn’t find an answer to it...   
“That’s what I’ll do then...” Loki finally said, pulling Frigga out of her head.   
“You’ll do what dear?”   
“Find it.  Find what it is, and how to use it.” He said.   
“Loki, I have been through the library countless times.  You know the layout well, but I know it better.  There is no book that holds any information about a ‘Vindi’ but this one.” She said, patting the page of the book.   
“You looked in the palace library... but not in the catacombs underneath the dungeons.” Frigga’s face went slightly pale, and a serious expression crossed her face.   
“Loki, do not even joke about going to such a place.  Your father sealed that room for a reason.  It is filled with many items that hold dark magic.  It is too dangerous.” She warned.  Loki didn’t answer, he didn’t raise his gaze to look at her, nor did he appear to be breathing... The queens brows furrowed and she reached forward to touch his arm.  That was when she found that the Loki before her was not real - - her hand passed through his arm, which turned to mist, slowly consuming the whole body of the duplicate before he was nothing but a swarming mass of mixed colours.  The queen sighed, “Be safe you stubborn idiot...” she mumbled.

*Your POV*

Days passed and all you seemed to do was stare endlessly at the ceiling, or occasionally take a few mouthfuls of food and water - - followed by a slew of pills and medication...  Since Loki left you hadn’t spoken to anyone... you hadn’t even looked at anyone... You felt numb and violated all at the same time, which was an all too much of a familiar and unwanted feeling...  You didn’t think it was possible to actually go through life not thinking or feeling a single thing; but there where hours on end when that happened...

A gentle knock came from the door.   
“What...?” you called dully, not even bothering to take your eyes off of the blank wall in front of you. The door clicked open and you heard footsteps slowly get closer.  It was too early to be lunch... and breakfast had already arrived... The nurses and doctors didn’t bother knocking either... so who was it? You turned slightly. Thor. Of course it was Thor... Your heart ached for Loki, and every time Thor popped in to see you, it was only made worse... Your brows furrowed. He had only ever stopped at the door before, obviously nervous or uncomfortable. This time he actually stepped into the room...   
“(Name)...” he said. You hummed softly, acknowledging his presence. “(Name).” he repeated; this time your eyes actually focused.

Concern lingered in Thor’s eyes; and suddenly it became all too much.  The weight of everything on your shoulders finally broke your bones and forced you down to the ground. Your vision became blurry, and you could feel the cold sting of tears streaming down your cheeks.  Everyone, _everyone_ , had avoided your gaze since you had forced Loki out of the room... You had chosen to do the same... it was easier to pretend they weren’t there; easier to block them out than think for a minute that someone in a realm that had only brought you sadness and discontent, could actually care... No... No, that was stupid... Loki cared... Didn’t he?  By the time you were actually able to process why you were crying, Thor had already stepped forwards, taken a seat beside you, and wrapped his muscular arms around you.  You leaned into him slightly and sobbed softly into his chest.  He gently stroked your matted hair and hushed you, though you both knew it wouldn’t do much good... You just need to cry... and so you did...

***

You cried... You didn’t even know how long you cried for, but once you were done, you felt like you wouldn’t be able to cry another tear for the rest of your life... Thor stayed with you for the entire time, almost like a giant teddy bear... It calmed you a little to have someone with you, but something didn’t feel quite right.  You felt like you were betraying Loki... but you just wanted someone to hold you... Why had you told Loki to leave...? You sighed softly and rested a little more weight on Thor.  Crying was exhausting...  You felt tired all the time, but today it was worse than ever... Thor gently stroked you hair and coaxed you to sit up.  A maid entered the room with two trays of food, one just had the food, and the other had an array of pills and medications... _yay_...  Thor softly patted your head.   
“It’ll make you feel better especially seeing as we missed lunch...” You didn’t reply to him; you only nodded silently. Since you had woken up, you hadn’t been hungry much at all... However you knew Thor wouldn’t accept that at the moment.  The maid passed Thor one tray, and placed yours on your lap.   
“Two of these, one of those, and one of those.” She said, pointing to the various pills and potions. You sighed softly and nodded, already knowing what to take... For some reason they found it necessary to say it every time they dropped off food...  Thor began to shovel the food into his mouth, and you began to slowly nibble on it before moving on to taking the medication.   
“(Name), I know this will be a delicate subject... but... What would you have chosen...?” Thor asked.  Your chest clenched, and you where honestly surprised your heart managed to continue beating.    
“I... I don’t know...” you mumbled.  He gently stroked your hair,   
“You were angry with Loki for deciding what he did...”  
“I know...” you mumbled again.  “But I just don’t know... It’s easy to speculate... but... I just...” He sighed softly and hugged you gently.   
“It’s okay...” he said. “Given the circumstances, I think it’s okay to be indecisive or confused... I’ve been confused for most of my life.” He said with a dopey grin. You giggled softly as you turned to face Thor, and for a single moment in time, everything seemed happy... the weight on your shoulders was gone, and you could breathe easily... Your eyes locked with his, and the next thing you knew, his lips gently locked with yours.  One of his large hands settled on your neck and warm shudder ran up your spine - - something you soon realised was Thor’s other hand.  He held you firmly for a moment before slowly releasing you.  “I’m sorry...” he mumbled.   
“I-It’s fine...” you replied, slightly breathlessly.   
“You already know how I feel... I just want you to be happy...” he said. You bit your lower lip softly.   
“Thor, I-,”

*Loki’s POV*

Loki had buried himself in the catacombs, and for every moment, Frigga had worried about him, fearing for his safety and soul should he come across something he shouldn’t... She would check on him every so often, but it eventually came to a point that he had become lost to her wihin the twisting and turning rooms within the section.  The only good thing that came from it was that Odin didn’t become too suspicious... if he had, he would have kicked Loki out immediately.  However, after a few days passed, Frigga delved deeper into the room, deciding that Loki had taken enough time and needed to get back to normal life...

She found Loki nearly in the centre of the labyrinth like maze of halls and rooms, the prince was surrounded by piles and piles of books.  He was slightly paler than usual, and bags lined the bottom of his eyes.  The queen sighed softly.   
“Dear.” She said, getting his attention, though it was only for a moment before he turned back to his books.   
“What can I do for you?” he asked.   
“Loki... you need to go see her.”   
“No, no.” he said, not once looking up from the book in his lap. “I am so close. It’s taken three days, but I’ve narrowed it down to two books.” He said, flipping the page over.   
“Loki.” Frigga said sterner, forcing the prince to look up, exhaustion in his eyes.  She sighed softly and calmed herself before kneeling down beside her son. “She lost a child-,”   
“I know, that is why I’m doing thi-,” the warning glance from Frigga stopped Loki midsentence.   
“and so did you.” She finished.  Loki froze, and his heart nearly stopped. “You may not have seen it that way at the time... but you did...” She gently ran her fingers over his hair, noting he needed to wash it.   
“I didn’t know...” he whispered. “I checked... I swear I checked and there was no child...” She gently rubbed his back. “It was sucking the life out of her... what was I supposed to do...?” he asked.    
“You did what you thought was right...” she said softly.  He rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed softly. “Go to her.” She said.  He sighed again,   
“Fine.” He grumbled before reluctantly standing up and heading off.  Frigga picked up the two books that remained open before leaving the underground maze.

***

It took Loki nearly half an hour to travel a distance that should have only taken fifteen minutes; that was partially due to his need for a shower... but in reality, what took up most of the time was his dawdling... He was honestly afraid of seeing (Name) again... He didn’t want to be rejected by her _again_... he didn’t want to leave her alone any more... He sighed heavily as he reached the door to her room.  That was when he heard the voices from the other side.    
“You already know how I feel... I just want you to be happy...” he – Thor – said.   
“Thor, I-,” Loki chose that moment to step into the room; not wanting to hear her answer - - knowing it would only cause the pain in his chest to worsen.   
“Sorry to interrupt your _touching_ little moment.” Loki spat bitterly.

*Your POV*

“I didn’t know _he_ would be here.  If I did, I would have given the two of you a minute or two.” Loki snarled from the doorway.  How must this have looked? You were in bed with Thor, sharing dinner... and he had just kissed you...   
“ _Someone_ had to be here. You certainly weren’t.” Thor argued.   
“I would have been if _she_ didn’t send me away!” Loki yelled.   
“Loki-,”  
“I wanted to give you time (Name). I stayed away just as you asked. But it appears I have given you too much time.” He growled before turning to leave.   
“Loki!” you yelled, causing your voice to crack.  He stopped in the door way.   
“What?” he asked turning slightly.   
“I... I don’t know...” you mumbled. “I just don’t want you to leave...”   
“Why? You have _him._ ” He growled.   
“Loki, stop it... _please_...” you swung your legs over the edge of the bed and attempted to make your way over to him, however your own weak body, and all the IV’s and cords connecting you to the various machines stopped you quickly, forcing you down to the ground. 

The tiles of the floor were icy cold compared to the warmth of the bed you were accustomed to. It almost seemed to singe your flesh it was so cold...  Maybe it was a mistake...Maybe following Loki was a mistake...  Since arriving the predominant feeling you had felt was hurt and pain... was it worth it? Yes, okay, you were the one who sent Loki away, which only served to heighten your loneliness in the long run... but still... Strong hands settled on your shoulders, before they slipped to your waist and lifted you up.  You had honestly expected it to be Thor, but it wasn’t.  Loki was the one who lifted you up and carried you back to the bed. Clearly Thor had moved to do the same, considering he was standing, his food long forgotten, but Loki probably glared him away. 

He set you back down on the bed, moving the trays of food away before turning to Thor.  Just by the look in his eyes you could tell Loki wanted Thor to leave; however the God of Thunder seemed reluctant to leave. They were both so stubborn...   
“It’s fine, Thor...” you said.  He was hesitant for a moment, but after you offered him a smile, he nodded and left the room.  You felt bad for Thor... He only ever tried to help... but he didn’t get anything out of the whole situation... You really did care for him... but... You turned back to Loki. Simply seeing Loki sad or jealous made your heart ache...   
“(Name), I want to talk about what happened.” He said once he was sure Thor was gone.   
“No, Loki, we don’t have too...” you said quickly.   
“(Name)...” he said.   
“Loki, please-,”  
“No...” he stumbled around for words for a moment before speaking once more. “I know you do not agree with what I chose... but please... let me show you _why_.” He said, offering you his hand.   
“Loki...” you said uncertainly.   
“ _Please_.” He said once more.  You sighed before placing your hand over his palm.  His cool fingers curled around your hand as pale green, mist-like magic consumed them.  

You could hear some form of mumbling in the distance.  Your brows furrowed and you tightly squeezed your eyes shut, trying to block it out - - however it only made the voices louder.  When they opened again, you found yourself standing in the healer’s room, along with multiple nurses, Loki, Thor, Frigga and even Odin.  They were all - - they were all standing around _you_... Well it wasn’t ... Well it wasn’t _you,_ you; it was another you... laying in a bed, sickly, pale, thin and hooked up to even more machines than you already where...   
“How did you not realise this before?!” Loki growled.   
“I-,” a nurse, started, but faltered under Loki’s intense gaze,   
“We scanned her brain and heart. We had no reason to so the same to any other part of her body.  It was only when her heart began to slow and her blood pressure dropped that we became suspicious.” The head nurse stated, sensing the young girls unease.   
“Does that mean she does not have the illness Heimdall claimed to recognise?”   
“No... It merely means that the child added to the stress on her body, and has helped to deplete what little energy she has... and that the child is the reason she has not made any type of improvement...” Loki sighed and ran a hand through his hair.   
“What will happen?” he asked. “Will it continue to drain her life?”  
“Yes...”   
“If she didn’t have the child, would she be able to beat the illness?” he asked.   
“Possibly... It would allow her body to retain the energy, and nutrients...”  
“Then you have to get rid of it,” he said, shocking most of the people in the room.   
“Brother, it is not your decision.” Thor said.   
“Who’s decision _should_ it be then? Yours? _His_?” he asked, gesturing to Odin.   
“It should be (Name)’s decision.” He said.   
“She hasn’t been awake for days, and even if she had been, she is in no state to make a decision like that.”   
“There is another option...” another nurse said hesitantly.   
“What would that be?” Loki asked sceptically.   
“The baby could continue to grow-,”  
“Are you suggesting using her as a human incubator?” he snarled.   
“The child would survive.”  
“At the cost of her life, _right_?” he asked.   
“There is no definite answer... she could survive as well...”  
“By the time the child is viable, she would be too weak. _She_ would be living off of the child’s life force.  Take it away, and she would die.” He growled.   
“Loki, calm down...” Frigga warned.  “You should think about it before you decide-,”  
“No, I’ve made my decision.  Save her.  Remove the child... just save her...” He said to the healers. The vision began to fade away, before you were once again sitting in front of Loki.   
“I thought what I did would save you... I thought what I did was the best option... I couldn’t sit by and watch as you withered away...” He glanced away, his hair covering his face; though it didn’t stop you from seeing the glistening tears run down his cheeks. You cringed as you leaned forward to wrap your arms around his shoulders.   
“Don’t cry...” you said softly.   
“I’m not.” He insisted stubbornly.  You sighed and gently pulled him to lay down beside you - - mainly because the stiffness everywhere made it more than unpleasant to remain hunched over for even a short while. “(Name)-,”  
“Stay with me.” You said. “Don’t leave...”  
“I only left because you told me too...”  
“I’m a woman; I say the opposite of what I actually want to test you...”  
“That’s stupid.”  
“I know.” you mumbled as you made yourself comfortable on Loki’s chest.  His fingers gently tangled in your hair.   
“If you say the opposite of what you want, doesn’t that mean you want me to leave?” he teased softly.  You could hear the slight smile on his lips.   
“No. Because you were too stupid to figure it out, I have to lower the level of my mind games...” He chuckled softly.   
“(Name)...” he mumbled.   
“Yeah...?”   
“Do you hate me...?”   
“No... Not really...” you replied,   
“Wait, what?” he asked. “Not really?” he asked, sitting up a little, concern evident in his voice.  You smiled slightly and leaned up to kiss his cheek.   
“It was a decision that had to be made...” you said, resting your head back on his chest. “If I had to make it...” you stopped. “I don’t even think I could make it...” you could feel tears fill your eyes once more, and your lower lip tremble uncontrollably.  Loki tightened his hold on you and he gently rubbed your back.  You really didn’t want to cry again... You didn’t think it was possible for you to cry any more... but somehow you did... and Loki stayed with you for the entire time.  Eventually you could feel your eyes becoming heavier and heavier as your tears began to slow.  After everything that happened over the span of a single day, you were exhausted... You hadn’t done this much in what felt like weeks, and it had finally caught up with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um... So... did anyone see that coming? Did anyone get emotional? I'm a rather cold person, and the only time i've ever been effected by my own writing was a oneshot... so I have no idea if any of the reactions are realistic or good... or feels filled... so please tell me!!!!! 
> 
> gaaah I suck at sticking to schedules... It's been about three weeks since I updated this, and around two and a half since I updated in general... That isn't too bad... is it...? Also, I think this chapter is a little longer than usual... Maybe? Though it did jump around quite a bit... :/
> 
> Now, I wont be able to get much done this weekend, because I'm going away. But I already have quite a bit pre-written. So shall we say the same time in two weeks for the next update? Also, I've started playing Dungeons and Dragons (yaaaay), and I may be getting a horse... So... There is quite a bit to keep up with... BUT BUT BUT this term is really short, around 6-7 weeks in total are left, then I'm on break until February/March. So I will be able to once again start pumping out chapters more and more for all my series and all new series as well.
> 
> Tell me what you think please~!!!


	34. Fire, Pain and Sleep

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 34

***  
_Eventually you could feel your eyes becoming heavier and heavier as your tears began to slow. After everything that happened over the span of a single day, you were exhausted... You hadn’t done this much in what felt like weeks, and it had finally caught up with you._  
***

Time passed slowly for you. After that day you were barely able to stay awake for more than a few hours at a time. During that time however, you were able to move around a little - - with help from Loki of course. You could sense that it irritated Odin, especially seeing as he made an active effort to avoid your presence at all costs… Tension in the palace slowly began to rise between everyone; well… actually no… it was mainly between Loki and Odin… and Loki and Thor… and Loki and, well, pretty much _everyone_ …   
“Something is worrying you…” Loki softly said, a tingling shudder running down your spine as he did.   
“N-No… There’s nothing bothering me…” you said, shifting your weight around slightly. Loki was standing behind you; his arms on either side of you helping to keep you steady, aided in part by the thick, cool, stone guardrail of the balcony.   
“(Name).” he said sternly. Evidently he didn’t believe you… You glanced down to the bustling town below the palace. It was nice to see other people again, even if it was at a distance. You shook your head. Loki sighed irritably, and you could almost feel the air around him grow cold.   
“You will never forgive me then?” he asked. You glanced back, brows furrowed,   
“What are you talking about?”   
“The child.” He said. “You still hold anger and resentment towards me.” He was being an idiot. You rolled your eyes.   
“Loki, stop this now before an argument starts.” You said, the very idea of arguing exhausting you more than you already were. You’d been out about half an hour, and your body was already growing heavy.   
“Then what was it?!” he demanded, moving to stand at your side. Don’t lean back. You’ll over balance and fall over, _again_.   
“Am I not allowed to just _think_?” you growled before turning and attempting to head back to your room. You stumbled more than once in the space of a few seconds. You sensed Loki move closer to you, but you forced your body to obey and move without his aid - - albeit slower than you’d hoped. Why? Why did he linger on it? Why did he feel it necessary to bring it up…? Initially you were inconsolable about the loss… but as time passed, you began to realise more and more that you, and Loki, were in no way shape or form ready for a child… You were upset about it in some ways, but relieved in others… Though that didn’t mean you were happy to continuously drag it up, or be assumed to only ever think about it…. You sighed, sickness building in your stomach. Every time you thought about it, about the child, about Loki hanging so desperately onto it, it made you feel so sick… You continued down the halls, receiving a few stares from the servants… It wasn’t anything new… You were accustomed to it…

*Loki’s POV*

He watched her leave, and it pained him to do so. But what else could he do really? It was clear to him, as misguided as it was, that she would not forgive him. She shouldn’t forgive him… What had he done to receive or deserve forgiveness? Nothing. What had he done to deserve and receive her hatred? _Everything_.   
“Patience…” a voice called to him.   
“Patience is not a virtue I have.” He said aloud, though he initially thought it was a voice in his head.   
“It is something you will need to learn.” Loki clicked his tongue and turned away to follow behind the human woman, however an arm caught him and stopped his movements. He turned ready to abuse and yell at whoever it was that stopped him. “Do not turn away from me.” Frigga said softly yet sternly. Loki’s mouth fell open slightly.   
“I did not-,”  
“Exactly, you did not know, and you still do not know.” He said. “Do not assume to know her mind-,”  
“I do.”  
“No, you do not. You manipulated her mind and body to your own needs. All you know is she wanted to please you, and keep you happy. Now that she no longer feels frightened by you, you see how she really is, and you are afraid of losing her.” Loki’s lips formed a firm line, not wanting to admit such a thing. She gently stroked her youngest sons cheek. “Do not think she would leave you so easily… She has come this far, has she not?” she asked.   
“By will? Or by force?” he said bitterly.   
“By both,” Loki’s face visibly dropped, saddened to actually hear it. The queen sighed softly.   
“Have you found any more about the Vindi?” Loki asked softly, trying to change the subject.   
“No, not yet.” The prince nodded.   
“I’ll continue looking for it then…” he mumbled before turning to head off. Frigga sighed and shook her head. “What?” Loki snapped. “What have I done wrong _now_?!”   
“Loki-,”  
“No, I am sick of everyone detesting me for something I thought would _help_.”  
“Loki-,”  
“No! I have been hated all my life, and now it feels like even she is turning against me!”   
“Loki!” Frigga snapped, stopping Loki’s rant dead. “Enough.” She said softly. Loki looked defeated, exhausted and pained all at once… She had seen him like that a few times when he was younger and it could still manage to break her heart… He held his head in his hand. She stepped forwards and gently kissed his forehead, much like she did when he was younger - - only this time it involved stretching upwards. “She does not hate you. I do not hate you. Thor and your Father do not hate you, and do not ever think they do.” Loki was silent. He didn’t want to believe it… He _couldn’t_ believe it… All the years of numbing himself to his so called family… All the years of hating his father and brother… He could not have wasted all his time, all his energy, and all his hate, just to be told his assumptions about them were wrong.   
“Loki…” a soft voice called. Immediately his eyes snapped open and his head whipped up. (Name) was standing, leaning her weight against one of the great stone pillars, her eyes firmly locked on Loki. How long had she been there? How much had she heard…?

*Your POV*

You had turned around to get him and take him back to the room with you… you hated the idea of ending a conversation with an argument; and what you had heard only confirmed your worries. He felt the same as you did… He was worried and scared of how his actions impacted you and everyone else… However when you finally approached him, his eyes immediately lowered and he became standoffish.   
“What do you want…?” he asked, seeming unhappy to see you. You were saddened to hear him make such a sudden and unexpected turn. You turned your gaze from him as your arms wrapped around your middle in an attempt to stay standing.   
“Nothing…” you mumbled before turning around and leaving once more. It was a mistake. It was all a mistake. You shouldn’t have gone back. You shouldn’t have… As you walked you heard Frigga scolding Loki, but it didn’t make you stop, or slow, or even consider the possibility of turning around… Every time you tried… Every time you reached out to him, he would either turn to a marshmallow, or a rabid dog… and it was more often the latter. You just managed to open the heavy door to your hospital room before slipping inside and slamming it shut - - helped by the fact the door was so heavy in the first place.

Stumbling over to the bed, you took a seat and all of a sudden the presence of everything around you was gone; you knew you were sitting in the hospital bed, the machines beeping and making other noises… but you couldn’t see them, nor could you hear them properly, the noises muffled as if you had earmuffs on. You were just sitting, alone in a room darkened by drawn curtains; your heart breaking more and more with every beat it took. You couldn’t take it any more. The stress building between you and Loki was unbearable… How much longer could you keep this up; pretending you were okay when you so completely weren’t? The cool trail of tears ran down your cheeks, you vision blurring slightly. Would it just be easier to go back to Earth…? To forget everything that had happened…? You were sure there would have been some type of spell Odin or Frigga could use to wipe your memory… But then… could you actually do that to Loki…? Could you turn your back on him, like everyone else…? You were torn. Pulled in two directions, an unknown outcome for each road… What could you do…? What _should_ you do?  
“(Name)…?” Frigga called softly from the door. “Can I come in…?” she asked. You nodded, hearing what she said, but, then not at the same time. Her warm hand on yours was the thing that snapped you out of your stupor. “Loki is childish at the best of times, isn’t he…?” she asked with a smile, your lips quirked upwards slightly. Yes, yes he was. “Do you regret your decision?” she asked. You bit your lower lip. Did you…?   
“I don’t know…” you mumbled. “Every time I try… It just gets worse…” She gently caressed your cheek.   
“I very well may have blinders on because he is my son… but do not doubt his love for you… Doubt his maturity, but not his love…” she said with a small smile. Frigga was so warm and comforting, and was able to put you at ease with just a smile… how on Earth did Loki end up the way he did? Clearly he would have always had Frigga’s support and love… so why could he be so cold? “I can see you are still uncertain…” She said softly. “Come with me.” She helped you to your feet.  
“Where are we going…?” You asked as she guided you out of the room.   
“You’ll see.” She said, helping you to stand up.

She didn’t say much of anything on the walk through the halls, the only constant sound were the clicking of Frigga’s heels on the cold, marble floor. She came to a stop in front of a large double door. You’d probably walked only a few hundred meters, but you were already _exhausted_. You’d really thought you were tired before, but now you were just about ready to collapse.   
“This is Loki’s room.” She stated, opening the doors and stepping through.

It was covered with books, parchments and other objects. The covers on the bed looked a mess, thrown haphazardly over the bed and half fallen to the floor. It looked like a mad mans room. Scribbles of a language you couldn’t read were all over pieces of paper, on book pages, and even on a small area of the wall. The curtains were closed, keeping in the warm air, causing it to almost suffocate you.   
“What’s he doing…?”  
“He’s searching.”  
“For what?” you asked.   
“For a cure for you.” She said. “The ailment afflicting you will not go away, and it will only get worse… You’ve noticed it in the past few days, haven’t you?” she asked. You had noticed… When you woke up, you barely felt like you had slept at all, and you had even begun nodding off during the limited time you were awake. You hated it… On more than once occasion you freaked out the moment you woke up because you didn’t remember falling asleep at all, or returning to bed; that was because Loki would be forced to carry you back to your room on some occasion. It was made worse by the fact that Loki sometimes wouldn’t be there when you woke up… You sighed. This ‘illness’ was more like torture… “He hates himself because he thinks that it is his fault for your ailment,” she said.   
“But it isn’t.” you said almost instantly. “No one could have known.”  
“He still blames himself; so he is almost killing himself trying to find an answer.” She said. Your head was swimming. You were so mad at him… but you weren’t at the same time… Damn it! You couldn’t focus. You couldn’t think straight! You hated it! A warm arm wrapped around you, and pulled you to a chest far stronger and broader than what Frigga would have had. You didn’t even have to look up. His scent was familiar to you in every way. Loki.

When you did look up, you could see he was a little shocked to see you in his room, and that his knuckles were slightly reddened, the skin broken in a few places, like he had hit something he shouldn’t have with extreme force. You rested your head and body against him, slowly put at ease by the warmth of his body and strong arms.   
“Don’t run from me…”   
“Don’t snap at me.” You replied.   
“Then don’t lie to me.”   
“Then don’t assume things.” You said sharply. “I don’t hate you; and when you just assume I do, all you do is irritate me.” You glanced up. The defeat in his eyes was obvious. He knew arguing his point would only cause more fighting… and he actually seemed to understand that he was making things up in his own mind that you weren’t feeling. “Is this where you’ve been going…?” you asked. Most of the time Loki would help you move around while you were awake, but as soon as you went to sleep, he would leave - - which he was completely within his rights to do, but he would always hide where he had been when you asked. At one stage you were afraid he was going off to be with other women; getting from them what he couldn’t from you. You had tried. You’d tried to have sex more than once, but the physical exhaustion was overwhelming, and you had fallen asleep before Loki was even hard… He nodded. “You’ve been looking for something to fix me?” he nodded again. “You don’t-,”  
“Yes, I do.” He said. “You may not think it is my fault… but it is the least I can do after everything that’s happened…” You nuzzled into his chest softly with a sigh. “Can she stay here?” he asked Frigga.   
“The machines that monitor her while asleep are in the other room… and I don’t think they would be able to be moved in here while the room is in such a state.” She said, glancing around to the mess in the room. “Take her back to the healers room Loki, I will have a maid clean your room and tomorrow you can both move in here.”   
“Will Odin allow it?” Loki asked. Frigga smiled.   
“Do you seriously think I cannot persuade your Father?” she asked. You smiled slightly, closing your eyes as you rested against Loki.   
“Can you stay with me tonight?” you asked, even though it was barely three o’clock in the afternoon.   
“Of course.” He said, gently patting your head.

***

Just as Frigga had promised, you were moved to Loki’s room. Obviously it had been done while you were sleeping because you woke up to Loki, reading in his large, soft, four-poster bed. The machines had been moved with you, and the various items and books had been sorted into two slightly unsteady piles in one corner of the room.   
“Morning…” you mumbled sleepily. Loki glanced over to you for a moment with a smile.   
“How are you feeling?”   
“Tired.” You replied as you shifted over to rest your head on his lap. One hand moved from the book he was reading, to gently stroke your hair. “What time is it?”   
“Seven.”   
“In the morning?!” you asked, sitting up quickly. You regretted that immediately though, dizziness and nausea washing over your body. Loki gently guided you to lie back down. You glanced over to the window; it had been quite a while since you had seen the morning sun…   
“At night.” And you would have to wait longer to see it again…   
“Oh…” you mumbled. “I can’t believe I slept for over twenty-four hours…” You whispered softly. Usually you would sleep for fifteen to sixteen… but never a whole day…   
“You slept through the whole day yesterday as well as most of the day today…” he said. “You were moved in here yesterday morning once they were finished cleaning…” he said. Your eyes widened slightly. It was getting worse… It was getting much worse… “Don’t worry,” he said, squeezing your shoulder. “I will find an answer.” You nodded slightly.

You didn’t bother asking to get up and go anywhere, the very thought making you want to sleep even more… Most of the night you spent your time listening to Loki read aloud, he refused to begin with, saying that he didn’t want to burden your mind with unnecessary information – and that he would only be reading one or two passages before moving on, making it hardly worth listening to – but after your insistence, he caved, settling to read the Nordic language instead of translating it. The fact you couldn’t understand what he was saying didn’t matter to you, the fact that he was there was enough to put and keep you at ease; well, for a short time... Just laying in bed and not getting up to move around allowed you to stay awake for longer than usual, which was a nice change; however the longer you stayed awake, the more your thoughts moved back through everything, which would have been fine if your mind could filter through the bad, only keeping the good… but it couldn’t, and you were only left with the bad and painful memories.    
“Loki…” you mumbled. He stopped reading and glanced down to you. “I… I – um…” you sighed softly. “I want to talk… about… about the thing that happened…”   
“Lots of things have happened (Name), you’re going to have to be a little more specific.” He said.   
“The baby…” you nearly whispered. Loki tensed slightly, and you heard his breathing hitch.   
“(Name), you’ve made it clear that you don’t want to talk about it… Don’t force yourself…” He almost seemed to plead with you.   
“I don’t blame you Loki… I don’t hate you either… I’ve said it before that it was a decision that needed to be made… and I’m finally at peace with that…” you said softly. It was partially true… You didn’t blame him, you didn’t blame _anyone_ … but it still hurt… You may not have been ready for something like that, but it would still take time to overcome.   
“You are…?” he asked almost cautiously.   
“Would you have actually wanted a baby in the current circumstances we have…?” you asked.   
“No… Not really…” he mumbled. “Maybe one day… but not right now…”   
“It wouldn’t have worked… And I guess the universe knew that, so it just wasn’t meant to be…” you mumbled. He smiled softly and leaned down to kiss you deeply. You were still conflicted about the whole thing… but you couldn’t hold it against Loki… He was just doing everything he could to save you, because he loved you… right…?

*******

The next day, Loki shook you awake. You could feel his hand on you, and hear his voice in the distance, but you didn’t want to open your eyes.   
“(Name).” he said sternly, finally forcing your eyes to crack open.   
“What…?” you mumbled into the pillow.   
“I found it.” He said.   
“Found what…?” you asked.   
“How to save you.” He said, you could hear the smile on his lips. Your eyes opened a little more. He was smiling, and clearly overjoyed, however you could barely manage to keep your eyes open let alone smile or sit up.   
“How…?” you croaked.   
“It’s a spell.” He said. “A seal that binds us together.” He explained. “There are a few criteria you need to meet for the seal to work...” Loki said, coaxing your eyes to stay open.   
“Hmm? What would they be?” Nausea ripped through your stomach, but you pushed through the illness to listen to what Loki was saying.   
“Body, Mind, Spirit,” Your brows furrowed slightly and your (e/c) eyes moved, finally finding enough strength to meet with Loki’s.   
“What do you mean?” you asked, too exhausted to actually think over what he had said. He kissed your forehead.   
“Don’t worry. I will handle it. Just stay here and rest.” He said. You nodded, already drifting back off to sleep.

*Loki’s POV*

Mind. Body. Spirit. Body was obvious. He had taken her more than enough times to know that was a completed component. Mind. Did she know how he thought? Well… yes. He thought she did. Did he know the same about her? Possibly, he just chose to ignore it most of the time as it was covered by the screaming sounds of his own mind. Spirit… Spirit… While they were apart, they were able to form a link that some couples need decades to forge right next to each other… Could they have already met the criteria…? If they had, then there could be no time to wait..

He had to get to Odin. The seal had to be performed by The Allfather and - - wait… No… he had to go to Frigga. Odin would turn him down straight away… But did he have enough time…? (Name) was deteriorating quickly… He suppressed a groan, stopping dead in the middle of the hallway to think. If he went to Frigga, then she would more then likely need time to convince Odin… She would need to think of a sly way to mention it to him and slowly sway his mind into allowing it… If he didn’t go to Frigga, then Odin would shut him down immediately. But it would give Frigga the moral high ground and probably make for quicker persuasion… He grit his teeth.   
“My Lord…” A young maid called. He glanced towards her. She was petite, though her chest was ample, and her golden brown hair was pulled back into a tight bun. Her cleavage was clearly visible – a tactic used by most young maids to earn favour with the noblemen.   
“What?” he snapped.   
“Is there something I can do for you?” she asked. The innocent glint in her eyes told him that she didn’t understand the sexual undertones her statement could have had, but nevertheless that is what Loki wanted. He wanted her. He was stressed… He needed release… In one quick second his arm snagged the girls collar and forced her against the nearest wall. He heard her head hit the hard wall, her eyes glazing over slightly, on the verge on unconsciousness. The sound of tearing fabric filled the still air, and the next thing the dazed maid knew, her once covered chest was bare, cold air causing goosebumps to spread over her flesh, her nipples hardening at the same time. Loki smiled wickedly, using his teeth to tease the maid’s nipple further. “M-My Lord! Stop, please!” she yelled, struggling weakly against Loki. He chuckled darkly and forced her legs apart, keeping them that way with his own body. She had never had sex before, and she couldn’t deny the fact that his mere presence between her legs was more than enough to send a pleasant shudder through her core… but she didn’t want it to happen like this… She didn’t want to lose her innocence this way…   
“Loki.” Frigga said sternly. He cursed and pulled away from the maid’s flesh. The Queen waved the maid away. Immediately the girl freed herself from Loki and scurried down the hall, not once looking back. “Do not throw away everything you have fought for…”   
“You aren’t my conscience, so why do you insist on following me around telling me about everything I do wrong?!” He snapped. Under normal circumstances Loki wouldn’t have snapped like that… but he was stressed, exhausted, in physical need of affection that doesn’t end in him using a sleeping woman’s hand to relieve his frustration. Frigga sighed with a shake of her head, before turning to leave the prince alone. That was the first time… The first time she had turned away from him… He grit his teeth before turning and heading straight for the throne room. He would do it alone. He had to do it alone there wasn’t another option…

***

Needless to say Odin was less than pleased to see Loki storm into his throne room and demand _anything_ from him. The fact that Frigga wasn’t there to calm either of them made it all the more difficult…   
“She will die if it isn’t performed soon.” Loki said, the guards stiffening slightly to ward him off when he took a step forwards.   
“That is not my concern.” Odin said coldly. A scowl pulled over Loki’s face.   
“There is no other way-,”  
“It is not my concern.” He repeated. “You may leave.” He said, waving the prince away. Loki’s whole body tensed, ready to spring forth and attack his so-called ‘father’.   Sensing his growing anger, the guards stepped forwards to remind him of his place. “You may leave.” Odin repeated. Loki gritted his teeth before turning to leave, slamming the door on his way out. What could he do? The Allfather had to perform the ceremony… He could kill Odin and take up his place… No, even if he did manage to overthrow Odin, he would have to kill Thor and the boatload of guards and warriors around them. No, taking up the Allfather’s seat was not an option… Frigga wouldn’t help convince Odin… Thor probably wouldn’t either… What could he do…? Nothing… He could do nothing… He was powerless. He couldn’t face her… He had failed… He was weak… He wasn’t worthy of her… He slammed his hand against the wall, just managing to put a crack in the hard stone. Searing pain ran through his hand and arm, but he tried not to think about it… He needed something… Something to help him forget his worries, even if it were only a temporary fix… He turned on his heels and headed towards the kitchen.   Ales, wines and other spirits were, more often than not, served with dinner. He would have preferred a tavern, but he would manage…

***

He spent hours in the cellars of the palace kitchen. Word of his little mishap with the maid spread around the palace, so no servants were stupid enough to bother him at all. A few hours after midnight he crawled out of the cellar, his head already warning him of the horrid hangover he would have when he woke up. He was tired, grumpy and ready to go to bed… but he couldn’t face her… The healer’s room (Name) used to occupy was probably already refilled with a new patient, so he couldn’t go there. He couldn’t go to his room, he couldn’t stay down in the kitchen; he couldn’t go anywhere… So, he did the only thing he could. He wandered around the mostly empty hallways of the palace. He wandered, bottle in hand, until his legs hurt and he couldn’t find the strength to take another step.   
“Loki.” The deep voice of his brother called. Damn it… He had managed to avoid Thor… well, until now. “What are you doing all the way out here?” he asked. Where was he…? He glanced around. It was in the back of the palace, one of the many rooms that were probably destroyed during Asgard’s battle with Thanos. The decorative floor had been repaired, and the roof was slowly being replaced as well, though the great marble pillars looked beyond repair. It was probably as far as he could physically get from his room while still obeying the anchor Odin had placed on (Name), seeing as he was right on the border of the palace.   
“I could ask you the same thing.” He said dully. His feet and legs were stinging uncomfortably, and he had to keep shifting his weight around to alleviate the pain.   
“I went to your room to see (Name), she said she hadn’t seen you for hours. Then I heard from our Father that you barged into the throne room? I came to look for you.” He said.   
“Why?” he said, not believing his reasoning, and irritated he was once again alone with (Name) without his knowledge.   
“Because you tend to do stupid things when you’re hot under the collar.”  
“I believe you’re thinking of yourself Thor, not me. I’m the one who thinks everything through, you’re the one who doesn’t think of consequences.”   
“And you’re the one who doesn’t think of how your actions impact others.” Thor growled back. Frigga. That was why Thor was here. His story may have been somewhat true, but Loki was sure Frigga had sent him.   
“Tell your mother that she needs to stop injecting herself into others business.”   
“ _Our_ mother and I are worried about you and (Name), that is why we talked to Father.”   
“Yes, because you have such a concern for (Name).” he snarled.   
“Watch your tone,” Thor warned, his voice darkening.   
“Honestly, I’m amazed you haven’t just forced her into your bed,”  
“I’m not you.” Thor snapped.   
“You’ve taken advantage of her!” Loki yelled, having had enough of his ‘brother’.  
“And you didn’t?!”  
“I at least admit what I have done! You just continue to wait for weakness to form between the two of us before you pounce!” he snarled.   
“If your relationship was as strong as you think it is, there wouldn’t be _any_ weak spots!”   
“At least I love _her_ and not some long dead human.” Loki said coldly. Thor was taken aback for a moment. “Think about why and how you found yourself attracted to her.” He said. “I concede that I thought of her only as an object for sex, but at least I found an interest in her from the beginning.” Thor grit his teeth.   
“You should just be glad that Mother and I were able to convince him to change his mind.” Thor warned bitterly. “If it weren’t for Frigga, (Name) would perish...” Loki didn’t fail to notice the sad tone to Thor’s voice. He hated it. (Name) was his, he had walked through hell to make it so, and no one, _no one_ , was going to get between the two of them.   
“What? You expect me to grovel at the feet of the _mighty Thor_?” the raven-haired man spat. Thor laughed, a hint of condescension coloured his tone.   
“I thought you had changed, Loki. I thought _she_ had changed you...” Thor walked over and grabbed Loki by the collar of his shirt. “But you are still the same immature child you have always been. Even in this situation, you think only of yourself with no concern for her wellbeing.” The fury in Loki’s eyes was evident, and what happened next was to be expected, but in the heat of the moment Thor wasn’t able to foresee Loki’s next movement.

Loki swung forward and sent Thor flying to the other side of the room. He fought through the pain of the magical seal to chase after the blonde haired man to pin him to the cold tiled ground.   
“YOU THINK I DO NOT CARE ABOUT HER!?” Loki’s grip on Thor’s shirt tightened for a moment before dizziness overcame him and he collapsed onto the floor beside his older brother. He had to stop fighting… (Name) would have been in pain as well. Deep breathing was the only sound in the room, but once Loki regained his ability to speak, he did. “Do you love her?” he asked, his voice breaking slightly. The blond prince remained silent for a moment.   
“Must we talk about this?” Thor asked, sitting up.   
“Yes Thor, I need to know.” The raven-haired man urge, too scared to feel any type of emotion at the time. Thor sighed,   
“I’m unsure of my feelings towards (Name)... But, I know I have not felt this way since Jane died...” Loki thought for a moment.   
“For her survival, you should hope that your feelings are _unrequited_. If your attraction is mutual, then the bonding ceremony could injure, if not kill both of us...” the raven haired man stated before standing and leaving Thor alone in the room, with nothing to keep him company but his own racing mind.

*Your POV*

You were waken by a sharp and ascending pain in your stomach. It lasted a few minutes before fading off. It was one of the worst pains you had ever felt; it almost felt like a slow spreading bushfire underneath your skin. Your muscles were sore, even when they weren’t doing anything more than nothing, and your vision blurred. You gently rubbed your head as the heat and remaining pain faded away, leaving you with a nauseas feeling through your stomach. Your eyes closed again. You noticed once again the lack of Loki. You vaguely remember Thor coming in and asking you something, but that was about all… Had he asked about Loki…? Probably… How long had you been in this state of doze? You’d shifted in the bed, and the air around you started warming… How long had Loki been gone? Since night time at least… Your eyes fluttered open a little, the light blinding you temporarily. How long…? The sound of the door closing made you come back to reality, only slightly though.

Footsteps echoed in the room, and the mattress sunk slightly on Loki’s side. He was back… Your eyes opened once more, greeted with the sight of Loki’s back. His head was in his hands, and you could see the cogs in his mind turning and working.   
“Loki…” you mumbled softly; the scent of alcohol clung to him like an enveloping shadow. He hummed softly. “What’s wrong?” you asked, receiving no answer. You sat up slightly and reached out for him, but he pulled away before you could touch him. “Loki-,”  
“(Name), don’t touch me…” he mumbled. “I couldn’t convince Odin to save you, Thor had to… I could not control myself around another woman… I don’t deserve you…” He blurted out all at once, shocking you. “Frigga has turned her back on me… I would not blame you if you did the same…” he mumbled.   
“D-Did you… have sex… with the woman…?” you mumbled, trying to take it all in.   
“No…”   
“Did you want to?”   
“Yes.”   
“So why didn’t you?”  
“Frigga caught me…”   
“If you wanted to screw a woman, it would take more than just your mother to convince you otherwise.” You sounded angrier than you were… Wait… Were you angry? You felt numb, not mad or upset…   
“What are you trying to say?”   
“Why didn’t you?” you repeated.   
“I don’t know why!” he yelled, standing up, putting more distance between the two of you. Okay, now you were starting to feel again.   
“Stop trying to hide your feelings from me damn it!” you yelled back, your lungs and voice left weak after that surge of energy. Loki sat down once more,   
“Because… I couldn’t hurt you any more than I already have…” he mumbled, glancing over to you. “Because I don’t want you to cry because of me any more…” he reached over and wiped the tears from your face. You hadn’t even realised you were crying… Now you could feel your lower lip trembling.   
“You do though… You keep hurting me…” you whispered.   
“I know…”   
“Is it because you don’t love me?”   
“I love you (Name), I do.”   
“Then why? Do you think that if you hurt me enough I’ll just walk away and you can go back to hating the world?” you asked. He rubbed his temple and lowered his gaze. “That’s what you want isn’t it…? You don’t think you’re worth love, so you try and try and try to push everyone away.”   
“It’s worked so far…” He mumbled.   
“Because you’re so thick that you can’t recognise the difference between hatred and breaking point!” you said. “Just because someone finds their breaking point it doesn’t mean they don’t love you.” You gently squeezed his hand. “Just stop trying to sabotage yourself…” Loki closed his eyes and lowered his head. You sighed and released his hand. Why did this keep happening? Every time you came close, he would push you away; and it would always happen in a new way. In a way you didn’t expect… In a way you hoped not possible… “Loki… I’ve reached my breaking point…” You mumbled. You could sense the pain he was feeling just hearing you say that. “So you have a choice to make… Either you keep pushing me until I grow to hate you, or you need to do something to show me you actually love me, because even though I know what you’re doing, I cant take it. I don’t know if you love me anymore… and I don’t know if I can keep loving you…” Again tears began to form in your eyes.   
“You doubt whether I love you…?” he mumbled.   
“Yes…” you replied. “I don’t know if you just don’t care, or if you legitimately can’t feel _anything_ …” You were a mess of emotions, not helped by Loki at all. He seemed to only want to cover his own ass. You were struggling to manage every conflicting emotion you were having; the guilt, the sadness, the pain… And he was only concerned with ensuring he could get into your good books… Loki wrapped his arms around you. Initially you tried to pull away, not wanting him to just try to hug you and make it better; however when he lifted you up, you stopped fighting.   
“I wasn’t going to show this to you until you were better… but now seems like a good time…” he said softly, starting to walk out the room. You hadn’t even realised he had disconnected the machines until you didn’t feel the pull from the cords connecting you to them.   
“Where are we going…?” you asked.   
“You’ll see.” He said simply. You sighed softly and rested against Loki. He carried you through the palace and a few outdoor hallways, small gardens leading off of them with seats and potted plants coming out of the stone floor, sunroofs allowing light to filter into the small area. He turned into a seeming hidden passageway between a statue and a wall that led down to a small garden.

This was larger than the other small nooks, large enough to fit probably seven or eight people comfortably as opposed to two or three maximum. Various flowers you didn’t recognise at all, and some looked almost familiar. What did surprise you though was the odd layout of the whole thing. The other areas seemed to be specifically made to accommodate people to sit and rest, or read, or _something_ … This area was different. The flowers and shrubs were planted in a circular design, each new row flowers offering a new vibrant colour. A small mound sat in the middle of the circular garden, the mound surrounded by small, glossy white pebbles.   
“What is this…?” you asked, glancing around. There was a decent size tree in one area, underneath it a small bench. A waterfall was in the opposite corner, the water soothing and cooling.   
“A garden.”   
“No shit.” You said with an eye roll. Loki smirked at your response.   
“A garden for us.” You deadpanned, silently telling him you would need more information than that. “For the _three_ of us.” Immediately you froze, and your mind stopped. The three of you… The _three_ of you… He walked up a small path through the flowers, and came to stop in front of the small mound of dirt. “There’s a seed there that will grow…” He said. No… No you didn’t want to hear anymore. You weren’t ready for a child… You were okay with what happened… A choked sob left your throat. Were you…? Were you okay…? You had rationalised it… You had rationalised it to save yourself the pain and sadness even though it didn’t really stop you feeling… but seeing this, seeing what Loki had done… It just brought it all up again.   
“I don’t want to linger on the past…” You said through trembling lips.   
“So don’t… but you can’t forget or supress it either…” he said softly. Tears began to spill from your eyes and you rested your head on Loki’s shoulder.   
“I don’t know anymore… I don’t know if I’m okay or not… I can’t tell… I don’t want to feel, so I try not to… but then I feel guilty for not feeling, and I feel more than I want to… It’s a vicious cycle…” He patted your back softly, moving to take a seat on the bench.

You curled up silently on his lap, not knowing what to do or say, an all too common situation of late… Loki patted your back, soothing you slightly, but not as much as you wished it would. You were a hot mess.   
“Do you want to be bonded to me?” he asked.   
“I don’t want to die, or spend the rest of my life limp in a bed, Loki…” You mumbled.   
“That isn’t what I asked…”   
“I don’t know… I love you… but you hurt…”   
“Would you prefer to be bonded to Thor?” Your brows furrowed.   
“What makes you ask that?”  
“Just… Yes or no?” he asked.   
“I do care for Thor… bu-…” you stopped yourself, feeling Loki’s body tense. You glanced up to him. His lips were downturned in a scowl and sadness lingered in his eyes. “But this…” you said. “I see your pain and sadness, and I don’t think I could ever consider hurting you like that…” you mumbled, wrapping your arms around him tightly.   
“Do you wish I had the same thought every time I hurt you?”   
“Yes.” He kissed the top of your head softly.   
“I can try harder, from now on…” He said.   
“Loki, please don’t promise things you might not keep.”   
“I _have_ to do better... I _want_ to do better for you…” His fingers laced with yours.   
“I know Loki…” you mumbled softly as he kissed your knuckles. “I believe you…” Did you? Could he actually change? He had been getting better… but then he also had a tendency to relapse… Every time he seemed he would be happy with you, being with you would cause him to do something he shouldn’t… No… it wasn’t a relapse… it was like an overdose. He could only be happy for so long before he took too much and plummeted at a devastating rate. He was like an addict… and you his drug of choice.   
“My Lord.” Someone called from what you thought to be a hidden entrance.   
“What?” Loki nearly growled.   
“Your presence is needed in the healing bay.” He said. Loki sighed.   
“I’ll take you back to my room.” He said, standing up with you still in his arms.   
“Actually, her presence was requested as well.” You could see Loki didn’t trust what the messenger had just said.   
“Fine.” He grumbled, starting to walk.   
“What’s wrong?”   
“Something’s going on.”   
“Like what?”   
“I’m not sure…” he mumbled.

***

Loki was correct to be suspicious. The moment the two of you entered the medical wing, you could sense something was off, and when you were met with Odin in one of the procedure rooms, you only worried more.   
“Put the girl down Loki, you look a fool.” Odin said. There was a nurse and doctor in the room, silently fiddling with a large vial of glowing red liquid.   
“Are you jealous you’re no longer spry enough to manage the weight of a woman?” Loki asked with a smirk. He was deflecting, trying to irritate Odin because he himself was irritated. You gently placed your hand on his chest.   
“Its okay.” You said. He sighed softly and slowly placed you down. You knew you weren’t really strong enough to stand up on your own, so you had to lean on Loki.   
“Before I attempt this ridiculous enchantment on the two of you, I want to try something else first.” He said. Try what? What could he possibly try that hadn’t been tried before now?   
“Why have you suddenly changed your mind about everything?”   
“I haven’t. If I were to do what you wish, she will be forced to live here without another option. What I propose would allow her to leave should she wish.” That was it. He was trusting Loki to lose you. He _wanted_ Loki to be alone.   
“And if I want to stay here?” You asked.   
“Then that is your prerogative.” He replied dryly. The doctor stepped forwards with a gesture from Odin.   
“Why haven’t you tried this before now?” Loki asked, stepping in front of you slightly, psychologically trying to intimidate the doctor.   
“Because it has only just been finished.” He, the doctor, said. “The Allfather placed a small, focused team on the task of developing something to reverse the fatigue. This is what we’ve come up with.” He said, holding up the syringe.   
“Why can’t we just do the other thing?” You asked. “What if I don’t want to take _that_?” you asked, looking at the vial of liquid.   
“You are free to do as you wish; however your readiness to risk your life as well as his is an intriguing notion.”   
“You didn’t tell me you could get hurt…” you said to Loki. Well… you didn’t know that much about it at all really. Loki tried to tell you about it, but you were too exhausted to listen.   
“I won’t-,”  
“You have not done enough research about it Loki. Do not think you can get around everything just because you _want_ to.” Odin said. Loki glared at his adoptive father,   
“And you think sticking her with an untested, unproven substance is the better option?”   
“I never claimed it was better.” The Allfather replied. “Just that it was an option that should be examined and considered.” Loki sighed,   
“It’s okay…” You said. “I’ll try it…”   
“What?!”   
“Good.” Odin cut Loki off before he could protest more. He gestured for you to step forwards, and you did. Loki held onto one of your hands, probably to pull you back to him in case he saw something he didn’t like.   
“This may sting for a moment.” The doctor said. You nodded, offering him your arm.

The doctor injected the liquid into your arm. Instantly lava spread through your body, enveloping your blood, veins and organs in a deep, fire that seemed to thicken your blood and nearly make your hears stop. You crumpled onto the floor and cried out, unable to withstand the pain, which blocked out almost every sense you had. You could tell there were people around you, and that they were talking, but you couldn’t hear them properly, or even see them through your blurred eyes. What had they injected you with?! You could sense that someone, probably Loki, was holding you up, his skin like ice compared to your own. What was happening to you?! You were moved to a bed, and stuck with several more syringes. Nothing made the pain go away. How long were you whimpering and crying in pain? Minutes? Hours…? It didn’t really matter how long it took, all that mattered was that it finally began to stop.

The first thing you noticed was the uncomfortable, cold and clammy feeling all over your body. You had been sweating, probably the entire time, and were still covered in it.   
“Ugh…” you groaned softly as you sat up. Your body was exhausted… but not in the same way it had been. Before you were exhausted without a reason to be, unable to fathom the idea of staying awake for an entire day. Now, while you were tired and sore, the prospect of staying awake didn’t seem like some kind of far off dream.   
“(Name), you need to lay back down.” Loki said, moving from the chair beside your bed. You shook your head.   
“No, I feel fine.” You said. Your voice was hoarse and a little sore, probably from the screaming.   
“You mean it actually worked…?” he asked, surprise in his tone.   
“I guess so…” you mumbled. Loki smiled, but only slightly.   
“Do you remember what happened?” he asked, offering you a cup of water, which you took and sipped eagerly.   
“They injected me… then… Pain. Fire...” you mumbled. He gently rested his hand on your arm, sending an oddly pleasant sensation through your body. Why? Why did you want to moan from him just touching your arm? When he squeezed your arm softly, you couldn’t hold it back, your thighs tightening.   
“(Name)…?” he asked softly.   
“I-I think the injection did something.” You stuttered, trying to keep your slowly building energy from overflowing and forcing you to mount Loki right then and there.   
“What is it?” he asked, standing up.   
“I…” a warm blush covered your cheeks - - though it could have just been from the heat in your own body. “I am uncontrollable horny…” you mumbled. Loki snorted.   
“Is that all?” You instinctively slapped his arm, which you wished you hadn’t, because again the pleasure moved through you, causing another moan to leave your throat. He actually looked a little concerned now. Honestly, this had to be some kind of bad joke. What kind of side effect was this? You go from being lethargic to extremely energized and horny? Ludacris. Suddenly Loki lifted you from the bed. “What are you doing?” you asked, clinging to him tightly, trying to stop your body from squirming in his arms.   
“Helping you with your issue.” He said, kissing your temple. “I have had to sit back and watch for nearly a month as you deteriorated. Do not expect me to wait any longer, please.” He said with a smirk. You rolled your eyes, there was no point trying to stop him at this point, and… did you want to…? You had been unsure of Loki. Unsure of if he cared, unsure if he could change… But when you needed him, he was there… Besides, you were fine now… Everything would be easier… It would make more sense… You were better.

***

Oh, how wrong you were. Loki indeed took you back to his room, and the two of you screwed around – quite literally – for almost six hours. You’d almost forgotten how good it felt to completely lose any and every inhibition; something you had been unable to do since New York… and being in that room alone with him, after everything… it was so wonderful. That’s not to say all you did was fuck. It was a large proportion of it of course, but you had lain in bed together, talked, joked and even planned ridiculous trips that you knew Odin probably wouldn’t allow. It was tranquil. It as the first time in a long time that Loki had been completely genuine and real with you. You’d even managed to actually eat together as well. Loki made it a kind of picnic on his balcony, which inevitably turned to flirting, which then turned to sex. You didn’t complain about his readiness to have sex… For weeks he had been faithful, and even when his subconscious made its need extremely clear, he stopped. Everything, _everything_ finally seemed perfect. Until the two of you finally decided to turn in for the night.

Initially you were fine, but after a few hours of a restless attempt at sleep, you woke up, shaking uncontrollably, nauseas and with a horrendous headache. You could barely make it to the bathroom before dinner returned, leaving a vile taste in your mouth. The cool temperature of the tiles made your body calm down… for about twenty seconds. The sweating returned with a fury and your body felt like it was convulsing it was shaking so much. You threw up again and again, until there was nothing left in your stomach, though that didn’t stop your body from continuing to dry heave. What was going on?!

***Frigga’s POV** *

“Dear,” The queen called to her husband, who was sitting at his desk, head in his hand. He must have heard about it…   
“What is it?” he asked.   
“You have to tell Loki the truth.” She said.   
“He wouldn’t believe me, even if I wanted to tell him.”   
“The premise you used to administer the potion was necessary to get Loki to agree to her having it… but it is also necessary for the ceremony… I told you that before we asked them to start making the serum.”   
“He doesn’t need to know that.” He said. Loki would blame him. That was how it had to be. Frigga still had a chance to control him… Frigga had to be the favoured one, and Odin the hated one. She sighed and shook her head.   
“Tell your son you love him, and that you’ve only had his, and (Name)’s best interest at heart…”   
“He wouldn’t believe me, not after what’s just happened.” He said, standing and starting towards the door. He stopped briefly to kiss Frigga before leaving the room.   
“You’ll regret not telling him.” He didn’t respond

***Your POV** *

You weren’t sure when Loki woke up, or when the healers were called to take you. All you knew was that you woke up in the hospital room hooked up to machines and various fluids… _again_ …   
“It took over your body… as it began to fade, your body couldn’t cope and put you in a state I believe you would know as withdrawal.” Loki said, gently stroking your hair.   
“It won’t work… the serum. It won’t work for long term, will it?”   
“No… Your body will have to withdrawal every day so you can sleep properly…” He said. Tears filled your eyes. You didn’t want Loki to risk himself for you... but that was the only option…   
“Wh-What does it involve? The magic thing…?” you stuttered, trying to hold back your sobs. Stop it. You didn’t want him to see your sadness and worry.   
“It will bond the two of us.”   
“How is it dangerous?”   
“We’re different species... Vastly different ages… and our bodies tolerate different things.”  
“That’s not an answer.”   
“Bonding a human to someone like me could cause either one of us to physically change, and not for the better. You could be brought to my age physically, and humans don’t exactly live anywhere close to nine hundred. And the magic itself could kill you. If it does, then everything, including your illness, could transfer to me, and probably kill me as well.” He said. You were… _shocked_. “That isn’t all, but it’s the worst case scenario.” Now you were beyond shocked.   
“I don’t want to do it… I don’t want to die, but if I were given a choice between dying and possibly killing you, I would rather die.”  
“There is, however a good chance it will work without consequence.” He said, ignoring what you had said. How? How could he possibly think that after all the damn risks he just listed?! “It was a technique we passed down to humans; a way for kings to remain healthy for longer periods of time than usual people. Its remnants still linger in the blood of Midgardian royalty to this day. Considering the unintentional inbreeding between humans, it would probably mean everyone is, in some way or another, related to the original users of the magic. It would mean the spell would be easier to cast now.” You couldn’t do it…   
“Loki, I don’t-,”  
“(Name), please… Don’t ask me to watch you die…” he said. “Because I don’t think I will be able to manage such a thing…” You sighed. Frigga told you that you were getting weaker, not that you hadn’t noticed it already… What would happen if you kept getting weaker and weaker? Would your heart stop? Would your lungs give up, leaving you to suffocate? You wouldn’t want to see Loki like that… Even if he could handle watching you die, you doubted he would chose to stick around the waking world long enough to truly grieve and get over you... You’d both be dead then anyway… A chance of death for the two of you, or a certainty of death for the two of you… That was what you had to choose between…   
“Okay… But I want to know more about it…” you mumbled. He leaned forwards and gently kissed your forehead.   
“I love you…”   
“I love you too,” you smiled. He wrapped an arm around you and took a seat next to you. “What does the bonding actually mean?” you asked. “Am I your wife? Or something else?” Loki chuckled softly.   
“It will be like marriage.” He said. “And a good thing is, you should never get sick again. Not even a Midgardian flu.” You raised a brow. “For us, it will be more like the original magic. You will bind yourself to me, and as long as I am not injured or ill, you will not be either.” He said.   
“Does that mean if you get sick or injured I will too?” he nodded. “You don’t get the man-flu, do you?”   
“The what?” you shook your head,   
“Never mind…” you smiled. Loki kissed your temple.

***

You slept for… God knows how long… When you woke up, you heard Loki talking with someone.   
“I am glad she is well.” Thor… it was Thor…   
“She isn’t well… not yet…”   
“You’ve convinced her to do the ceremony?” Loki probably nodded, because Thor continued, “And she knows the risks?”   
“Yes.”   
“I can’t say I’m thrilled with the idea that either of you could lose your lives… but it has to be done…” He mumbled. “Do you want me to tell mother about what is going on?”   
“I don’t think she would want to know… I haven’t spoken to her in nearly a week.”   
“She’s worri-,”  
“You had a fight with your mother?” you asked, eyes cracking open slightly.   
“I-Well…”  
“Yes.” Thor answered.   
“You have to go apologise…” you mumbled.   
“No, I-,”  
“Loki…” you said. “Please. You know you wont be yourself without her on your side…”   
“(Name)…”   
“After everything she’s done for you and I, are you really going to let your pride is going to get in the way?” You saw Thor smirk out of the corner of his mouth.   
“Very well.” Loki said. You smiled.   
“I do believe I’ve heard phrases on Midgard… ‘Whipped’, I believe is the correct term?” Thor teased. You smiled. Loki didn’t understand it at all,   
“What are you referring to? (Name) has never whipped me, nor I her.” You leaned up and gently kissed Loki, knowing it would probably be easier on everyone to not explain it. “Go with your brother and see your mother.” Loki sighed and climbed out of your bed.   
“He’s not my brother, nor is she my-,”  
“Shut up.” You cut him off, eyes closing again as you snuggled into the warm spot he left behind. You heard Loki chuckle and felt him kiss your head before their footsteps disappeared from the room.

From what Loki had told you, Frigga forgave him as soon as he opened his mouth. You were happy… Even with the unknown of the ceremony, everything seemed to be falling into a happy place that you were comfortable with. Odin still didn’t seem that happy with the prospect of having you around forever, but you didn’t care. Loki, Frigga and Thor were on your side. Odin would either convert after some time, or he wouldn’t. You wouldn’t be loosing any sleep over it. Now that everyone was somewhat on the same side, the preparations truly began for the ceremony. Loki organised everything with Frigga; Odin unwillingly giving them everything they wanted – well, everything _Frigga_ asked for, and after a few days, Loki realised Frigga would have to ask for everything. They couldn’t spend as long planning and organising as you think Frigga would have liked however she seemed content with what had been organised. Loki was actually starting to get sick of the whole thing, Frigga would come to him at all times of the day with new ideas. You had to keep him calm, and when you explained she was probably just excited that one of her sons was getting married, he cooled down and didn’t complain nearly as much. And this time, this time the happiness actually seemed to stay. Unlike the injection, or the other times before with Loki, things remained happy, even if you were barely awake to see them…

***

Two weeks passed, giving Odin enough time to prepare physically for the magic, and Frigga enough time for the rest. A party had apparently been planned, as well as a feast. During those two weeks, the healers had been asked to fix the serum, and they tried. Again and again they tried a revised version of it on you, each time leaving you with nearly the same effect as the first time. You needed to be completely awake and strong enough for the ceremony, so even the short time it could keep you up would be enough. However each time you came down from it, it felt worse and worse as withdrawal symptoms wracked your body for hours at a time. By the third time they came back with a revised version of what you now considered to be a dangerous weapon, Loki wouldn’t allow them to administer it, cursing at them until they left. However he soon made him forget his statements about not trusting the healers when the day finally came; the day the two of you were to be married.

***

You lifted your thin, light shirt, a sharp pain running through your side as the needle was injected into your side, near the back of your ribcage. The liquid burnt as it coursed through your body, but not as heated or painful as it was; once it melded with your blood it hyped you up and offered a pleasant tingling.   
“You’ll have about five hours before the next shot will need to be administered.” You nodded, wary of the withdrawals starting… You’d started wising up and stuffing yourself with water on the days they injected you, because then all you had to throw up was water, and it also helped to dilute the serum in your body.   
“It shouldn’t take that long, and once you’re bonded, it should disappear from your blood.” Frigga said. You turned to face the queen and smiled slightly,   
“So no withdrawals?”   
“No withdrawals.” She confirmed as she approached you, holding something dress shaped that was covered with a large, black cloth.   
“What’s that…?” you asked.   
“A surprise.” She answered, placing it down on the bed before turning back to you with a black sash. “No peeking.” she stepped forwards and gently placed the silky fabric over your eyes before tying it behind your head to hold it there. Two servants proceeded to dress you. It made you feel awkward. People you didn’t know and couldn’t see were dressing you. However, as quickly as they moved their hands, straightening the clothes and whatnot, they were gone. You were given a few moments, which you spent wondering if they had left the room and had pulled a prank on you, before the blindfold was removed.

You faced a mirror, as were a little surprised by the dress itself. It was a silver-white dress, which would have had a ridiculously low plunge neckline, if it hadn’t had chiffon fabric and detailed lace changing it to a scoop neckline, making it a little more modest – even though the sides of the dress, back and your cleavage was only covered by the see-through material. The material of the skirt was heavy and a little bulky, making your curves a little more obvious. It was… _beautiful_ … Frigga stepped forwards and tied a deep turquoise sash around your waist, she didn’t tie it tightly, but the way it clenched your body made you feel uncomfortable. Maybe it was just nerves… She then placed a long, thin shrug over you, a few shades lighter than the sash. One of the maids began fiddling with your hair, pulling it back with some type of Asgardian hairclip with glimmering silver stones.   
“Is all of this really necessary…?” You asked the Queen, still a little surprised by your appearance.   
“Of course it is!” She replied happily. You suppressed a sigh. Was it? You felt over done and nervous about the whole thing. Would the ceremony even work? What if it did, but dropped out? Would Loki like the way you looked? Your brows furrowed. Why was that even on your mind? It was stupid… But what if he didn’t like it? You rubbed your temple. Just focus on the matter at hand… Just get through today, and then deal with insecurities later. “Now.” Frigga said. “Which one?” She held up a felt lined jewellery tray filled with various earrings and bracelets. “No necklaces. I’ve allowed Loki to lend out necklaces before and they’ve been returned broken.” She said with a knowing smile. Amongst the various jewels were two necklaces however that looked familiar; it was the golden shield knot pendant, and the pearls with the crystal flower. You picked both of them up and held them in your hands. He had them the entire time? He gave the pearls back to you… but you thought you’d lost track of them… “I don’t think the gold will match everything else, but I can have it left in your room.”  
“I thought you said no necklaces.”   
“None of _my_ necklaces.” She said with a smile. You nodded, placing the pearls around your neck and doing up the clasp. After you were ready, and Frigga had stopped fussing over your hair and everything else, she walked with you to where the ceremony was to be held.

The doors opened, and you were slightly taken aback. It wasn’t a _grand_ hall, at least not compared to the other halls in the palace, however it was certainly grand enough to accommodate the ceremony for two people with no more than a few friends and family in this world. A hand gently touched your back, making you jump slightly. You turned, a gasp still in your throat, however you relaxed when you saw Loki, a warm smile spreading over his face. He was wearing his usual attire. Black clothes with green and few gold highlights. The two of you didn’t seem to match at all, other than the turquoise and green… In fact, you were wearing opposite colours. White and Black, Silver and Gold… It was kind of fitting though...  
“Hey...” you said. He looked a little lost for words.   
“I’ll leave you two alone…” Frigga said, entering the hall. You nodded, watching the queen go before turning back to Loki. He looked… nervous… well, as nervous as a Loki could look, which wasn’t very much in comparison to normal people.   
“What’s wrong…?” you asked. He wasn’t looking you much of all, his eyes lowered.   
“You look nice…”   
“Thanks.” You smiled.   
“(Name)…” he said, finally lifting his eyes and caressing your cheek. Suddenly you were worried. Something was wrong. What was wrong? Did he change his mind? Did he not want to go through with it after all? “There is no guarantee that this will work,” Loki said. Your heart fell. He didn’t want to… He didn’t want to go through with it… “I want you to tell me that you understand the risks of doing this…” warmth filled his tone. He… He hadn’t changed his mind? Your confidence returned. You slowly reached up and stroked his cheek, he wasn’t unsure… he was worried that you were, or that you didn’t understand… “The strain of a failed ceremony could kill you... and even if it doesn’t there’s no degree of certainty that the bond will last, or that your body will accept-,” you leaned up to softly kiss him.   
“Now you’ve changed your mind about it? Weren’t you the one who talked me _into_ this whole situation?”   
“Well… _yes_ …”  
“Then I’m going to do it.” He opened his mouth but you pressed two fingers to his lips. “If it doesn’t work, if it doesn’t last... I will be happy knowing that I died trying to marry you... or died as your wife.”   
“Don’t talk about dying… _please_ …” he mumbled. You could see the pained tears forming in his eyes, but he would not let them fall. Stubborn ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Sorry... Sorry.... Sorry.. Sorry. Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry. Q-Q
> 
> Sorry this took so long. I needed time off for a few (several... Lots of) weeks. I when I first started writing this, I was doing an animation diploma, and was able to spend lots of time on this. When I started Graphic design, I no longer had that free time. Even when I spent all lesson working, I still had a shit tonne of work to take home. I still managed to keep up with the same amount of writing initially, but I slowly started getting tired and stress until the unintentional hiatus's kept happening. Plus, my family is emotionally draining. Even when I managed to get some time off of school, it didn't really feel like I had time off because of some family issues.. -.- Eh. Anyway. I'm back now. I will be starting Uni at the end of March, so come that time, I will slow updates, but nothing like it has been. Think of it like the simpsons episode when wiggum becomes homers bestfriend. They spend so much time together so quickly that they both start to get exhausted. Once they learn how to calm the fuck down and spread time out, it s a better slow burning friendship XD
> 
> also, since I am coming to an end with this story, I will be starting some new ones. No hints as to what they will be yet. But there will be more stories~~~!!!!
> 
>  
> 
> Now, onto the actual story. I'm a little... Iffy about this chapter. Please please please tell me what you think. I'm afraid it bounces around too much, but... it needed too, but it also may have not needed too... Blarg... tell meee please~!!!!


	35. The Ceremony

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 35

***  
“Then I’m going to do it.” He opened his mouth but you pressed two fingers to his lips. “If it doesn’t work, if it doesn’t last... I will be happy knowing that I died trying to marry you... or died as your wife.”   
“Don’t talk about dying… _please_ …” he mumbled. You could see the pained tears forming in his eyes, but he would not let them fall. Stubborn ass.  
***

Loki began guiding you towards the open double doors. You could see Odin sitting in a large chair at the end of an aisle, Frigga beside him. That was when you noticed it; well it wasn’t so much an ‘it’ as it was a ‘him’, and a lack of said ‘him’. Thor wasn’t there… You had made sure Loki invited him, and even if you hadn’t, Frigga would have. But he wasn’t there… Had he finally had enough? You’d done nothing but hurt Thor by constantly choosing Loki. You’d ignored Thor’s kindness in return for Loki’s pain… You’d chosen Loki… So why did it hurt you to see that Thor wasn’t there? He was your friend - - no, it was more than that… But why was it more than that? It shouldn’t have been more than that… Loki gently squeezed your arm.   
“If he wanted to be here, he would be…” Loki said. That was it. Thor had had enough. Just like you, he reached his breaking point. You couldn’t blame him for that… Loki gently patted your back.

***Loki’s POV***

It hurt him to see her like this… He could see she was in pain; hurt by the fact the Thor had chosen not to show up. But in the back of his mind, he was happy... His warning to Thor about his interference in their relationship had worked… The older brother chose to stay away… But it broke (Name)’s heart at the same time. Her pain almost ensured that her feelings for Thor wouldn’t get in the way. Her doubt for Loki because of Thor’s presence wouldn’t kill either of them during the ceremony. Her health was all that mattered at the time. Getting her well. Thor would more than likely make up for this little incident, (Name) would get over it, and they would settle back into their triangle… He didn’t like the prospect of that… but he would put up with anything, even Thor, to ensure her life and wellbeing.   
“Let’s go…” (Name) said softly. Damn it… She sounded sad… Maybe he could just- His eyes locked with hers for a moment, sadness in her glowing orbs. Loki sighed and wrapped an arm around her.   
“Do you want me to send for him?”   
“No…” Loki’s brows furrowed slightly,   
“Why not?”   
“Because I don’t want to be selfish… I don’t want to force him to stay by my side just in case it doesn’t work out with you…” The sudden prospect of (Name) walking out of his life scared him. Had she’d been considering it? For how long? “I want him to be happy… and that is something I can’t offer him…” He heard her speak, but he was still engulfed in his own worries. She wanted to move on. How could he keep her with him? What would he do if the ceremony worked, but she still chose to move on? He couldn’t just kill himself, because that would kill her. How-, “Loki.” She said sternly.   
“Hmm?” he asked, still partially thinking of something else.   
“Would you like to know why I can’t offer him the happiness he wants?” she asked. His brows furrowed before opened his mouth, but she continued. “Because of you and your stupid head.” She said. He couldn’t tell if she was angry or just irritable. Either way he chose to keep his mouth shut, though that didn’t stop the smirk on his lips. She huffed, surprisingly cutely, and crossed her arms. “Because I want to be happy with you. Because I want you to make me happy.” Loki smiled and wrapped his other arm around her.   
“I wish for the same thing.” He said, kissing the top of her head as all of his worries slowly drifted away.   
“Then let’s go.” She said again, happier than she did the first time.

***Your POV***

Your little talk with Loki made you feel a little more secure with your decision. You leaned up and pecked his cheek as he looped your arm with his. The two of you then began your trek through the hall to Odin.

The ceiling of the hall was high, supported by pillars so wide that you wouldn’t be able to wrap your arms even halfway around one. The walls were golden-white, illuminated greatly by the floor-to-ceiling windows on the left side of the hall, allowing the mid-day sun and shine from the blue water to filter through the lace-like curtains. It was tranquil… peaceful… Loki led you down the aisle marked out by a long rug, the colour of blue ice, contrasting the steely white marble floor and the various colours of candles scattered around the room and hanging from the walls, ranging in shades of white, silver, black and red. You tightened your hold on Loki slightly, the weight of everything suddenly coming to rest on you again. Nerves, anxiety, fear… it all swelled in your stomach. One of two things awaited you at the end of this aisle. Death, or life… You hoped to any God that would listen that it was the latter.

When you came to stop in front of Odin, he held his hands out. Both you and Loki glowed a pale blue before the glow was sucked into Odin’s palms. The magic balled up into his hands, and glowed brighter and brighter with every second. The bracelet you had been unable to remove fell from your wrist before crumbling into dust as the magic did the same, dissipating slowly.   
“The anchor has been removed. I trust knowing what ever happens to you happens to her is enough to keep you inline?” Odin asked Loki, who nodded. The white haired king huffed softly, “We will see…” He mumbled, outstretching his hands to the windows. “Lets begin.” He said.

Thick, blackout curtains fell into place over the windows and the doors slid shut, darkening the whole room. The candles sparked to life, flickering brightly in the darkness. He then reached his hand upward before throwing – something… a coin maybe? It flew upwards and disappeared, ripples expanding from where the coin disappeared. The roof looked like it was a pond of water, reflecting the various candles and figures beneath it. You could hear Odin speaking in a language you couldn’t understand. You presumed it was some kind of spell or incantation, your presumptions were only strengthened when a large, pale moon came into view on the ceiling, along with dozens of stars. It was… stunningly beautiful… and strangely familiar. The arrangement of the stars, the colour of the sky… Asgard had a pristinely perfect night sky, but this was not it… This almost looked like the sky of Earth…   
“Beneath the full moon of Midgard, you come to make these bonds, a bond that cannot be broken, a bond that will last even after death. Your spirits will be forever intertwined, in new lives you will be unable to find peace with anyone other than your bond mate.” The king said. You could see Loki’s brows furrow slightly,   
“What’s wrong?” you whispered.   
“He’s made changes…” Loki replied. Odin cleared his throat, stopping your short conversation.   
“Stepping into this circle-,” a bright blue circle was slowly traced into the ground; inside the circle was another far smaller circle in the middle. Eight trident like arms radiated from the smaller circle, as a type of rune text appeared around the very outside. “Signifies you understand the terms of this bond.” He said. Loki’s hand slipped from yours,   
“I understand.” He said, stepping forwards. The circle changed colours slightly, turning a deep teal with speckles of silver.   
“So do I,” you said, following behind Loki into the circle. This time the circle turned absolutely white, it was so bright that it almost blinded you. The ground and air around the two of you almost seemed to hum, the non-existent voice deep and low, causing reverberation in your ears and your body to vibrate from the pure strength of it. You reached up to cover your ears, the overload of your senses becoming too much to handle. As quickly as the noise and light began, it disappeared. You let out a small sigh of relief; any longer and you were sure it would have either deafened you, or caused your ears to bleed. Loki’s hand found yours. It wasn’t until then that you realised how badly you were shaking, and you could tell the colour had drained from your face, like a weakness spreading downwards from your head. You very nearly stumbled forwards, but somehow you were able to keep your legs strong enough to bare the weight of your body.   
“She needs a break.” Loki said.   
“We’ve only just begun.” He said. “Beside that, it is not possible. Once it is started, it has to be finished otherwise the partial bond will eat away at your bodies.”   
“Five minutes would not do any harm.”   
“Once flesh is dead, it cannot be healed.” What was that called…? Necrosis… or something… Dead flesh… that was what it was… that was what could happen?   
“I’m fine Loki… I can keep going…” You squeezed his hand softly. The concern in his eyes told you he wanted to disagree with you. “Please.” You urged. He sighed before nodding.   
“Continue.” Loki mumbled. You could see Frigga’s concern as well; it was plastered all over her face… Maybe this was a bad idea… Maybe your body wouldn’t hold out and it wouldn’t work… The white of the circle suddenly flickered black, the fire on the candles swaying violently in what felt like still air. Your arms automatically wrapped around Loki’s arm and you took half a step closer to him.   
“Reconsidering and regretting will cut off the flow of energy between the two of you.” Odin said, looking you square in the eyes. “So I would advise you stop your mind from wandering.” He warned. You could tell that Loki was looking down to you, probably wanting to know what it was that made you reconsider the decision to do this… You didn’t want to look at him. You didn’t want to disappoint him. You didn’t want to upset or lose him. You melded comfortably with Loki, the colour retuning to white and the flames calming. “Your bodies, minds, spirits and now destinies have now converged into one. Had the first three not been together, you would not have been able to enter the circle.” The king said. Was that it? Was it done? It would be so awesome if the ceremony were finished. “Now you must mark each other.” Nope. Not done. _Great_. “It’s a symbol that your bodies will carry through this life and any of the following.” He said. “It will be where the magic of the bond will originate and it will be the physical representation of the bond.” Odin offered a small dagger forwards. You were hesitant even to look at it.   
“You’ve got to be joking.” Loki snapped.   
“Do you think I would put her through anything worse than she has already been through?” Odin asked. The man beside you paused to think for a moment.   
“I have to mark her?” Loki asked.   
“Yes.”   
“Does it have to be right now? Or will a mark I gave her suffice?” he asked.   
“As long as it is an intentional mark that can in some way relate to marking each other to signify-,” Odin was stopped when Loki tilted you head up and to the side.   
“I gave her this to show to everyone who considered touching her that she is mine. Will that _suffice_?” he snapped a little on the last word. That was the mark he burnt into you, long since scarred over and far less tender and red.   
“Yes, that is fine.” Odin said before offering the knife to you.   
“I-I,” you glanced up to Loki. He nodded slightly. You took the knife from Odin.   
“What do you want…?” you asked Loki.   
“It’s your decision…” He said, offering you the same area on his neck that he had once burnt his own symbol into you. You sighed softly. Love heart was too obvious and girly. You were certain a smiley face would have only irritated Loki every time he saw it… You didn’t pay nearly enough attention to the symbols around Asgard to recall one well enough to carve into Loki’s skin… Well… all except for one.   
“Loki, I-,”   
“It’s fine (Name). Whatever you’ve decided will do fine.” You nodded slightly and raised yourself onto your toes, pressing the knife firmly but hesitantly to his skin before you started to reluctantly carve.

You tried to make it as quick as you could, the fact that the knife burnt his skin helped that fact because it meant you didn’t have to deal with blood, but it didn’t stop you from noticing the pain build in his eyes slightly. It smelled just as bad as it did before. Burning flesh… _yuck_ … When you were nearly finished, you didn’t know what happened to you, but you couldn’t help yourself…   
“Oh shit…” you mumbled. Loki quickly turned to you, his eyes wide.   
“What? What is it?”   
“I think I made a mistake.”   
“Seriously?!” You couldn’t hide the smile on your face for very long,   
“No.” you said. You saw Loki’s jaw clench tightly, making your smile grow all the more. When he saw your smile, his muscles relaxed a little and you could see a small tinge of amusement in his eyes. After you finished the design, which mimicked your shield knot pendant, you turned back to Odin and handed him the knife, the blade glowing white softly. You saw Loki’s mark begin to glow, and out of the corner of your eye you could see your own do the same, but duller than Loki’s.   
“Trace the marks.” Odin said, picking up a small bowl from behind a grouping of candles. You glanced into the bowl. Instantly you could smell a metallic scent coming from it. That must have been what they took your blood for… Two days ago you woke up to a nurse taking a vial of blood from you, when you asked what it was for, she couldn’t answer.

You reached forwards and dipped your fingers on the liquid. It was nearly the same consistency as blood but had an almost grainy quality to it, like it had sand or some type of powder in it. You turned back to Loki and gently traced the mark on his neck, careful not to move to quickly or roughly over the raw flesh. The glow turned from white to red, matching the shade of the liquid, almost like cellophane over a light. Loki did the same, your mark glowing brighter than before and changing colour the same way Loki’s did. Suddenly your mind went blank, and your head began spinning. You were almost certain you nearly stumbled out of the circle, but Loki just managed to catch you.   
“I-I don’t know what’s wrong…” you mumbled. “I was feeling fine…” You could feel your body shaking and the need to crumble into a small ball and lay on the floor. The only thing keeping you standing up was Loki.   
“She needs to take a break.” Loki insisted again. You could just see Frigga step forwards, but was stopped just before she entered the circle by Odin.   
“If you enter or exit before it finishes, you will die.” The king warned.   
“Her body can’t take much more. The injection is waring off because of the magic, which is draining enough as it is.” The queen said. You glanced up to Loki. He was even more pale than usual, and you could see the exhaustion in his eyes. It was wearing on him as well…   
“Lets just keep going…” you said, standing up a little straighter.   
“You can’t hold onto him for the next part.” Odin said, sounding a little concerned, which concerned you because he never showed concern. You had to think of another word other than concern; it was starting to sound weird. You nodded, shakily straightening to a point where you were able to stand on your own.

Odin looked the two of you over before continuing the ceremony,   
“Give me you hands.” He said. You both offered your hands forward. Odin placed the tip of the sharp blade on one of Loki’s palms before dragging it across his skin. This time it did not burn, it cut into the flesh. Blood pooled in his palm, and you could sense the discomfort Loki felt, however his discomfort was overpowered by your own distress when a searing pain began to spread across your own palm. Warmth spread, in your palm along with a gathering wetness. You were bleeding as well. This was apart of the bond… Odin reached out, using magic to heal Loki’s wound, which healed within a second. Yours did not. Out of the corner of your eye you could see Loki’s eyes widen slightly,   
“Something is wrong. It didn’t work properly.” He said, turning to reach out. However before he could touch you, Odin placed his staff between the two of you.   
“It _has_ worked.” The king said, dragging the knife across Loki’s palm again. This time he pulled away with a sharp inhale. He didn’t expect it, and neither did you. Now the cut on your palm was extended and bleeding rather profusely. You could tell Loki was just about ready to lunge at Odin, irritable and worked up. Before he had the chance to, Odin healed you, taking the pain away. It was only when the pain was gone that you realised tears had formed in your eyes. No wonder Loki was so ready to attack his father, you must have looked completely distressed and in pain. After the cut on your palm disappeared, you noticed the new cut to Loki’s hand was slowly dissolving, almost like it was being burnt away…   
“I took the liberty of switching a portion of the spell…” Loki rolled his eyes, “Now if you run off and choose to injure yourself, you will be unable to ensure her health. Healing yourself will do nothing to help her.”   
“Another leash?” Loki grumbled.   
“Yes.” He replied. Odin gently took both of your hands and tipped them to the side, just enough for a few drops of your blood to fall onto the circle and tridents. Again the light emitting from the circle changed colour, turning gold.   
“You entered this circle apart. Are you now willing to exit together?” the king asked.   
“Yes.” You both said at the same time.   
“You may kiss.” Before you had a chance to even turn to Loki, his hands found your hips and pulled you to him, pressing his lips tightly against yours. You hooked an arm around his neck, your other hand settling on his cheek. He was leaning down slightly, almost forcing you to fall back. You didn’t break for air; the desperate need to have each other controlling you both.

When you finally broke a part, you were both breathing deeply – having apparently forgotten the ability to breath through the nose. You hadn’t even realised the circle had disappeared until you saw sparkling specks of the magic floating up into the air, and disappearing into the faux sky before the sky itself faded away. Loki gently took your hand and kissed your knuckles. Sparkling gold magic spread from the necklace and whizzed all around your body, changing the colours you were wearing. Silver turned gold, and white turned black. The once clear jewels on the flower portion of the necklace turned a deep turquoise, the pearls turning black.   
“Much better.” Loki said with a smirk.   
“And if I liked the other colours better?”   
“Then you shouldn’t have married me.” He said, his smile growing slightly. You rolled your eyes. “The colours will change to match whatever it is you’re wearing.” He said. You smiled,   
“That’s cool…” You said, glancing down to the necklace. You were so caught up in your own little world, that you hadn’t even noticed that Odin left the room, or when Frigga stepped up to the two of you.   
“Come, it is time to go, there will be time to play around later on.” She said, glancing at Loki with a knowing smile before stepping around and heading towards the door. As she left, the room returned to normal, the curtains opened by magic, and the candles receding to one corner of the room.   
“Shall we go?” Loki asked. You nodded.

Loki led you towards the ballroom that the party was to be held in. You honestly didn’t even know why there was going to be a party. Loki didn’t seem all that interested in socialising, and you didn’t know more than a small handful of people. It must have been for show. Loki was technically a prince, and when a prince marries – even if he was hated amongst the people – there was always some form of a party. You would just have to put up with it for a short time because you could already tell by Loki’s slightly slumped shoulders that he wasn’t looking forwards to it at all.   
“What did Odin change…?” you asked, trying to get his mind on something new.   
“Hm?” he asked.   
“In the ceremony.”   
“Oh.” He said. “Generally the bond does not last beyond one life.” He said. “He has altered the spell so we will be together, _forever_.” He said. “Kings of old have had a bad habit of marrying time and time again. They did not stick to one wife at all.”   
“Do you not like the fact that you will have to stick with me…?” you asked softly.   
“No, not at all. I was just surprised by his alterations. Are you unhappy with the prospect of spending eternity with me?” he asked.   
“No.” He smiled widely.

When you reached the large, golden doors of the ballroom, you were forced to wait for… _something._ You weren’t quite sure what you were waiting for, and no one made an effort to tell you either. Oh well… At least Loki seemed happy… That was good… No, wait, was it? Every time he seemed even remotely happy, he would always do something to hurt you… You were now tied for eternity to this man… This man who had done more to hurt you than to help you… This man who constantly tried to ruin everything, to ruin _you_ …   
“You look conflicted…” Loki said, rubbing your back.   
“How long will it be this time…?” you asked.   
“What?”   
“How long will I have before you try to have sex with another woman? Or force me into a situation that I shouldn’t be in?”   
“(Name), I promise-,”  
“You’ve promised in the past…” you interjected. It was the same old conversation… ‘I promise to change, I promise, I promise…’   
“(Name)… I know there are… a great many things I have done wrong… and I keep doing them… I don’t know what’s wrong with me…” Loki mumbled.   
“We’re not good for each other, Loki…” you mumbled, emotionally numbed from your realisation that… that you were poison to each other… and now there was nothing you could do about it.   
“Wh-What?”   
“You aren’t content with happiness… you think there is always the possibility that I will turn on you… So you hurt me to try to prove yourself right… We’re poisonous together…”  
“Are you trying to break up with me? Because if you are, then…” he trailed off, causing you to glance up to the raven-haired prince. “Then I do not think I will be able to continue.”   
“People can’t live in the way we do Loki…”  
“I can’t live without you… I won’t live without you.”   
“Loki…”   
“If you felt this way, then why agree to marry me? Why bond yourself to me forever…?”   
“I don’t know…” Loki looked you over for a moment,   
“I want to tell you a story…” He said slowly. You nodded. “Once, there was a woman. A beautiful, intelligent, sophisticated woman, who married a selfish, pig headed man.” For a moment you thought it was going to be a fairy tale about his history with you… “Her name was Sigyn.” Apparently it wasn’t… “The man constantly cheated on Sigyn, and even had children with another woman. He was cruel and always expected her to remain faithful to him; and she did… She stood by him, even after he revolted against his friends and family, even after he killed, even after he was tied to a stone and a snake left to drip venom into his eyes…” Your eyes widened slightly. “She was always by his side… She would even shield his eyes from the venom with a cup… however, when she left to empty it, the venom would fall into his eyes and he would scream so loud that the earth would quake. Every time she left to empty the cup, she considered leaving him… She wanted so desperately to be free from him, but she found herself unable to, drawn back by the pained screams of her lover…” Loki was silent for what felt like hours…   
“What then? What happened next?”   
“He caused a great ruckus and unleashed the last of days when he finally broke free from his bonds… He helped to lead an army against his friends and family, and… and they died… They all died.” Your mouth fell open. That was it…? So much build up for _that_ ending?!  
“That’s it...?”   
“He never did know why she came back to him… but now looking on it, I know I was thankful every day she was there…” Your heart nearly stopped. He was thankful… _Loki_ was thankful…   
“You… You were the man…?” you asked.   
“In another life…” he mumbled. “The bond offered me a glimpse of my past life… Once you reach the rank of a God, you will only ever be reborn as a that same God…” he said. So that was it… He was comparing you to her, to Sigyn… To the woman he married in another life… To the woman who, like you, had stood by this monster of a man… No… He wasn’t a monster… You could never see him as a monster, because you loved him… A monster is never a monster when you love them… But you knew you couldn’t keep hanging on like this… Something had to change…   
“This is the end Loki…” You said. Immediately his face paled,   
“What-,”  
“This is the end of the cycle of hatred and coldness in your life… This is the last life I will ever live like this. The last life you will ever have the chance to have treated me as you have. Do you understand?” From now, you would consider yourself Sigyn, even if you had been reborn in your life as a human, you were his Sigyn and you would stay by him… but that didn’t mean you were going to put up with his bullshit throughout the ages. “Every ending is a beginning, even if we don’t know it at the time… and this is the end… but also a beginning, _our_ beginning. Do you understand?” you said a little sterner than before.   
“I do…” He looked a little unsure, and hesitant.   
“This is the last time you will have a chance to lie to me. The last chance you have to cling on to your anger and hatred, and the sadness that causes it… The moment we walk through those doors is the moment we start our new lives, and I am telling you right now I won’t be putting up with your shit anymore. You want to have sex then you come to _me_. You feel sad or angry, you _tell_ me and we will deal with it together. You become fed up with life itself, then I will be your crutch and support you until you can manage on your own; and you will do the same for me… but I will not be silent any more as you continually do things to hurt me… Do you understand?” Now he was smiling wide, a sparkle in his eyes you hadn’t seen before.   
“That is the side of you I first found intriguing…” He mumbled with a warm smile. “Your emotions are so easily read because they tend to be plastered on your face… But your resilience and fighting spirit is always unexpected…” You wanted to reach forwards and hug him… but not at the same time.   
“You’re not just trying to butter me up into believing you’ll actually change when you wont, are you?” you asked in one quick breath. He wiped away the tears in you eyes you hadn’t realised were falling.   
“Insecurity…” he mumbled. “And no, I am not simply ‘buttering you up’. If I’m going to put up with you for all the ages, I think it would be best to ensure your happiness… otherwise I am certain you will make my life a living hell…” he said. You smiled and could feel your lower lip tremble, not because you were sad, but because you were happy. Loki pulled you into a soft, warm embrace.   
“You bet your perfect arse I will…” you mumbled into his chest. He chuckled softly,   
“Perfect arse?” he asked.   
“I’ve seen it more than enough to know how perfect it is.” You mumbled. Someone cleared their throat, causing you and Loki to break apart.   
“You two can enter now.” Frigga said softly, the doormen opening the double doors wide enough for you and Loki to pass through.

The room was filled with seas of people you didn’t even bother to attempt to sift through. The only people you recognised were Odin, Frigga and the warriors Frigga brought to Asgard; the others were just there to see the son of the Allfather, and his knew wife. You softly squeezed Loki’s arm and took half a step closer to him.   
“It’s alright.” He said softly, “They’ll look at us for a short while, but will return to their own business quickly.” That made you feel a little better, but still, the idea of being on show for an entire realm’s nobility made you feel self-conscious. Even if over the past few weeks you had started feeling better, your skin was still just a little too sickly pale, your eyes still heavy and black ringed, and your body was just too thin and frail looking in comparison to the Asgardian’s. Luckily however, it was just as Loki said. As soon as you entered the room and descended down the stairs, the vast majority of the guests turned away and almost ignored you and Loki. There were a few people who actually came up and started small, meaningless conversations with the two of you, but they ended just as suddenly as they began. Eventually it ended up with you and Loki walking around with Frigga. You had a sneaking suspicion it was because Frigga was afraid of you and Loki running off during the party and leaving her to deal with the guests. Being stuck at the party didn’t bother you at all, but what did bother you was the one person who was missing, the one person who had been missing for the whole thing… Thor… How was it you could feel so happy and comfortable in your current situation, yet so restless and wanting change? You were at war with yourself over what you wanted… You knew your heart was with Loki, but still something kept dragging your thoughts back to the man who only ever wanted to help you… You’d broken him, just as Loki had broken you; only this time you didn’t get to fix it. You didn’t get to make up. You didn’t get to run your mouth until someone won or was forgiven… Loki gently pulled you to his chest,   
“What’s wrong?” You shook your head, not wanting to drag Loki’s emotions down with your own.   
“It’s nothing. I’m just not much of a party person.” You said with a small smile. He nodded and kissed your forehead.   
“Just a little longer and I promise I’ll think of a reason for us to slip away.” He said. You hummed softly, some more people coming to greet you. It was so boring… More talking about Asgardian nobility and the mothers who were still happy they could attempt to pawn their daughters off on Thor. You could sense Loki’s anger and insecurities grow every time someone said they were glad the elder brother was still available; honestly you just wanted to snap at one of them and tell them to fuck off… but considering you weren’t Asgardian and weren’t really accustomed to noble culture, you decided to keep silent, holding on softly to Loki’s arm in an attempt to calm him was really all you could do. Luckily the few greeters you had, along with their children, became distracted by something; almost scattering like rats. When you turned towards the reason for their scattering, you very nearly forgot how to breathe.

Thor was standing in the doorway to the ballroom, glancing quickly over the variously faces before striding into the room. He looked happy at least… You smiled slightly when Thor’s eyes fell upon you and Loki, however he did not return the favour, instead turning away, looking a little saddened.   
“Go talk to the big oaf…” You couldn’t tell if Loki was actually happy with you going to Thor or not… He didn’t sound it… but you could see the underlying worry in his eyes, whether it was for Thor or your readiness to help Thor, you didn’t know. You pecked his lips quickly before trotting off. Having apparently sensed your approach, Thor ducked away into a closed off area of the ballroom. None of the other guests followed behind the prince, which surprised you a little since they seemed so eager to jump on the crowned prince… You pulled back the drapes and slipped into the room. Thor was already waiting for you, which made you feel a little nervous…   
“Hello…” you said uncertainly. He raised a brow with a small smile,   
“Why are you suddenly so formal…?” he asked. That was formal…?   
“I-uh… well… Why did you look so sad before?” you asked, ignoring his question.   
“Before?”   
“When you entered the room and saw us…” His brows furrowed, clearly perplexed with what you had said.   
“I was not pleased that all the noble families decided to turn their attention to me… In fact one of them began speaking ill of the both of you. That is what upset me, and why – after a stern talking to – none of them followed me… That is all…” it made sense. Everything he said made sense… So why were you having such a hard time believing him…? Maybe it wasn’t that you didn’t believe him, but because you knew you weren’t worth _any_ of the things he did for you. You’d toyed and kept Thor hanging on for what? For nothing… You gave him nothing he deserved, and what he deserved was far more than you could probably offer…   
“Thor… I… I’m sorry… I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to hurt you… I’m really no better than Loki was… playing with your emotions and feelings-,”  
“Where has all this come from (Name)…?”   
“You weren’t at the ceremony… I haven’t seen you in ages… I just… I just thought…”   
“Would it have made you happier if I had been there?”   
“Well… I… Yes.” You said.   
“And that is why I had to stay away, any hesitation from you would have killed both of you, and even if he hates me for saying it aloud, I do love my brother.” He paused for a moment. “I told you how I feel about you back on Midguard… and that will not change (Name),” That piece of information nearly knocked you over, “but I will respect the fact that you and Loki are married; so do not feel bad (Name). You have done nothing wrong by me.” Your jaw clenched slightly, not quite believing him.   
“I have-,”  
“The heart is a fickle thing… and I know that. I have made my choice, and you have made yours. You have no reason to feel bad for that.” You stepped forwards and gently wrapped your arms around his broad chest.   
“You’re too good to me…” You mumbled. He chuckled softly and stroked your hair,   
“Perhaps.” Everything seemed right… Which was completely unexpected. Nothing ever usually turned out right. Nothing ever worked out. It was a nice change-  
“(Name).” Loki said. Shit… How many times had Loki caught you with Thor and turned into something it wasn’t? How many times had you paid for something that didn’t happen? Your entire body tensed and you hesitantly turned towards Loki, half expecting him to be angry… but he wasn’t… “Dinner is about to be served. I suggest we return to the party.” You nodded,   
“Okay.” Thor released you from his embrace after a small glance from Loki. You couldn’t quite tell if it was a warning glance, or just an, ‘it’s time to go’ kind of thing. Thor didn’t seem bothered by it, and Loki didn’t let any anger show, so you decided it was probably the latter. Loki linked your arm with his and guided you back into the room, Thor following beside the two of you.

All the guests were picking from various platters carried by the servers, along with countless flutes of what you assumed to be alcohol. As one of the servers passed you managed to snag a glass. It was heavy considering the small amount of alcohol in it; you presumed it was some type of heavy and expensive crystal glass. You examined the perfectly clear liquid. Maybe it wasn’t wine… You took a sip. Okay, it was definitely wine, and it was _strong_. You’d had alcohol before, but nothing even remotely as strong as the wine from Asgard. It’s scent was so sweet, and pungent, but the wine itself – other than the alcoholic punch – was subtle. It was _good_. The look you received from Loki when you downed the rest of the glass was so funny you nearly spat it back out.   
“What?”   
“I’ve never seen a human drink an entire glass of this before without immediately collapsing.” He said, taking a mouthful himself. You laughed softly, feeling the wine going to your head almost immediately. It was surprisingly nice. Getting drunk never seemed like something you were all that interested in, but right now it seemed like getting a little tipsy was fun. It drew the tiredness from your body like poison is drawn from a wound, and suddenly you were pepped up and ready for anything.

Loki walked around the room a little with you, attempting to waste time between the amuse-bouche and the actual dinner. Your hand gently skimmed up Loki’s arm, completely uninterested by the food. It was the first time in weeks you were actually able to enjoy his company without being exhausted or high on drugs that completely screwed you around. Loki smirked, his arm wrapping around you tightly.   
“Do you wish to leave early?” Loki asked his hand moving lower on your body to caress your waist and hip.   
“It’s fine.” You said. “You and your mother put in a lot of work to get this ready. I don’t want to be disrespectful.” Loki gently nuzzled your neck.   
“Do you feel horny?” he whispered softly. A deep heat spread over your cheeks, and probably radiated from your entire body as well.   
“N-No.” you stuttered the lie out, but only just.   
“Are you sure?” he asked, gently licking your neck. “It should be a side effect of the bonding.”   
“What?!” You said a little louder than you should have, drawing a few glances from surrounding guests.   
“I told you there were lots of side effects, but I only listed the most severe ones.”   
“Why would getting horny be a necessary side effect?” you asked.   
“The kings would tend to marry younger brides, to ensure their heirs are…” he trailed off, “to ensure their lineage continues undisrupted, they-,” you elbowed him in the side, already guessing what he was going to say. The horny old men needed their new wives to screw them early enough in life to ensure their heirs. “What was that for?” he grumbled.   
“I’m sure you were ecstatic when you learnt that it was a side effect.” You said.   
“If I was?”   
“Then you’re just a dirty old man.” You teased. Loki smirked.   
“I’m _your_ dirty old man.” He said, his arms settling around your waist. You rolled your eyes.

***

After several hours of Loki trying to fuck you in front of everyone, you were finally able to slip away, Frigga taking it upon herself to apologise to the few people who wanted to, but didn’t get the chance to meet the two of you, probably because she could sense Loki’s growing frustration. The fact that you ‘accidentally’ managed to run your hand over his crotch a few during dinner didn’t help at all. Lets be honest though, you found it incredibly funny watching him struggle to control himself during the whole thing. However now Loki was dragging you behind him as he quickly walked towards his room, you were having more fun than before. Your feet could barely move fast enough to keep up, partially due to your continuous and uncontrollable laughter. Why were you so giddy? Maybe it was because of the four glasses of wine you had over dinner alone. Loki stopped to open the door, and you took that chance to wrap your arms around him and rest your weight on his back. He chuckled softly and unhooked your loose arms from his neck and pulled you inside.   
“I think perhaps we spent a little too much time at the party.” He said, twirling you around. Because of your own sluggish reaction time and groggy mind, you stumbled and nearly fell over.   
“No, it was fun… Well… when the guests weren’t being dicks…” you mumbled, swaying slightly. Loki sighed softly and ran his hand through your hair, undoing the styling and taking out the clips.   
“I think you should rest…” He said. You shook your head and wrapped your arms around his neck, raising yourself onto your toes in an attempt to match his height - - which you couldn’t quite manage.   
“No.” you murmured, gently leaning up to kiss him. “No, not yet.” You pressed yourself to him, his hands moving to your lower back to keep you there.   
“(Name)…” he groaned softly as you began unbuttoning his shirt and gently kissing, sucking and nipping his skin. He cupped your cheeks and pulled you back to kiss your forehead, then your temple, then your cheek, and then caught your lips. He began backing you into the nearest wall to the two of you, your fingers tangled in his hair to try to ease him back a little… but, well… you didn’t _actually_ want him to stop. Loki hitched up the long, heavy skirt you were wearing and caressed your thighs and backside before lifting you up, your legs wrapping tightly around him, your back to the wall. You were silently cursing the thin pair of underwear confining your womanhood. Why was underwear even a thing? Surely in a dress as heavy and long as the one you were wearing, you could get away with no underwear at all. Yep... too much wine. Arguing about the effectiveness and usefulness of underwear was a tell-tale sign of too much wine… You gasped for air when Loki broke the kiss and moved to place you on the bed. You put your hand back, readying to stop yourself from falling, however it made a noise you weren’t expecting… A crunching, crumpling sound - - like paper. You pulled back from Loki, which you could tell irritated him slightly – instead he moved to your neck and breast. You struggled for the paper, which almost tore as you pulled on it because of Loki placing your body almost completely on top of it. It was a note. Loki tried to reach forwards and tear your dress apart, but you stopped him. “What…?” he asked. You turned the note around and started reading.   
_‘(Name),_  
I am well aware how awkward this may be, but, my dear, there is a present in the bathroom for you. I promise both you and Loki will love it.   
Frigga.’   
You raised a brow. “What is it?” Loki asked again, taking the note from you and taking a seat beside you to read it. You stood up and kissed his forehead,   
“I’ll be back in a minute.” You said, heading for the en suite. Loki tried to keep you in the bed, but you assumed with the promise of a present he allowed you to leave.

You closed the bathroom door and glanced around the mid-size room. A rather large gift box, tied together with a silken green bow, sat on the basin. You picked the light box up and shook it slightly. Something sounded like metal hitting metal, as well as fabric and tissue paper. You ran your hand over the smooth box before pulling on the bowtie and opening it. What was lain out in the box was an extremely scant outfit for, you hoped, you. The idea of Loki wearing such a thing – while amusing – wouldn’t have gone down well with him at all. The outfit was in two pieces - - wait, what were the chains for…? Your brows furrowed as you held it up to your body. It was like a black bikini, a black bikini that had the cups on the bra slit open, which would more than likely show your nipples, unless the extremely thin gold chain holding the slits together actually held… The additional chains probably joined the G-string and the bra through the metal rings in the material. You honestly didn’t think a place like Asgard would even think about making something like this… You did note that even though it wasn’t on, it didn’t look like it was going to cover all of your breasts… and the G-string looked like there was less material used to make the whole thing than there is to create a single glove. A sudden knock on the door made you jump.   
“Are you alright?” Loki asked.   
“F-Fine. Just give me a minute.” You stuttered.   
“What is the gift?” he asked.   
“Oh… You’ll see…” you said. “Barely…” you added, hinting to how completely skimpy the outfit was. Somehow you managed to squeeze into the lingerie, and just as you had guessed, your nipples were very nearly visible, your breasts barely covered, and your womanhood was left feeling overexposed. You finished the piece by connecting the gold chains from the waist of the underwear to the band of the bra, the cool metal skimming across your stomach. You paced back and forth in the room, anxiety hitting your stomach. You were so damn nervous... Why?! It wasn’t as if you hadn’t had sex before... it wasn’t as if you hadn’t been alone with him before... But it wasn’t as if you were his wife before either...   
“(Name), I’m starting to get worried…” Loki called. He sounded farther away than before, he was probably on the bed. You sighed softly and rested your hand on the box. There was something else… Your head turned as your fingers curled around something. Your pendant… The Shield Knot pendant… You reached to the back of your neck and unclipped the pearls before slipping the old necklace over your head, the gold pendant coming to rest between your breasts. Just as Loki had marked you, you marked him. It may have been a common symbol on Asgard, but it felt like yours… Your fingers gingerly played with the cool metal pendant. This symbol was yours, just as Loki was. Just as you were his… You couldn’t help but smile as you looked in the large mirror. Even if you were slightly too thin, to sickly, too tired looking… he wanted you… and you wanted him.   
“I’m coming.” You called. You took a deep breath, and opened the door…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Hides- I do good? You think I do good? Tell me... Please...?
> 
> Please let me know if you think this chapter worked. I spent forever trying to come up with a ceremony for Odin to perform and I spent so long on it I was afraid it was going to be too long -- but now reading back over it, I think it's too short Dx and I also tried to get my explanation for some stuff in, like why reader-chan is almost drawn to Loki (because history repeats itself in some ways) and... yeah... I'm not sure if it all worked... 
> 
> Also, get ready for the lemon of the century ladies XD (I probably shouldn’t say that, just in case it’s not as good as I hope it will be…) Also, I don’t know if its true, but the candles colours have meaning, ranging from cleansing energy, removing negative energy, to binding, love and some other stuff ^^ Just thought it would be interesting for you to know~
> 
> Uuuum... what else...? Not much... just lemme know what you think~!   
> (There's a maximum 2 more chapters left!!! I may finish it off in the next chapter alone if I'm able to make it work without too much leftover~)


	36. A Night You'll Never Forget II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 7,000 words, 90% sex. I think I did well with the ratios, don't you agree?

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 36

***  
You couldn’t help but smile as you looked in the large mirror. Even if you were slightly too thin, to sickly, too tired looking… he wanted you… and you wanted him.   
“I’m coming.” You called. You took a deep breath, and opened the door…  
***

Loki’s jaw nearly hit the ground when he caught his first sight of you. You shifted slightly, nervous to be so exposed. As his eyes scanned your body, you could feel you nipples harden, and a dampness form in your nether regions.  You felt a little but like you did back in the tower; a lamb being circled by a big bad wolf… but you weren’t scared, not this time. You stepped forwards slowly, knowing that every second it took for you to reach him was another second of torture. Was it bad that you loved torturing him in such a way? You weren’t a sadist at all... but knowing how desperately he wanted you turned you on... Just as you reached the bed Loki tried to stand up but you forced him to remain sitting. He tried to reach up to touch you, but you caught his hands and gently pushed them away.   
“(Name)…” he growled desperately. You were well aware of the growing hardness in Loki’s constricting pants, but you wanted to tease him some more, like you had in the beach house. You rested your knee on the bed beside him, before you moved to straddle his lap completely. Again he tried to take hold of your body, but you quickly pinned his hands beneath your knees.   
“No touching.” You whispered, your lips barely a millimetre from his. You leaned forwards to gently press your body against his, forcing a low groan from his lips. Your hands roamed over his chest before moving down to slowly unbutton his pants. The closer your hands came to his member, the more certain you were that you were about to lose your mind in lust. No touching... even though you wanted him to touch you so desperately.   
“(Name)…” he groaned again, bucking up against you.   
“Shhh...” you cooed while softly guiding him to lay back on the bed. Another groan left his lips as your hips pressed tighter against his. Slowly you moved down along his body, his hands remaining still. You kissed and licked along his hip line as your hand finally indulged him and began stroking his manhood. The relieved moan that left his lips made absolutely certain that you were soaked through your underwear, your juices running down your legs as your entrance throbbed with anticipation. You pumped him a few times, your other hand moving to stroke your lower lips and tease your clit. Out of the corner of your eye you could see Loki watching you intently. You smirked and kissed the tip of his member, causing it to twitch and throb in your hands.   
“Stop teasing...” his voice was low and warning. You crawled back up his body, allowing his erect member to glide across your clothed breasts and stomach, before starting to tease him with your entrance through the thin fabric hiding you from him. Clearly it frustrated him because his hands quickly moved the thin material out of his way before he thrust his hips upwards. You released a soft, pleasure filled sigh as he entered you.

Loki’s hands moved to your hips as he moved you along his length. You were moving so slowly, and yet you were already having trouble keeping your breathing steady.  The two of you had sex a few weeks ago... but he felt too big. He felt bigger than he did then... How was that even possible? Your hands rested against his lower abdomen to move your hips up and down more freely. Loki groaned as he leaned up to capture your lips. The sudden kiss forced you to slow slightly, but not enough to deprive you of the pleasure filled sensation. You hummed softly as your hands moved to his neck, the tips of your fingers tangling tightly in his hair. A needy groan left his lips, signalling his desperation for you to move faster, and of course you did. One of his hands stayed on your hips as the other skimmed all over your body, desperately grabbing and teasing your body. More moans caught in your throat and you could feel the hoarseness already threatening to ruin your ability to speak; but you tried to pay it as little attention as possible, instead focusing on Loki, on his thrusts, on his manhood sheathed deeply within you...

You could feel your body slow, unable to keep up due to the overwhelming pleasure radiating from your abdomen. Loki tightly wrapped his arms around you as he sat up so he could lay you down on the soft mattress.  Quickly you lost the ability to even moan, and found yourself needing to cling closely to Loki. You couldn’t stop the pressure from building in your stomach.  God you wanted it to last longer… You weren't even naked yet and it felt like you were about to reach your end! You gritted your teeth and softly eased Loki away from your body, regardless of how much you wanted him.   
“What's wrong…?” He asked, huffing softly as he tried to catch his breath.   
“I just need a minute...” you breathed heavily. Loki hummed and ran his hands up your thigh, his thumb stopping to tease your clit.  A moan left your throat as your hips jerked against his hand and member. You could tell that your uncontrollable movement is what Loki wanted; hell, you wanted it too... but no... not yet! Tightly held onto his shoulders to stop yourself from moving.    
“(Name)...?” You really wanted to try something… But the idea of actually asking for it made you nervous. The only time you had actually seen him do it was that night in the cells all those months ago.  The idea of trying something you'd seen that night made your stomach churn, but you wanted to… You almost _had_ to. It would – hopefully – help to remove the foul taste that night left. It would help you move passed it once and for all.    
“H-How many solid illusions can you make...?” You asked shyly, avoiding eye contact.    
“What…?” He asked, clearly surprised. He used doppelgangers to hold Thor back... How many could he make?   
“How many of you could physically touch me at once…?” You asked, even more nervous than before. Loki chuckled softly and lowered himself so his forehead rested on your own.   
“Four...” he replied softly, trying to capture your lips.  After a few failed attempts, his strong hands pulled you tightly against his body, allowing him free access to your mouth in your moment of surprise. He sat back up, pulling you onto his lap as he did. That was when you felt it. There was one too many hands caressing and stroking your body... The alien hand ran down your back and pulled at the waist band of your underwear. “But perhaps we should start with two...?” He suggested, glancing to his duplicate. You followed his gaze as a hue of red coloured your cheeks.  It was strange having two Loki’s surrounding you, their arms wrapped tightly, protectively, around your body as they both tried to fight back their obvious need to just throw you on a bed and have their way. You nodded,   
“Yes...” you whispered softly, amazed your voice worked at all. The second Loki, the one that had appeared behind you, turned your face away from the original and kissed you deeply as he unclipped the black bra, his hands slipping around your body to tightly squeeze your breasts. The original slipped the bra from your shoulders and unclipped the chains joining it to your underwear. Your fingers tangled in the duplicates hair as his fingers slipped into your underwear and began stroking your slick lower lips. The original Loki kissed down between your breasts and stomach as his hands began fiddling with the fabric between your legs. You vaguely heard something tear before he hiked the underwear up to your hips, leaving your womanhood bare. Okay, he would owe you some new lingerie... His hands then moved over the back of your thighs and found your backside. A whimper built in your throat. You could barely keep up with two Loki’s... It was hard to imagine what _four_ would be like. They both chuckled, your hips rocking forwards to try to get friction beyond the teasing amount the duplicate offered you.  Your entire body shook when they both slipped their fingers inside of you. You broke the kiss and moaned uncontrollably.  The feeling of embarrassment washed over you. You were shamelessly moaning, begging them for more and it caused your entire face to heat up. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if they coordinated themselves and moved at the same time... but they didn’t. They didn’t offer you a single moment to catch your breath or steady yourself. As one pulled out, the other entered you deeply; and the original Loki wouldn’t leave your clit alone! Did he actually want to you finish before he had a chance to?! Eventually you gained the impression they were doing it on purpose. They wanted to get as many moans out of you as they could... The mere idea that these godly men were working so damn hard to ensure your pleasure set you off even more. Again tightness and the threat of release built in your body, but again you were denied that ultimate pleasure as both of them pulled their long fingers from your womanhood. “Damn it!” your voice cracked and squeaked as you whined. The original Loki gently kissed your temple.   
“Calm yourself...” he said, stroking your hair. He obviously didn’t understand... It was starting to hurt now... Forcing you to wait like this was _torture_. It was impossible to describe how wet you were and how ready and wanting you were to finally climax... The Loki behind you placed his hands at the back of your thighs and lifted you up, allowing both himself and the Loki in front access to your womanhood. You gasped softly as you tried to find a comfortable position between the two of them, but eventually gave in to the idea that there was no real comfortably position. The original Loki kissed you deeply, taking your breath away even more than he already had. “Ready?” he asked, and you nodded almost instantly. You were so ready... you were ready five damn minutes ago! Loki pecked your lips once more before they both moved.

Nothing could prepare you for both of them entering at once.  A mixture of pleasure and pain cycled through your wet core, and you couldn’t stop the loud, pleasure filled moans from leaving your mouth. It took a moment for your inner walls to adjust to the feeling of two long, hard members within you. Your womanhood was throbbing, which clearly offered the two Loki’s pleasure, because you could feel their members twitching, pulling your already stretched walls in different directions. Your head rolled back,   
“God fuck me...” you moaned. When they _finally_ started to move, the feeling increased tenfold. Your nails dug into the shoulders of the original Loki because you were unable to completely comprehend the sensations running through you. You did notice their lips and teeth over your skin and their hands all over your body. You were gasping for air, your lungs not working well enough to take an adequate amount in. The original Loki laid back, pulling you on top of him as the other maintained his position behind you. The doppelgangers hands settled on your hips to hold you still as they both continued pounding deep into you. They moaned your name over and over, but you couldn’t pay them the same courtesy, too overwhelmed with pleasure to do anything. Your muscles tightened and you bit your lower lip as they finally, _finally_ , allowed you to release. Your entire body was engulfed in pleasure filled spasms. Your hips jerked uncontrollably as a moan echoed through your throat. The Loki’s gripped you tightly from all angles as they released. It took a good three minutes for you to come down and your head to stop spinning.

The second Loki moved out of the way so the original could lay you down on the bed. Each of them took up a place beside you. You hummed softly as they wrapped their arms around you and the room began to fall silent, no longer filled with the panting and desperate moans or the sound of flesh connecting with other flesh as they thrust deep into you. Your entire body shuddered just at the thought. Loki chuckled, though by this time you had lost track of which one it was,   
“How was that?” He asked, gingerly tracing his fingertips over your breast and nipple. Your fingers reached back to tangle in the hair of one of them, your free hand tracing the lines of the others muscular yet still slightly slender stomach.   
“Amazing....” you mumbled with a smile. Loki chuckled again and stroked your hair,   
“Would you like to go another round...?” he asked. You glanced up to him with a smirk on your lips,   
“Only if you think you can keep up with me.”

***

By the early morning both you and Loki were exhausted and laying breathless on the bed. His body was laced with yours so much that you could barely move. Never had you felt so completely fulfilled before. Somehow you had managed to keep up with Loki, your bluff nearly backfiring halfway through the night when you felt so exhausted you could have happily passed out atop of Loki, his manhood still inside of you and fully erect. However somehow, just somehow you managed to stay awake long enough to ensure the both of you were satisfied. The doppelganger of Loki disappeared after the first few times because he was unable to maintain the focus needed to keep him materialised; and you were certain if he had stuck around, you wouldn’t have lasted it as long as you did. Your first day as a married couple... it was perfect...

***

You woke up in a bed that was not your own. Well… the bed you fell asleep in wasn’t your own either… or was it? It was Loki’s bed, and you were now his wife… so it was yours too… right? Either way, you woke up in a bed you didn’t recognise. Loki’s warmth was still beside you, and tangled all around you, so at least you hadn’t been kidnapped - - or maybe you had and they just decided to bring Loki along as well… When you rolled over, Loki grunted softly and shifted, his green eyes cracking open slightly.   
“Morning…” You mumbled, your voice hoarse from a night filled with moaning and screaming. Loki smiled, probably proud with himself that he had made you scream so loud your voice didn’t want to work.   
“How are you feeling?” He asked. You hummed softly, your chest crackling slightly. You were sore, exhausted, still tingling, tired, but most of all content…   
“Awesome…” you said with a wide smile. He chuckled softly and wrapped his arm around your waist. “Where are we?” you asked,   
“In one of the houses the royal family own.” He said. “It was the second part of Frigga’s note, which you didn’t read.” Your brows furrowed.   
“There was no second part to her note…” You said.   
“When you passed it to me, the note changed. Frigga has magic, just as I do.” He explained already knowing you were going to ask how ink could change on paper.   
“So why are we here?”   
“For a honeymoon.” He said with a smile. “Though it will only be for a day or two.” You smiled and nodded.   
“What will we do while we’re here?” His lips quirked upwards,   
“Well. We can go out and enjoy the sites; go to a small lake and waterfall, wander through the forests… or we could remain in here for the whole time.” He said as his fingertips skimmed down your body to gently stroke your womanhood. You forced the smile on your lips to dissipate.   
“I would prefer the first choice.” You said, wriggling free of his grasp to stand and leave the bed in search of clothes.   
“ _Seriously_?” he asked, confused and clearly disappointed. You stumbled upon a closet and entered, flipping through the clothes.   
“Yep.” You pulled a breezy dress off the wrack as well as a set of clothes for Loki, which you threw at him. You wouldn’t tell him you weren’t wearing underwear, or that you planned for the tour of the various places to be filled with sex. You wanted it to surprise him, and make him suffer. He picked up the clothes and looked at them quizzically.   
“ _Seriously_?” he asked again. You entered the closet again and pulled the dress on, quickly combed your hair, and then stepped out again. He hadn’t moved. He was still sitting on the bed, confused and pouting slightly.   
“Come on… I wanna see the waterfall…” Loki had a knack for sensing what you were thinking… so you had to – rather simply – not focus on the idea of him fucking you under the waterfall. “I promise I’ll make up for it…” You said as you moved to the bed so you could peck his lips. He glanced up and eyed you for a moment before sighing.   
“Fine…” he grumbled. You smiled wide and took his hands, helping him out of the bed. As you headed for the door, Loki was just able to stumble into his clothes as you exited the house.

When you made it outside, Loki wrapped an arm around you and led you through the vast estate. Back on Earth, a home with land such as this would have probably cost tens of millions dollars, and even more once you count the costs of having it maintained... It was weird. You didn’t grow up with money. You weren’t dirt poor, but it was manageable... The extravagance of Loki’s life seemed so completely beyond what you could even imagine. You were aware of his champagne taste when you first met him just because of the things he surrounded himself with... but it all seemed insignificant in comparison to the full effect of his royal family...

The gardens surrounding the house were maze like, and displayed what felt like the full force of Asgard’s flora. Birds and insects fluttered around the softly sweeping air, bringing with it the sweet scent of flowers and savoury scent of the earth and grasses. The sounds of something like a cow and various other animals reached your ears, along with the soft hum of Loki’s breathing and heart. You walked for a few minutes before you entered a long path with walls made of trees and a roof made of leaves. No wind could break through the dense tree trunks, no light could pass through the blankets of leaves, and you were almost sure no animals inhabited any part of this path.  The ground beneath your feet was soft, cold and unappealingly slimy. Your nose scrunched up as you glanced down to the thick layer of slowly decomposing leaves. You glanced back over your shoulder at the entrance to the path. It was so bright, almost blindingly so, and yet the path you were on was dark, the air unsettling thick and nauseating. Unease settled in your stomach and you clung tighter to Loki. He kissed your temple and squeezed your arm softly,   
“The path is old, no one uses it so there is no need for it to be maintained... Don’t worry, nothing will jump out and get you.” He said. You hummed softly and nodded.

Loki being beside you helped to keep your head about you, but the looming darkness still touched your heart in an unpleasant way. It took all your strength not to sprint out when you finally caught sight of the end of the pathway - - not that you saw it until Loki pulled the vines and leaves hiding it away anyway. The dark, terrifying path had led to a large opening. The ground turned from decomposing leaves to fine dirt that shifted with the slightest movement. Trees still surrounded the opening, but were less dense, and thinner at the top, allowing air to flow into the area, and light to stream down in bright rays. A decent sized lake stood between the borders of the trees and vegetation, along with a waterfall that supplied the crystal clear water to the pool. The ground was growing warmer and warmer as you came closer to the edge of the water; almost as if something underground was supplying warmth to the water, like a hot spring. You hadn’t even realised Loki had stopped walking until a gust of wind made your skin tingle under the cold condition. You glanced back to him; his eyes were squarely locked on you.   
“What?” you asked, almost shyly. He shook his head,   
“Nothing.” He smiled. You raised a brow,   
“What were you looking at? I didn’t sit on anything, did I?” you brushed your backside, afraid there was a stain of some sort on the dress.   
“Am I not allowed to simply watch my wife?” You smiled wide, already you had taken a liking to him calling you that...   
“Do you watch me often when I don’t know it?” The smile on his face told you he probably did, but just didn’t want to quite admit it.   
“It’s just much better while you are awake.” He said. You rolled your eyes and turned back to the water.   
“Can we go swimming?” you asked. He stepped up beside you and nodded as he kissed your neck.   
“Thor and I used to when we were children.” You smiled widely.   
“Good.” You stepped around him, pecking his cheek as you did, before stepping across the edge of the lake to the side of the waterfall; Loki sighed, clearly sick of the whole situation already. You couldn’t help but smirk as you continued to watch him out of the corner of your eyes. He was removing his shirt, and unbuckling his belt, irritation still in his eyes. You dipped a toe into the water. It was warm, pleasantly warm. Not too cold, nor too hot. You slipped the thick straps from your shoulders, glancing down at the water,   
“Is it always this temperature?” you asked as the dress fell from your body into a puddle on the floor.   
“Ye-,” you looked back up at Loki. He was frozen, eyes wide, mouth open and still partially dressed. Even though you would have preferred him completely naked, you had to admit he looked damn good without a shirt…   
“So we can come swimming tonight and it will still be like this?” you asked, sweeping your arms out. You weren’t entirely sure if you were gesturing to the pool or yourself in that moment; you decided to leave it up to Loki’s imagination - - though you did remember to bend your knees just enough and pop back up to make your breasts bounce...   
“I certainly hope so…” he said, his green eyes wandering over your body.   
“Good.” You said, before stepping into the lake and disappearing under the vibrant blue water.

The stream from the waterfall was audible even underwater, and the strangle change in colour from viewing it from underneath was strange, but nice. Eventually your lungs burnt with a need for air, and you were forced to resurface. After wiping the water from your eyes, you came to realise Loki wasn’t there anymore. His clothes were still on the shoreline, but he was not… Your brows furrowed slightly and you glanced around for him. He was nowhere in sight.   
“Lok-,” something tightly snagged your waist, and the surprised gasp that left your lips as you went under allowed water to fill your mouth - - and probably your lungs as well. You desperately tried to get back to the surface, but it was no use. The harder you tried to reach the top, the further it seemed from you. Suddenly the thing that grabbed you wrapped itself around your stomach. It felt like arms… and a body behind you… You glanced over your shoulder. It was Loki. Of course it was Loki. It was _always_ Loki. He caught your chin with his hand so you couldn’t turn away and kissed you deeply. If you didn’t feel like you were going to drown, you may have considered it pleasant - - romantic even… But the pain in your chest told you to get the _fuck_ out of the water… so you did the only thing you could, which was to use Loki’s stomach to kick off and return to the air. You knew it would probably irritate him, and hurt him a little… but after weighing up the idea of an irritable Loki and death, you decided an irritable Loki was probably best.

When you reached the warm air, you gasped heavily before breaking into a fit of coughs and splutters. You just managed to get to the edge of the lake and hold onto the stone retaining wall. Maybe jumping in the deep end with Loki around wasn’t a smart thing to do… Loki appeared a few moments later, hair over his eyes and breathing heavily. He flicked his hair back with his hand before turning to you,   
“I know I surprised you, but was there really any need to kick me in the stomach?”   
“You nearly drowned me.” You said, body trembling. His playful irritation disappeared, replaced with concern as he swam over to you. He moved the hair that had stuck to your face away before wrapping his arms around you so you no longer had to keep yourself above the water level by holding onto the sharp and painful rocks.   
“Then next time don’t get me so excited…” He mumbled, holding onto you tightly. You hummed softly and hooked your arms, and legs, around him. “ _That_ is certainly one way to not help the situation _at all_.” He said. You smirked slightly against his skin, feeling his partially hardened manhood brush against your leg. You closed your eyes and rested your head on his chest.   
“Maybe that’s how I want the situation…” Loki pulled your head up softly, brow raised.   
“What?” You tenderly sucked and kissed along his neck, occasionally your teeth would graze his skin as well. A low groan built in his chest and he held onto you tighter. You were aware you were moving, but you didn’t really pay it much mind. Loki wouldn’t try to drown you again – hopefully – and you were certain he was moving for a reason. 

That reason became apparent when your back was pressed tightly against the retaining wall. You were shallower than before because Loki was standing, his hips were rocking against your own. A near whimper caught in your throat when the tip of his manhood slid across your entrance. Loki chuckled softly and captured your lips again, using one hand to attempt to guide his member into you. However you weren’t having that. You weren’t going to let him tease you and then start sex straight away. Just as he was about to slide into your awaiting wetness, you stopped him, using your hand to shield yourself.   
“What are yo-,” with your free hand, you gently took hold of Loki’s wrist, guiding his fingers inside of your tight wetness. Immediately a moan escaped your lips, your hips began to rock and back arched. Loki let out a desperate breath, trying to pull his hand away so he could proceed to fuck you; your grip on his hand however did not loosen, in fact it tightened slightly as you began to move his fingers in and out of you. Loki groaned in desperation as you moaned uncontrollably. His member was certainly more than satisfying, but his fingers curling and stroking your inner walls was a type of pleasure you weren’t as accustomed to. He began huskily whispering your name as the hand not currently buried inside of you began rubbing his member. His soft whispers caused your womanhood to tighten and your body to go absolutely crazy as it rocked back and forth, forcing his fingers deeper. But you had to stop… you couldn’t finish yet… The next time Loki’s hand thrust forwards into you, you held him there so he was unable to add that last push of pleasure to send you over the cliff. “What’s wrong…?” he asked as concern in his eyes. He was probably afraid of drowning you again, but that really wasn’t it at all.  You took a moment to calm yourself and slow your breathing before you pulled Loki’s hand out of you.   
“Fuck me…” you breathed softly before leaning forwards to lock lips.

Loki was knocked back in the water when you lunged at him, but he took it in his stride and easily supported you in the water while also managing to slip his member deep into you.  How he managed things so easily and so sneakily you didn’t know, but _God_ you loved it. Instinctively your hips began to move against him, your lips and tongue still entangled with his. The water sloshed around you, almost but not quite masking the sounds of your moans.  Your nails dug deep into Loki’s skin and gave you some leverage to move a little easier.

Loki was walking in the water again, and the next thing you knew, you were being laid down in the water, the shifting damp sand underneath you.  The two of you were still deep enough to be mostly covered by water, but having the ground to stop you from shifting allowed Loki to thrust harder into you. A rock was sticking into your back, but you just didn’t care; Loki was the only thing you could think about in that moment, how he moved, and the sounds escaping his lips. There were more than a few times the water would come up and almost enter your mouth, but as with the rock you just didn’t care. You sat up slightly and rested your arms back for support, your hips meeting each and every single one of Loki’s thrusts.  He caught your hips and forced you to go faster and faster. You were quickly becoming breathless.   
“Loki... Loki…” you groaned over and over. You could hear him whispering something back, but couldn’t quite understand it. Your legs wrapped tightly around him, egging him on, wanting him to go faster and harder - - though you were almost certain that was physically impossible. Loki’s fingers dug into your hips and backside as tried to hang on, probably because he didn’t think you were all that close... but god fucking damn it you were... Your muscles would snap if they tightened anymore, and your stomach was so tight that it began affecting your lungs. “Loki.” You moaned.   
“Hush...” he groaned, clearly finding it hard to listen to you moan while holding in his orgasm. Your hands ran up his stomach and chest, earning a frantic growl. Quickly you pressed your lips to his, your hands holding him close when you broke away.   
“Come... Loki...” your head rolled back and you very nearly screamed. Loki’s lips and teeth teased the exposed skin of your neck as the both of you gave in reached your end.

As Loki relaxed, he released you slightly. You probably would have slipped from his grip and body had it not been for the water holding you still. The muscles in your back and entire body relaxed and you laid back in the water, the cool liquid surrounding everything but your breasts and face. Loki sat back, unable to catch his breath and probably tired. You swam over to him and kissed him softly, receiving a soft hum in response. His arms wrapped around you and held your damp body against his own. He was too tired to support you properly, and you couldn’t manage it yourself either. Loki laid back slowly to float in the water, you were laying on his body, using him almost like a portable Loki raft. His hand gingerly ran over your spine as his heartbeat began to slow. You took a deep breath as your mind and body began to slowly reconnect and communicate once more.   
“Let’s go to the other places…” You mumbled.   
“Can’t we stay here?” he asked softly. You shook your head.   
“No.” You replied, hiding your smirk. You knew what was to come, but he certainly didn’t. Climbing off of your Loki raft and out of the pool, you quickly slipped your dress back on and began wandering off. The dress clung to your wet form and mixed with the wind left you cold. You heard Loki curse as he sloshed his way out of the pool and followed behind you.

****

You were laying on an old table – probably a table ten times your age – Loki between your legs. A sharp gasp caught in your throat and your hair tangled in his hair as his tongue slowly travelled up you damp lower lips.   
“Loki-ah!” you moaned, hips moving against him. His tongue slipped passed your folds and entered your womanhood. It was a strange sensation. You could feel his warm breath on your nether regions; his hand was massaging your thigh, as the other toyed with your clit and other flesh. He pulled away, his fingertip trailing down your slit before two digits sunk deep into you. You moaned again, content to be filled, however when his mouth moved to your sensitive bud, you all but lost it. His tongue circled the bud as he sucked on your flesh, his fingers moving quick and hard into you, adding another finger, and another. You were almost certain he was going to tear you. You’d taken on two of him at once… but it almost felt like his entire hand was inside of you.  Uncensored, incoherent moans left your lips. You were trying to say something, you knew it was there… but you just couldn’t get your thoughts, mouth and lungs to matchup, all your body could physically do was tangle your fingers tighter in his hair to hold him right there, right where it felt so damn good, as your hips rocked against him. You’d honestly lost count of how many times you had released within the past few hours, but it never once lost its pleasure, nor its ability to completely ravage your body with indescribable pleasure; and here it came again. You could feel it tightening in your stomach and forcing your toes to curl.   
“Loki... Loki...” your voice was hoarse and desperate as your hips began moving on their own. He hummed softly, sending vibrations through your whole body. That was it. That was the last shove you needed, and the last burst of pleasure your body could take.

You released with Loki’s mouth and hand still buried deep between your legs. He continued sucking and licking your clit until your orgasm ran out. He then pulled his fingers out, your head rolling back down to look at him. He was licking his fingers clean of your juices before proceeding to continue licking your entrance, probably for the same reason he licked his fingers… or maybe to just taste you… either way it made you blush and moan at the same time. Your body was twitching with the remnants of your pleasure, so much so that you could barely breathe. When Loki finally pulled away for the final time, you were able to relax and all but fell back down on the table, Loki laying down beside you. You were so thankful that you managed to get Loki off before he went down on you, because you were certain you wouldn’t have the strength to do it now…

The holes in the ceiling of the gazebo allowed the two of you to see the bright stars of the night sky. You had actually spent the whole day having sex… and it was amazing. You didn’t have to muffle your moans – even though you never really worried about it in the past – because the trees, shrubs and boulders absorbed the ungodly noises that left your lips. By the third time moving to a new area, Loki finally caught on to what you were doing and moved willingly to each area with you. He took you down the stream that fed the lake to an area where some type of Asgardian animal lived; you fed them for a short time before you managed to pull Loki down behind a bush and topped him. Then you moved up the hill to an open field filled with flowers. There was a rather large patch of squashed flowers by the time you two left… After that it was another lake with a large, shielding willow tree, an old boat that nearly capsized on you, and a small cubbyhouse-like structure, before you finally reached the top of the hill and entered the gazebo. You were so tired you didn’t want to move again. Your thighs burnt and feet were so sore. But it was pleasant. The constant – and almost non-stop – hits of euphoria from the sex offered your body boosts through the day and now left you with a pleasant buzz and hazy mind.

Loki wrapped an arm around you and pulled your dress back down over your exposed womanhood. It had dried hours ago, but after the sun disappeared, you found it increasingly hard to keep warm.   
“Well…” he said, breathlessly. “That was not exactly what I expected to do today…” he chuckled, “but I am certainly glad it happened the way it did.” You rolled over onto your side and rested your head on his shoulder. The table was uncomfortable to lay on this way, but you were too tired to care.   
“What else would you do on a honeymoon?” you asked, already half asleep. Loki shrugged,   
“I doubt anything would have been better… Though at times I would have liked a bed...” You smiled.   
“Will Frigga talk Odin into letting us do this again…?”   
“Odin was the one apparently who suggested this… It’s rather disturbing really to know someone who raised you is quite so kinky…” he said, clearly disturbed by the thought of either of his parents setting up his honeymoon.   
“Why would he do that…?” Again Loki shrugged. You sighed softly, “Do you think he would let us out again?”   
“The sanctions he had to quickly put together to allow this took a lot of effort. I doubt he would allow it for quite a while.” You hummed.   
“Why didn’t you tell me it was Odin who did this?”   
“Because he said he had no interest in talking to you about his motives…”  
“So why’d you tell me?”   
“Because I don’t want to spend an eternity in hell because I lied to you.” He said with a smirk. You smiled,   
“You’re surprisingly easy to train.” You joked with a wide smile. Loki snorted,   
“ _Sure._ ” He said sceptically, though you could sense his irritation.   
“I do like your mischievous side…” you whispered, turning his head softly to peck his lips. “I doubt anyone without a little mischievous side could so willingly and freely screw their wife in such open spaces, or so many times in one day… Though I do admit after so many weeks of being good your balls were probably about to explode…” Loki laughed loudly,   
“What did you just say?” he asked, probably shocked you had said such a thing.   
“What? Just because I’m a girl, it doesn’t mean I don’t know what blue balls are.” You replied. Loki raised a brow,   
“Blue balls…?” he asked. You sighed softly,   
“It’s when you don’t… you know… do it for a while, or when you’re denied release during sex…”   
“Oh, so _now_ you feel uncomfortable talking about my privates in such a manner?” You rolled your eyes. “You do, don’t you?”   
“Shush…” you mumbled, causing Loki to chuckle again.   
“You can be rather adorable sometimes.” He said. You hummed softly,   
“Girls crave it too you know.” Why were you so coy all of a sudden? Talking about sex shouldn’t be awkward after you just did it all day… Loki kissed your forehead,   
“Believe me, I know.” He said, tightening his hold on you. “And it is one of the many things I love about you.” You smiled slightly and snuggled into him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who else has seen Tom mostly naked in the Night Manager? Oh my god. I felt like a creep for staring, but I just couldn't help it. XD
> 
> Also, there were some misconceptions about the last chapter. Thor has accepted that reader has married Loki, but he still loves her and would probably still pursue her should she break up with Loki.   
> And reader is not the reincarnation of Sigyn. I had hoped Loki’s ‘once a god, always a god’ would help clear that up, but eh. Reader is Reader, and not Sigyn. Since Sigyn hasn’t shown up, she will consider herself Sigyn even though she isn’t her reincarnation. Kind of like; Loki’s had women that just follow behind him and stick blindly to him out of loyalty even with everything he had done. Reader-chan has decided to stick by him, but in an attempt to curb his future into something happier than he has had, not out of blind loyalty.
> 
> Did I mention that the arcs to the story have different names? I cant remember if I did or not…   
> The Beginnings becomes Body  
> Jealousy becomes Mind   
> Taken becomes Soul  
> and Bound stays the same~!  
> Do you get what I did there? I would have said it earlier, but I didn’t want to make it too obvious with the whole bonding thing.
> 
> I am starting University on the 21st, and with all the other stories I still need to update, there is no guarantee I'll be able to finish this before I start, so if I don't, and the 21st comes and goes, please just be patient. I won't be able to write as much while I'm at school, especially since 12 hours a week is taken up by travel alone. So please, patients!!
> 
> Also, the next chapter will be the last. There will be a few other things I post to this story as bonuses at the same time. Including Prolouge/Chapter of original stories I’ve written to see if people would be interested [one of which is based on this story]. The reason behind the Playlist/song meanings. Snippets from my unfinished/unpublished stories to give you all some teasers. And a super special awesome surprise that I know you should all love.


	37. Give Me Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I took so long. Uni started and I had absolutely no chance to do any work on this...

“Give me Love” – Loki x Reader Chapter 37

***  
“Believe me, I know.” He said, tightening his hold on you. “And it is one of the many things I love about you.” You smiled slightly and snuggled into him.  
***

It had been two months since you returned from your two-day honeymoon with Loki, and that was where the fairy-tale life ended. Everything about Asgard was hard to get accustomed to… Loki had royal duties to attend to, as well as aiding in lessons in magic. Teaching children irritated him more than it probably should have, but at least it kept him occupied and away from brooding… Thanks to Frigga’s intervention, you spent most of your days learning Asgardian culture, mannerisms, history and the language. It was nearly five thousand years’ worth of learning to take in over eight hours a day. At one stage in your life you thought the few hundred years of history you had to learn for school was hard, but this was on a completely different level… Initially you were an insanely diligent student, however as time went on you could feel yourself slacking. You’d long since given up on taking notes on the various subjects, mainly because Loki’s desk couldn’t hold all the scrolls, books and papers - - and he had managed to knock it all over one night on his way to the bathroom and some had fallen into the cinders of the fire. When you woke up the next morning he had denied it, only irritating you further... That was your second week of being a ‘married couple’ and you had already begun to fight. Luckily it didn’t last long, and you both knew to keep a cool head. The outside world was stressful enough without you being at each other’s throats as well.

You sighed softly, placing the extremely thick book you were pretending to read down on your lap, your eyes moving to the world around you though you still weren’t focused enough on the physical world to actually take in anything you were seeing. Maybe if you didn’t let your mind wander as often you would actually be able to keep up, but God damn it Odin’s reactions, words, and _everything_ had bothered you. You’d wanted to speak to ‘Great King’, and tried several times, but each time he had been able to slip by without so much as a gaze in your direction. He seemed so cold, distant and uncaring towards Loki, so why then would he jump through hoops to get the two of you on a honeymoon? Why would he agree to do the ceremony in the first place at all? Sure, Frigga could have intervened, but that would only make him do so much... You had to know. Loki told you he didn’t want you ask, but you just couldn’t help yourself, you had to find a way to get Odin to talk.  
“I don't like that look…” Loki said.  
“What look…?” You mumbled absently. You were still trying to come up with a way to get to Odin. You weren't allowed into the throne room while he was dealing with queries from his subjects. After that he would go to various strategical meetings. The only time he was really available was on his way _to_ said meetings or during meal times, and you always ate with Loki. Even though Odin had accepted Loki back into the family, he was still uncomfortable having his younger son around all the time, so it would often end up with you and Loki alone in your bedroom for meals and much of the day after business had been dealt with.  
“ _That_ look.” He said, “I saw it on our honeymoon, and now I know what it means.” you raised a brow, your eyes coming back into focus. Right, you were in bed, Loki standing at the foot of the large mattress, intently gazing into your eyes, clearly trying to figure out what was on your mind.  
“What does it mean then…?”  
“It means you're planning something, and considering there are no waterfalls or gazebos around, it isn't the kind of plan I am hoping it will be.” he said as he took a seat beside you, his arm looping snugly over your shoulders. You rested your head against him, your eyes lingering on the outside world before you. Loki's room opened onto a large balcony that overlooked the gardens, the balcony itself touching a large tree that was covered in bright orange and red leaves that fell onto the balcony floor in heaps and mounds. It took you a week to finally convince him to open the doors, and now he had he didn't close it at all. You liked it better this way because at least this way it felt like more than just the two of you against the world. No, it was you, Loki, _and_ the red leaved tree against the world, a much more settling thought.  
“I want to go talk to Odin….” You finally mumbled, even though you knew Loki wouldn't like the idea at all.  
“No-,”  
“Loki…”you cut him off. “If I'm going to be around even half as long as everyone thinks I will then I'll need to get along with your parents,” he opened his mouth, though you already knew what he was going to say, “ _both_ of your parents.” You finished. If anyone else called Frigga and Odin his parents around him, he would always snap, claiming they weren't his parents, but with you he didn't. “And I want to know why-,”  
“He won't tell you. He won't want to see you.” He said, tangling his hand with yours. You sighed softly,  
“I just want to try… I _need_ to try.” You felt Loki's shoulders slump. He was probably already sick of arguing with you, either that or he truly believed Odin would turn you away regardless of what you tried and you would become upset because of it - - meaning Loki would have to deal with your bad mood. You decided it was more than likely a bit of both. “Trust me...” you said.  
“I trust _you._ ” He replied.  
“But not him?” you asked with a raised brow, to which he nodded. You rolled your eyes as you laid back in the soft mound of pillows behind you. “Well I’m going to do it, whether you like it or not.” You could tell you sounded like a stubborn child at that moment, but really you didn’t care. You’d put up with Odin’s childish behaviour, so it was time to be as stubborn as that jackass. Loki gently stroked your hair,  
“I know... I won’t stop you.” He said. You smiled, resting your hand on his outstretched arm.  
“Thank you.” A smirk pulled at his lips before he gently angled your head upwards and captured your lips. You hummed softly as he leaned down over you, your hand moving to tangle gently in his hair. His hand slid from your hair to skim across the rest of your body, squeezing and teasing you. A whimper left your lips when he settled himself between your legs. “I have to study...” you mumbled before reigniting the kiss almost right away.  
“Later...” he hummed, his hand settling on the back of your neck to hold you against him firmly.

Loosely your arms hooked around his neck as his spare hand ran up your leg, exposing your skin from underneath the heavy Asgardian dress. A sharp knock at the door caused Loki to sigh irritably, however he didn’t pull away to answer, obviously trying to ignore it. However whoever it was wasn’t going to be ignored, and continued knocking, louder and without a break, like a constant, rapid clock during an intense migraine. After a few minutes of trying – and failing – to keep you ‘in the mood’ Loki growled as he swiftly got out of bed, and slammed the door open.  
“What?!” he snarled at the young server girl, who very nearly dropped the heavy tray of food and drink on the ground.  
“Loki, be nice...” you said, sitting up to pull your dress down. He grumbled something under his breath that sounded like a snide remark towards the girl, before taking the tray and slamming the door in her face. You sighed softly and slid off the bed, following Loki over to the dining area he had set up on the balcony. “If you want to start eating with everyone else, you have to get your temper under check...” Loki hummed as he placed the tray down, the both of you taking your seats. It was one of the same basic lunches you’d become accustomed to over your time on Asgard. Without refrigerators most of their meats were preserved and salted, the lavish roast dinners followed basic lunches of sliced meats, fish, vegetables, cheeses and bread – along with some potent wine. It was refreshing and light, and honestly you had begun feeling so much better physically, whether from the nights of peaceful sleep or the food itself you didn’t know but it felt good to feel so good. Loki began picking at the food, filling a glass of wine for each of you,  
“Regardless of what I do (Name), I don’t believe things will change...” he mumbled before taking a mouthful of wine. “Honestly I would be surprised if he ever allowed me beyond the borders of the palace without his ‘secret’ spies watching me...” he said.  
“Then I guess I’ll have to add that into my talk with Odin.” you smiled. Loki hummed, clearly not believing you. You stood and sat on the arm of his chair, your arm wrapping around him as your head rested on his shoulder. “It will get better... I promise.” His arm snaked around you,  
“It doesn’t have to get better, as long as you’re with me.” You kissed his temple.

***

For the next week you spent your time trying to find a way to Odin. After your studies was too late as his various meetings would have already started, and during your study just took away time you couldn’t spare to waste, mainly because your tutors were hard-asses. Time and time again you had managed to come upon him, but you were always ushered away by his awaiting guard, or given a gentle nudge away by Frigga... On the eighth day you once again set out on your completely unprepared goal to catch Odin alone. You’d woken up early to leave your room before someone arrived to deliver the days study material, and even before Loki had woken up. Of course you left a note for him, and asked him to lie to the tutor to get him to leave without having a need to tell Odin you weren’t there for your studies. Considering he was the ‘God of Mischief’, you trusted he was capable of coming up with something.

The palace in the small hours of the morning was a surprisingly lively place. Maids and other servants ran wild through the halls, attempting to get all their jobs done as quickly as possible before the royal family woke up to see them. The sun had yet to fully illuminate the dark sky. The torch lamps hanging high on the tall walls still alight, sending red and orange light over everything.  According to Loki Odin woke up at the crack of dawn, ate breakfast and started his day... Catching him during breakfast would probably upset him, and you’d guess there would almost always be guards around him in one way or another. Yes, going in to catch a king unprepared was probably the best idea you could have... Screw it, you’d catch him on his exit from his room, before he could get to breakfast.

Quickly you trotted down the halls, in all honesty had it not been for the slightly cleaner dress you were wearing you could have easily passed for a servant, which in all actuality would probably benefit you. You turned and turned again, the closer you came to the king and queens suites, the fewer people you found, and the louder your footsteps had become. You slowed your pace and glanced around. You’d never actually been to this part of the palace before. You were technically ‘royalty’ with your marriage to Loki, and as such you had to know the hundred room palace like the back of your hand, so you’d been given generic floor plans to follow. The north was where Thor’s quarters were, south was Loki, and the king and queen had rooms to the west. Of course you weren’t given exact plans of these areas, in fact these places were only mentioned in passing really, your studies of the palace mainly focussing on the locations of main ballrooms, the throne room, library’s and other common areas. So it was lucky you even remembered the location of their rooms.  After twenty minutes of searching the west side, you found a large set of stairs at the end of a hall, a void reaching at least five flights up following them. Fucking stair-loving Asgard again... With a hefty sigh you began climbing the stairs, all five flights of them. They curved around in a seashell-like spiral; no other hallways came off of the stairs, the only hope for relief being the top and bottom... When you reached the top of the stairs, you came to a small hall with two large doors sitting on adjacent walls, one gold plated and one silver plated with lit torches either side of them. By some miracle there weren’t any guards to see you or send you away – the lack of guards was an extreme blind spot in the protection of their king and queen,  
“Come in girl.” Odin’s deep, dominant voice called. “Loitering about the halls like a common thief...” he grumbled as he opened the silver door. He was already fully dressed, his one good eye glaring in your direction. You took a breath, and started towards the door.  You had expected the silver-doored room to belong to Frigga, but then the old saying ‘don’t judge a book’ rang through your head. “ _Now_.” The king snarled, making you jump and quickly run into the door. He huffed and closed the door behind you, as you were passing him you did notice what would usually be a hidden door just ajar enough to glance in. The room you were looking into felt more masculine than the one you were in, harsh metals and deep woods filling the room, and atop the bed you could see an unmistakably feminine form. You were correct. This was Frigga’s room, light, bright and soft – feminine.  It should have been obvious really; just like any other married couple they shared a room, even if it wasn’t ‘proper’. Apparently having noticed where you were looking Odin quickly – but quietly – closed the door to his room. “Over two months I’ve put up with your presence and in the last week you’ve proven yourself irritating and unappreciative of the time and money spent trying to educate you in our ways. Now, what do you want?” Your mouth opened slightly, but really you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. Had you been unappreciative of everything...? You’d spent almost all this time focussing on _why_ and not just enjoying the fact you were able to be there with Loki, healthy, happy...  
“I...” you trailed off, Odin looking somewhat smug, “I do appreciate everything...” you mumbled. “I am thankful for every day that I get to wake up next to the man I love, but it is so hard to watch him struggle with _everyone_ as he tries to settle back in...” he rolled his eyes.  
“He has to learn that the things he does have consequences.” He said dully. “He has yet to learn or adhere to a punishment...”  
“If that’s true then I want to know why you would do the ceremony for us... and give us a honeymoon if it caused such grief, or bother to allow Loki to do royal duties, and for me to study about Asgard if you hate him, or me, or _both of us_ so badly... Why show him kindness only to take it away? Is it to torment him?” You didn’t know if what you said made any type of sense, but really the whole situation didn’t make any sense... so it was kind of befitting.  
“As most small brained organisms on your planet, you have misunderstood almost everything.” He said dully. You clenched your jaw. Ass hat. Smug prick. Dick. Fuck face. It was better to call him all the dirty names you wanted to in your head, rather than _actually_ saying it.  
“How have I misunderstood?” you asked through gritted teeth.  
“Your immediate reaction is to assume I hate a boy I raised since he was an infant, which I can assure you isn’t-,”  
“Even if it isn’t true, that’s how you come across!” you yelled. “It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not it’s how I feel, and it’s how _he_ feels.” You insisted. The king still didn’t look convinced. “It doesn’t matter if you love or hate him... if he sees you as cold and hate filled, that will be all he sees, regardless of the few good moments you give him... me included...” Your own speech had made you realise how unfair you had been. You clung to Loki’s insecurities, probably because you still had some yourself, without thinking about what you had been given at all. You thought only about the scheme behind his kindness, rather than the kindness itself... Your shoulder slumped slightly, “I’m sorry...” you mumbled, about to concede defeat. “You don’t have to tell me why. It was wrong to assume you had an ulterior motive by being kind to us... I just... I guess I wanted to know if you actually cared, or if it were Frigga convincing you to do everything...”  
“Don’t mumble girl.” He said nonchalantly. “It is instinctual to question people’s motives, so I do not hold anything against you for that.”

You fell silent as awkwardness settled between you. What were you supposed to do? Maybe leaving would be best. You’d said all you needed to, and Odin seemed content to end it there. You took a breath, about to turn before Odin sighed softly,  
“I act the way I do with him, not because I hate him... not because he is not of my blood... I do what I do because I do not want to show him the same weakness Frigga shows him... He knows if he tries hard enough that she will give him what he wants, even if he does not deserve it. I _have_ to be the stern one who keeps him in line.”  
“That doesn’t mean you make it so bad that your son thinks you hate him...”  
“It is how it has to be...”  
“No it isn’t... Please... I’ll still eat in the bedroom if you’re uncomfortable with me, but at least for lunch could you let Loki spend time with all of you...?”  
“I cannot-,”  
“ _Please_... Show him kindness even if you do not think he has done enough to earn it...” He sighed, running his hand through his hair.   
“I will, on one condition.” He said.  
“What is it?”  
“Do not tell him you asked this of me... I want to see what he will be like thinking of this as a reward for good behaviour so far, and not on his best behaviour as if he were obliged to for your sake.” You clenched your jaw. If Loki didn’t know you were the one who asked of it... he could react badly... But you could sense over the two months that all he wanted was Odin’s approval, so maybe he would think of it as that... You nodded.  
“Okay.” You smiled slightly. Odin nodded,  
“You may leave.” He said, turning to open the door for you. “And don’t try this again. I had the guards take the mornings off the past few days because I assumed you would try this. Now that you have, if you come to my room again, you will be ‘escorted’ back to your own.” It took all you had in you not to roll your eyes.  
“Okay... though technically _this_ isn’t your room...” you said as you stepped out. The door almost instantly slammed behind you. You sighed softly. Okay, you weren’t close enough to Odin for playful teasing... But it went well, right...?

***

After Odin had sent you out, you returned to your room, coming to find that Loki had gone to work as usual. Hours passed slowly as you started getting through all the work required for that day, and you found that Loki didn’t come back for lunch as per usual; and only a single serve of food was sent to you. Initially it made you happy, _extremely_ happy even... however as the afternoon rolled by and you had no contact with Loki whatsoever, you started getting worried. Finally when dinner arrived, again with only enough for you, you asked where Loki was. The response nearly made you drop the platter in your hands.  
“A-Are you sure...?” you asked. The servant nodded. He had been sent to the dungeons?! God if that was Odin’s attempt to get along with Loki and get him involved with his own family then there was something _definitely_ wrong with him! Fuck the ‘misconceptions’ you had about Odin, you now deemed them _all_ correct! Immediately you shoved the tray back at the servant –harder than you had intended – and started down the halls, straight to the dungeons.

There were no servants in the halls, beyond the preoccupied maid every once and a while, so there was no one to bear the anger and fear you were feeling. The moment you came upon the stone arch leading down to the dungeon you slipped through the door, ignoring the protest from the guard. You had expected to accidentally fall down the slightly damp stairs as you quickly ran down them, but luckily you didn’t. Your hands ran over the uneven stone wall as you walked, the lights barely flickering in the dark descent not enough to remove the worry of running into something. The light at the end of the tunnel quickly became visible, and when you emerged you were almost blinded by what seemed to be faux lighting within the ceiling. You rubbed your eyes and tried to adjust to the light as you took a few steps. Your vision quickly focused, and all the cells came in to view.  You took a breath to settle yourself as all of the eyes of the criminals fell on you.  
“L-Loki...?” you called hesitantly. The prisoners began chattering between themselves, a few wolf whistling or cat-calling to you. You quickly moved past the stone and magic based cells.  
“(Name)...” Loki’s voice cut through the other noise. You glanced around and followed it, eventually coming to a cell completely devoted to Loki.  A sad and relieved sigh left your lips. He was sitting on a bed, yellow-gold magic panelling keeping him inside the otherwise stone cell.  Your pace slowed once you came to him, eventually coming to sit in front of his cell.  
“How exactly did you end up in here...?” You asked, resting against the stone pillar of the cells corner.  
“Odin refused to allow you to join us during lunch...” he said. Oh no...  
“You’ve been in here since _then_?” you asked, brows furrowing and voice straining slightly. He nodded,  
“I will not allow him to exclude you and pretend you don’t exist.” The look on your face must have given away the pain, sadness and responsibility you felt, because he gazed, long and hard at you.  
“It’s because that was the deal I made with him Loki... It wasn’t really a deal in fact, more of a plea...” you mumbled.  
“You _what_?” You glanced down, unable to look at him.  
“I spoke to him this morning, and he agreed to let you join in on lunches with everyone...”  
“Why wouldn’t you tell me?!” You glanced up to him, mouth open and fear ringing in the back of your mind. What were you going to say? The last thing you wanted was Loki to think _you_ were against him as well... Oh _shit_...  
“Because your father is a proud man who wouldn’t want to admit a human knew what he needed to do before he did...” Frigga said as she gracefully stepped up beside you. “So do not blame her Loki...”  
“You’re right, it was _his_ fault.” Frigga sighed and rubbed her temple. Suddenly an idea struck you, a rather obscene idea considering Loki was several hundred years old, and an idea that made you snicker. The Queen and Loki both looked at you clearly confused.  
“You’re in timeout.” you laughed. Loki’s brows furrowed,  
“What...?” he growled. You slowly calmed yourself,  
“I’m sorry... but it’s just kind of funny... That’s why Odin has been doing what he has been... because to him you’re still a naughty child who needs to be reprimanded, and this is your ‘naughty spot’...” Loki rolled his eyes.  
“You’re being ridiculous.” He said dully.  
“She’s correct though...” Frigga mumbled.  
“ _What_?” his voice was dull and very unimpressed.  
“Thor is, for lack of a better phrase, his ‘golden boy’...” she said. Loki rolled his eyes at this, “And you are still somewhat of the child, to the both of us.”  
“I’m a full grown man mother...” he grumbled.  
“Not to us.” She smiled. Loki sighed irritably at his mother’s amusement.  
“Okay, so can someone go to daddy dearest and ask him to let me out.” He said murmured.  
“I’ll go talk to him... I was able to talk him into letting Loki sit at the grown-ups table.” you said, though you were certain the hesitation and nerves in your voice pierced through the attempt at humour.  
“It’s okay dear; I’ve already talked to him.” She said, nodding to a guard who dropped the barrier. “You did very well this morning by the way.” She smiled wide. Loki made his way over to you and wrapped his arms tightly around you.  
“What’s going to happen now...?” you mumbled.  
“We’re going to start acting more like a family... _Everyone_ will start acting like an actual family.” Frigga said, and you could sense Loki roll his eyes,  
“Yes, because it worked out _so_ well today...” He sniped. You rose up onto your toes and pecked his lips.  
“Just try... once more.” He hummed, meeting your kiss,  
“Very well...” he said. You smiled wide, his forehead against yours.

***

Odin was not in the mood to put up with Loki that night, so you and he ate your dinner in your room again, however Frigga had promised the two of you a seat at the table every meal henceforth.  The next day during the morning Loki had woken you up and all but forced you into clothes. Having had breakfast in bed for the last two months you were less than accustomed to getting up and dressed before eating. However once he had forced you from bed, into the shower, and clothes on your back – with a moment where the clothes came back off before going back on – you were ready for your first ‘family meal’.  Suddenly the idea of being scrutinised by Odin and anyone else terrified you. Servants talked, _a lot_. You had caught three of them talking about your sex life while cleaning up as you were in the shower once before! Honestly! It was going to be _so_ much worse when you were in public. Oh god what if you and Loki got into a squabble…? That would only make everything worse! Before you knew it you were hyperventilating, hands clenching the sheets tightly as all the bad thoughts you had thought long gone returned. What would you do if it didn't work out with Loki…? You wouldn't be able to show your face on earth or Asgard… Fuck… The people would talk of a whore who was stupid enough to follow her master, before being traded in! You could hear Loki’s muffled voice, however the rapid sound of your own beating heart made it impossible to hear exactly what he was saying. Please, oh God please don't let him grow bored of you. You would be ridiculed, you’d be a joke, an utter embarrassment… and ultimately, you would be alone.

You could feel firm hands on your upper arms, your hands lifting from your lap to curl around Loki’s collar.  
“I don’t think I’m ready to face everyone...” you mumbled. He gently stroked your hair,  
“Why...?” You shook your head, not wanting to admit your grievances out loud.  
“I just can’t...” you mumbled. Loki sighed softly and kissed your forehead.  
“Stay here, I will be back soon.” He literally had to pry your hands away from his collar before he stepped away. In your mind you knew you were being ridiculous, however that didn’t stop the ludicrous thoughts from crossing your mind. You needed him. You wanted him with you, and yet he left. What happened when you needed him for a reason more than just your own insecurities...? He had been with you while you were ill, you knew that, yet you were still scared of him leaving you. He was over nine hundred years old, and you weren't even close to being a tenth of his age... Would that come into play? Human commitments could last for several decades... but when forty years barely ages either of you, could it become stale?  You were being ridiculous. Loki loved you and you loved him, but what if...? What if he woke up one morning and he didn’t...?  
“My dear...” Frigga said softly, resting her hand on your own. Hesitantly you glanced up. The radiant queen was smiling gently down at you. “I would like you to come with me.” In your peripheral vision you could see a confused look cross Loki’s face, however before you could question it Frigga had helped you to your feet and took you out of the room, down a few hallways and into a large vacant room, something you guessed would be used for intimate parties.  
“Why are we in here...?” you mumbled, glancing around at the vast ceilings, ornate crown moulding and chandeliers.  
“Because what I want to show you shouldn’t be seen by others... or rather _cannot_ be seen by others...” she smiled, “Now dear, close your eyes...”  You thought it best not to question the queen, so you closed your eyes as Frigga gently placed her hand on your cheek. 

It felt like you were pulled through a white tunnel, your stomach fluttering as your head spun. You were standing still, you knew that... but it felt like you were in a car speeding down a highway, swerving and ducking around other cars. Suddenly everything stopped, the movement of your body, the sickness in your stomach, and the spinning of your head as the white light began to fade. You were in the doorway between a room and balcony, silky curtains brushing against your back. It smelled sweet like spring... only it was a fresher, brighter springtime than you had ever experienced. The sun beaming down was comfortably warm against your skin, and you were kept cool by the subtle breeze. As your eyes fully adjusted to your surroundings, some figures came into view. A woman in Asgardian garb was lying in a sunbed, her face hidden by the back of the chair, stroking her swollen stomach as a child around the age of two stood on the seat beside her, clinging to her. A man walked out onto the patio and knelt beside her. Finally it was someone you recognised. Black hair shining with a blue hue in the sun, offset by his pale skin and gold highlights in his attire... the man was Loki. Your brows furrowed as you stepped out of the doorway and onto the patio. Over Loki’s shoulder you could see a set of familiar eyes, hair – albeit longer – and face... It was _you_... You were sitting in the chair, pregnant with a second child... Suddenly the child smiled wide, and quickly hopped off the seat, running over to a shadowy figure that picked the child up as they made their way out to the balcony. It was Thor, he looked happy, he seemed _genuinely_ happy... Thor and Loki began to speak, your double joining in. You could see their mouths move but didn’t hear a word, until Thor said something.  
“Shall we go see your grandfather...?” he asked the child, who nodded rapidly.  
“Do you think he will give...” the gender of the child was muted, much to your irritation, “back before nightfall this time?” Loki asked, standing straight.  
“I doubt it. He is eager to teach some archery and magic.” Thor shrugged,  
 “ _Archery_?!” Your double said, clearly not amused that her, _your_ , young child would be around dangerous weapons. Again the sound faded out as everyone continued to talk. You stepped forward, wanting to touch the scene, to keep that happy moment with you; however the white tunnel returned, and you were ripped back to reality.

Frigga smiled warmly at you; however it was hard to see her through your water-logged eyes.  
“What was that...?” you breathed. It felt like all the air had been forced from your lungs, and you were unable to breathe it back in properly.  
“It was your future dear...” Tears spilled down your face.  
“What...?” She nodded.  
“I cannot _tell_ others... so instead I decided to _show_ you in the hopes it would remove the worry in your heart...” you covered your trembling mouth with your hand, causing Frigga to wrap her arms around you. “It’s okay dear...” she said, patting your back. You nodded slightly, a small smile pulling at your lips. He wasn’t going to leave you... You were going to be happy... Everything was going to be good... After a while, Frigga released you, and straightened out your hair, giving you time to wipe away the tracks from the tears. “Now, how about you go to breakfast, and I will come shortly with Loki.” She said. You took a breath and nodded with a smile.  The queen released you, and you headed off out of the room, a new found confidence and security in your head and heart.

*Frigga’s POV*

The elderly queen let out a soft, relieved breath once the young woman left the room. That went down well, _very_ well. Showing her the future seemed to put her at ease in a way nothing else could. Frigga would still have to coach Loki a little in regards to comforting and managing (Name)’s worries. Sometimes – most of the time – men had trouble interpreting women’s emotions.  
“You didn’t tell her that the vision was one of many possibilities.” Loki said as he stepped into the room. Frigga sighed again, out of a slight exasperation towards Loki.  
“What I showed her was the most likely outcome from this path... Some subtle things may change depending on reactions to things... but as it stands, it is what is most likely will happen.”  
“But it can change.” Loki’s tone made it almost seem like a question, though they both knew it was a statement.    
“Yes...” Loki took a moment to think over her words.  
“What else have you seen?” he asked while crossing his arms.  
“Do not do that to yourself, knowing all of the outcomes will do nothing but fill you with worry and fear.”    
“Fri-,”  
“ _Mother_ , Loki.  I am your _mother_.”  
“Mother...” Loki started. “Tell me...”  
“No.”    
“I need-,”  
“You love her, do you not?” she asked, stepping over to the raven haired prince.  
“I do...” Frigga smiled as she straightened Loki’s slightly dishevelled hair and clothes.  
“Then that is all you need to know and remember...” her blue eyes moved towards the door (Name) had left through before turning back to Loki. He understood the message, and went after his beloved. Frigga followed a few minutes behind; relieved she would hopefully be able to let Loki handle everything from now on without her over his shoulder... though she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop her meddling ways completely.

*Your POV*

After your hysteric morning, everything settled into a comfortable rhythm. Your tutoring had been moved out of the bedroom and into an adjoining office to Loki’s, courtesy of Frigga – though you were warned about focussing on your studies and not allowing Loki to ‘distract’ you. It was probably one of the best days on Asgard you had ever had - - not counting the day you were bonded, or your honeymoon.  After Loki had finished an obscene amount of paper work you hadn’t realised he had to do every day and you finished your studies, you went back to your room to enjoy the afternoon. Loki had suggested you walk around Asgard and enjoy the sites, but after the emotion filled morning you just wanted to relax. Though really, you should have known better than to expect relaxation when you were alone with Loki in a bedroom with no work needing to be done...

Initially you started kissing after the door closed however before you could even reach the bed - - really just as you entered the door - - he pulled your dress of, and was already starting to unhook your bra with one hand and pulling at your underwear with the other. You hummed with a smile as he picked you up and laid you down on the bed, your arms snaking around his neck and legs around his waist.  
“Are you sure? Your mother did warn us about fooling around.” You teased, knowing full well Frigga wouldn’t care if you had sex in your own bedroom.  
“I doubt she will come crashing in to our bedroom.”  He said, trying to kiss you again, but you turned to the door, making him miss your lips.  
“Are you sure...? I mean... it would be awfully embarrassing if she walked in on us.” Loki chuckled softly and rolled his eyes before he started tracing his lips across your neck, down between your breasts and across your stomach. You groaned softly as his finger slipped past your underwear and deep into you, the single digit curling against your inner walls, “L-Loki-ah!” you moaned as his tongue prodded your clit through the material. He hummed against your nether regions, sending more pleasure through your abdomen. You honestly didn’t know how wet you were becoming until the slick liquid began coating your thighs as Loki moved his finger in and out of you. You gripped the sheets firmly; one hand curling in his raven locks and messing up his usually perfect hair. All too early he pulled away, causing your hips to buck up against the nothingness he left behind. Even the light touch of the cloth of your underwear settling over your womanhood again was enough to make you whimper. Loki chuckled as he traced his finger over your covered entrance again. “Please...” you moaned.  
“Please what...?” he smiled, flicking the sensitive bud between your legs. You huffed softly. Oh _hell_ no. You weren’t about to let him have _all_ the control. Quickly you sat up and pushed him down on the bed, immediately straddling his lap and holding down his arms – though if he wanted to he could easily overpower you.  
“Please be good while I fuck you...” you smiled, somewhat sweetly. Already you could feel his hardening member through your damp underwear. You rolled your hips back and forth, knowing you were more than wet enough to transfer your warmth, and the wetness itself to his dick. Within seconds you could tell that what you had intended to happen was, because Loki began to buck up to meet you, his usually pale face tinged pink slightly. You smiled, leaning down to kiss him as you pulled his member free from his pants. A sharp moan caught in his chest the moment your hands touched the twitching, throbbing muscle, and a louder groan escaped when you began running your damp slit over the length of him. You held his dick firmly against your womanhood with one hand as the other moved to his pocket, pulling out one of the daggers he kept with him at most times. You laid his member down against his abdomen, and rested yourself over him, forcing him to put up with your damp warmth over him without any movement.

Now with two hands free you slowly began to cut away at the thin cloth covering your nether regions. You could see Loki’s desire and need grow second by second, and when you finally pulled away the last of the underwear, he couldn’t help himself but reach up and try to touch you. Gently you pressed the blade against his hand.  
“Uh-uh.” You shook your head, guiding his hand back down with the dagger before reaching back and placing it on the bedside table.  How bad would it be, going to the healers with something cut, and explaining it happened during sex...  
“(Name)...” he groaned. You had been so wrapped up in your little tease show that you failed to notice his violently throbbing member beneath you, or the precum that had dribbled down onto his stomach.  
“Sorry.” You said, leaning down to kiss him again as you slipped him inside of you with a moan. Loki’s hands settled on your hips as you began to ride him. The both of you groaned, gasping for air desperately, your forehead resting on his shoulder as you began to quicken your pace. Loki’s arms moved from your hips to wrap around your shoulders, holding you tight against him.  
“Loki-,” you gasped as he began bucking up to meet your movement. You cursed as his hands caressed and teased your body. Your breathing became shallow as his hand found your breast, his teeth sinking into your hardened nipple; the mix of physical pleasure and pain, as well as the satisfying groans coming from his mouth forced you closer and closer to the edge you were desperately trying to avoid. You broke through his hold to sit up, Loki reluctantly releasing your breast, the soft mound snapping back into place. You let out a hum as your hands came to rest on his chest to support your upper body. Loki began breathing deeply, his member starting to swell within you as his hands firmly squeezed your breast and side.  
“Come...” he groaned, and immediately you lost yourself, back arching forwards as you threw your head back. A desperate moan ripped through your vocal chords as your body spasmed, shivered and tensed. Honestly you were so wrapped up in your own pleasure you didn’t notice Loki release, only after you fell forward into his arms did you realise his now softened dick slip from you, and there was even more liquid spilling from your entrance, obviously a mix of his seed and your own arousal.

You laid in his arms for God knows how long. It was long enough to catch your breath, and become somewhat uncomfortable from the sweat covering your body. Eventually you lazily turned your face to him, with a smile and slight giggle.  
“Well... this has certainly been a _very_ good day...” you mumbled. He smiled, tracing his fingertips over your spine.  
“My only hope is that no one heard you... After all the balcony doors are open and you were _very_ loud when you screamed my name...” he chuckled. You said his name...? That was a likely thing to happen, but you didn’t notice it at all... Deep down you started to feel the embarrassment of everyone hearing you scream for Loki, but you were so relaxed at the moment that you didn’t care,  
“Then maybe we should try harder... if no one has complained about our noise.” You teased with a smile.  
“Is that a promise...?” he asked with a wide smile. You hummed, not answering to leave him guessing. It would more than likely happen... you and Loki both had trouble keeping your hands to yourselves.

Eventually Loki moved the two of you into a sitting position beneath a thin throw rug at the head of the bed, his arms tightly holding you.  Just what was he to you...? You had asked yourself that once, wrapped in his warm embrace. But now you finally knew. He was all of your speculations and more. He was you lover, your friend, and now? He was your husband, and eventually the father to your children. Loki’s arm tightened around you, dragging you out of your thoughts,  
“Are you sure you still want this?” He asked. You smiled softly as a gust of breeze sent leaves flying into the room.   
“Yes, I am.” Loki gently turned your head to face him.   
“Think seriously (name). The Avengers and Thor are rebuilding Midgard. I cannot offer you much more than what we have right here in this one room, and there is no guarantee that the seal will work...” He gently trailed his fingers over the burn mark on your neck. You sighed softly and ran your hand through Loki’s raven locks. “And I do not think I could cope with loosing you...” He buried his face into your neck, kissing you gently.  
“Where has this hesitation come from...? Was it Frigga’s vision that’s made you scared...?” Loki knew Frigga had shown you something, and much to your surprise he didn’t prod for an answer.  
“No, I just...” he trailed off.  
“Loki,” You said, coaxing him from his hiding place. “Just give me your love for as long as you can. That’s all I need.” You said. “If you can give me that, then there is nothing else in the nine realms I could ever want...” A small smile pulled at his lips. “What is it...?”  
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted... Someone to love me, and give love to... but are you certain that giving me your love is really the best thing for _you_?” Your decision to be with Loki had caused so much grief and pain in the past, so it was somewhat of an understandable question for him to ask you... but you trusted him. You trusted him not to hurt you again.  
“Loki, I've never been more certain of _anything_ in my entire life...”

 

\- END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it~! The last of this story!! Now, NO. There will be no epilogue. Frigga's vision will be the only glimpse you'll have into the distant future, but that doesn't mean I will be ending the progression for all of the characters. At the same time I post this (and the reason I didn't want to just write this and then post it) I will be posting 3 Specials for all of you. 1 is regarding the songs for this story, 2 is my own stories (and some fanfiction stories for the future), and 3 will be how I plan to continue this slight AU storyline. It will only be a snippet into the future of the story, so you will have to keep watching my updates to see when it gets posted on its own~
> 
> Please tell me what you think, and if i've forgotten anything, because it's been such a long time since I started this that some small details could have been missed while I was trying to wrap it all up ^^
> 
> I want to thank all of you for the support, for the lovely comments, and I hope you enjoyed everything~!


	38. SPECIAL #1

Special 1 – Songs and the reasons I added them to the playlist (I would like to write out and highlight all the song to explain it 100%, but, I can’t be bothered and don’t really wanna add too much for you to read. So these are all the songs in the playlist with shortened descriptions. And heres the link to the youtube playlist:   
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUc9_SfXsMBJAM-Rc0cNeBkLpxrs62Dhe

If you can’t be bothered listening to all 55 of them, then I would really suggest just a few:  
Give Me Love – Ed Sheeran  
Demons – Imagine Dragons  
Cosmic Love – Florence + The Machine  
Hardest of Hearts – Florence + The Machine

 **Undisclosed Desires – Muse  
** \- This was suggested early on in the series and the thing that caught me about this song was the chorus. Weirdly enough I kind of imagine the chorus (and most of the song in fact) as Loki and Thor speaking to the reader, trying to get her attention, until the second verse where the reader takes over, and almost starts a conversation with Loki. This kind of fits in a little earlier in the series, while reader-chan is still trying to figure Loki out, as well as her feelings towards Thor; kind of like a final debate before she makes up her mind.

Basic Breakdown -  
‘I know you’ve suffered’ – Thor: talking about how Loki has treated her  
‘Soothing’ – Loki: Kind of ironic since the phrase ‘I’ll make you feel pure’ is in here, but he is stating what he wants to be able to do and offer her. He wants her to feel soothed, pure as a sense of the way she loves him (i.e not forced), and that he can be trusted.  
‘Reconcile’ + ‘Exorcise’ – Thor: wanting to make the hurt and pain she received disappear, and get Loki away from her.  
‘Recognise’ + ‘Satisfy’ – Loki: whether reader thinks shes beautiful or not, Loki wants to prove that the physical appearance of her doesn’t matter to him, somewhat admitting a deeper, emotional link to her, and also his wanting to bring out all the desires of her mind and fulfill them.  
‘You trick your lovers’ – Reader: talking about Loki and how she sees him  
‘But your innocence is mine’ + ‘Please Me’ – Loki: stating that he had claimed her, and thus he will always be a part of her  
‘Show me’ – Reader: show her how to please him. Show her the true him, show her he cares.  
‘Tease me’ – Loki: admitting he likes her quirks and sexual teasing, even though no one else would dare try.  
‘You are the one’ – Loki & Reader possibly. (And maybe throw Thor in here as well because he can’t take a hint XD): rather obvious meaning, eh? ^^

 **Demons – Imagine Dragons  
** \- This is probably one of Loki’s songs to reader, not the whole thing of course, just a few phrases and verses made me choose this.

Basic Breakdown -  
“I wanna hide the truth  
I wanna shelter you  
But with the beast inside  
There's nowhere we can hide” – He wants from the very start to protect the reader, however because he is who he is, he finds ‘the beast’ hard to control, and thus feels that he will probably always end up hurting her.  
“When you feel my heat  
Look into my eyes  
It's where my demons hide  
It's where my demons hide  
Don't get too close  
It's dark inside  
It's where my demons hide  
It's where my demons hide” – It’s Loki acknowledging the hate, fear, and darkness inside of himself, and to the reader, and _showing_ it to her at an arm’s length in the hopes she will accept and still love him.  
“Don't wanna let you down  
But I am hell bound  
Though this is all for you  
Don't wanna hide the truth” – As if he’s saying “I’m doomed to hell for what I’ve done, so I may as well keep going to try to make the most of it for you, to get you a better life while I can, and I won’t hide that fact from you.”  
“They say it's what you make  
I say it's up to fate  
It's woven in my soul  
I need to let you go” – Kind of in response to everything he’s built on earth starting to crumble. Think of it as “They say if you work hard enough, you can achieve anything, but now I realise it’s my fate to fail at anything I try, so before I fall maybe I should let you go to save you from hitting the ground.”  
  
“Your eyes, they shine so bright  
I wanna save that light  
I can't escape this now  
Unless you show me how” – Loki’s plea to be saved from the lifestyle he’s had. He wants the reader to teach him how to function like a normal person, to love, live and enjoy life because he can see the life in her eyes.

 **Flightless Bird American Mouth – Iron & Wine  
**\- So, besides this was one of the songs I actually used _in_ the story, there is some significance to the lyrics. Now, upon the first listen you might (like I did), think some of the lyrics are absolutely nonsense, but to me this is again another Loki song.

First verse is Loki’s upbringing, he was a smart kid who expected far too much (i.e. the crown), and found himself constantly judged by people. The “when the cops closed the fair” would be equal to Odin telling him he never could be king, regardless of how he acted, so in retaliation for that he moved onto another place in search of something, of someone who was capable of understanding him.

Chorus is Loki after he found reader-chan. The rare bird who couldn’t (or wouldn’t?) fly away from him, however he recognizes that by his own actions she is left jealous and sad sometimes. He then laments on the worry of losing her.

Second verse is how Loki is afraid he will be perceived after deciding to stay with reader-chan (as he is still trying to rule Earth), has he become a docile pet, unable to demand the respect he has craved for centuries?

 **Hal – Yasmin Hamdan  
** \- Now, this is in Arabic, and it is a song from Only Lovers Left Alive. The actual song is about a female insomniac vampire who is tormented by the absence of her lover, and has thus given up.  Really, the meaning stays the same when applied to this song. Reader-chan has been taken away from Loki (by Thor) and doesn’t feel right without him. She craves him but knows she can’t have him, and is just about to give in.  
(English Lyrics:  
i adore you  
and if a day passes by without seeing you  
i forget you..  
how come this time i drew you  
the Longing moves the nostalgia in my heart  
the night gets longer and the day passes backwards  
oh my fragile heart  
the separation is killing me  
i have no solution (hal)  
i have no solution  
my heart doesn't love once  
my heart doesn't long for you once either)

 **Give Me Love – Ed Sheeran  
** \- This was unintentionally the inspiration for the entire fanfic. When I first started, I knew Loki would have to have a reason for doing all that he has/would, and the reason was that he wanted love (which is why I ended the story the way that I did, with the two of them admitting all they wanted was each other’s love).  So really this could be seen as Loki or Reader-chans song; but I first imagined it as Loki’s. Briefly it’s about Loki seeing a girl, and wanting her. He goes through a wave of depression thinking no one would love him, and then when he finally meets her (reader), he wants her and her love. The song ending with the rather repetitive “Give me love”, almost screaming it at the end, begging, and pleading for love - - something that Loki may not physically do, but something that would certainly happen internally.

 **I’m a Mess – Ed Sheeran  
** \- To me this song is pretty self-explanatory. It’s Loki’s view on their relationship, acknowledging what has gone wrong, but is unwilling to part with her. Kind of a Part 2 to Give Me Love. He wanted her love, but now that he has it, he can’t stop screwing it up, and is trying to keep her with him. “See the flames” to me references the passion he would feel for her. Kind of a “look at me, you can tell I love you, I have fucked up royally before, but please believe me now. The end is a little bit like “I’ll love my lover as long as I feel loved”…? It’s a little hard to completely get my head around the last part of the song XD

 **Cosmic Love – Florence + The Machine  
** \- This is a reader-chan song. It’s mostly about how she first fell in love with Loki (blindly falling for him without thinking), and then the darkness that followed after loving him. Again and again she tried to ‘find the sun’ for him, the brighter side of life, for him, but the amount of darkness Loki carries made it impossible to find. Eventually she conceded, and stayed with Loki, even if he was in this inescapable darkness. If she couldn’t get out with him, then she would stay with him, even if it hurt. (also the title kind of refers to the bond they get, being a love that would span lifetimes and whatnot, it is in itself a ‘Cosmic Love’).

 **Familiar Taste of Poison – Halestorm  
** \- Another reader song. It’s about reader-chan recognizing that Loki is bad, but is very nearly powerless to go without him. The ‘wine’ in the beginning would be the love and affection Loki has for her, and after taking it all in, she is unable to go without him. She considers fighting to be free, but doesn’t want to. She just wants to be with him, regardless of the harm it causes.

 **Young and Beautiful – Lana Del Rey  
** \- This to me speaks of Reader-chans fears of mortality. She knows Loki is an immortal-ish man, and fears he will leave her once she no longer has her youth, and really preludes to her other fears because she doesn’t really speak of her age/fear of growing old as much as the other fears. So to be a little more generic with this song, its about her fear of losing Loki and his love.  (Rather simple/small description, but really that’s all this song means)

 **I’d Come for You – Nickleback  
** \- This is the song that actually led Thor to kidnap reader-chan and take her to the compound. It’s loki proving his dedication to reader-chan, and that regardless of what happened he would come and get her.  Really this is loki’s true turning point in regards to reader-chan.

First chorus is Loki begging to have more time with her, and hoping she wouldn’t dwell on the bad he had done while she was with him, and thus preferring the time she spends away from him. Then he thinks about how he feels while shes away and hopes he can make it better.  
Chorus is kind of obvious people XD  
The second verse is his revelations about how he feels now that she’s been taken from him, and what he will do to change how he has treated her/thought about their relationship.  
The bridge again just reasserts how he feels, as does the rest of the song ^^  
(Also, I know lots of people rip on nickleback… but I love them… so too bad ^^)

 **Who Knew – Pink  
** \- Reader-chan on their relationship. About trusting Loki, having that trust broken, then being absolutely shocked when he suddenly wasn’t around for her. Wishing she could be with him again, and honestly just missing him in general. The bridge “I’ll keep you locked in my head” kind of refers to the psychological bond they share during her time at the compound. The main part I love about this song in regards to this story is at the very end:  
“That last kiss  
I'll cherish  
Until we meet again  
And time makes  
It harder  
I wish I could remember  
But I keep  
Your memory  
You visit me in my sleep  
My darling  
Who knew”

 **Iris – Goo Goo Dolls  
** \- What woman doesn’t love Iris…? I mean I just adore this song. This is another Loki song. I honestly don’t think I need to write much about this. If you listen to this song and think of it as Loki singing it, it makes sense ^^ (I hope)

 **The Reason – Hoobastank  
** \- This is again, a Loki song. If ‘I’d come for you’ was Loki’s song to represent the turning point of him during their relationship, then this would be his ‘forgive me speech’ to the reader when they meet back up, or what he would say to psyche himself up before going to get her. ^^ As with Iris, I don’t feel I have to sit here and explain much more than that.

 **Bound to You – Christina Aguilera  
** \- Now, this is yet another reader-chan song. I could see her thinking stuff along these lines earlier in the series, however I do kind of imagine it would fit in better once they’re on Asgard near the bonding ceremony. Almost as if it were reader-chan looking back at the relationship “so much, so young, I’ve faced on my own”, and how she feels now “I found a man I can trust”. However, as I said, it could be used earlier in the story, when reader-chan is getting ready to admit she loves Loki, and thus is scared about that fact.

 **Love is a Battlefield – Pat Benatar (Ngaiire)  
** \- After I decided to add this to the story playlist, I heard a cover version for the television series “War & Peace” (no I don’t watch it), and I found it fit in with the mood of the series better than the original. The lyrics are the same, and people have different tastes, so I included both artists, but I prefer the Ngaiire version. Anyway, I see this as a general overview of their relationship by both of them.  First verse is definitely reader-chan’s, and the second is Loki’s most likely. (again, I think this song is rather self-explanatory so I won’t go into the verse by verse breakdown.)

 **Hey Jude – The Beatles  
** \- Weirdly enough I see this as Loki’s conscious (or maybe even Frigga) talking to Loki about reader-chan, about letting her into his head and heart without being scared, and about letting his anger/jealousy go, and refraining from being cold towards her because something he doesn’t like has happened. The lyrics that really kind of epitomize this song for me is  
“Hey Jude, don't let me down  
You have found her, now go and get her  
Remember to let her into your heart  
Then you can start to make it better” – That is because, really, if he let her into his heart at the start, almost all the bad shit that happened wouldn’t have.

 **Catch Me – Demi Lovato  
** \- This is a reader-chan song to me. At first it’s about her hesitation regarding Loki, about wanting to feel his ‘kiss’ quickly, but long enough to make it last, expecting it will hurt badly when he dumps her back with the other girls. Then she asks him to not let go. She realizes she wants to stay with him for as long as she can (“let the future pass, and don’t let go”). Then it starts talking about some of the good feelings she has regarding Loki, before moving onto some of her fears, “I can’t set my hopes too high, ‘cause every ‘hello’ ends in ‘goodbye’,” - - its her fears of abandonment. The next verse is kind of like her addressing Loki with these fears “so now you see why I’m scared”, but even without hearing his response, she is willing to love him.

 **How to Save a Life – The Fray  
** \- I… honestly don’t know who I like this song better for. I can see some lyrics referring to Loki (from reader-chans perspective), in terms of:  
“Lay down a list of what is wrong  
The things you've told him all along  
Pray to God, he hears you  
And I pray to God, he hears you”  
and  
“As he begins to raise his voice  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice”  
But I can also see it as reader-chan and Thor talking, she’s trying to spear his feelings, and make him only think of her as a friend, but it not working out despite her best efforts, leading her to ‘lose a friend’ in her eyes (which will lead to something in special #3 ^^)

 **Hurt – Christina Aguilera  
** \- Okay, so again this one links to the third special, much the same as ‘How to Save a Life’. And while it can definitely represent Loki/Reader, Odin/Loki, I actually see it as a Thor/Reader talk. Reader is hurt because she had to hurt Thor, and he is so willing to forgive everything and love her regardless. As I said though, it does link a little more too special #3, because at the end of this story, he was still on Asgard (oops. Did I give something away? ;D)

 **Broken – Seether ft. Amy Lee  
** \- Another Loki/reader song~ I personally think it would best fit during the time she was away at the compound, and like a few other songs, I feel this is self-explanatory enough to not write much more than this~

 **Better than Me – Hinder  
** \- Loki’s feelings regarding his own worthlessness and being unworthy, knowing that he probably (definitely) isn’t the best man for her, even if he wouldn’t admit it. Timing wise it would be during the compound as well.

 **My Immortal – Evanescence  
** \- Reader-chan’s feelings towards Loki, the times he had hurt her, and abandoned her, and the times she was there for him, and the fact he takes that for granted. Probably best suited to her time in prison with Thor, because she wanted so desperately to have lokis ‘presence’ (or the love she had for him) leave her so she could stop caring/hurting with everything he had done. But she can’t shake that love, and therefore feels completely alone because she is overly aware of his lack of physical presence.  I mainly like this song due to the  
“When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years” – because let’s face it, she was there for him to deal with his own feelings, but when it came down to it he still treated her like complete and utter shit.

 **Jar of Hearts – Christina Perri  
** \- This is kind of reader-chan’s feelings towards Loki in the beginning, when she was first starting to love him. She was well aware of what he was like in regards to other girls (his ‘jar of hearts’), and she doesn’t want him to come back for her, fearing the same thing would happen to her. So the ‘living half alive’ is her trying to ignore the feelings of attachment towards him.  
“And it took so long just to feel alright  
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes  
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed  
'Cause you broke all your promises  
And now you're back  
You don't get to get me back” – refers to her finally letting Loki go, only to have him come back and sweet talk her, trying to convince her to get back with her.  
Another fun line is:  
“You're gonna catch a cold  
From the ice inside your soul” – playing on the idea that Loki is a Jotun, and initially very cold.

 **Goodbye my Lover – James Blunt  
** \- Loki’s song~ This is during the time he didn’t quite know right from wrong. This song honestly kind of echoes ‘Cosmic Love’ with:  
“'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,  
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.  
So I took what's mine by eternal right.  
Took your soul out into the night.” – meaning he saw she grew attached to him (blinded by love), and kept her in the darkness that is his soul/presence that ‘Cosmic Love’ spoke of. The majority of this song is again self-explanatory in regards to Loki’s feelings towards reader-chan, and plays with various parts from their relationship, like the shared dreams, and how they thought it was only their dream. Again, this is set both around the start of their relationship and the compound incident.

 **I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing – Aerosmith  
** \- Another another Loki song. This is kind of, once all the security walls are down for him, how he feels. Of course even if they were in a relationship for millennia, he probably wouldn’t admit any of this song, because he’s a dumb ass.

 **Shake it Out (Acoustic) – Florence + The Machine  
** \- For as much as I want this to be a reader-chan song, I actually think this may be a Loki song… Considering it’s all about past regrets, trying to move on from those regrets and what not, I think the whole feeling of the song would fit Loki better. It’s kind of his acceptance of ‘yes, this is who I was, but I need to be better for her, so even if there is a ‘devil’ (evil) inside of me, I’ll try and let what happens happen.  
“And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't  
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road  
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope  
It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat  
'Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me  
Looking for heaven, found the devil in me  
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me, yeah”  
(I feel like I may need to clarify this song... So if you aren’t sure about it, lemme know.)

 **Monster – Imagine Dragons (Runaground Cover)  
** \- Oh hell is this a Loki song. It starts off with his privileged yet still sad and lonely childhood, eventually moving on to becoming a grown man who has no real conscious or light (love, help, affection) to guide him in the right way, “a candle to guide him” in the darkness of himself. Then he realizes he has essentially become a monster through the poor decisions he made in the darkness. ^^ The chorus could also be seen as something he says to reader-chan.  
“If I told you what I was,  
Would you turn your back on me?  
And if I seem dangerous,  
Would you be scared?  
I get the feeling just because,  
Everything I touch isn't dark enough  
That this problem lies in me  
I'm only a man with a candle to guide me,  
I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me.  
A monster, a monster,  
I've turned into a monster,  
A monster, a monster,  
And it keeps getting stronger.” – warning her of his dangerous side and acknowledging it (the evil/monster/darkness) continues to grow, and his fear of her leaving because of it.

 **The Last Day on Earth – Kate Miller-Heidke  
** \- Kind of a sweet-ish(?) song about reader-chans last day on earth, leading her to leave for Asgard possibly forever.  
“It's the end of the world   
And you've come back to me   
In my dreams” – kind of references the dreams they shared on one of the last days she had on Earth.  
“Between the dust and the debris   
There's a light surrounding you and me” – a rather literal explanation of the compound after Loki attacked, and them beaming up to Asgard. Also:  
“In my head I replay our conversations   
Over and over til they feel like hallucinations   
You know me, I love to lose my mind   
And every time anybody speaks your name I still feel the same   
I ache, I ache, I ache inside” – kind of conveys her feelings when anyone would bring up Loki’s name when she was around...? This ones got a little less ground than the other songs really. Kind of added it in on a whim... ^^’

Why Don’t You Love Me – Hot Chelle Rae ft. Demi Lovato  
\- Loki and reader chan song. Mainly for the chorus I must admit. I think of it as their secret need to have the other say they loved them before they said it. Demi’s verse I admit has a lot of reader-chan in it ^^

 **Not About Angels – Birdy  
** \- Lots of this song reminds me of Loki speaking to himself, hoping reader-chan wouldn’t “give him up”, however I kind of see this:  
“How unfair, it's just our luck  
Found something real that's out of touch  
But if you'd searched the whole wide world  
Would you dare to let it go?” – as him asking her, that even though their relationship isn’t the best (out of touch), if she went across the entire world, found new people, new relationships, would she let him go? The first verse also kind of has a sense for this, though instead of Loki asking reader-chan, he would be asking himself. “Even though I have literally all the time in the world, is it wrong to force her to make decisions so quickly...? If he really loved her, wouldn’t he want to give her up and let her find someone better?

 **Photograph – Ed Sheeran  
** \- Kind of a song for both of them...? In terms of never knowing a painless love before (or that their relationship itself if painful), and then the relationship healing both of them slowly. I do admit it is a little more Loki-centric towards the end,  
“Oh you can fit me  
Inside the necklace you got when you were 16  
Next to your heartbeat  
Where I should be  
Keep it deep within your soul  
And if you hurt me  
Well, that's OK, baby, only words bleed  
Inside these pages you just hold me  
And I won't ever let you go”

 **When I was Your Man – Bruno** **Mars  
** \- Loki’s song when Thor takes reader-chan. Loki’s afraid that she will fall for Thor, and before he hardens his resolve to go get her, he lists the regrets involving their relationship, and hopes Thor would treat her better. Rather self-explanatory ^^

 **Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol  
** \- Mainly chosen for a few choice lines, the chorus obviously – reader-chan (or Loki) asking the other to just be together and forget everything else, something that towards the beach house arc she starts wanting.  
“I don't quite know  
How to say  
How I feel  
Those three words  
Are said too much  
They're not enough” – Their feelings regarding each other, ‘I love you’ not being enough or needed in their relationship because its deeper to the both of them.  
“All that I am  
All that I ever was  
Is here in your perfect eyes  
They're all that I can see” – Loki speaking of the reader.  
“I don't know where  
Confused about how as well  
Just know that these things  
Will never change for us at all” – their love won’t change, regardless of the situation.

 **Stay With Me – Sam Smith  
** \- Truthfully, I kind of imagine Loki as a serial womanizer in an attempt to fill the loneliness in his heart, so when he takes over earth and can have his pick of women he tries and tries to find one that fills the gap – up until reader-chan, no one does. When he finds reader-chan, even against his better judgement he keeps her around, knowing it may be perceived as weakness to show affection for any woman, and that he would more than likely lose his cool “No, it's not a good look, gain some self-control” at one stage, making it worse. All of the ‘stay with me’ is his inner dialogue, pleading for her not to leave him ever.

 **Tears of an Angel – RyanDan  
** \- Most of it is Loki’s reaction to finding out reader-chan is a) pregnant, b)is close to death c)has to abort to save herself.  
“Cover my eyes  
Cover my ears  
Tell me these words are a lie” – pretty much summing up his shock.

 **All of** **the Stars – Ed Sheeran  
** \- This song reminded me of a modernized version of ‘Somewhere Out There”, Reader-chan and Loki looking at the same moon/skylight and wondering if the other is thinking of them. This would take place during her time in the compound. ^^

 **Madness – Muse  
** \- To me the ‘madness’ the song mentions over and over is the love she has for Loki, and most of the song is spent questioning the love she feels, whether it is love, or actual madness. Though the second half of the song (actually from the first chorus), it does kind of feel like its from Loki’s perspective,  
“But now I have finally seen the end (finally seen the end)  
And I'm not expecting you to care (expecting you to care)  
But I have finally seen the light (finally seen the light)  
I have finally realized (realized)  
I need your love”

 **Friction – Imagine Dragons (Slowed down version)  
** \- The chorus is probably the most relevant part of this song (less a few lines from some parts of the verses). It’s reader-chan’s perception of their relationship in the time between her time spent in the cells, and the beach house. The ‘friction’ could be seen as Loki’s anger and mood swings, she cant fight them, so she has to try to get away from him, the pressure of their relationship is too much and he has to get away, then in the bridge:  
“Ohhh why can't you let go  
Like a bird in the snow  
This is no place to build your home” – she makes note of the fact that she just can’t let him go, even if it isn’t good for her. Like with a few of the other songs, it’s like her inner dialogue talking her, telling her what she should/needs to do.

 **The Scientist – Coldplay  
** \- Loki and reader-chan story. It would fit in after the cells but before the beach house (like Friction), and how Loki wants to restart things with her, and reader-chan feeling like they’re going around and around. This could also be used immediately after the bonding ceremony, where reader-chan says they’re starting fresh, new and that they will be better together:  
“Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said it would be so hard  
I'm going back to the start” – Mainly represented in the last line really. She’s saying she’ll start ‘fresh’, giving Loki a clean slate. I think that the lyrics definitely lend themselves to each character obviously, so I won’t do a breakdown. ^^

 **Clarity (Acoustic) – Zedd** **ft. Foxes  
** \- Reader-chan song. Her literally asking herself why in the hell she loves Loki if everything seems to go wrong all the time.

 **Won’t Go Home Without You – Maroon 5  
** \- Lots of the songs fit in to reader-chan’s time at the compound, and surprise, surprise, this is another one XD This is Loki’s feelings really once he arrives at the compound and is confronted with the fight to get her out.  
“I may not make it through the night  
I won’t go home without you” – kind of sums up Loki’s feelings regarding the entire situation. Most of the song (especially the chorus) is Loki talking about reader-chan and what he has done to her/what he expects to happen:  
“Every night you cry yourself to sleep  
Thinking: "Why does this happen to me?  
Why does every moment have to be so hard?"  
Hard to believe that  
It's not over tonight  
Just give me one more chance to make it right  
I may not make it through the night  
I won't go home without you”

 **Everything You Are – Ed Sheeran  
** \- So many for the compound timing... This is again Loki spending time thinking over everything (a common theme at this stage ^^;)  
“'Cause maybe I don't wanna lose a lover and friend in one night  
If that's alright  
I shouldn't have fucked with your mind  
And your life too many times  
Or maybe I don't wanna be lonely  
Darling, you are my only love  
Behind my truth lies everything you want” – Is probably my favourite part of the whole song, but in reality everything suits Loki to a ‘t’.

 **Beneath Your Beautiful** **– Labrinth ft. Emeli Sande  
** \- One of the big things in this story was really Loki and reader-chan trying to learn how to actually love someone else openly and without any type of fear (fear of rejection, abandonment, pain), and this to me describes how each of them sees the other really.  
“You've built your wall so high  
That no one could climb it,  
But I'm gonna try” – could be seen as reader-chan talking about Loki, but with the past reader-chan has, it could also be seen as Loki talking about her. Both in a general “you’ve been through so much shit in your childhood that you’ve built walls to keep people out” and with what Loki has done to her.  
“Behind your Broadway show  
I heard a boy say, "Please, don't hurt me"” – was reader-chan acknowledging his softer side, and that in reality he was pretty much a scared boy.

 **Stay – Lewis Watson  
** \- Similar in theme to ‘Stay With Me’, however it’s got a few more targeted moments (When I close my eyes I hear you singing. Singing me a song that I'll forget) that fit in with things that happen between Loki and Reader-chan. Unlike ‘Stay With Me’ though, this is probably set more during her time in the cells/compound than right at the beginning, after they already have somewhat of an established relationship.

 **You’ll be Sorry – Demi Lovato  
** \- This is a reader-chan song, set during any of the times she doubts Loki really ^^; It would be kind of like what she would say to prepare herself any time she things Loki is getting ready to do something bad or leave her.

 **We’re in Heaven** **– Bryan Adams (Do Cover)  
** \- To be honest, this could be something that played over the credits (if this were a movie/tv show). With how I ended this (which I wrote in detail after choosing this song to add), it seems to fit perfectly for the final scene between them XD

 **King and Lionheart – Of Monsters and Men  
** \- The feel of this song gives me the feeling of a hesitant/unsure king who looks to his wife/lover for guidance/support (his lionheart) who stands by him regardless of the situation. It’s written from reader-chan’s perspective, so Loki would be the King, and she would be the Lionheart.  
“And as the world comes to an end  
I'll be here to hold your hand  
'Cause you're my king and I'm your lionheart.” – pretty much sums up the reason I chose this song.

 **Little Talks – Of** **Monsters and Men (video version)  
** \- This is a little like reader-chan and her hesitation towards everything, and Loki attempting to comfort her and help to remove the fear and clarify her thoughts.

 **Lockdown – Amy Lee  
** \- Probably best suited to her time in the cells. To survive the time/torture she endured in the cells, she almost had to completely detach herself from her feelings (lockdown). It also brings in her inner conflict regarding Loki (“But these dreams. Blurring the line between war and peace”) and whether she is in love with him, or if something in her mind is just holding her to his abusive ways.

 **What the Water Gave Me – Florence + The Machine  
** \- I think I may have picked some of the Florence + The Machine songs just because I like them... But I kind of link this to reader-chan’s feelings towards Loki, and her surrendering to her feelings towards her, the water being a metaphor for Loki himself.  
“That’s what the water gave us  
So lay me down  
Let the only sound  
Be the overflow  
Pockets full of stones  
Lay me down  
Let the only sound  
Be the overflow” – So she is surrendering to Loki, to his love, to his moodswings, in a kind of ‘come what may’ sort of feeling. I also attach Loki to this phrase:  
“And oh, poor Atlas  
The world’s a beast of a burden  
You’ve been holding up a long time” – because let’s face it, when he took on management of the world, he did kind of stitch himself up with a lot to deal with.

 **Lover to Lover – Florence + The** **Machine  
** \- This represents Loki before he met reader-chan. His time spent going from girl to girl with meaningless sex, secretly hoping he would find the one:  
“And I've been taking chances,  
I've been setting myself up for the fall,  
I've been keeping secrets,  
From my heart and from my soul” – before finally coming to think he is past the point of being able to be loved, and accepting that.

 **Addicted to Love** **– Florence + The Machine  
** \- Could be either Loki or reader-chan during the time they weren’t quite willing to admit they were in love. I do admit it is a fun thought to think of this playing in Loki’s head and to every line he replies ‘No, I’m not’. Theres no need for a break down, cause it’s kind of obvious with the lyrics ^^

 **Swimming – Florence + The Machine  
** \- This is Loki’s version of ‘Falling’ (next song), which uses ‘Swimming’ as a metaphor for falling so deep in love that he is unable to do anything/control himself, until he can finally learn to swim (love like a normal person).  
“I was sinking, and now I'm sunk  
I was drinking, and now I'm drunk  
Your songs remind me of swimming,  
But somehow I forgot” – and  
“Pull me out the water, cold and blue,  
I open my eyes and I see that it's you,  
So I dive straight back in the ocean  
So I dive straight back in the ocean” – and  
“Pull me out the water, cold and blue,  
I open my eyes and I see that it's you,  
So I dive straight back in the ocean  
So I dive straight back in the ocean” – are the best lyrics to show when saying that.

 **Falling – Florence + The Machine  
** \- Reader-chan’s version of Loki’s “Swimming” song. It’s less about learning how to love him for her, and more about her ultra-awareness of the likelihood that her falling (in love) will end up getting her hurt (Hitting the ground) over and over, as she had in the past.

 **Hardest of Hearts – Florence + The Machine  
** \- Now this. If I could only choose one song to almost perfectly describe their relationship nearer the start, this would probably have to be it. It goes between Loki and reader-chan as they talk about each other in their relationship (more towards the start/middle).  
“There is love in your body but you can't hold it in  
It pours from your eyes and spills from your skin  
Tenderest touch leaves the darkest of marks  
And the kindest of kisses break the hardest of hearts” – is reader-chan talking about Loki,  
“There is love in your body but you can't get it out  
It gets stuck in your head, won't come out of your mouth  
Sticks to your tongue and shows on your face  
That the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste” – is Loki talking about reader-chan, and her initial hesitation to admit her love for him.  
“There is love in our bodies and it holds us together  
But pulls us apart when we're holding each other  
We all want something to hold in the night  
We don't care if it hurts or we're holding too tight” – is both of them talking about the relationship. With the bridge they actually take turns,  
“My heart swells like a water at weight” – Reader-chan  
“Can't stop myself before it's too late” – Loki  
“Hold on to your heart” – Reader-chan  
“'Cause I'm coming to take you” – Loki  
“Hold on to your heart” – Reader-chan  
“'Cause I'm coming to break you” – Loki


	39. SPECIAL #2

These are a few original stories I have started/planned to start, as well as a few fanfiction ideas. Let me know if any of them sound interesting to you~!

 **Untitled original version of Give Me Love:**  
This is a novel version of this story, without the marvel cinematic universe influences obviously, and a little more magic/mythology/lore in it. Let me know if you think it would be worth continuing~! (There would be some massive changes regarding certain plot points in this, but I won't give away everything ;D )

Prologue

Gods can die.  All beings in the Nine Realms knew this; the death of the beloved Baldr was enough to remind them of it, but this... _This_ was something different.  This was utter carnage laying waste to the land and people of the once great Asgard.  Bodies of mighty heroes and treacherous villains lay strewn across the now cracked and dusty ground, staining the ground with their blood so deeply that even a thousand years of floods wouldn’t remove it.  The stinging air was thick with ash that caught in the lungs of anyone unfortunate enough to breathe it in, and the sky turned a deathly black, the sun couldn’t pierce the haze of clouds and soot.  The clouds began to slowly clear, revealing the blazing sun.  It touched the ground and sent a bright hue of gold over the dark land.  However, the moment of peace only lasted for a moment; as vengeance for the death of their father, Skoll and Hati devoured the sun and moon, sending all realms into darkness.  The few remaining Gods quickly lit torches as they scavenged through the piles of dead bodies to find any survivors, though they were few and far between. 

Frigga, Queen of the once prosperous land, watched from the high fields of Fólkvangr, her long golden hair danced through the strong wind.  Several wounded warriors had been brought to her field to be healed by Eir, but Frigga couldn’t stand the pained moans, or the constant and heavy metallic scent of blood.  She needed a moment to breath, a moment to truly come to grips with the death of her friends and family... Suddenly a red flash of burning fire crossed Frigga’s eyes, and in her mind’s eye, she saw the spanning fields of _every_ world burning.  Blood curdling screams echoed in the air and she saw flesh melting from the slowly moving bodies, trying to escape the flames.  A soft gasp caught in the Goddess’ throat, and brought her back to reality.  She knew what was coming... She knew that whoever stood on the battlefield would burn to death...  She wanted to warn them; she truly did, but her voice would not work, and her legs could not move.  Damn her gift.  It wasn’t a gift, it was a _curse_.  She could see what was coming, but could not breathe a word to another living soul... Frigga closed her eyes and covered her face with her hand.  The worlds would burn, and she couldn’t do anything to stop it...

For a single moment the whole world fell silent, the wind blew through the trees and lifted even more dust into the air without even whispering.  The lakes had long since run dry, only empty, dust filled beds in their wake; and it was almost like everyone on the battlefield and surrounding land knew what was to come. The wind then found its voice, and the whole world was encased in fire.

The blazing flames twice the strength of the sun burned through the dead bodies, dirt, forests – _everything_ that touched its flames was consumed and turned to ash. The fire roared towards Frigga, and she was ready and willing to embrace its heat, wanting to join her beloved husband; but before it could climb the slow incline of the hill, it stopped and circled around the field.  The blonde haired goddess turned, Hlin was standing, her strong arms outstretched and glowing pale blue, forming a shield around all those on the field.  Hlin’s deep, tanned skin was cut, bruised and stained with blood, her deep black hair knotted and flicked wildly across her face – however, she continued to strain her pain filled body until she was sure the flames had passed.  

It took nearly two weeks for the remaining Gods to assemble together, and when they finally did, Frigga was deeply saddened... Twenty four... Out of all the Aesir, Jotun and other beings involved in the battle, only twenty four had survived.... In some respects, it was a good thing; the supplies were barely enough to sustain everyone as it was, let alone any more people... but with the aid of one of Idun’s remaining apple trees, the Gods and Goddesses would be able to maintain their strength through the harsh summers and winters. 

Frigga bit into the golden apple, as the sweet taste hit her tongue, a hazy vision washed over her; showing a world, the likes of which she had never before seen.  Large, mainly colourless, buildings towered through the skyline, the streets were paved with some type of stone, and people wearing foreign clothing were bustling passed each other at a fast pace.  That was when she saw him... _Odin_ , her husband, was standing tall and strong in the afternoon sun; his grey hair and beard bordering his scarred eye and strong features. Thor stood beside him, his glowing orange hair pulled back in a low ponytail.  Happiness welled in her chest, and in that moment, she knew they would one day return.   There had always been rumours of reincarnation throughout the worlds, but with the birth of Hela – Queen of the Dead – it had moved into nothing more than myth... Perhaps her death had allowed the souls to venture on a cycle of rebirth...

***

After Ragnarok, the worlds and souls were indeed reborn.  Lifthrasir and Lif, or, if you prefer, Adam and Eve, repopulated the Earth and the many vanquished Gods and Goddesses were reborn into human form; forced to live as mortals over and over again until they were able to regain their memories and powers.  

The promise of this was a bright light after the shadow of Ragnarok; however, knowing when and where they would return was not as easy to guess. Frigga was unable to tell anyone what lay ahead, but that didn’t stop her dropping not-so-subtle hints for everyone; and when Sif caught onto her game, she went to Midgard in search of her husband, Thor.  However, after many, many years of searching, she still had not found him... Frigga sent Sif’s daughter, Thrud, to retrieve her, but there was no trace of her... Some speculated that she had perished while in the guise of a human and was such reborn into a new life; others thought that she had chosen to stay in hiding on Earth, waiting for the day when Thor returned... It broke Frigga more. She had lost her husband, her adopted son, and now her daughter-in law...

Millennia passed without true introduction to, or intervention from, the God’s incarnate; but that all changed when one – The God of Mischief – awoke.

 

 **'Asylum'** (for now till I get a better name):  
This is something that I could if I wanted to, turn into an entire series based off of the Seven Deadly Sins. It doesn't state an actual date, but is hinted to be around the time when women were sent to mental asylums for even the smallest grievances due to the contents of the story. It also involves some slightly more biblical figures, angels, demons, and an incubus. (This is not as greatly edited as the previous one, but I thought I may as well include some of it)

Chapter 1.

Insanity. Noun.

The state of being seriously mentally ill; madness.

Legal Insanity. Noun.

Mental illness of such a severe nature that a person cannot distinguish fantasy from reality, cannot conduct her/his affairs due to psychosis, or is subject to uncontrollable impulsive behaviour.

Insanity… _Insanity_.

May 13th

She was declared insane on the 10th of May, placed into a temporary hospital on the 11th, before finally being moved to the Stride Park Lunatic Asylum.  The 13th of May… It only took three days, one backstabber, one judge and two guards and her life was drastically changed. The thirteenth…. That was the day her life ended. The day her life stopped dead in its tracks - - it was a Friday, _of course_.

It seemed like something out of a story, not a fairy tale or romance novel, but a horror.  A long, narrow driveway climbed up the hillside.  Dry and dead – or slowly dying – plants bordered either side of the dirt road. The grass was dry and long, as it blew in the wind it almost looked like grey water; mimicked by the equally colourless and cloud covered sky. There was only a small window that she had to strain to see out of, but she could unfortunately see it – like a murder victim staring down the barrel of a gun – she could see her end; but it wasn’t going to be a quick end, no, she wasn’t that fortunate… The large domineering building atop the hill… Stride Park… The twig-like remnants of trees littered the grounds.  Budget cuts. That’s what happened to all the hospitals. No one spoke about it, but everyone knew that was what it was.  They had no money for real food or upkeep of the grounds or buildings, so everything fell into disarray. The small van pulled around the mouldy, cracked and empty water fountain before coming to a stop. This was it, one last breath of freedom… One last moment, though her body was confined in a straightjacket and her movements ultimately restricted by the van, she had one moment where she could breathe in the fresh-ish air and enjoy herself before her inevitable demise. It may have been a little dramatic, but that was how she felt.  She was as good as dead if the hushed, and almost secret rumours were anything to go by. Lobotomies and numerous suicides; that was the only thing that came from this place, no help, no sanctuary for the ill… just death…

The doors to the back of the van crashed open, squeaking on their rusted hinges as they moved.  The two brutes that had forcibly removed her from her home stood there, chatting idly and chuckling softly. She could feel the scowl creep onto her face, and the glares that came from one of the men told her they didn’t like her expression. The shorter, fatter man reached into the van, grabbed her by her arm, and ripped her out.  She stumbled, falling to her knees, but was quickly pulled up and forced to walk up the steps of the building. The bricks holding the whole structure up looked as though they could give way any moment, and there was more than one broken window… From a distance the maroon building and white trim looked almost nice, but now that she was closer, she could smell the foulness. The straightjacket around her prevented any of the movements she would have liked to take. Slapping the disgusting men, or kicking them square between the legs… that was what she would have liked to do…  
“This is Miss Annaleise Aglaeca?” a nurse said, glancing over a clipboard.  Her clothes were nicely primped and almost seemed meticulously cleaned, the complete opposite of the building surrounding her. The once white walls were stained yellow and brown near the floor and ceiling, the floors themselves were cracked and felt sticky to walk on in some places; and the smell… it was a mix of mildew, bleach and body musk. “She’s on floor 2, room 13, Gentlemen.” She said coolly. The two men nodded before dragging her away.  Gentlemen? Yeah, _sure_.

They literally dragged her to her room.  Her feet skimmed across the floor and banged up the crooked stairs before they finally reached her room, her straightjacket removed and she was thrown inside.  The nurse that ‘greeted’ her stepped in after the two brutes left.  
“My name is Ms. Lillian, and I am the head nurse here.  Your belongings will be sorted and any contraband removed before being brought to you. Every morning you will be woken and bathe before the prayer session. It is non-negotiable for all able bodied patients, breakfast is served after that.” She said.  Anna rolled her eyes. Misogyny... Anyone with a brain knew that was what the bible was filled with; however the action caused Lillian’s lips to purse before forming a firm line. “Do you have an issue, devoting your time to God?” she asked. Before Anna could even open her mouth, the woman she now considered to be a nun continued, “I know someone with your… _affliction_ does not often find the Lords love to be enough, but it will have to do.” She said, her voice smooth and stern.  Lillian then turned and slammed the door before; a few whispered murmurs came from the other side of the door before her footsteps disappeared down the hallway and the sound of the door bolting shut echoed in the cold, hard room.

 

 **Again an Untitled story:**  
I don't have anything actually written, because I wasn't sure if it would be better as a novel or a graphic novel (tell me what you think would work best), so I've just kind of included a little summary over certain areas. Most of this covers some vague history of the whole thing/inner workings of it, but I thought it'd be better to include it than not. 

The world went to war, again.  Many countries were destroyed and many cultures were lost. However, after the war, peace reigned, but it was not a calm peace.  Darkness still ruled over most of the land. The remaining humans were moved to one large continent.  Disease began to spread and many died.  They vaccinated, but the government still saw the weakness in humans as they stood, so they tasked scientists with finding a way to improve humans.  It was a failure - - they killed most of the experiments, but some got away - - however, they found it wasn’t needed.  The Earth slowly started returning to normal.  Other colonies were formed in old lands, and the earth returned to almost a state of ‘normalcy’.  However, the threat and memories of the war were still there, so they picked up the research of improving humans.  They eventually created ‘The Serum’, and though it only worked on some people, it was used to create highly skilled and dangerous assassins/soldiers.  These people are used by the government to keep the peace.  Whenever a rebel gains too much of a following, or a diplomat is too free thinking, or something, they are sent in to neutralise them.

Children with specific genomes are found, or in some cases bred, and are taken, trained, tortured, experimented on before they finally ‘graduate’.  They are then used as assassins for the government and other agencies.

The parent’s don’t necessarily have to have the genes, but if they do, then it makes the child’s ability to fuse with the serum better; stronger powers, better _everything_. Have to be taken and conditioned before their 12 th birthday - - or before puberty, in either case the genes lock after then, and they are unable to be turned - - however, if that is the case, they will be setup as ‘lords’ or ‘ladies’, and paired off with each other to create children to enter into the ‘school’.   Children who are found are usually found young, infants or 2-5 years old, some slip passed their doctors/sensors and are found later in life.

‘Volunteers’ - - the name of ‘students’ whose parents, the Lords and Ladies, volunteer them, they are strongest, they are given more privileges, and they are allowed to live at home - - mainly because they have one.  They don’t necessarily become assassins, they can be trained to become members of the government, or their agencies, or even presidents/other shit like that. They are ‘cultured’.  Taught mannerisms and made to think they are better, the dominant, the best variation of humans.

‘Foundlings’ and ‘Discarded’ - - two lower bands of ‘students’.  Foundlings are runaways, children found on the street, no parents, no last names, nothing.  Discarded are children whose parents sold them to the government.  Most in the lower band are the latter.  They are thrown into ‘the pit’, Underground training centres.  They are segregated into different ages, but not sexes.  Mostly just large cement rooms to house everyone.  If they don’t form ‘friendships’ or, rather ‘gangs’, they are usually killed if they do not form into a gang - - though some of the stronger ones survive on their own.  As they get older, the girls are sterilized to stop pregnancy, because there has been a tendency for the guards or other ‘students’ to either engage in consensual sex, or rape.

At 12, they are given doses of a serum that attaches to their genes and alters them.  Powers are determined completely by random.  Whatever the child’s mind is more inclined towards tends to be what their powers become, however, the powers can be influenced.  If they are given the serum and then put constantly around fire, their powers will have something to do with fire.  Not all survive the serum, some go mad, others destroy themselves with their new powers.  They are then taught control, though it is a balancing act because no one student is the same as another.

At 18 – 19, they are integrated into the human population as ‘spies’, ‘assassins’, etc. They are capable killers, smart, resourceful and unfazed by the thought of killing.

 

FANFICTIONS~

2x Adam fics (one OC, one xreader)  
Loki x (SUICIDAL) Reader x Thor  
Loki x Reader x Thor - Real world fic (Loki and Thor come to our world)  
Nat x Reader (Because girl on girl stuff appeals to me every once in a while)  
2 x Loki OMEGAVERSE fics. (one with animal demons similar to the golden compass, and another genuinely omegaverse fic)  
Prince Hal x Reader fic  
Adrian Ivashkov x Reader (Because for some reason he's been on my mind recently.)  
Now... please don't hate me... but for years I've wanted to make Twilight better. With Garret (Lee Pace's character) finding a mate at the end of the books, I've had to find myself someone else who interests me, and that was Alistair. So there is a possible Twilight fic, being a Alistair x Reader.   
Loki x Reader - this is to play with the idea of pregnancy and absolutely nothing else. Literally it will be nothing but smut, a definite PwP.  
Loki x reader - playing with the idea of Loki being inexperienced and the reader being a concubine.  
  


.... And now go to special three to see the other story I have planned. (The continuation of my Give Me Love universe)

 

 


	40. SPECIAL #3

Okay, just so you guys know, the main character from GML is taking the name of Lily, and Auden has become the main character.  The story stays the same, the only thing that changes is the name and character POV.  (Basically, I’ve grabbed the main camera from old reader chan and plonked it into Audens mind then wiped her physical appearance and changed their names. Does that make sense?)

So, long story short, there is going to be a sequel people~! ^^

-

It had been little over three years since The Avengers and Thor began the rebuild of earth.  With the added help Odin sent from Asgard, the major countries throughout the world had returned to an almost normal rhythm, and slowly it seemed like everyone was returning to a normal life - - well, everyone except for Thor...  He had arrived back on earth roughly six months after he left, and claimed he planned to take a year or two to calm down, but after the news of Loki and Lily’s pregnancy reached him, he decided he needed more time.  His mother had called to ask him to return to Asgard, and you knew he should return, but you were also so thankful he didn’t. You were glad to keep him around, but also saddened to see him so troubled... You were happy however that he was trying to move on from her. When he returned to the compound, you could tell how attached he was to her, but also how distant she was. Why would he continue to go after a girl who so obviously loved someone else? You knew you were getting closer to Thor, you were practically girlfriends with the amounts of times you had convinced him to let you do his hair... You were there for him to talk to, you were there dragging his heavy butt to bed any time he over did the alcohol... so why? Why didn’t he notice you? Was it because you were just like another SHIELD agent...? You started off as a behavioural analysist, so really you weren’t a _real_ agent, were you? You weren’t anything like Nat, or Steve... Maybe if they hadn’t found you after the New York battle it would be different...

You had been found by the Avengers in one of the SHIELD bunkers almost right after the battle of New York as everyone retreated to the bunker to reform.  You had bonded with Steve and Thor quickly, Tony eventually came around as well, and soon you found yourself an unofficial member of the Avengers. It made you happy. However when Thor left to retrieve Jane, you became worried... and even more so when you found out he had been captured and you all had to leave him there. You were in the compound when Lily first arrived, and had somehow also managed to survive the attack of the cyborg- _things_.  After that it was reasonably smooth sailing. There were a few idiots who tried to take over the world while it was still being rebuilt, but the rest of society quickly shut them out.  Humans became a stronger unit because of all that had happened, which was a good thing.  There were no more wars among the countries, nor was there the same level of poverty, homelessness or starvation.  Over the years, you had slowly taken on the role as Maria’s doppelganger.  She would be on one side of the world, and you would be on the other, but you would be in constant communication, organising The Avengers, SHIELD agents, and other factions.  However, as things began to settle down, you began to spend more and more time around the new and improved Avengers Tower.

 

To be continued... 

 


End file.
